I... (2)

By the time the twelve-hour flight set me down in Korea, it was a midsummer afternoon, the sun so fierce and clear it stung.

I don't think the word scorching has ever fit a day so cleanly. Britain had been comparatively cool, and the medieval-fantasy past I'd crossed into after that had felt less like summer than spring or autumn. Maybe that was why the heat struck me so much harder.

Heat shimmer rose off the black asphalt as I walked toward immigration, and the security detail from the same flight broke away in a rush for the automated gates. Dad, Franc, and I followed an airport premium-service guide through the VVIP corridor into the terminal, and there they were, waiting for us. Mom, Siha, and Hwayeon.

Mom and Siha smiled brightly and waved. Hwayeon looked at me with a soft, open face, her eyes warm.

Watching them, a burning thirst climbed my throat, and with it a chill that ached in my chest.

"Welcome home, dear. You too, son. Was the trip to Britain fun?"

"Yeah…… It was fun."

"You and Franc went to Stonehenge too, didn't you? How was it?"

"Just a pile of stones standing in a field. Nothing much."

"Have you been eating properly? You look a little thin."

"Do I? Franc kept pushing this and that on me. I ate fine."

Whenever Mom or Siha or Hwayeon asked something, I answered, and that was how we left the airport…… The next time I came back to myself, I was home.

I don't really remember the way back. All I remember is Siha and Hwayeon watching me, puzzled.

Mom said she'd put some real effort into dinner and that we ought to eat together at home, so we stopped on the fortieth floor first to set the bags down, then came down to the thirty-ninth. A big low table had been opened in the living room, the food on it only half laid out. They must have been in the middle of getting dinner ready when they came to meet Dad and me.

The women of the house were laughing and chattering in the kitchen as they cooked. I couldn't see Dad; when I went looking, he was washing up in the bathroom. I came back out to the living room, stared blankly at my family talking and laughing, and quietly sat down on the sofa.

A little later Yeongeun arrived, putting on her usual innocent act, and when she winked at me where no one else would catch it, I managed, just barely, to smile back.

When I came to again, a lavish spread filled the table between us, and the mood in the house had gone awkward.

Everyone but Dad was studying my face. Come to think of it, since leaving the airport I hadn't said a word beyond answering what I was asked. On any ordinary day I would have fired back at Siha's teasing and horsed around. Sitting there stone-faced and silent, of course the air had turned strange.

While the others stole careful glances at me, Mom asked, quiet and gentle.

"Son. Did something happen? If something's weighing on you, won't you tell Mom?"

……My heart hammered. My head went light, my vision swam, and a buzzing like flies started up in my ears. I closed my eyes ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and swallowed a breath, and everyone set their spoons down to look at me, worried.

Maybe I just…… shouldn't say it. If I kept my mouth shut, Franc would stay quiet too. If I alone stayed quiet, no one would ever know. It didn't matter that I wasn't Mom and Dad's biological son. I loved my parents. They loved me, and so did Siha.

But that I carried a demon's blood…… that……

Franc was looking at me as if she might cry. When I sat there and couldn't get a word out, Mom's gaze turned to her on its own.

"I've never seen my boy like this. Franc. Can you tell us what happened in Britain?"

"Th-that is……"

Franc fumbled, unable to finish, then bowed her head low. "Forgive me."

At the sight of her refusing to speak, Hwayeon and Yeongeun seemed to understand that this was no small thing, and their faces went rigid. Siha, without even knowing why, welled up, caught my hand tight, and stared at me. Dad set his spoon down too and looked at me in silence, and I made up my mind.

I'll say it.

"I…… found out."

"Wh-what? Found out what?"

The moment I opened my mouth, Siha couldn't hold herself back. She rose halfway from her seat and pressed me, urgent.

"My birth mother. It's Aunt, isn't it?"

Mom's and Dad's faces locked up all at once, and I understood. It was true. What Myrddin had told me was real. And, just a little, my heart eased.

Siha let out a startled "Huh?", looking back and forth between me and our parents, then sucked in a breath, shock plain on her face. Hwayeon and Yeongeun, by comparison, took it in with relative calm, as if to say so that was it, and was it, now?

"This part doesn't matter. I know how much Dad and Mom and Sis love me. It's all right. I…… I really love Dad and Mom, and Sis, too."

I ought to smile. I decided to smile, and I did, though I couldn't tell what my face actually looked like. Dad's expression gave away how tangled he was inside, and from the pity on Mom's and Siha's, I probably hadn't managed a real smile at all.

"But…… but they said part of my soul is a demon. That I'm a demon's half-blood."

At that, Dad and Mom closed their eyes. I hadn't expected it. Did they know about this, too? Siha, by contrast, looked as if she doubted her own ears. She clearly hadn't known a thing.

Silence settled over the table. I bowed my head and stared down at it, until Dad opened his eyes and spoke in a hard voice.

"Who told you that."

I had never seen his face set like that. And at what I said next, he looked as if he had forgotten how to speak.

"Myrddin. King Arthur's archmage and sage, the one they call Merlin. He said it."

