Even I Wouldn't Grind on Day One
A even for me, I had no intention of holing up in the practice room playing games right from the first day we met. So it was only natural that the four of us who had gathered ended up chatting away like this.
I'd already heard that Phantom was uncomfortable around Crisu, so I'd been worried the atmosphere might turn out worse than expected. Fortunately, it didn't seem that bad.
Maybe they'd loosened up a bit after spending time together? That would be a relief, but if they were just pretending to get along, it could become a problem down the line.
“What’s Ive doing in a situation like this, anyway?”
“Something about meeting Sharpness to talk.”
“What the hell’s wrong with that guy that he’d join a team like this, and what’s wrong that he’s still negotiating?”
I totally agreed with Seo Seohui's question. No matter how I thought about it, this wasn't a team worthy of an Eld Cup quarterfinal top laner. At least not before I joined.
“So when are you moving in, unnie?”
“Within the week. We've only signed the contract so far, but I could start right away, right?”
“What about your streams?”
“Streaming... I don't know yet. I don't want to quit completely.”
“Same here. Once things stabilize, I plan to start streaming again. I even got permission.”
It was great news for Crisu's fans. Pro gaming naturally leads to streaming anyway, but that's more for established first-division players with recognition. Right now, in the second division, it was a bit premature.
Second-division pros don't draw much of an audience even if they stream. Of course, someone like Crisu who was already established wouldn't have that issue, and the front office probably wouldn't care either way.
If anything, they'd encourage it for marketing.
“Gonna be interesting to see how this plays out. Never imagined half the team would be girls.”
“'Gonna be interesting'? We're the same age, you know.”
“Eighteen is ancient.”
“Bullshit.”
Watching Jang Seonho and Crisu banter back and forth wasn't half bad, but I had to correct one thing.
“Don't count me in. I wasn't a girl to begin with.”
“Nobody outside's gonna see it that way.”
“Especially since you're the one who said 'girls can't play games'?”
This bottom duo only synced up perfectly when they were poking at me. At least their chemistry was solid—a bright spot for the team's future.
“We'll definitely grab attention. Fail, though, and it'll be hell.”
But the cheerful chat ended there. Jang Seonho's rumored dissatisfaction and anxiety weren't baseless; he casually brought up the ominous future everyone had been ignoring.
The mood sank immediately. We all knew what kind of judgment and mockery awaited if this team failed.
Even Crisu—and me—couldn't be certain about the team's future, so everyone fell silent for a moment. The first to speak up was Yoo Seung-eun, who'd been listening quietly beside us.
“Seonho.”
“What? It's true.”
He knew his words were tanking morale—Jang Seonho looked a bit deflated—but he bristled back at Yoo Seung-eun, unwilling to let it slide.
“Not arguing. Just... wanna step out for some air?”
“...Okay.”
Thankfully, Jang Seonho wasn't that oblivious and took the lifeline Yoo Seung-eun offered. Yoo Seung-eun was smart and good-natured; he'd handle it fine.
Now it was just me and Crisu left in the practice room. She seemed lost in thought over Jang Seonho's words earlier, staring off into space without even turning her head as she spoke.
“Hey.”
“Yeah?”
“You've been joking about it, but... you actually said 'girls can't play games' yourself. What do you think?”
“About what?”
“Me. Can I make it as a pro?”
...I couldn't give her a confident answer. I didn't fully believe in Crisu's skills myself. But I wasn't dumb enough to say that outright, so I just stayed quiet.
“That's why I'm asking... God, formal speech feels so awkward. Can I switch to casual for a sec?”
“Do what you want.”
“Truth is, I hate support. Honestly, I think I'm better as ADC, and that's what I wanted to go pro with. Makes sense, right? Sure, no proper female pros existed back then, but there were already girl supports, so I figured I'd debut as ADC and shock everyone! But I ended up as support anyway.”
I nodded for now.
“I hate support, and my partner's grumbling all day. I know I'm not some game-changing player either.”
“Well...”
Should I agree here?
“Forget it. Don't placate me. I'm just rambling. Forced to play a role I hate, sidelining my streaming, grinding practice nonstop. Future's uncertain, and even my current partner's doubting me.”
Her situation was undeniably tough.
“That's why I'm asking you. Think I can do it?”
Of course, my honest answer was no. I had zero expectations for Crisu. I just hoped she'd manage the basics.
“You're a girl now, but you used to be a guy.”
But then it hit me. How big was the gap between me and Crisu, really? Strip away careers, and we were pretty similar.
I believed in my potential now and had jumped in prepared for failure—but bracing for failure meant I didn't fully trust myself. Wise, yet foolish.
In that sense, maybe Crisu and I weren't so different.
So I couldn't say no honestly. Nor did I want to lie.
“If you can't believe in something...”
“Huh?”
“Just believe in me. I'll carry us.”
This time, I was the one fooling myself.
