Am I Fucked?

I was backed into a dead-end alley.

"Hey. You better pray you don't die today, you little shit."

The senior was red in the face, snarling like he was about to grab me by the collar any second. His murderous aura made my legs tremble, but the overwhelming sense of injustice won out over the fear.

Pressed flat against the concrete wall, I shouted back with pure rage.

"What the hell?! This is bullshit! What the fuck did I even do wrong?! You're the one who got wasted and started hitting on my female friend first! And it wasn't even me who smashed your jaw—that was Jinwoo! Did I lay a hand on you?!"

Still panting, I jabbed a finger at the two burly guys flanking him.

"And you two! What, are you his fucking goons?! Just doing whatever this idiot tells you? You morons! You come into someone else's neighborhood, beat people up, and now you all wanna get locked up together for assault?!"

My mouth kept firing off like a machine gun, but my right hand was frantically busy inside the pocket of my jacket.

Pick up, pick up, please, anyone pick up!

Without looking, I fumbled across the phone screen by feel alone, mashing random speed-dial buttons. Praying desperately that 112, Seola, or Jinwoo—anyone—would answer.

Trriiiing— Click!

Oh, someone picked up!

"……?"

A cheerful, all-too-familiar jingle blared from inside my pocket, echoing loudly through the alley.

The senior and his crew froze mid-punch, staring at me with dumbfounded expressions. I broke out in a cold sweat, internally screaming in horror.

What the—?! I don't even own a car or have a license! Why the hell is a designated driver service saved as a speed dial on my phone?!

"This son of a bitch is messing with us!"

"W-wait, hold on, just a second!"

As the senior lunged forward in fury, I panicked and frantically hit the end-call button, then desperately mashed a different speed-dial key.

Again, again—please, let someone actually answer this time!

Trrrring— Click!

Connected! This time for sure!

"……???"

What poured out of the speaker and filled the alley wasn't a savior's voice, but an obscenely sticky, wet moan.

I'd been so flustered that I'd cranked the volume all the way up, so everyone in the alley got to hear the raw audio live.

The first voice was some unknown guy, slurred and dripping with pleasure. Then came a woman's breathless voice announcing the call, followed by a man's irritated, ragged breathing.

Three completely different voices. It was impossible to even imagine what kind of chaotic orgy was happening on the other end of the line.

"……."

"……."

The senior, who had been radiating pure murder intent to beat me to death, the guys who had been cracking their knuckles, and even me with my hand still in my pocket—we all froze solid.

The four men in that narrow, dark alley were completely petrified by the live broadcast of a three-person play(?) coming from the phone speaker.

What…… the hell is this? Whose speed dial even is this……?

"T-time out!"

With shaking hands, I yanked the phone out of my pocket and checked the screen. The moment I saw the contact name, I couldn't believe my eyes.

[Call in progress: Jinwoo]

It was that exact Jinwoo bastard.

"Uh……."

From the speakerphone, Jinwoo's lazy, annoyed voice drifted out once more.

"W-wait!!!! Hey, help m—!"

Click—

My desperate cry for rescue was brutally cut off.

A heavy silence settled over the dark alley once again. I stared blankly at the now-dark screen, lost in thought.

……Yeonwoo? That pretty boy who's always hanging around Jinwoo? Then who the hell is Eunji? Don't tell me right now it's two guys and one girl……?!

The shock of accidentally witnessing my friend's unbelievably depraved private life, combined with the despair of losing my only lifeline, hit me all at once.

Strength completely drained from my body. I shoved the phone back into my pocket, leaned against the concrete wall, and closed my eyes in resignation.

"Haa…… Fine. Just hit me. Get it over with."

I was already sick with a cold that felt like it might kill me, and now there was no relief pitcher in sight. This was do-or-die.

The moment I slumped my shoulders and offered up my neck, the senior puffed up again, jutting his chin arrogantly and jerking his head at the guys beside him.

"Hey. Mess him up."

But then—

"……Nah, I'm good."

One of the big guys standing right behind the senior scratched the back of his head and spat out, clearly pissed ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠off.

"Huh……? Hyung-nim?"

"The mood's completely ruined. Handle your own shit."

"……What? Wait, hold on……."

When the flustered senior turned around, the big guy furrowed his brow and snarled viciously at him.

"I said handle your own shit, you dumbass. I thought you had some gangster backup or something, but you're fucking nothing. Solve your friend's problems yourself. You kept whining about getting your ass kicked so bad I thought they were some big shots, but look at this."

"N-no, that's not what I—"

"And what, are we gangsters now? You pathetic fuck. I just bought you a few drinks and tagged along, and now you're acting all tough and throwing a tantrum."

Smack—!!

"Aagh!"

