Chapter 402: A Time for Reflection (1)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 402: A Time for Reflection (1)
I never did end up drinking that non-alcoholic wine.
As it turned out, the wine was for Woo Yun-jae; there was something else intended for me.
“Yun-jae personally chose this drink for you in advance, Iwol.”
“Really?”
What I received was Ssanghwa tea.
“At first, he wanted to brew Ssanghwa-tang, but he heard the medicinal version is an acquired taste, so…”
“I love both the tea and the medicinal brew!”
Worried that Yun-jae might actually march off to an oriental medicine clinic if I said otherwise, I sat there and drank it diligently.
After answering a few more questions, the filming concluded. Woo Yun-jae bowed so deeply his waist nearly snapped before disappearing in his own car.
“It can’t be easy getting around without a manager. He’s quite impressive,” the MC remarked, watching the receding license plate with admiration.
“Well, I should get going too…”
The production crew and the MC could only pack up once the guest had left.
As I tried to make a quick exit, the MC caught me.
“Iwol, do you have another schedule after this?”
“No, sir!”
“You think I don’t know you’re the type to say you don’t even if you do? Can you spare about ten minutes?”
I asked my manager for permission and hopped into the MC’s car. Even though it was a celebrity’s van just like ours, the lack of clutter compared to Spark’s van made it feel entirely different.
Once he made sure the door was shut tight, the MC lowered his voice.
“How is your body feeling?”
“Pardon?”
Was this really something that needed to be asked so secretly?
“I’m perfectly fine! I’ve been getting plenty of rest lately. I haven’t even done any broadcasts other than ‘Off the Story.’”
“Is that so?”
His tone was thick with doubt. I wondered if my secret technique of ‘appealing with sincerity’ had grown rusty after a few days of rest, but then an unexpected name cropped up.
“Remember the fortune teller we met at the house of prayer during our first recording?”
“Of course.”
To summarize the story that followed:
After the previous filming at the fortune teller’s house, the MC had sent a thank-you text to the woman for accepting such a sudden reservation.
Perhaps because she was concerned about the person who had shed tears during the recording, the fortune teller had replied with words of encouragement and comfort. Using that as a starting point, the two had begun exchanging messages occasionally.
“The two of you are the same age?”
…A unique friendship had blossomed between the fortune teller, who had lost most of her social ties after receiving her divine calling, and the MC, who had endured many hardships and storms in the entertainment industry.
Apparently, the decision to revamp the format of ‘Off the Story’ into its current version was also thanks to her advice that he ‘should trust in his own strengths.’ The fact that he could produce high-quality content through talk alone had been proven by the rave reviews for Season 2.
“A little while ago, she texted me asking, ‘You have a meeting with Kim Iwol soon, don’t you?’”
“Pardon?”
“She said Iwol appeared in her dream recently. And, well… do you remember when we were getting our fortunes read? How she said she couldn’t see your face clearly?”
Of course I did. That’s why my nickname is now ‘Undead Afterlife Cool Water’ or whatever.
“She said a dark energy was almost completely covering your body, making it hard to see your form. She didn’t contact you directly because some people find it uncomfortable to hear bad news, but…”
She must have been worried after hearing the bad news, then saw the reports of me shaking up the industry with my private life before collapsing. I understood why the MC was going out of his way to tell me this.
“I guess she was right about the gastric ulcer. We didn’t announce the details, but I almost had to have surgery.”
If I tried to act clumsily tough now, I’d probably end up looking like Field Rose Girl Jelly, pretending to be cheerful despite her hardships. To prevent his imagination from wandering toward even worse scenarios, I emphasized that ‘the fortune teller was right to warn me, but I’m okay now!’ Fortunately, the MC believed me.
“You have to take care of your health. No matter what you do, your body is your greatest asset. Understood?”
I was sent off with well-wishing remarks and a box of red ginseng. Thanks to that, I was able to step out of the car with my hands full.
My phone was flooded with messages I’d missed during the recording. As I replied to them one by one in the van on the way back, only the last message remained.
[Senior Gu Ja-han]
- So that promotion you mentioned was with Woo Yun-jae?
- Why him, of all people?
[Me]
- Because we were partners.
[Senior Gu Ja-han]
- Does that even make sense? The level of buzz is completely different.
- Are a supporting role and a lead the same thing?
It seemed he had even read the press releases.
‘He definitely seems to dislike the idea.’
Gu Ja-han had changed a lot. He no longer swore or threw tantrums.
However, that change was limited to a very small number of people.
[Senior Gu Ja-han]
- Unbelievable.
- There are so many crazy people out there.
Gu Ja-han’s essence hadn't changed much. He just stopped speaking harshly to me and Ha Seo-myeong and became a bit kinder to the managers.
This was the reason I tried not to get closer to Gu Ja-han than necessary.
[Senior Gu Ja-han]
- That Woo Yun-jae guy probably barely said a word and just rode your coattails.
- Are you a pushover? Why are you doing others a favor?
Everything Gu Ja-han said was intended for my benefit.
But a person who is kind only to me while treating others coldly… reminds me of someone.
