Chapter 137
Chapter 137
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter Title: The Fault Lies with the Stars
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"Stop."
A short but clear rejection.
Anis pushed Han U-sol away just as curtly and decisively.
A chill wind, perfectly matching her demeanor, brushed across his cheek.
"You've never once done anything for my sake."
Her voice was utterly cold, and the look in her eyes as she gazed at him seemed detached, as if she'd given up on something.
Han U-sol drew in a sharp breath.
The crisp late-autumn evening air chilled him to the bone.
Was she angry? Disappointed? Self-mocking?
It was hard to guess why she'd suddenly turned serious mid-conversation and said something like that.
"Stop. Let's stop living passively. Don't say things you don't mean just because of your guilt."
For a moment, as he hid his fluster and carefully chose his words inwardly, Anis opened her mouth herself and began explaining kindly.
"It's fine, so you can stop now. I won't resent you or blame you. What I'm saying is, stop pretending to care about me just to ease your guilt."
Pretending. What did that mean?
Everything he'd done and every effort he'd made up until now had been sincere, all for her sake.
He could swear on it—he'd never once pretended to care about Anis out of hypocrisy.
"...What are you talking about, Anis? Believe me. I've never done that."
Han U-sol desperately asserted his innocence.
Even amid that, he was careful not to upset her, which was a bit comical.
Still, it was the honest truth, hand on his heart.
It had to be some unfortunate misunderstanding between them that neither had been aware of.
But Anis's eyes didn't look at Han U-sol.
She turned slightly away, cast her gaze downward, and murmured quietly.
"...Even if you're right, it all comes down to the same thing. The one you want to save is the me from three years ago, and that me back then wasn't the real me. You're obsessed only with the past version of me. What happens to the current me doesn't seem to matter to you."
"...What do you mean?"
"You don't know anything about me. You never even tried to find out."
Her voice, carried on the wind, sank low and heavy.
It felt like the mournful tones of a violin playing a sorrowful melody.
"My soul was engraved with an obsession. An obsession to become a hero and save people."
It was news to him.
He knew demonic energy had been injected into her, but he'd never heard that an obsession had been forcibly carved into her soul—not from Yeriel, nor from Camilla.
"That's why I tried to save them. Even if it meant destroying my body, I volunteered to sacrifice myself. Back then, it felt like I had to. I was proud of myself, felt like I'd accomplished something... But looking back now, it pisses me off to realize I was acting according to someone else's will without even knowing it. I even mull it over in my dreams sometimes."
"......Anis."
"Did I say I liked that part of myself—the desire to save people? Sorry, but that was Anis Harper, shaped by that noble angel's wishes. I'm not as good a person as you think. Not like you. Unlike you, I don't act for strangers, don't want to save them. I'm the selfish type who only cares about myself."
Why hadn't he known?
He'd paid plenty of attention to her, made endless efforts to figure out her condition.
He'd gone to Camilla over and over, grilling her to make sure nothing had been overlooked.
...She'd hidden it.
If she didn't say anything, there was no way for Han U-sol to know, so she'd deliberately kept it secret.
Expecting him to unwittingly touch her sore spot, just like now.
"Go back to 'that me from back then'? No thanks. I don't want to return to being a puppet. Sorry. I'm not the person you were hoping for."
"...I'm sorry. That was a mistake. But please, understand this: I'm not obsessed with the past you."
He'd been complacent. It was a blunder.
But it was too late for self-recrimination now.
All he could do was try even harder to convey that his feelings for her were genuine.
Han U-sol liked Anis.
Three years ago or now.
Even if she was a selfish person who didn't act for others, even if she was a coward afraid of self-sacrifice—that fact wouldn't change.
"You just said you're not as good a person as you think. But I don't care if you're not a good person."
It was true that he liked the her who strove to save people.
But that wasn't the only reason he'd fallen for her.
"And I'm not a good person either. A lot has happened... these past few years."
"......... "
"I'm no hero. I couldn't become one even if I wanted to now. It's been ages since I last risked my life to save someone. The world ended up like this because of me, yet here I am, holing up in a safe spot while letting others die without lifting a finger. Like a coward."
"That's because if you die, the barrier's at risk."
"Yeah, pretty much. But Anis, you're the only one a coward like me would risk his life for."
Looking back, Han U-sol had simply liked everything about Anis.
Things that would annoy him if anyone else did them were just fine when she did them.