“I'm an Elchamps winning mid laner. Second division's nothing.”
“We're second division too.”
“Not for long.”
I'd talked myself into it.
“We'll be the team with the world's strongest mid laner soon enough.”
~
“Ahahaha!”
What the hell? Why was she laughing? Wasn't that supposed to be my super inspiring moment? Shouldn't you be tearing up and thanking me here?
“Why are you laughing?”
“No, you said it so seriously... that kind of thing... ahahaha.”
“Mocking me?”
“Not mocking, it's just... can I say it?”
What the hell was she thinking to drop the formal speech and go like this? If it wasn't mockery, I had no clue—and it might piss me off depending on what came next.
But then,
“Say it.”
“You were cute.”
Has she lost her mind?
“What?”
“Come on, you're cute. Haven't looked in the mirror? The sulky face is a minus, but you're just adorable. Shorter than me too. Hearing someone like that try so hard? Can't help but laugh.”
“Are you insane?”
“Even when we met on stream, your voice was super cute. Total little-sis vibe. Was devastated hearing you're older.”
“Keep talking casual and you're dead.”
“You know that makes you look even cuter?”
“I'm gonna lose it.”
Me trying to comfort this girl, and this is what I get? Most embarrassing moment of my life. No, why'd Yoo Seung-eun take Jang Seonho? If he was smoothing things over, take this one instead.
“Anyway, thanks for the pep talk, unnie. Not mad, right?”
“I am mad, so don't talk to me.”
“You doing it on purpose?”
Seo Seohui giggling and prodding was infuriating. Damn it.
As she teased me and I snapped back in that loop, the door opened again. I thought it was Jang Seonho and Yoo Seung-eun returning, but it was Kim So-cheol the coach who walked in.
“Coach?”
“Hey, Seohui. Just you two?”
“Oppa and Jang Seonho stepped out for a bit.”
“Well... the business is with Yeonwoo anyway.”
“Me?”
“Got something to say. Wanna come with?”
“Sure.”
The coach singling me out felt off. What could he possibly need to discuss just with me? No clue, but I followed him anyway.
My new coach seemed impatient; he started explaining on the way.
“It's about the top laner. You heard about Sharpness?”
“Yeah, negotiations ongoing.”
“Mm, bit tricky to share with others. Can't spill contract details or conditions.”
“Obviously. What's up?”
“Talks are kinda stalled.”
We arrived at the office where we'd talked before and sat down again.
“If the demands are ridiculous, just reject. It's an absurd signing to begin with.”
Of course, Sharpness joining would be amazing—way better than some randoms—but we were a second-division team. Absurd salary or not, it was beyond our means.
I knew that much about reality.
But the Sharpness situation was... different. Very different from what I'd thought.
“It's not about raising salary.”
“Huh?”
“He took a pay cut. Still high, but front office can consider it.”
“Then what's the issue?”
“I don't want him.”
What?
“You joking?”
“Dead serious. Never considered Sharpness from the start. Had a few amateur tops in mind. One got scratched after scouting, one didn't want pro, left with one.”
“You're passing on Sharpness for an amateur? Crazy?”
“That's right. To win games, you need neither a sturdy shield nor a sharp sword in top. Sharpness is trapped in his own playstyle. He's a solid shield, no denying, but not enough.”
“So what do you want?”
“A sturdy sword. A sharp shield.”
...Nonsense. Theoretically sound maybe, but games aren't that simple.
Still, I kinda got what he meant.
“To win games... meaning.”
“Yeah.”
“For Worlds victory.”
“Exactly.”
So that's why negotiations were stuck. Sharpness wouldn't drop his pursuit of this team.
Opposite of what I'd thought.
But rejecting Sharpness was still baffling. If the best option's right there, grab it—no hesitation. Second division couldn't complain.
“No guarantee this lineup lasts. He cut pay; take him, win second division, then recruit anew in first?”
“Reasonable. Thought that at first too. But isn't it weird? Top top-laner cutting pay to join second division.”
“Well... yeah, but.”
“Something's off. He's hiding something.”
“Evidence?”
“My gut.”
This guy's no ordinary madman. Betting everything on pure instinct, no evidence. Not that I could talk—I joined on his vibe—but this was beyond common sense.
“Wait, does front office know?”
“I handle negotiations with manager Yoo. He listens to me.”
...They didn't.
“Still, feels wrong. No guarantee your amateur top succeeds.”
Coach's current ADC was relegation causer Phantom Jang Seonho, mid was washed-up me. We'd proven nothing yet; gambling on top too was massive risk.
“Fair. But I believe. And you might think the same.”
“Why? What proof?”
“You'll see. The potential.”
“Potential isn't certainty. Who's this amateur you're so sure of?”
Should've realized sooner.
Why drag me—not manager Yoo Seung-eun—into top laner talk, asking for input.
What he needed from me.
“Aranggaiger.”
Now I got it.