PC Bang Reality Check
About five hours later, after additional precise tests, I finally got the results. Normally, you wouldn't get follow-up exams this quickly, but I threw a fit and somehow made it happen. Money really could buy anything, after all.
The doctor said not to expect anything drastically different from the previous results, but I was dead certain something had to be wrong.
Two hours of waiting at the hospital after the tests, and the results finally came in.
"Everything's normal. Completely the same as before."
"You're kidding, right?"
"There's really no problem at all."
"That can't be. This makes no sense!"
"I-I get that it's confusing, like you said, but there really isn't any issue."
"Then why did I completely flop yesterday?!"
The doctor had no answer for that. She seemed to be scrambling for words.
"Well, I don't know much about games, so I can't say much..."
"You got my autograph before."
"That was for my daughter. Anyway, when you're playing games and your skills don't come out, the odds of it being due to some physical problem are low."
"Then what?"
"The most likely guess is this: your skills didn't come out because you haven't adapted to your changed body yet."
"...But you said there's no problem with my body."
"There isn't. But this TS disease fundamentally alters your body's structure—all the way to your brain. So when we say abilities are normal, it's relative to your new body."
The doctor paused again.
"Compared to your previous full health checkup, there are no significant differences. Your muscle strength has definitely decreased, but everything else matches. That said, we can't rule out something undetectable by tests."
"So what am I supposed to do?"
"It's not confirmed yet, so don't worry too mu—"
"Fuck—sorry. But doc, Worlds qualifiers start in January, a little over a month from now. I'm a pro gamer! If I'm stuck like this, I'm really, really screwed. Isn't there some way?"
I felt like I was going insane. What if my body had changed in a way that I just couldn't play like before? It was unimaginable. The thought that I might be stuck in this state forever terrified me to my core.
"My words are just speculation, so don't fixate on it. TS disease isn't completely unstudied. So far, no one's reported physical issues from it. Once you adapt, everything except athletic performance returns to normal—and sometimes even improves. That's my professional opinion: you're just in the adaptation phase."
Her words didn't inspire any confidence in me.
With my mentality already shattered, I had nothing left to say to the doctor. I bolted from the exam room like a coward. Trudging out of the hospital, I felt cold despite my thick puffer jacket. It was December, after all.
"This fucking sucks."
I turned on my phone, which I'd silenced during the tests. Missed calls and texts from the coach and my dad—er, father—piled up. Since when did they care so much?
I ignored most of them and checked the coach's messages. Nothing major—just checking in since I hadn't picked up. I replied that I'd been at the hospital for tests, then shut off the screen.
Something felt off.
They'd told me there wouldn't be any big problems.
Yet here I was. Sure, someone else might brush off a dip in gaming skill, but I'm a pro gamer.
Games were my entire life. I'd bet everything on them. And now it felt like it was all slipping away. I hadn't even lifted the Eld Cup trophy yet. I hadn't beaten Proud. I had so much I wanted to do—play at the top forever, give my fans the best shows.
I'd won a league title already, but it didn't feel like mine. I hadn't truly beaten Proud. Did that count as reaching the peak? No way.
And then we lost the very next major tournament.
It might sound weak coming from someone who cried after losing a final, but my mentality was strong. I never stayed down after one loss.
But that resilience relied on one thing: belief in myself, pride in my skills.
What if that foundation crumbled?
I couldn't stay sane.
In my spiraling panic, I let out a deep sigh and made up my mind.
"Guess I'll hit the PC bang."
Yeah, games first. What else was I gonna do?
~
The reasons to go to a PC bang right now were simple:
1. I need to play games.
2. Home's too far.
3. The dorm's close, but I can't show up like this.
So, PC bang it was.
Luckily, there was one nearby with a glowing sign. Stepping inside felt nostalgic in a new way. I'd lived in places like this back in the day, but not once since going pro.
No part-timer at the desk, huh. Being a weekday afternoon, it wasn't crowded.
I grabbed a seat, hung my jacket on the chair next to me, booted up the PC, then went to pay. The part-timer was there this time. I pulled out my card.
