What I Know and Don't Know, What I Want to Know and Don't Want to Know.
"No way, what era is this? How does something like this even make the news? Look, it's all about disciplining the kids properly for their own good, and then the wife kills the head of the household? They say if the hen crows, the house falls apart. If she kills the man of the house just for a little discipline, who's gonna raise the kids?"
I raised my hand and said, "Teacher, this is class time."
"This is what you need to learn. What's the point of education if you don't even know basic morals like this? Huh? Women should marry well and just raise the kids right. But they can't even do that, so the husband ends up..."
I wanted to just sleep openly, but the morals teacher's grating tone—unique to his kind—kept even sleep at bay.
When class finally ended, Jong-hyuk turned from the seat behind me and said, "That morals class ending is no joke... How do you butt in when he's ranting like that?"
"It was too irritating to listen to."
"You think the dog-morals guy is gonna say anything pleasant? Then it wouldn't be dog-morals... Heh heh heh."
"What's a dog's crime? At least dogs are cute."
Jong-hyuk clutched his stomach laughing at my words, then sobered up. "We're third-years now, so you won't see Dog-Morals again—don't antagonize him. The high school's the same foundation; who knows what'll happen if you go there?"
"I just... think it's impressive."
"What is?"
Kyung-soo appeared from behind Jong-hyuk, organizing his notes, and plopped down on my desk. "I mean you guys—top students despite this crap education, and still sharp thinkers. That's impressive."
"Sometimes you say stuff I can't comprehend, and it makes you seem like an idiot. But I don't hate it, so it's kinda mysterious."
"You too? Same here. Your actions don't make sense, but they don't grate on me. Weird, right?"
"Is Eun-young noona okay?"
"You think? I saw in Dongsin Ilbo last time—they called her a full-on Gangnam ten-pro."
"But would a newspaper print stuff that's not true? She did run away, that's fact."
"Is being a ten-pro wrong? The psychos calling a minor that are the crazy ones."
"Anyway, I was shocked—I didn't even know she'd run away."
"Want me to make it more shocking?"
"What?"
"Do a triple somersault in midair, and the shock'll spin right back."
"Why are you heat-venting alone like this?"
"Someone spray-painted 'murderer's kid' on the Red Brick House wall, smashed a window, and bolted. That guy's been scrubbing paint all night—look at his bloodshot eyes? In this state, even Dog-Morals let my snark slide. Guy's a coward—beat him, and he'll just sic the principal on you."
"That punk's a stone idiot too. But you're no slouch right now. Next is Korean—sleep during class at least."
"It's too unfair."
"What is?"
"It's not just assault on the kid and wife. She survived an attempted murderer. It was self-defense... but they're witch-hunting her like she's some evil hag."
"Yeah, media's one-sided."
"But murder's still murder, right?"
"You think too lightly of domestic violence. That... terror..."
That dark, endless terror... the helplessness so profound that even the beatings felt stable—you can't know without living it. I'd only seen it indirectly, but the fear back then made normal life or other thoughts impossible.
Sensing my darkening expression, Jong-hyuk and Kyung-soo snapped me out of it. "I hate one-sided news rants too. And don't tell anyone this..."
"What?"
"Heard the government's covering up something big, so they're pushing sensational stories to divert attention."
"How do you know that?"
"Me? No clue. Hate it, but... Dad spreads out newspapers and always gripes. Just repeating him. Says they're hyping scandals to hide stuff—don't get swept up, build discernment... No idea what it means. I just said okay."
"So..."
The government knew about the IMF crisis. Stirring up the witch hunt to shift eyes, huh?
"What? I say it and you don't get it, but you do? Spill."
"If someone told you to live life twice, you'd like it?"
"You nuts? Take entrance exams twice? Haven't even hit high school, and Mom's already freaking."
"Middle school's done. High school's till you die—stuck in school. Enjoy now."
After morals, my body gave out—I passed out for real. Woke only at dismissal. Jong-hyuk and Kyung-soo gestured admiration, but worried, offered to carry my bag. I waved it off and headed to pick up Joo-shin.
At each bus stop, I paused to scrutinize the lottery tickets. They stared oddly till Jong-hyuk said, "You never cared before—why lottery suddenly?"
