'Calmed Down Yet?' '...Yeah.'
"Feeling better now?"
"...Yeah."
It was March, that time of year when some people still felt a slight chill in the air. Somehow, Yuseung had gotten his hands on a warm canned coffee and brought it over to me.
After my meltdown right in the middle of the street, we'd walked pretty far to find a decent bench. He'd sat me down, waited for me to calm a bit, then stepped away briefly—must've grabbed the coffee then.
"...Can I take off the sunglasses?"
"Who's gonna recognize you anyway? Like you said, I might've overreacted from the start."
Why bother taking them off, though? Sure, he said that, but there was still risk involved. Still, locking eyes and talking did help settle my nerves, so I didn't push the sunglasses issue.
Holding the warm can like a hand warmer, all sorts of thoughts swirled through my head. Amid the tangle of emotions, the biggest one dominating my mind right now was this:
I'm so fucking embarrassed I could die...
Even if I'd bawled my eyes out alone, it would've been mortifying enough to not show my face for ten years in front of Yuseung. But no—I'd thrown that tantrum smack in the middle of the street, with everyone around staring at us.
...No one overheard, right? If they did, god knows what kind of crazy bitch they'd call me. Not like I'd ever know, so no point stressing over it.
Haah. After rolling it around in my hands so long, the coffee had cooled a bit. I popped the tab and took a sip—still a touch hot, but drinkable.
Yuseung spoke up again, watching me.
"Not too hot?"
"It's cooled plenty."
And then silence again.
Well, what was there even to say? I had nothing thanks to the embarrassment, and Yuseung was just being considerate, holding back. What a solid guy.
...Still, honestly, I was grateful.
Honestly, what he'd said meant a lot.
He probably didn't mean it for real. Just nice words to calm me down and comfort me in the moment.
But they helped. Hell, they even made my heart flutter a little.
No, no—not like that. Nothing rational or romantic.
But right then... just for a moment, I really thought I could do it.
That alone made his words precious to me.
Yeah, I'd been in rough shape earlier. Was it because I'd become a woman? I felt emotionally unstable, and it'd all burst out again.
But after letting it all pour out, my heart felt way lighter than before. Maybe this was actually a good thing.
"Thanks."
"For what."
"For saying that."
Thanks to him, even if just briefly, I could dream again.
"It was probably just something you threw out there, but... it helped anyway."
"What're you talking about? It wasn't just some offhand thing."
"Huh? That bit about going pro again..."
"Wasn't offhand."
Huh?
"You joking right now?"
"No joke. I meant it seriously."
"Seriously telling me to go pro again?"
"Dead serious."
...I was a little thrown. What kind of prank was this guy pulling?
"Quit messing around."
"Not messing. And the part about joining our team? Serious too."
"How the hell could I go pro now?"
"What's stopping you?"
...What isn't? Reasons it wouldn't work? I'd fill a book.
"I can't."
"Real talk? Challenger League is full of guys worse than you. Early on, when you were struggling in Master, maybe—but you're not that bad now."
"...But I'm just Grandmaster."
"The top laner who turned our team into a horror show? Solo queue rank 10."
...Ah, so that's how they managed a transfer to another league.
"Digging holes in the ground like that from the start? Not like you. You're no washed-up midlaner without a shot. Your mechanics swing wild, sure, but plenty of players have that high-low variance. Aranggaiger? You did well against her lately. And above all, your macro's still sharp. Good vision, or whatever."
"...Is this 'cause you matched with me once and lost? Pure luck."
"Well said. Yeah, you got lucky."
Luck's the most important thing—and you just admitted it.
Or so Yuseung said.
"I see potential in you. Hell, I'd been thinking about it even before you brought up quitting."
"Thinking what?"
"Asking you to join our team."
Me?
"But I wasn't sure if you even wanted to go pro, so I held off. Was on the fence."
"...Why?"
"You kept saying you were done with pros, but your face, your actions? Didn't match."
Did they... not?
"You bailed on your team 'cause you hated being a billboard, right? So why stream?"
Well...
"You wanted eyes on you, didn't you? Wanted another pro offer."
Was that—
"Your streaming angle's still undecided too. Reveal who you are? Or pretend to be someone else?"
it?
Tears pricked my eyes again. Not from sadness—from how his words rang so true.
"So I waited. For you to be honest."