"Excuse me, name's Seo Yeonwoo. Can you add 5,000 won to that seat over there?"
"Use the kiosk, please...?"
Oh, PC bangs have kiosks now? Back when I came, part-timers handled payments manually. Wild.
"Ah, got it."
"W-wait. Want me to do it? I can add it right here."
Suddenly, the part-timer stopped me. He looked a bit tense. Shrugging it off, I handed him the card.
"5,000 won, right?"
"Yeah."
"D-done."
I took the card back from the stuttering guy and returned to my seat.
I launched the game, logging into my smurf account 'Ace' instead of my main 'TSA Dice'.
I'm not an idiot—I knew showing up like this on my main would be a disaster. This smurf hadn't been touched in ages, no one knew it was mine, and it was at Master 0 LP.
Probably demoted to Diamond by now, but perfect for testing my fallen skills.
Yesterday's three losses: first against a one-trick Ninja, then two Grandmaster/Challengers. Even one-tricks have insane champ mastery, so they weren't average Masters.
Still, I shouldn't lose to regular Masters.
I hit queue and waited...
"Um, here—take this."
"Huh?"
The part-timer suddenly handed me a drink.
"On the house."
"Oh, thanks..."
Service? For 5,000 won? I don't remember that perk.
Whatever, free is free. I thanked him and took it. But he lingered.
"You play LoE, right?"
"Uh...?"
"I play too. W-wanna duo sometime...?"
What the hell? Aren't you working? And why me?
Did he figure out I'm Seo Yeonwoo? I panicked for a sec, but no—his face was just flushed. Probably just...
"Sorry."
"Ah, o-okay. Sorry about that."
Horny bastard.
It grossed me out. Getting this kind of stare and reaction from a guy was inevitable now, but it was my first time. Made my gender change hit real. Annoying, but what could I do? He didn't know I used to be a dude.
Still, getting hit on one day after discharge? This face really is killer...
Thankfully, queue popped before I dwelled. Games first.
That's what matters to me.
~
I won handily. No, I absolutely demolished them—it was hard to believe I'd flopped so hard yesterday. Our jungler warded enemy ganks well, but I'd been dominating lane from the start.
Opponent mid was early Master tier—way below yesterday's level.
I picked Astrologer, like my first game yesterday. Enemy went Revolutionary. Good Revolutionaries can survive lane, but only against equals. My Astrologer crushed from level 1, and we won easily.
Yeah, my skill drop was limited. That subtle unease in my hands lingered, but accounting for it, the gap was still huge.
Couldn't call it just "this tier" skill, but at least not low enough for average Masters to compete.
Didn't make it okay, though. Masters don't cut it in pro play—they're just top amateurs.
If this was just adaptation lag...,
I'd force adaptation.
I'd crashed before—doubted myself, got outplayed.
But I always bounced back.
...This time was no different.
I queued again.
And humans don't queue to lose.
~
Come to think of it, some idiots do queue to lose.
Realized it when our top laner racked up 13 deaths.
Anyway, I carried my weight every game and won. Lost one right after hitting Master promos, but that was the intentional troll top.
...Trolls remind me of yesterday.
Not thrilled with just 1-2 man carries, but better than yesterday. Relief.
Sighing, I paused queue for a break. Focus slipped, and ambient noise hit.
"...Whoa, she's in Master promos."
"She's gorgeous. Should I talk to her?"
"With your face?"
...I turned—some high school boys in uniforms whispering, staring. They thought they were quiet, but my hearing's sharp.
I glared. Instead of looking away, they waved.
Pissed, I went to queue again when a friend request popped in the LoE client.
...Who? Unknown nick, not from last game. Smurf has no friends.
Normally ignore, but curiosity won. I'd block if weird.
I turned— one of those high schoolers grinned at me. Psycho? Mood soured; I deleted the friend, blocked, and shut down the PC. Grabbed my jacket and stood.
"Dude, she's leaving 'cause of you."
"How ugly are you to make her run off looking bummed?"
"Nah, not that bummed."
Fuck, creepy as hell.