Chapter 2
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 2
Chapter Title: How to Get Close to a Witch (2)
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"Where should I start the explanation? History might be a bit boring..."
The 14th floor of Seoul City Hall.
Upon arriving at a floor number that definitely hadn't been on the elevator buttons, I had imagined some inexplicable spectacle. Instead, what appeared was an unexpectedly ordinary hallway.
With its base of white and softly curving paths here and there, it had the advantage of being easy on the eyes—a hallway that suited me perfectly.
But looking at the plaques labeling various divisions and departments along the corridor was quite the sight.
The civil servants walking around seemed to be mostly ordinary humans, but every plaque next to the offices without fail included the word "witch."
It seemed the entire 14th floor of Seoul City Hall was made up of departments exclusively for witches.
As I was taking in the view, something lightly poked at my arm.
"Enjoying the sightseeing, are we?"
"...Ah, sorry. I got distracted while you were talking..."
"It happens."
Eve Lycaon.
The team leader, as indicated on her name tag, slowed her steps and gave a faint smile.
If not for that suspicious incident in the elevator, that smile probably would have given me the first impression of a "kind team leader."
But knowing the probability that she was a witch was converging on 100 percent...
Whenever our eyes met now, I just felt an inexplicable unease.
You know those people who are fully aware of their own beauty and know exactly how to use it to their advantage?
I might be overthinking it, but that's the vibe I was getting right now.
"Well, since we're here, why don't we start with proper introductions?"
"I'm Nam Dowon. Please take care of me from now on."
"I'm Eve. Eve Lycaon. You probably already knew that, Dowon."
"Pardon?"
"My name tag right here in front of my chest. Didn't you sneak a few peeks at it in the elevator?"
"......Ah, the name tag. Yes. I glanced at it because it was there."
"You stared right through to my chest, though."
"......"
...And already throwing such an embarrassing question my way.
It seemed she enjoyed teasing others, especially her juniors.
"They're not that big, but not small either, so men tend to look a lot. Especially vigorous young men like you, Dowon."
"...Sorry."
"Huh? Oh, I didn't mean it in a bad way. Personally, I like people who can't hide their desires well. That little action of yours is actually a plus."
"......"
"Hmm, I mean that sincerely, not as a joke."
"...I'll keep that firmly in mind, at least."
"Good."
It was hard to believe it was sincere when we hadn't even known each other for 10 minutes yet.
Plus, sneaking glances at a woman's chest could be considered a crime depending on the situation.
Even if she called it a plus factor, there was no way I could take it at face value.
But I couldn't say that outright, so after hiding my awkward feelings and playing along with my superior for a bit...
She cleared her throat lightly and picked up where she'd left off.
"When you first heard 'Apprentice Witch Rehabilitation Support Department,' Dowon, what did you think it was?"
I remembered it clearly.
I'd thought it was something like asking civil servants to scold apprentice witches going through puberty instead.
But it wasn't easy to voice such blatant criticism in front of an actual witch, so I was about to give a boring answer like "supporting the rehabilitation of apprentice witches" when...
"Did you think it was a department that helps coax sulky apprentice witches out of their rooms when they've locked themselves away from their masters?"
"......Yes."
She'd asked exactly what was in my head.
In the end, instead of racking my brain unnecessarily, I had no choice but to answer honestly.
Mind-reading magic... wouldn't be strange if it existed.
Plus, what she'd said earlier about liking people who don't hide their desires seemed connected to telling me to just be honest.
Better to be upfront than get caught in a lie.
...Though I had no idea what that "coax" bit meant.
"Can't be helped. Everyone who comes here seems to think the same."
"You mean the previous people who worked here?"
"Exactly. The ones before you, Dowon."
"Ah.... ......?"
Seniors, got it.
That vague reaction was followed by one question.
"You said 'who were here'—does that mean... now...?"
"No one's here."
"......"
"...Pfft."
I didn't have a mirror, but I must have made a pretty funny face.
My first thought was, "Did they really all die?" No helping it.
Seeing my expression, the team leader laughed out loud for the first time—softly—and added briefly as she turned the corner.
"It's too hard to find talent suited for our department, but when they quit, they do it too fast. Usually, it's just me guarding the office lonely, or barely one person like you right now."
No talent, high turnover.
I got the gist.
It wasn't just babysitting bratty kids; the ones we dealt with were apprentice witches, after all.
There were probably plenty of twists starting with "How dare a mere human!"
Even at community centers, tons quit over headaches starting with "How dare a mere civil servant!"
Thinking that way, it didn't seem so special.
"Because the role of the Rehabilitation Support Department is quite different from what you imagined, Dowon."
"......?"
But ignoring my solemn mood, she started correcting my misconception first.