The big guy's massive palm slapped the senior across the back of the head with a loud, satisfying crack.

The senior, whose jaw was apparently made of glass, staggered forward from the single blow.

"Do whatever the hell ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠want. Hey, let's go. Just leave him."

"Ugh, seriously. We had the whole table set up and everything. What a waste."

"Dumbass. Tsk."

The guys who had just been filling the alley with killing intent clicked their tongues in utter disinterest and casually strolled out of the alley without a backward glance.

In the blink of an eye, a complete reversal had taken place. The senior just stood there clutching the back of his head, staring blankly at his departing crew.

"……."

"……."

In the dark dead-end alley, the reliable backup hyungs had coolly abandoned him. Now only the senior and I remained.

My eyes slowly scanned him up and down.

Let's see here……

I quickly ran the numbers on my own specs in my head.

I was 183cm tall and weighed about 87kg. I'd grown up roaming every inch of the rural mountains, so I had that wild, hardened stamina. On top of that, my consistent running had built serious cardio endurance, and I'd recently started hitting the gym to put on muscle.

(Sure, eating late-night snacks with Seola had softened my abs a bit, but that had only made my overall frame and weight class even more solid.)

On the other hand, the pathetic senior standing in front of me, eyes practically shaking?

Even being generous, he was maybe mid-170s at best. And he was clearly a 'glass jaw' after having it shattered by Jinwoo.

……Wait. Isn't this a total mismatch in my favor?

The moment I realized the objective difference in size and weight, strength surged back into my previously trembling legs like magic. Even the cold symptoms seemed to vanish.

I pushed off the wall, lightly clenched my fists, and took a bold step right up to his face.

"Shuk, shushushuk."

I even made the sound effects for the air whooshing as I threw a few light jabs. The senior—who had been ready to devour me alive—flinched hard, his shoulders jumping.

With his backup gone and me towering over him by a full head, my solid build had completely overwhelmed him.

"What's wrong, Sunbae? Weren't you saying you had something to talk to me about in private?"

The senior, sweating bullets and slowly backing away, finally spun around and put some serious distance between us.

"Y-you son of a bitch!! Consider yourself lucky today! Next time I see you, you're dead! Just wait and see!!!"

In the end, he spat out the classic third-rate villain cliché, then bolted into the darkness without looking back, tail between his legs.

Haa…… I'm…… I'm alive.

Listening to his frantic footsteps fade into the distance, I finally let the tension drain from my body. I leaned against the wall and let out a deep sigh.

Trrrruuu—

Right then, my phone started ringing loudly in my pocket. The caller ID was, of course, Baek Seola.

"Hello……."

"Hey! Where the hell are you?! Why weren't you answering?!"

The sharp voice blasting my eardrum made me pull the phone slightly away as I muttered,

"Hoo…… A lot happened in a very short amount of time……."

"Stop talking nonsense. Hey, the udon just got delivered! Get your ass over here before it gets cold!"

Click—

The call ended without giving me a chance to wallow.

I stared at the ended call screen with a dumbfounded expression. The call log from Jinwoo earlier was still right there.

Even though I accidentally overheard that unimaginable chaotic live broadcast…… in the end, that bastard's call completely killed the mood and saved my life.

It wasn't what he'd intended at all, but somehow one phone call(?) from him had saved my neck.

A strange sense of debt settled over me.

"Hmm…… Well, I guess I did get some help, in a way."

I opened the messenger app and casually sent Jinwoo a 'Starducks' iced Americano gift card as a sincere token of gratitude.

Message: [I'll put the camera to good use. And…… well, fighting on all fronts, man.]

I didn't wait for a reply and just shoved the phone back in my pocket. Now that the tension had faded, my stomach let out a loud growl in fierce protest.

"Tsk. I'm starving. Let's go eat."

I rolled my stiff neck once and, grumbling the whole way, started walking toward Seola, who was probably waiting with my portion of udon already set out. What a ridiculous, action-packed evening stroll.

"Slurp, smack! So I just…… slurp! Clenched my fist and did some shadow boxing—shuk shuk!—and told them, smack, tsk, 'If you wanna try me, come on then.' Chew chew. And those big guys got scared and ran off with their tails between their legs. Slurp! Smack, ugh, I held back so much, seriously."

I greedily slurped down the plump, perfectly cooked udon noodles while dramatically exaggerating the story from the alley like some epic tale of heroism.

I barely managed to swallow the half-chewed radish that nearly flew out of my mouth, all while putting on a brave front. Of course, I completely omitted the part about Jinwoo's 'wild three-person phone call' that had actually saved my life—preserving what little pride I had left by taking that secret to the grave.