"Good dream."
"First guy ever to skip class sleeping, dream good, then buy lottery."
"If I win, I'll share."
"The prize?"
"I don't even have enough for me..."
"So if you win, big treat once."
"Not that either."
"Picky much?"
"If I win... no point saying now. All talk."
"Buy or let's go. Kid's waiting."
"You care more than me."
"You got siblings, so you don't get it. How bad I wanted a little bro."
"Gotta experience it."
"You're an only child too?"
"Only child... yeah, only."
"What?"
"Dunno. Won't talk, so I don't. But..."
"But what?"
"Forget it, buy quick or go."
"This number please. Front and back."
"Don't sell singles. Buy a line of ten or nothing."
"Then one line per group including this number."
Ignoring their psycho stares, I grabbed Joo-shin and headed home.
"Bro, Jong-hyuk hyung asked if you're okay lately?"
"He did?"
"Yeah, acting weird not just at home but out too?"
"So you? Bro weird?"
"Well, you changed a lot since Dad died."
"You... how'd you know Dad passed?"
"Even elementary kids know what they know. Teacher's loose-lipped too... Mom and you didn't say, so I didn't."
"I like the new you. Dad dying's sad, but before... thought you hated me."
"That's..."
So he knew I hated him... Knowing the pain of baseless hate, yet I was childish... Guilt from past life—dumping him at the orphanage and fleeing—kept my head low. Ignoring it, he chirped brightly, "Turns out you didn't hate me. You're like me."
"Like you how? I'm way bigger even grown."
I ruffled his hair teasingly and headed to wash up.
"Bro, don't push too hard."
Pretending not to hear, I washed, nagged him to, and watched him grudgingly go. Seeing my little bro mature too soon hurt.
"Joo-shin, you can grow slower..."
Mom feel this way too?
Proud yet aching.
"Hey, you crazy bastard!!!"
"What? What's up?"
"This punk... Mmph...!"
Classmates watching our antics curiously lost interest as I clamped Kyung-soo's mouth and dragged him and Jong-hyuk to the incinerator area.
"Kyung-soo's suffocating. Let go."
At Jong-hyuk's words, I released the beet-red, dragged Kyung-soo.
"Thought Grandpa called."
"Your grandpa passed?"
"Nah, alive and kicking."
"Hey!!"
Jong-hyuk mock-tackled the coughing Kyung-soo. Before chat derailed, I cut in. "Right, I won."
"What? For real?"
"What, what?"
"Joo-in bought lottery last time. And the winning numbers..."
"You glanced and remember? You're the scary one."
"Number memory's basic of basics. Exam prepper basics."
"I can't even touch basic's toenail. Win and move? Kyung-soo nearby—sucks if you go."
"Not yet. If move, together."
"Huh?"
"My thought, but don't blab I won. Weirdos swarm, ruins everything."
"Yeah, paper said winners vanish overnight sometimes."
"Don't want that. This weekend, your place—all meet. Bring parents."
"What?"
"Parents why? And my house?"
"Not for outside. You visit Kyung-soo's often. Familiar, safe, good."
"Mom'll love it. Long time no-see Kyung-soo's mom."
"Kyung-soo, tell your mom insurance stuff—prep."
"What? Jong-hyuk's mom handled theirs."
"Not this."
"Huh?"
"She'll know passing it. Till weekend, zip it even if itchy. Bring parents. Weekend best, weekday fine."
"Mom yes, but Dad's busy construction."
"Mom then."
"Dad home weekends. Permission fine."
"But why?"
"Said I'd share winnings."
"Didn't say give. You need too. Just share."
"Yeah. Verbal promise legally binds. Gotta share. But I decide how— that's binding too."
Kyung-soo eyed me disbelievingly. "Legally yes, but unprovable words? No force."
"Three heard, two testify—force."
"Dunno. Don't remember. Use for yourself—you need."
Their greed-free reactions made me chuckle unwittingly.
This is friendship?
"Need your help to use it. So help."
"You say corny, goosebump stuff often."
"Hate it?"
"Not hate, but cringey. Back off. Anyway, tell Mom—dinner with friends' parents this week."
"See me as roast chicken? No sweat, tell Mom."
They shuddered a step back but agreed to help.