"Let me see... Including what you mentioned, it's a broader concept? Sure, there are apprentice witches sulking in their rooms from their masters somewhere, but our focus is on 'apprentice witches who refuse to hunt monsters.'"
"Aha..."
To be honest.
I nodded like I understood, but I really didn't get it at all.
It was great that witches hunted monsters without special compensation, but what was the problem with them choosing not to?
It was like...
A friend who always did my homework for me suddenly declares, "I'm not doing your homework anymore!" and their parents scold them instead...?
"It's unrelated to humans, but hunting monsters greatly aids witches' magical growth. Not just combat experience, but the special materials from dismantling them too."
That weird, complicated feeling cleared up with her added explanation.
Monsters were creatures that ate humans, but also training grounds for witches.
And those special materials probably meant they could sell them to other witches for money.
So witches needed to urge their apprentices to hunt monsters actively.
"...But, Team Leader."
"Yes."
One curiosity resolved, but doubts remained.
"Why have civil servants—no, humans—handle that role?"
"Hmm?"
"I mean... If they won't even listen to their masters, would they listen to humans?"
Shouldn't you witches just handle it among yourselves?
Why bring in human support?
"Right? Of course they won't listen to civil servants. Especially apprentice witches—they're young and steeped in superiority, looking down on humans. That's the main reason for the high turnover."
"Then why keep hiring ordinary humans like me?"
"Hmm... First, I should explain why apprentice witches refuse to hunt monsters."
Even the team leader admitted haughty apprentices would ignore humans.
As various info mixed, my questions only grew, and we'd arrived at the "Apprentice Witch Rehabilitation Support Department" plaque.
Compared to other departments we'd passed, the entrance was tiny.
Inside, as expected, it was spartan.
Clean like the hallway, but hardly an office.
Just four desks.
Of which only the team leader's and mine were in use.
...It felt more like a school clubroom than an office.
The team leader settled into the chair by the window, steepled her hands slightly, and began.
"Sometimes, witches terrified of monsters hole up researching to advance without hunting. They're one type we handle, but we don't really need your help for them, Dowon."
"...Yes."
"Sometimes, they research magic unrelated to combat and avoid monsters. Those we can ignore. We rarely get requests for them anyway."
"Got it."
"Finally, the case where someone like you—a 'sturdy, decent' human man—is very, very, very needed... Um..."
Her hands clasped tighter until palms touched.
"Occasionally, there's an apprentice witch who refuses to hunt monsters because she hates using mana."
She said that, then gestured for me to sit instead of standing.
A chair slid over smoothly—telekinesis-like magic, apparently.
...Without even a chant I could hear.
As expected, but witch confirmed.
"More precisely, because she hates 'replenishing' after using it."
"Replenishing..."
"You don't know much about mana, right? Probably just think of it as the power to cast magic."
"...Honestly, everything I know is from fiction."
Witches' mana was a common trope in games.
Many were detailed, so I knew the basics.
Not enough to blab in front of a real witch, though.
"Hmm... Skipping the hard stuff, simply put, it's a problem with the mana recovery mechanism."
"......"
"Mana can recover naturally with rest, or be supplemented with something else. Got that far?"
"Yes. Understood."
"But natural recovery is too slow and inefficient, so as magical achievement grows, they usually supplement with something else, right?"
Unknown territory now.
I'd chugged potions or clicked mana bars in games, so I listened closely.
"That 'something' is, simply put, semen from men."
"...Pardon?"
Thinking I'd misheard.
I tilted my head slightly.
"Most don't mind providing it. 'It's for research, so whatever' is common. Or 'it feels good anyway, so why not?' That's me, by the way."
No atmosphere for corrections.
Just awkward jokes.
And the follow-up fit the "semen" topic too well.
"But it's not what new apprentices hear right away, so around sex ed time, many freak out. They've lived surrounded by women, so this hits weird. Like going from girls' kindergarten to girls' high school in the human world. Right?"
...The serious, detailed explanation didn't feel like teasing.
"So occasionally, apprentice witches hate this 'replenishing' step and avoid using mana."
"......"
"The monster-fearers still have sex fine, so these are the real headaches. They hole up, but research stalls since they avoid heavy mana use."
Her gaze swept me top to bottom.
Face.
Body.
...Passed a very concerning spot,
To legs.
After that appraisingly slow scan, what she said was...
At a loss for words, I'd call it absurd.
"About 70 percent of the apprentices you'll handle here, Dowon, are that type."
"So in summary, the reason I'm assigned here is..."
"Yes. Just persuade the ones I point out and implant the idea that 'sex feels good.'"
"......"
"Then they'll hunt monsters on their own and replenish mana with something pleasurable. Simple, right?"
And I'm a civil servant, no less.
That explained the high quit rate too.
More or less.