Beyond the Door (2)
The child who had been chattering nonstop while looking at me followed me around like a little duckling.
“Where are your parents, sweetie?”
I asked where her parents were and glanced around, but there was no one who seemed to match her age group.
“Daddy went to see the doctor!”
“Hmm… then what about Mommy?”
“Mommy’s not here!”
A chill ran down the back of my neck. Had I said something wrong?
“Uh… um…”
“It’s okay! You’re pretty, so I’ll forgive you!”
“R-right… thank you…”
“Then we’re going together, right?”
Before I knew it, the child had grabbed my hand tightly, her face filled with the kind of familiarity you’d only show someone you’d known for a long time. I hesitated for a moment. It didn’t feel right to leave her alone like this, and I thought it would be better to stay with her until someone came to pick her up.
“…Alright. But if your dad calls for you, you have to go right back, okay?”
When I gave her permission, the child’s eyes sparkled as she smiled. We held hands and headed back to the reception desk together.
“Hello… I found this child wandering around by herself. Are her parents—”
The nurse looked at the child with a familiar expression.
“Ah, it’s Ji-an! She’s our hospital’s little mascot. She comes with her father because she’s not feeling well, but she gets scared in the examination room since she’s so young. The ward nurses usually play with her, but they must be busy today. She probably got bored.”
“I see… but still, it’s dangerous for her to wander around alone…”
When I said that, the nurse gave an awkward smile and swallowed her words. A child this energetic would probably make friends with anyone quickly, but seeing how tightly she held my hand made me even more concerned. I kept holding Ji-an’s hand and picked up a memo pad from the counter.
“If it’s alright, would it be okay if I looked after Ji-an for a while?”
“We’d love that!”
“Then please let her parents know that if they’re looking for her, they can call this number.”
I wrote down my phone number with the pen beside me and handed it to the nurse. She gave me a grateful look and then spoke to Ji-an.
“Thank you so much. Ji-an, you have to be good and listen to this nice lady, okay?”
“Yep! Ji-an is a good girl, so you don’t have to worry!”
I held back a laugh and gently stroked Ji-an’s hair.
“Okay then. Your name’s Ji-an, right? Nice to meet you.”
“Yeah!!”
Ji-an nodded vigorously, as if she had just made a very important promise. The way her head bobbed up and down was so adorable that I couldn’t help but smile. I nodded to the nurse and stepped out of the hospital.
I started walking outside the hospital with Ji-an. The child really never stopped talking. She told me about going to kindergarten, how she cried because her friend was crying, and how she got in trouble with her dad for eating too much chocolate. Even though I had just met her, it felt like I was learning everything about her life. I smiled softly and nodded along as I listened.
“And then! Daddy said—”
As I listened to her stories, a strange, ticklish feeling stirred in one corner of my heart.
“Huff… huff… anyway, what’s your name, pretty lady?”
The child finally paused her endless chatter and asked me a question. I was probably the first person she’d ever learn the name of. I thought for a second before answering.
“Um… I’m Seoyeon.”
“Seoyeon… that’s pretty!!”
“Ji-an is a pretty name too.”
“Then don’t you have a last name?”
“Of course I do. My last name is Seo, and my first name is Yeon.”
“Whoa! That’s so cool! Ji-an’s last name is Seo too! It’s like we’re family!”
At Ji-an’s words, I froze for a moment.
“Pretty lady?”
“…Yeah. It does feel like we’re family.”
I answered that way, but something felt a little strange inside. It had been a long time since the word “family” had come out of my mouth so easily. In the past, family had always been a heavy word, one that came with responsibility. Ji-an must have sensed my unease because she squeezed my hand tighter. While our conversation paused, we had already arrived at the store. Since it was a women’s clothing store, just looking at the outfits displayed outside felt oddly unsettling. Ji-an stared at the clothes with wide eyes, pressing her face right up against the glass window.
“Wow… so pretty! Pretty lady, that dress looks like a princess’s!”
“Y-yeah… I guess so…”
I answered in a daze. When we opened the door and stepped inside, the variety of clothes inside immediately caught my eye. Dresses, blouses, skirts… If this had been the old me, I would have walked right past without a second glance. The thought made me feel like I was committing some kind of crime.
“This one! Wear this one!”
Ji-an was already pointing at a dress and calling me over. I walked over to her side and looked at the outfit. It was a soft lavender color with a slightly flared skirt, and the chest area had delicate lace trim.
Isn’t this… a little too feminine?
While I was thinking, a store employee approached us.
“You have such a nice figure, ma’am. This will look wonderful on you~”
“Pardon…?”
