Chapter 403: Time of Self-Reflection (2)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 403: Time of Self-Reflection (2)
The system does not tolerate me engaging in wrongful acts. Even when striving to fulfill a KPI, every action must be carried out within ethically acceptable bounds.
Regarding the recent media play, no sanctions were imposed. This was likely because I didn't directly lie—I simply "created a situation that looked a certain way"—and I didn't take the matter to court.
Nevertheless, it was a fact that I made it appear as though they had committed an assault in the meeting room. Furthermore, I hadn't corrected the distorted reports afterward.
‘I guess neither of us has the moral high ground now.’
How pathetic, Kim I-wol. You’re the one who messed up, yet because your conscience pricks you, you’re picking fights with innocent people. Who are you to judge anyone’s character?
“I was so focused on the thought that this was a chance to cut them off for good that I did something I shouldn't have. Even after all the stress rumors caused me... there was no way I could act just like them and live with a peaceful mind. And yet, I told you I’d stop thinking about these things.”
“…….”
“I’m a hypocrite.”
I spat out my true feelings as if vomiting them up and closed my eyes. I waited for Jeong Seong-bin to pass judgment.
However, Jeong Seong-bin remained silent. It was only after a long while that he finally spoke.
“……A long time ago.”
“When?”
“Back when I was a trainee,” Jeong Seong-bin said softly. “Senior Jang Jun-hu told me that my vocal color wasn't mainstream and that people would get tired of it quickly.”
It was a name he likely hated to even mention, yet Jeong Seong-bin was remarkably calm. His voice didn't even tremble.
“For a really long time… almost every day until Je-ho Hyung arrived. That’s why I’m so reassured and grateful just to have Je-ho Hyung around, but that’s beside the point, so I’ll set it aside.”
“…….”
“Hearing things like that repeatedly made me lose all my confidence.”
I remembered the Jeong Seong-bin I met right after my regression. I could still vividly see his shadowed face, devoid of any self-assurance.
“It was hard.”
“…….”
“I wanted to quit. Everything.”
It wasn't just a matter of whether to continue as an idol trainee.
Singing, working.
Building new relationships with strangers—everything necessary for living.
“Then, like a miracle, I received an apology, and I never had to deal with him again. That’s when I got to sing 『First Step』.”
When I told him I would get permission to release the cover track from Jang Jun-hu, Jeong Seong-bin had been certain that Jang Jun-hu would refuse.
I hadn't told Jeong Seong-bin everything we discussed in that meeting room. But he had sensed it. He knew Jang Jun-hu hadn't given his permission willingly.
“Hyung, because you’re such an upright person, you must feel guilty for making it look like your family was falsely accused. I wasn't exactly comfortable with the fact that we were essentially blackmailing a senior by holding his weakness over him, either….”
Jeong Seong-bin took a small breath.
“But on the flip side, what other way was there to get an apology that would actually bring closure?”
I couldn't answer.
Stripping the original singer’s image from the song Jang Jun-hu cherished most was the greatest revenge I could think of at the time.
Against a senior with much more experience, and within the same agency where a company-mediated response was difficult, it was the best I could do….
“I think it’s cruel to call something a ‘choice’ when it’s the only option left for someone backed into a corner.”
“…….”
“It’s not like there were other options.”
I recalled the events of not long ago, when I felt lost with no clues in sight. The feeling of desperately searching for a way out while standing on the edge of a cliff still felt like it happened yesterday.
“Unless they’ve gone through the same thing, no one can criticize you for this, Hyung. They don't have the right.”
Is that so? Only the individual knows the events that shaped their convictions.
I knew this in my head. I had been thinking this very thing until just a moment ago. That was why I had reflected on how I shouldn't have spoken so harshly to Gu Ja-han.
“No matter the outcome of the trial, nothing can fully compensate for the wounds you’ve suffered. I just hope you don't add more wounds to yourself.”
“…….”
“It’s unfair to start thinking the way the perpetrators want you to. Just do what you told me. If you hate them, resent them as much as you hate them.”
“…….”
“If anyone calls you a hypocrite, then this is the right time to distance yourself from them. Because anyone who truly treasures you couldn't possibly say that.”
Jeong Seong-bin’s words struck a chord.
Just as Jeong Seong-bin’s decision to quit being a trainee hadn't stemmed from his own will or judgment.
Was the obsession I felt about being perfectly beyond reproach in my relationship with those two—the thought that I had made people misunderstand my Mom and Dad through lies—truly my own opinion?
A hollow laugh escaped me. Gaslighting really has a massive impact when you experience it firsthand. Even though I was the one who advised Park Ju-woo to listen to the people who give him advice for his own sake.
“Our leader is truly terrifying. He sees everything from a mile away while lying in bed.”
“Is that so?”
Seong-bin laughed. I told him I felt reassured having a leader like him and showered him with praise for his work as a one-day counselor.
The next morning, the dorm was in an uproar over the issue of ‘Kim I-wol experiencing guilt… unconditional praise and taking his side required.’ This happened because Jeong Seong-bin, in the middle of breakfast, asked me to repeat what I said yesterday. I’ll say it again: our leader is truly terrifying.
“It’s not like you went to court and testified that you were strangled in the meeting room! You announced that you wouldn't make it an issue since neither side had proof of being hit, and you didn't actually file additional charges!”