Seola, sitting across from me and listening to my story, held a spoon in her mouth and stared at my face with intense, unblinking focus.

"Haa……."

She eventually let out a deep sigh and slowly shook her head.

"Why do you always go around doing things you never normally do? You should've just stuck to your usual route like a good boy. Sigh…… Anyway, that senior guy is seriously pathetic. Doesn't he have any shame? He's a grown adult acting like some neighborhood high-school delinquent thug, throwing his weight around. What a loser."

She was clicking her tongue and poking at her udon with chopsticks when—

Vrrr— Vrrr— Vrrr—

My phone, sitting on the table, started ringing loudly. The caller ID read [Mom].

"Yeah, Mom. What's up?"

"Son~ How have you been lately? We pay all that expensive tuition so you can study hard—"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm at home eating with Seola right now."

Sensing one of her long lectures coming, I quickly cut her off by bringing up Seola. Her tone immediately changed.

"Oh my, with our Seola? How's our Seola doing? Hey, Minjun. You two are living together now, so you better not be acting weird around her. Even though you've been close since you were kids, Seola is a grown woman now. You need to be careful and keep things appropriate. Got it?"

"What the hell does that even mean?!"

The memory of last night—rolling around like animals in heat—flashed through my mind. I reflexively shouted like a guilty thief caught red-handed.

Mom casually ignored my overreaction and lowered her voice to a whisper.

"Oh, right. Hey. Are you two dating?"

"W-what dating?!"

"No~ Seola's mom said the way you two have been acting lately looks exactly like a couple. Hey, if you are dating…… you better make sure to prepare properly! Understand?"

……We're already way past that point, Mom.

"N-no!! We're not!!"

I yelled so loudly the whole house might've heard. Seola, sitting right in front of me, jumped and stared with wide eyes.

"Okay, okay. You'll make me go deaf, you brat. And you're coming down for Chuseok, right?"

The moment Mom changed the subject, a loud clattering noise came from the other end of the line, followed by the familiar, drunken shouts of middle-aged men.

It was Seola's dad, slurring his words in a drunken roar. Our own dad immediately fired back without missing a beat.

It sounded like the two fathers—who lived right next door in our rural hometown and treated each other like brothers—were getting properly hammered somewhere again.

Mom's deep, irritated sigh came through the receiver loud and clear.

"Haa…… Those annoying bastards. They stick together drinking every single day. Tsk."

She ignored the background noise and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠wrapped up her business with me.

"Minjun. Anyway, when you come down for Chuseok, since our houses are right next to each other, take the train down with Seola. It's been a while—let's have both families grill some meat in the yard together."

When I hung up and set the phone down with a complicated expression, Seola, still chewing with a spoon in her mouth, tilted her head.

"Your parents?"

"Yeah. They said we should come down together for Chuseok??"

Seola nodded like it was no big deal.

"Hmm…… Sounds good. We can book train tickets together for the Chuseok holiday."

While Seola accepted it so casually, my mind was spinning like a storm from Mom's earlier warning: 'Make sure you prepare (contraception) properly!'

The memory of last night's sticky, animalistic sex—especially the part where I'd finished inside—made me feel like I could never face our parents with a clear conscience.

"Hmm…… Tsk. I feel like we really shouldn't go……."

I unconsciously frowned and let out a groan. Seola looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"?? Why? What's wrong? Did you fight with your parents? Or do you have to cover someone's shift at the convenience store over the holiday?"

No, I just have a really bad feeling about this. Something……

I couldn't bring myself to say what I was really thinking. I cleared my throat a few times and carefully asked,

"Hey. What do you think of me…… Wait, no. I mean, what do your parents think of me?"

"……."

At my sudden, rambling question, Seola set her spoon down with a clack and gave me a look that screamed pure pity.

"……You definitely got hit hard in the head by those thugs in the alley earlier, didn't you? That's it, right?? Are you feeling okay? Why are you talking nonsense in the middle of eating?"

"I didn't get hit, seriously! I was just asking! Just asking!"

Seola clicked her tongue like she was looking at a poor patient and picked her spoon back up. Faced with her iron wall of defense, I could only scratch the back of my head awkwardly.

"It's not that…… Yeah, let's just go. I guess both our parents are pretty worried since we both moved out to the city and started living on our own the moment we became adults."

"Of course they are. My mom keeps asking if I'm eating properly too. Let's just go show our faces."

Completely oblivious, Seola seemed secretly excited at the thought of going back to our hometown after so long.

Haa…… This Chuseok is going to be nothing but a bed of thorns.

I already felt a headache coming on, but what could I do? I drank the rest of my udon broth, trying my best to ignore the massive ordeal that was our upcoming hometown visit. For now, the priority was recovering from this brutal cold.