You, No Way?!
"You, no way?!"
Irina grumbled that there was nowhere to park. She complained that they took so much in taxes but who the hell knew where it all went. They were meticulous about collecting every last vehicle-related tax, yet they couldn't even secure proper parking spaces. I chimed in at the right moments while recalling what she'd said earlier.
A monster.
Monster. She'd called herself a monster. Honestly, she wasn't wrong. With a body several times tougher than anyone else's and abilities science couldn't explain, an S-rank existed far beyond the category of human. It was no wonder every country pulled out all the stops to keep or recruit them.
But the way Irina had said "monster" felt different. It wasn't just that she was unlike other people. There was something deeper to it. Something heavier.
"But I get the feeling that you, Seojin oppa, could handle someone like me. That you could take a monster like me and make her at least a little more human."
It sounded like something a cursed princess would say, yet I roughly understood what she meant. It might even be connected to the word "monster" she'd uttered before.
Among S-ranks, Irina possessed an absurdly overwhelming level of power. To her it was simply something she had been born with, but to everyone else it looked like a downright terrifying monster. At some point she must have had to choose: live like the other S-ranks, blending in among people while acting human, or simply walk her own path by her own standards. Irina had chosen the latter. The whole world knew that part. That's why they called her the Crazy Yellow Bitch.
I'd assumed it was just a personality issue. The novel had portrayed her that way, so I'd let it slide. She was basically a villain, if not for the fact that she wasn't an Elder.
But after hearing her say she couldn't help but go crazy, the thought suddenly crossed my mind that there might be a secret the entire world didn't know.
Even my Third Eye isn't showing me anything else. Is there something I'm missing...?
No. No way. I shook my head hard. I wasn't falling for it again. I'd been messed with enough by this crazy woman. Every single time I took things seriously, Irina would just burst out laughing.
"What are you doing? Are you seriously looking for a parking spot?"
"Ahem... I've looked around, but there really aren't any spots available."
"Who looks for a spot like that? You were practically headbanging."
How much longer did we wander? We finally found a parking space. She checked the rear camera once, confirmed both sides, and smoothly backed the car in.
"What are you doing? Aren't you getting out?"
"Huh? Wait, hold on. You're already done parking?"
"I'm unbuckling because it's done. I'm even turning the engine off."
As if to prove she wasn't joking, Irina really was holding the car key. No way. Had she actually parked in a single try? Worried she might have done it sloppily, I glanced down. What I saw was a perfectly aligned vehicle with even spacing on all sides.
What the hell is this woman? What kind of character is she?
At first I'd thought she was an S-rank drunk on her own power, suffering from a late-blooming case of chuunibyou and on the verge of falling to darkness. After meeting her in person, I'd become convinced that was exactly right. But seeing this, it clearly wasn't the whole picture. As much as I hated to admit it, I was genuinely impressed.
"Catch."
A case flew straight at me with those words. I caught it and opened it to find a pair of plain glasses inside. I looked at Irina to ask why she was suddenly giving them to me.
"What are you waiting for? Put them on already. It'll get annoying once we start running into people."
At some point she'd put on glasses similar to mine. She'd even tied up that flowing straight hair into a tight bun on top of her head. That was it—just glasses and tied-up hair. And she called this a disguise. The funny part was that at a glance she really didn't seem like Irina at all. But if I was only wearing glasses, there was no way this would count as a disgui—
"You think just wearing glasses won't make any difference? Try it. It'll explain exactly why hero characters in movies can walk around unrecognized after putting on a single pair of glasses."
To get straight to the result, Irina was completely right. Not only did people fail to recognize me, who was relatively less famous, they didn't even recognize Irina. The key seemed to be that neither of us was paying much attention to the other. With so many people around, most just walked right past us. Above all, there were quite a few foreigners, so Irina didn't stand out.
"See? I told you glasses would be enough."
As she whispered that into my ear, I somehow felt annoyed. Who would've thought anything this crazy woman said would actually be right.
"...So how are you planning to spend the remaining thirty-six minutes?"
"Whoa. Wow. Don't tell me you were actually counting from four minutes? That's seriously too much."
