Just Don't Hate Me
Why say that...? …………… Kang Haneul had requested it from the Association time and again. She wanted to see Moon Yujin. She demanded his current whereabouts. But the Association's response was crystal clear.
"We're sorry. We cannot provide the victim's personal information to the perpetrator."
"Even EX-rank Awakeners are no exception, and in your case, Ms. Kang Haneul, as the perpetrator in this incident, it's especially impossible."
Perpetrator. The word hammered into her chest like a spike.
……Yeah. I'm the perpetrator.
The floor where Kang Haneul collapsed was ice-cold. She drew up her knees, rested her arms on them, and buried her face. "Yujin-ah…… I'm sorry." Her voice leaked out. An apology to the empty air no one would hear. "I'm really sorry. I went too far. I didn't know it would end up like that……."
Kang Haneul cut herself off without realizing it. Didn't know it would end up like that? A lie. She had known, deep down. When she swung her leg, she instinctively knew what would happen to Moon Yujin. She knew his bones would shatter and his flesh would tear. And yet she did it. Kicked him. Right in the leg.
"……Come back." She knew it was impossible. Why would Moon Yujin ever come back? To the bitch who smashed his leg. To the bitch who couldn't control her rage and lashed out with violence. But those were the only words Kang Haneul could muster. "Please come back."
Meaningless words. Moon Yujin wasn't here. She didn't even know where he was. He was somewhere else. Missing one leg. Carrying the disability she had inflicted.
Now Kang Haneul was alone. She had made herself an outcast. The past couldn't be undone. She turned her head, and the view outside the window came into sight. Seoul's nightscape. Buildings glittering against the night sky, car lights, people's lives. Moon Yujin was out there somewhere under those lights. Alone, without one leg, hating Kang Haneul.
"Yujin-ah, me……." Her words stuck. She couldn't beg for forgiveness. She didn't deserve it. She couldn't ask him to come back. She had no right. So what could she pray for? Kang Haneul knew.
"……Just don't hate me."
That was all she could hope for. As Seoul's nightscape blurred in her teary vision, Kang Haneul closed her eyes. Tears streamed down her cheeks.
……………
Morning sunlight filtered through the window. I got out of bed, finished washing up, and headed to the closet. Inside hung the clothes Baek Sehee had prepared: a white suit. Shirt, jacket, slacks—the whole set. It was a color scheme very similar to the white suits she always wore. A perfect match.
I picked it up. The fabric was nicer than expected. Probably expensive. I put on the shirt, the slacks, then the jacket. In the mirror—
I look like a butler.
Butler sounded mature and cool. But unfortunately, no. Even to my own eyes, it leaned more toward cute. Still, the fit was good. She hadn't even taken me to a tailor; Baek Sehee had measured my body precisely and ordered it custom.
I checked myself in the mirror. Moon Yujin in a suit. Left leg fine, right leg prosthetic. Thanks to the long pants, it wasn't obvious unless you stared. Not perfectly hidden, though.
This is…… not bad.
When I stepped into the living room, Baek Sehee was already ready and waiting. "Yujin-ssi, it suits you well."
"Thank you."
"Shall we head out?"
Baek Sehee grabbed the car keys. We rode in her car to the Awakener Association HQ. Seoul's streets flowed by outside. Morning rush hour, so traffic was heavy.
To think I'd return to the Awakener Association HQ like this.
I'd thought I'd never come back. When I quit as Kang Haneul's manager—more precisely, when she smashed my leg—I figured that was the end of my ties to the Association.
Now I was back as Baek Sehee's manager. Something I couldn't have imagined.
……You see all kinds of things when you live long enough.
Moon Yujin was only twenty-two, but still. Compared to my days as Kang Haneul's manager, I'd lost a leg, but things had improved too. First off, my contract with Kang Haneul had basically been slavery. Now it was fair. Baek Sehee had it legally reviewed, and I pored over every sentence and word myself. At least to me, the current contract looked perfectly equitable.
And Baek Sehee…… was probably a good person.
Yeah, a good person.
We'd only known each other less than three months, so it wasn't absolute certainty. But considering her actions so far, the odds were high. She'd saved my life, cared for me during recovery, even created a job for me.
Of course, there were odd things. Like…… she kept wanting me close by. She seemed upset the first time I put on the prosthetic. But that was understandable. No one's perfect.
Living with her, I'd instinctively realized something else. Baek Sehee liked me. Not just pitying me and helping out. Maybe closer to obsession. Like wanting to sleep together every night. Or holding me every time phantom pains hit. Or ignoring personal privacy to care for me.
But it wasn't bad obsession. She cared for me, looked after me, helped me. Kang Haneul's had been violent and exclusionary. Baek Sehee's was…… gentle and kind.
In that case……
I might pass the three goddesses' trials. If I nurtured things with Baek Sehee right, I could get a happy ending.
Choi Seori, Kim Bom, Kang Haneul. Baek Sehee was different. Her obsession wasn't extreme, she didn't doubt or restrain me with violence. Rational and good. Maybe…… this time I could overcome the trial.
……………
Awakener Association HQ. We parked in the underground lot and took the elevator, pressing the button for the basement levels. Baek Sehee spoke. "We're going to the training grounds today."
The elevator stopped, and she stepped out first. I followed. "Yujin-ssi."
As we walked the hall, she paused and turned to me. "Yes?"
"You probably won't have much to do. Just follow me around."
"Ah, yes. Got it."
Just follow her. No real tasks.
Part of the job, I guess.
I didn't care what it was. Having a job at all was a blessing now.
Baek Sehee walked on, and I followed. At the hall's end stood the training ground entrance. Inside was massive. High ceiling, huge area—like three gyms combined. Awakeners moved about everywhere. Including members of the Dimensional Gate Special Response Team that Baek Sehee led.
She headed deeper in. "Everyone!"
Baek Sehee raised her hand, calling her team. Trainees paused one by one, looking our way. Soon about ten gathered. All team members.
"Let me introduce my new manager, who'll be working with us starting today." She pointed at me. "This is Moon Yujin-ssi."
"Hello." I bowed to the Awakeners before her. "I'm Moon Yujin. Please take care of me."
And—Baek Sehee added, "Oh, and Yujin-ssi, my manager, has a leg disability and wears a prosthetic. So I'd appreciate your consideration."
……What?
My mind blanked white for a second.
Why say that? Was it necessary?
Their eyes locked on my right leg. Long pants hid it mostly, but close inspection would reveal the unnatural movement.
"………."
My face burned. The mood turned awkward instantly. The team members all looked unsure how to react.
"Alright, back to training, everyone." Baek Sehee waved them off. They dispersed, resuming their routines. But whispers drifted from not far away.
The voices were soft, but clear. Maybe they meant for me to hear.
My chest tightened. Baek Sehee must have heard too. She was an Awakener—her hearing far surpassed a normal person's. But she said nothing. No scolding the team.
I glanced at her. She was instructing some team members who approached with business. But—strangely, the corner of her mouth was slightly upturned.
……?
A trick of the light? It was so subtle, it could pass as a natural smile. But…… it felt like satisfaction. Like enjoying this moment—me hearing gossip about my disability and feeling downcast.
……No way.
I shook my head. Just imagination. Victim mentality.
While I brooded, Baek Sehee finished briefing her team. The members returned to training. And I stood there, rooted in place.
Disability. Right. I was disabled. No knee on my right leg below it. People assume disability means incompetence. So I had to prove otherwise. That even disabled, I wouldn't fall behind. That I could work. That I had value.
For life.
Breath caught in my throat.
"Yujin-ssi."
Then Baek Sehee approached.