Lee Cheong-hyeon was practically fuming. He shouted while slamming his fist on the dining table.
“Even though the lawyer said it was worth suing just for pressure, even if it ended in non-indictment! It wouldn't have increased their punishment anyway, so why does it bother you so much? Do you really think there’s a problem with you rallying some supporters? They’re the ones throwing trash in the middle of the match!”
“Okay, let’s just eat.”
“How can you even think about food right now?!”
The frenzied Lee Cheong-hyeon was finally silenced by Choi Je-ho’s comment: “If you’re not going to eat, I’m taking yours.”
“I don't entirely fail to understand how you feel, Hyung, but I hope you don't blame yourself for this, at least. Think about your Malicious Comment File. How many of those comments were actually reasonable?”
“What’s a Malicious Comment File…?”
At Park Ju-woo’s question, both my spoon and Kang Gi-yeon’s stopped in mid-air. Jeong Seong-bin’s clear eyes turned toward the two of us.
In an instant, Kang Gi-yeon and I were nearly forced to write reflection letters on ‘I will unconditionally share with the members whenever I feel malicious comments are justified’ and ‘I will not keep secrets from the members.’
However, after glaring at us in silence, Jeong Seong-bin let it go with a sigh, and we managed to survive the crisis by making a pinky promise.
Lee Cheong-hyeon, who successfully defended his bowl from Choi Je-ho, diligently finished his song production on schedule. The proactive Choi Je-ho, who knew how to scoop more rice from the cooker if he was still hungry, also mastered advanced skateboarding techniques. Everyone was finishing their preparations for the comeback.
To secure as much activity time as possible, we had cut the teasing period to the absolute minimum. Forget pre-promotion; it looked like we’d be running promotions the moment the album dropped.
‘I only did it because I have something to rely on.’
Since the trial was still ongoing, every little move Spark made was being reported in the news. As the members’ variety show appearances increased, there were plenty of opportunities to slip in a word about the comeback.
Above all else…….
≫ Lee Cheong-hyeon’s Insta is literally the embodiment of trends.
Who else but Lee Cheong-hyeon could cover themselves from head to toe in ambassador products?
└ I’ve seen people post outfits with one or two brands, but he posted all of them at once lol.
└ Usually, they wear brands separately or take individual photos to give each brand its own post lol. The way he just threw them all on as his casual wear is so ‘Good thing + Good thing = Super good thing!’ mindset lol.
└ He styled it well without it looking overwhelming. As expected, you need that basic fashion sense to pull it off……
≫ Omg, Lee Cheong-hyeon changed his Bubble Pop nickname to CutePrettyVisualR2Cheonghyeon.
Is it because he hit #2 in brand reputation? No way lol.
└ What are we going to do with this over-the-top puppy lol.
└ So proud of our youngest for hitting #2 in brand reputation in his second year since debut ㅠㅠ.
……Lee Cheong-hyeon achieved the incredible feat of landing five additional advertisements in the second half of this year alone. Thanks to that, whenever he posted anything on social media, minor articles like ‘Lee Cheong-hyeon, the Muse of ○○, Drops Surprise Spoiler Ahead of Comeback’ poured out.
Since we had gained enough reflected benefits, I told him he could choose whether or not to promote the group at his ad shoots, but Lee Cheong-hyeon made a fuss about wearing a handmade headband to a red carpet event. I had no choice but to allow him to say just one sentence: “Please look forward to Spark’s comeback too!”
With everyone working day and night, the comeback was just around the corner. Park Ju-woo had already circled the date on the calendar as if he’d been waiting for it.
“Guys, after today, I don't think we’ll be able to rest much until the comeback and promotions are over. Everyone, go straight to sleep as soon as you get inside!”
At Manager Chan-yeong’s warning, which sounded more like a threat, everyone washed up in turn and headed to bed the moment we arrived at the dorm. Everyone except me.
Since he said there wouldn't be any personal time for a while, there was something I had to check in advance.
‘How much time do I have left…?’
There was 25% remaining until the Synchronization Rate was full. It hadn't been long since the Fortune Teller looked at me and felt a sense of crisis. It was certain that I was running out of time.
The fact that the system wasn't rushing me to hold a concert meant the current schedule was reasonable. If it felt like I was dawdling, I would have already heard the system calling Assistant Manager Kim lazy.
The period during which the Final KPI can appear is clearly defined. It’s when there is an opportunity to nullify my sister’s accident. Once that period passes, the KPI becomes meaningless.
One might argue that since I lost my sister in my late twenties, I could just calculate the number of KPIs that will appear until then and knock them out, but…….
‘The Synchronization Rate is increasing too fast.’
The road ahead was long, but my body was wearing down at an excessive speed. It was just like when I moved up the debut schedule in the beginning, and all sorts of accidents came crashing down at once.
‘Even so, if you’re going to assign a project, you should at least tell me the final deadline.’
I opened a system entry that had recently been unlocked.
+
[SYSTEM] The ‘Personnel Disadvantage Clause’ is being notified to ‘Party B.’
▷ Internal Regulation Violation
▷ Violation of Confidentiality Agreement
▷ Non-compliance with Deadline
+
This was the function that had been activated after my Self-PR score on my resume reached the maximum of 20 points due to the recent series of events: ‘Non-compliance with Deadline.’