"You said it was taxi fare. Then we have to calculate it properly. I'd lose out if I paid more than I took."
It wasn't unreasonable. In fact, it was perfectly logical. If the taxi came to ten thousand won, paying ten thousand one hundred would be a loss. Since we were spending time instead of money right now, of course we should count it.
"Seriously, no one would doubt that you're a motsol!"
"One more minute has passed."
"Argh!"
In the first place, the one who demanded a date in only forty minutes was the weird one. Forty minutes was even shorter than most office workers' lunch breaks. It would be cutting it close even for a single meal.
"So, Irina. Where are we even going? At least tell me that much."
She hadn't told me our destination and was just walking endlessly. My legs didn't hurt, but no matter how I looked at it, spending time like this seemed like a complete waste. For both my time and for Irina, who had demanded the forty minutes.
"You're so noisy, seriously. Is it that obvious you're a motsol?"
Despite my request, Irina wouldn't budge. She simply kept walking along the crowded street. Thanks to that, I was growing more and more frustrated and irritated.
No, what the hell. Why is she acting like this? It's not like she's refusing the date—she said she'd go on one. Whether it's a late dinner, going to a cafe, or even sitting in a park to talk...
...Wait a second. Wait. Wait.
"Irina."
"Why do you keep pestering me? I'm the one handling this time anyw—"
"Are you a motsol?"
I'd said it because the thought suddenly occurred to me. It was half a test to see how she'd react.
"...What are you even saying right now?"
"Irina, I'm asking if you're a motsol."
The first reason was how obsessively she kept latching onto the word "motsol." No matter what I said, she always circled back to calling me a motsol, didn't she? Teasing was one thing, but repeating it so often had started to feel strange. Second, the way she seemed extremely scared of her mother. Kids in that kind of strict household usually had very little dating experience. Getting caught would be awkward.
"Are you trying to piss me off right now?"
Irina's expression visibly stiffened. Even when she'd lost the Elder she was chasing, when fighting monsters, and even when Suhyun acted sharply toward her, Irina had never once shown negative emotions. Yet the moment I mentioned motsol, she reacted like this?
"Then what were you planning to do on the date? Tell me. You must have had some kind of plan."
"P-plan? What plan! Do we absolutely have to do something specific for it to count as a date?! If anything, that makes you the motsol!"
"You say that, but everyone thinks about where to go and what to do."
Yes. This was it. I was finally starting to see the full picture. Why Irina had been approaching me so aggressively. Why she kept repeating "motsol, motsol" to the point of brainrot. It was so she could hide herself in reverse. By shaking the other person up so thoroughly they couldn't even imagine the truth.
I almost fell for it. No, I did fall for it and barely snapped out of it.
I'd met people like this before while handling complaints. The moment they arrived, they'd use every trick to rattle the civil servant, acting like experts in complaint procedures. In reality they knew nothing and were just loud.
"No, that's not true! I'm not a motsol!"
"Say it again. Are you really not a motsol?"
"Of course not! Do you really think someone like me wouldn't have had a boyfriend?!"
If she had, wouldn't that be surprising in its own way? Even if she awakened late, her personality would have been the same. Handling a woman like her couldn't have been easy. And from everything I'd heard about Irina's mother, she seemed like the type who'd smash her daughter's back to make her study during school days.
"Are you really, really not a motsol?"
"I'm not!"
"Really? For real? You're absolutely sure you're not a motsol? Can you swear on your pride?"
These types of characters also had ridiculously high pride. If you hit them with "swear on your pride," nine times out of ten you'd get an answer.
"...."
Irina stayed silent for a long moment. I was starting to worry she might actually be furious when—
"...Hmph!"
She made a strange little sound and abruptly turned away. In the process, faint tears welled up in the corners of her eyes as if she was dying of embarrassment...
Wait a minute. What did I just see? Tears? From Irina? From that crazy yellow bitch? The villainous ability user who got cursed out constantly. The one whose steel mentality should already be more than enough. For a second I wondered if I was seeing things.
So I slipped my right hand into my pocket and pinched the flesh on my thigh hard.
...It hurt like hell.