I switched on my Certifier and, in front of everyone, played back the conversation I'd had with Myrddin.

The footage ran on without a pause, and everyone went rigid, as if struck.

"The first time I really felt that something was wrong was after I reached C-Class, from the moment I had a certain dream. A vision. After that, questions started gathering one by one, things I needed to know, and old man Myrddin's words bound all those doubts into one. And I was sure."

My chest, my heart, lurched. There was no taking it back now. I stared down at the table and forced the words out so weakly I wondered if they were even mine.

At those last words, the house was swallowed in silence.

Franc sat still, her head bowed. Mom and Siha looked dazed. Hwayeon and Yeongeun had gone completely stiff. No one moved. No one reacted. I couldn't bear it.

My heart pounded, and the world in front of me spun. I know wanting to crawl into a mousehole isn't an idiom meant for a moment like this, but that was exactly how I felt. I wanted to hide. The urge to bolt from the table and run was growing stronger when Mom stood, came to my side, and pulled me into her arms.

Siha spilled a few tears and crawled over to hug me from the other side. Dad, wearing a rare and frightening scowl, had his eyes closed. Hwayeon and Yeongeun simply watched me.

"What does any of that matter. Why should a thing like that hurt my boy's heart."

"Hic. That's ridiculous. If you're a demon, then this world is crawling with monsters worse than demons. Sniff. You're my little brother. You're not some demon. Sob."

Mom and Siha clung to me, crying, stroking my hair, and it was then that Yeongeun carefully opened her mouth.

"Um…… Seoha?"

"……Yeah."

"So has something actually changed in our Seoha's body……?"

At that, Mom and Siha whipped around and glared at her with such murderous force that Yeongeun flinched and waved her hands frantically.

"N-no, no! It's not that I have some other reason! It's just that, the way I see it, our Seoha hasn't changed at all! Whether that old geezer was telling the truth comes second. All I can see is the same cute Seoha as always! That's why I asked!"

"Nor do I see any change in Seoha," Hwayeon said, quiet and even. "He looks exactly as he always has, and yet a demon…… If anything, it seems far more credible that the old man in that recording is the demon, and that he talked Seoha into this."

Then Dad stood, went into the study, and came back with a fairly thick file.

"Son. Let's clear the table."

"Huh? Yeah."

I got up. Siha, still hiccuping and sobbing, let go, and Mom shifted aside so Hwayeon and I could move the table back. I sat down again, and at once Mom and Siha had their arms around me. Franc and Hwayeon came to my side as well, and Yeongeun, watching the family's mood, sidled closer little by little. Dad sat down in front of me and opened the folder.

"So that man is the Myrddin of King Arthur's legend. I'm curious what you've been through these past five days, but right now this matters more."

He pushed the open file toward me.

"These are Surin's medical examinations, and the records kept from the time you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠were born out of her womb and as you grew."

He flipped through the pages with a rustle and set a finger on one place.

"And as you can see, the same blood type as Surin, a DNA structure confirming mother and child, and every one of them states that there is nothing about you that differs from a human being."

I stared blankly at the papers. Dad spoke again.

"I always thought the day would come when I had to tell you. I imagined it would be gentle, under kinder circumstances, not a revelation like this. Because of that senile-looking old man, it's come out this way. Yes. As you said, your birth mother is Surin. The woman you have thought of, all this time, as your aunt."

So it really was……

"But as far as this father is concerned, you are still nothing other than our son. What do you think?"

"I…… I'm human too. I'm not some demon…… I want to believe that. But, but my soul……"

"I can see how great a shock it was, hearing that from the old man. This father is a physician. I don't know much about things like souls. But what I can be certain of is this: you are still our son. So believe it. If you cannot believe in yourself, then believe in the family, and the people precious to you, who believe in you. Pay no mind to the ramblings of that senile old man. Live from here on as you have lived until now. That is all."

"Mom can't believe our sweet boy is a demon either. You've been so good, so adorable all this time, and they say a demon's blood? Our son has been a good boy for all eighteen years."

"Yeah……"

Mom wiped the tears running down my cheeks with a handkerchief and patted my back. Siha held me tight and said nothing.

"I'll say this last. You may not be a child your mother bore through the pain of labor, but you are a child we bore with our hearts. From now on, just as before, I hope you will keep calling us Dad and Mom."

Dad, Mom, and Siha were showing me that they didn't care if demon's blood ran in me, and Hwayeon and Yeongeun looked as if it hardly mattered to them either. Franc wiped at her tears and broke into a bright smile, as if to say it had all turned out well.

"……Okay."

I forced the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠answer out and nodded, and Mom and Siha hugged me even harder.

Thank goodness.

Really…… thank goodness.

"There's a story I need to tell you."

After we had eaten the dinner gone cold, Dad said he had something to say and brought me into the study. Siha tried to follow, but Dad stopped her, Mom caught hold of her, and she was dragged back to the living room. Only the two of us were left.

"Before that, I'm curious about the vision you said you saw. Can you tell me what it was? If it's hard to speak of, you needn't."