How can she tell when I’m wearing a hospital gown? And more importantly… ma’am?
I was about to say “No, that’s not—” when Ji-an suddenly shouted.
“Mommy! Are you Ji-an’s mommy? Ji-an likes it!”
“W-wait a second… No, that’s not—”
I waved my hands frantically to deny it, but Ji-an was already clinging to my arm.
“She is my mommy! She was my pretty lady earlier, but now she’s my mommy!”
“Ji-an…”
I smiled awkwardly and turned to the employee.
“Ahaha… we’re not actually family. She’s just a child I know, so I’m watching her for a bit…”
“Ah! I see. No wonder you looked so young.”
The employee nodded, but her eyes still held a hint of amusement, like she was thinking, What an interesting father-daughter pair. Just then, the sound of another customer coming out of the fitting room reached us. The employee bowed politely and naturally moved toward that direction. I leaned down toward Ji-an and whispered softly.
“Ji-an, you can’t call me mommy. People will get the wrong idea.”
“But… but… you really feel like a real mommy…”
Ji-an mumbled quietly as she held my hand tightly. The fact that, without me even realizing it, I could feel like a mother—or rather, like family—to someone… it felt warm.
[Rrrrrrr..]
The moment I smiled and looked at the child, I felt a vibration in my pocket. It was an unknown number.
“Hello?”
「Hello, this is Ji-an’s father.」
“Ah! Yes, did the receptionist tell you?”
「Yes, thank you so much. Ji-an doesn’t really like being at the hospital…」
“Oh, it’s no trouble at all. I’ll bring her back to the hospital right away.”
「No, no, that’s alright. I’ll come to you. Where are you right now?」
“Um… we’re at a clothing store called OO near the hospital.”
「Got it. I’ll be there soon.」
While I was on the phone, Ji-an must have been bored because she kept fidgeting with my hand.
“Ji-an, your dad said he’s coming soon, so let’s wait here together, okay?”
“Okay… got it…”
Ji-an answered in a gloomy voice. Did she not want to part ways? Or maybe she just didn’t want to go home?
“Really? Then would you pick out some clothes for me?”
“Really? Then that o—”
“But! No skirts.”
When I asked her to pick something because she looked so upset, her eyes lit up and she immediately pointed at a mini skirt, but I stopped her right away.
“Then… how about that one?”
“Hmm… sure!”
The next outfit Ji-an picked out was a simple printed t-shirt and sweatpants. I took the two items and went into the fitting room. The moment I stepped inside, I ran into a huge problem.
Underwear… what do I do…
That’s right. Up until now… I had been walking around without any underwear. Thankfully the hospital gown was thick enough that it wasn’t noticeable. I stepped back out of the fitting room and looked around. Fortunately, there was a plain pair of underwear. I called the employee over and asked.
“Um… could I… get some underwear…”
“Of course! Just remove the tag and we’ll ring it up at the register!”
Thanks to the employee, my question was answered. I picked up the underwear. Ji-an tilted her head up curiously to see what I had grabbed, then quickly put on a mischievous expression.
“Pretty lady~~ You bought panties!”
“Shh! Ji-an!”
I quickly put my finger to my lips. Luckily there weren’t many customers in the store, so it seemed no one had heard.
“Hehe~”
Ji-an looked at me with an adorable laugh. I smiled lightly and went back into the fitting room with the clothes. Standing in front of the mirror in the fitting room, I had to make another big decision.
It’s been so long since I last did this with my wife…
I held my breath, took off the hospital gown, and quickly put on the underwear.
This feels… like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be doing.
Seeing a woman wearing only underwear in the mirror felt strange. At least I didn’t get a nosebleed or anything…
“…It looks nice.”
After trying on the clothes, I was about to change back into the hospital gown when—
“Pretty lady! Daddy’s here!”
“W-wait a second!”
It was already too late. The door was opening, and when I looked down, Ji-an was grinning brightly at me.
Ah… why didn’t I think to lock the door?
I regretted it, but it was too late. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again. In front of me stood a man who was much taller than my old self and looked like an actor from TV—strikingly handsome.
“Ah… um…”
“Ah… yes… you must be Ji-an’s father…?”
“Yes…”
Maybe it was because this was our first meeting, but neither of us could continue the conversation.
“Daddy! Doesn’t the pretty lady look nice? Isn’t she pretty?”
While we were both feeling awkward, Ji-an jumped in and lightened the mood.
“Yeah… she does.”
“Pretty lady! What about you? Isn’t our daddy cool?”
“Huh? Uh… yeah…”
Ji-an tugged on my hand, urging me to answer, so I reflexively replied.