"For us to run one more miracle together, same team?"
Right then, my heart was even pounding a little. His words felt like they were opening a path—like he was saying this was the right way.
But Yuseung doused me with cold water right after.
"Not that far."
"What?"
"Straight talk: Joining us now, pushing to first division, hitting Worlds, winning it all? Insane."
Unbelievable.
"You making fun of me?"
"That's why I hesitated asking you. Our team's too weak. Salary'd suck too."
"Then why even bring it up?"
I could've burst into aggrieved tears right there. But Yuseung—
"Can't deliver you to Proud on a platter, but I can open a door."
"... ."
"I'll show you the path. Grab my hand."
He was... something else.
"You..."
Yuseung, you—
"Why... why do you have to be so..."
"So?"
"cool about it..."
A little.
Damn cool.
I didn't laugh. Wasn't mocking him.
I meant it. His words were genuinely cool, and I was grateful. That's why, to hide my flushed face and embarrassment, I had to say it like that.
His words had gotten to me. A little.
"But can I just waltz in? What's the deal with E Revolution now? Still short a full roster?"
"Yup."
"Short?"
"Support's filled, mid's open, top's in talks, ADC's..."
"ADC's not signed already?"
"ADC's striking."
Huh?
"What the hell?"
"Support drama. That's why I hesitated recommending you."
"Who's the support making waves?"
"Crisu."
...Did my ears break from all the crying? I swear I heard a name I shouldn't have.
"Must've busted my ears crying too hard."
"You heard right. Crisu's our support."
"Why?!"
I couldn't wrap my head around it, but it hit me—Crisu hadn't streamed lately. Yeah, that lined up with E Revolution's recruitment push.
"We had other support applicants. But it's second division recruitment. Bottom team. No real talent pool."
"So they picked Crisu? Nah, outside our duo, she always flexed support second pick. Main's ADC. Hates support."
"Tried her for ADC—bombed, obviously. Phantom was already in talks, and she's no better."
"...But better than the other support apps?"
"Yep."
Yuseung let out a heavy sigh.
"Fair test, picked on skill—no complaints there. But Phantom's not taking it easy. Crisu's pissed at him too."
Wouldn't wanna say the ADC who tanked relegation's just bloated... Results aside, I'd feel the same as Phantom. ADC-support duo needs chemistry; they're practically one unit.
"Really skill-based pick?"
"Yeah. Front office isn't pure, though. Marketing had to factor in. Sponsors aren't idiots."
Fair point. Where's team funding come from? Sponsors. Sponsors want ads.
If ad value's solid—even without first-division promotion—sponsorship sticks. Star player who's a girl, cute high schooler? Jackpot ads.
"They're both signed anyway, so it's just whining. Kids being kids. Tricky."
"You want me to join that mess?"
"No other way, right?"
...True. Retired with trashed mechanics, barely scraping Grandmaster. Even revealing I'm Dice? Offers ain't guaranteed. Spring season just ended—tougher now.
Ignore salary: Not appealing. Woman now, not young prospect, skills iffy.
To land a spot like this? Desperate team missing mid, or...
"One obsessed with marketing."
"Not obsessed, but yeah."
Right. I wasn't prime meat. But I had massive value.
I'm Dice. And a TS disease patient. Global rarity. Pretty, cute face, decent figure—not bragging.
"Not embarrassed?"
"Shut up."
Me returning to pro? Marketing boom unimaginable.
...Maybe too optimistic, but no slouch value.
Laughter bubbled up. I'd bolted my team hating clown duty over gladiator. Now? Gladiator via clown act.
My wavering heart? Steady long ago.
"So, what'll you do?"
"Obvious."
Yuseung grinned.
"Roster ain't even full."
So I smirked back,
"They'll milk me for marketing hard,"
lifting my lips.
"ADC's the relegation guy, support's a girl,"
"So are you, now."
"Shut up."
Even his jabs felt fun now.
"Salary's peanuts,"
Well, had to be.
"And last season? Eighth place."
"Yup."
Worst dumpster fire team imaginable.
"You just couldn't snag a real mid, so begging me for help, huh?"
"Busted?"
Jungler's a total bastard too.
"Me? On this team?"
"Yeah."
"Seriously..."
Of course, to me, it was
"I can't find a single reason not to join!"
the best damn team.
Ep2. Common Sense Exists to Be Broken
The End