"No. I'll tell you."

I did. Through that vision Dad learned what had happened to my mother, and with a heavy face he looked out at the night city beyond the window.

"Did it not strike you as strange?"

"……That when Aunt died, and when I was born, the times don't match?"

"Yes. Your mother, Surin…… After she came back alive from the Phase World, she spent every day staring blankly at the sky. She showed no reaction at all to anything from outside. Left alone, she was so quiet it was hard to believe she was suffering from a disorder of the mind."

Slowly, Dad began to tell the past, and from his mouth came a story that was hard to believe.

"Surin returned alive with grave wounds over her whole body, and with only her right arm and right leg remaining. Even those limbs were riddled with holes several centimeters across. People were horrified. What in the world had happened in the Phase World, for her to come back bearing wounds that looked like torture? And while she was being treated at the Ability Users' Association hospital, Surin stabbed a male doctor to death with a paring knife."

She killed…… a doctor?

Dad let out a long sigh, then went on, his face drawn with exhaustion.

"Surin, who had shown no reaction to any outside stimulus, had suddenly committed murder, and people were left with nothing to say. When the investigation came back, your grandmother and I felt the sky fall in. She had suffered so terribly in the Phase World and come home, and that so-called doctor……"

As it turned out, a doctor with filthy intentions had forced himself on my mother, who gave no response to anything from outside. The man who died by her hand was the one who had raped her.

……Wait. If that's how it was…… then that son of a bitch who died by Mother's hand is my father? Myrddin had called me a human-demon half-blood. How did that work? Had I been affected by some demonic essence still lingering in her body, back when she took that man's seed and conceived me? My head was starting to tangle, but for now I kept listening.

"As an ability user, Surin committed the serious crime of killing an ordinary person. She was not punished."

The dead doctor's family raised hell, but the circumstances of his assault had come out clearly, and the case was one in which the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠perpetrator had become the victim, and the victim the perpetrator. On top of that, Mother had been judged of diminished capacity under a Grade 2 mental-disorder finding, and in light of the circumstances she was spared prison and transferred to a special hospital for ability users. After that, her Grade 2 classification was reassessed to Grade 1, the most severe, and she was confined in isolation from the outside world.

From that day on, Dad and Grandmother filed suit against the state, the Ability Users' Association, and the ability-user hospital. They could not trust them. That was the reason. The plea was that the isolation be lifted, so Mother could convalesce at the family home in the countryside.

"Right after her return, while she was under treatment and protection, the Association measured and classified her. Surin was an H Class detection-type ability user. Aside from her body growing a little sturdier than an ordinary person's, and gaining a detection ability, she was no different from a civilian. So the higher court ruled in our favor, on the condition that Surin not leave her place of convalescence."

The Association accepted Dad and Grandmother's demand as well, by fitting Mother with a special Certifier meant to track her location. A civilian doctor had raped a female ability user who had come back in ruins, and the victim's household had already produced two casualties of the Phase World. Once that reached the press and public opinion locked onto it, neither the state nor the Association could afford to take a hard line.

"I first sensed something wrong six months after we brought Surin home."

Grandmother, who had been looking after Mother, said she grew suddenly suspicious when Mother's lower belly began to swell.

"Your grandmother called me. I brought examination equipment home, and the moment I examined Surin, I knew something unbelievable had happened."

What he meant was that I had been growing in Mother's womb.

Dad and Grandmother fell halfway into a panic. Pregnant? Pregnant from where? That incident, six months back? But that had been twenty-four weeks ago. At twenty-four weeks the belly ought to have been swollen enough to notice. Mother's was only slightly rounded, so slight that at a glance you might not even have known she was with child.

For my sake and Mother's, Dad began to study obstetrics on the side, cutting even into his sleep. A month later he brought obstetric equipment from an acquaintance's hospital, laid Mother on the examination table, and examined her again. He said that this time he could confirm me precisely, there inside her.

Ten fingers. Ten toes. Two arms and two legs. In form I was no different from any ordinary baby. The problem was the rate of growth, not even a quarter of a normal fetus.

"It was incomprehensible. At the examination, your body was the size of a seven-week fetus. But the shape of that body was at the level of a six-month baby."

Dad worried over a thing that was plainly wrong and tried everything to grasp the reason, but in the end he couldn't uncover it. And so, without being able to tell anyone else, another four months passed.

I was born.

Thinking nothing good would come of the matter getting out, Dad didn't take Mother to a hospital. At home, with Grandmother, he helped her through the birth. Even counting it as ten months, I wasn't half the size of other babies, and thanks to that I came into the world without much difficulty.

Grandmother and Dad said they were left speechless at the sight of me, no bigger than two adult hands cupped together. Ask whether I was premature, though, and that wasn't it either. Examined with extreme care, I was simply small. Otherwise no different from any other baby.

"Surin gave birth to you without great pain. She held you carefully in her remaining arm, nursed you, and for a moment she seemed to have her reason back. Then. Then I should have stayed beside you, and beside Surin……"

Dad had his back to me. From the set of it, his anguish came through so sharply it hurt.