Anis had said it herself.
That she was selfish and hated doing things for others.
That all her hero actions had been fake.
Han U-sol shook his head.
It didn't matter.
So what?
He could say it for sure.
Even if that's true, the way I look at you won't change.
All those everyday moments when I fell for you—your chatter, tears, and laughter—they can't all have been fake.
"Anis. Then and now, I'm seeing you as you really are."
"......Really?"
Anis gave a lukewarm response as she stared off into the distance.
He thought he'd spoken from the heart, but the tepid reaction was unavoidable.
After all, he'd badly prodded her trauma, so slick words alone wouldn't earn her trust.
Her gaze, as if lost in thought, wandered the empty air for a long while.
The thickening scent of demonic energy.
And with it, Anis's quiet mutterings to herself increased.
Han U-sol watched her.
Was she hearing voices because negative thoughts were worsening her condition?
As he reached out to calm her, which seemed to be deteriorating, she spoke up.
"Do you remember Ellis, by any chance?"
A familiar name.
It didn't take long to recall who it belonged to.
A fellow trainee hero assigned to the same district as Anis back when she was one.
She'd bullied Anis especially harshly since academy days, so she stuck in his memory.
"...Yeah. I remember."
Back then, while working with Anis, she'd had her neck snapped by Betty and Han's ambush.
Why bring her up out of nowhere?
Before the question could linger,
"Actually, I killed her."
Her following words made him freeze in place.
Anis, who'd been looking far off, now turned her head toward him.
"So? Do I look different to you now?"
With a mocking curl of her lip, Anis directed her signature deep blue eyes at Han U-sol.
She was testing him.
Even now, could he still look at her the same way?
"......... "
He instinctively lowered his gaze, then lifted his head to meet Anis's eyes again.
He knew it. Murder was a grave crime. Knowing how heavy that sin was, he'd averted his eyes without thinking.
But.
A lot had happened.
He'd witnessed deaths firsthand, even killed villains himself.
Countless comrades had died because of him.
Han U-sol had grown far too accustomed to death.
It wasn't that others' deaths didn't sadden him anymore, but crying over each one like he used to was now a distant memory.
A few deaths weren't enough to cast her aside.
She was more precious than the few humans she'd killed.
"...I told you, Anis. I'm no better than you in that regard."
Her eyes widened at his quicker-than-expected reply.
"I know. After screwing up like this, my words probably lack credibility. I thought I'd tried hard enough, but apparently not."
Han U-sol felt only sorry.
For not being able to fix everything like a movie or novel protagonist just by showing up.
But he couldn't complain.
After all, he wasn't the protagonist of some movie or novel.
He had no choice but to try harder.
"So, I'll keep trying from now on."
Han U-sol looked at the Anis before him.
Her previously aloof, defensive posture seemed a bit softened.
Staring blankly at the ground, she looked deep in thought.
And then,
Bang—!
A gunshot.
With the echo of gunfire resounding through the desolate slums behind him, Han U-sol pondered alone.
If there was a god of timing, they must hate him with a passion.
"Sunbae! Are you okay?"
"......... "
"Sunbae?"
What rotten timing.
Heroes from the city had arrived as reinforcements.
Since Anis had attacked Han U-sol first and lured him here, they saw her as a clear enemy.
"......Effort."
Anis caught the incoming bullet barehanded, rolling it between her fingers as she muttered.
"Can effort really overcome this? This situation right now."
Crackle, sizzle.
The holy power infused in the bullet scorched her skin bit by bit where she held it.
Even as the flesh peeled back and blood seeped out, she toyed with it calmly, like fiddling with a teacup handle.
After playing with the bullet in her hand, Anis shook off the blood from her fingers and spoke.
"Come to think of it, back then, I always tried to stick close to you. Even while harassing you to the point where I thought I was going too far. Know why?"
"...Huh?"
"That was an obsession too. An obsession to get close to you and befriend you. That's why I clung to you even while acting like I hated it. Because Yeriel wanted it."
"......What."
"I've been suspicious for a while, but now I get it."
Han U-sol's face hardened in an instant.
Forget the shocking truth—it was the feeling that her next words wouldn't be good for him at all.
But Anis was cold.
With icy, frigid eyes fixed on Han U-sol, she said,
"I've hated your guts from the very start."
......Ah.
"Get lost. Stop clinging."
He was wrong.
Despair at his failure washed over Han U-sol.