[Me]
- Senior.
I couldn't hold back and sent the message. A wall of text followed, filling the chat window.
I knew he was worried about a much younger junior. I knew how much thought and effort it must have taken for someone like him to show such goodwill.
But it pained me. The fact that I was being treated well while others were still being neglected. The fact that I had to watch someone who had done nothing wrong be ignored so casually.
Because I didn't want anyone—including myself—to have their humanity insulted.
[Me]
- …I understand you might not see the difference. I have nothing to say even if this seems like I’m trying to lecture you.
- However, if our opinions differ on this, I don’t think our relationship can last long.
I expected a reply asking if I was disciplining him. I braced myself for a message that didn't hide his displeasure, something like, ‘Are you telling me to go around apologizing to everyone?’
But the reply that arrived was short.
[Senior Gu Ja-han]
- Fine.
“Sigh…”
A deep sigh escaped from the bottom of my heart. My manager asked what was wrong, but I couldn't give an answer.
“Why the long face?”
Kang Gi-yeon asked as soon as he saw me return home.
“I’m feeling a pang of conscience.”
“…?”
One of Gi-yeon’s eyebrows arched sharply. His brow didn't relax until I told him it was a joke.
Even while showering, my heart felt heavy. Gu Ja-han’s last message kept floating around in my head.
‘I said something I didn't need to say.’
I don't mind raising an issue when someone’s behavior is objectively wrong. If left alone, they’ll just do the same thing again.
However, life values are a different matter. No one has the right to point fingers at how another person chooses to live. Only the individual knows the events that shaped their beliefs.
‘I just acted on impulse…’
Even after standing under the hot water for ten minutes, my gloomy mood didn't fade. My depression must be fat-soluble.
I sat on the edge of the bed with a towel over my head when Jeong Seong-bin called out to me.
“Did something happen?”
“No. Why?”
“Gi-yeon was worried about you.”
That little blabbermouth. He’d already gone and told the leader.
“I told him it was a joke. Why didn't he believe me?”
“You have such a serious personality, after all.”
I couldn't bring myself to look into Seong-bin’s eyes as he casually countered me. I feigned ignorance and lay face down on the bed. Seong-bin was silent for a long time before getting up, saying he’d turn off the light if I was going to sleep.
After that, we both just lay there in silence. I stared blankly at the ceiling before speaking.
“Seong-bin, are you asleep?”
“No.”
An answer came back to my unexpected call.
“Why aren't you sleeping?”
“It’s only been five minutes since I lay down.”
“Only that long?”
It was true. I couldn't believe it.
“If there’s something you want to talk about, go ahead,” Seong-bin said in a gentle voice, lying straight with his eyes closed.
I didn't want to burden him with my trivial worries when he was already busy with group matters. Besides, it was immature. I should be someone he can lean on, not the other way around.
But…
“You know…”
…Maybe it was because my chest felt so tight.
“Actually, I did something wrong today…”
The words started pouring out. Seong-bin waited a long time until my rambling story came to an end.
I snapped at Senior Gu Ja-han. I thought his behavior wasn't right. He seemed pissed off. It wasn't the right thing to do, so I regret it a bit. I should have just kept my mouth shut.
That was the gist of what I told Seong-bin. Even after hearing my confession, he remained silent for a while.
“…Are you asleep?”
“No!”
He hadn't moved an inch, so I thought he’d fallen asleep. I almost felt a bit sad.
“Hyung.”
“Yeah.”
“What do you think is the… fundamental reason you ended up calling him out?”
Seong-bin’s voice trailed off, perhaps worried he might sound presumptuous. But the core of his question was elsewhere.
“The fundamental reason?”
“You’re not the type of person to just flat-out tell someone they’re ‘wrong’ based on their behavior. You either endure it, try to understand, or try to persuade. If it’s someone you’re going to see for a long time, you usually try to persuade them.”
His pronunciation was clear and distinct; he hadn't been closing his eyes because he was sleepy, but because he was thinking.
“And since the other person is a senior, there’s no way you did it just out of anger. There must be a reason…”
“…”
“If those words just popped out without you even realizing it, I think it might be because you’re mentally unstable right now.”
His trust in his fellow member was more than just solid; it was impenetrable.
“What if I’ve just become arrogant and full of myself? Why are you taking my side so blindly?”
“As if that would ever happen.”
“You never know with people. There’s a reason for the saying, ‘You can know the depth of ten fathoms of water, but not the heart of one man.’”
“Hyung, which do you think is more realistic: the world ending, or Ju-woo growing to hate rock music?”
“The former, obviously.”
Wait. I feel like I’ve heard a similar question from Choi Je-ho before.
The corners of Seong-bin’s mouth twitched into a smile. It was a smile filled with the conviction that his explanation was sufficient. Feeling like I’d lost, I turned my back to him.
Humans are truly complex creatures. Especially in how we want to hide certain things, yet having secrets isn't entirely comfortable, so we end up looking for someone to share them with.
“…I do feel guilty.”
About framing my mom and dad for strangling me.
I knew I’d done something immoral, so I ended up taking my frustration out on the wrong person.