Sorry, Not S-Rank - 3
“....” What the hell is with this woman? Did she pawn off her Crazy Yellow Bitch title or something? She actually stops at red lights and goes on green. She doesn’t even accelerate on yellows. When she changes lanes she signals, sticks to the speed limit, and keeps a safe distance. This is Irina? I was braced for some frenzied Mad Max rampage.
“Why do you keep sneaking glances at me? Never seen someone drive before?”
Of course I’m staring. It’s fascinating. Not the driving—the fact that Irina is the one driving. She’s being this careful? This Irina? The Crazy Yellow Bitch herself?
The same woman who should be screaming Fuck manners! Fuck speed limits! Fuck turn signals! at the top of her lungs and still feel like she’s holding back.
Screeech—!
A car pulling out of the merge lane clearly hadn’t checked properly. The moment Irina hit the horn it panicked and slammed on the brakes. If her reaction had been even half a second slower, they would’ve collided. In a situation like this, blowing up and cursing the other driver would be completely justified—basic etiquette says you check your blind spot before merging. If it had been the usual Irina, she would’ve followed the honk with a string of profanity and probably some physical encouragement.
But she didn’t.
She’s not even getting angry? The Irina I know?
At this point the surprise had circled all the way around into fear. Was I really sitting in a car with the actual Irina? Maybe there was a villain out there who could perfectly mimic someone’s appearance. In the span of a few minutes my brain ran through every paranoid scenario imaginable.
“First of all, I am Irina.”
“Uh… yeah?”
“You keep giving me these looks like ‘Who the hell is this person? Pretty sure I don’t know her!’ Our handsome, overly suspicious Seojin oppa.”
She had nailed it so perfectly I couldn’t even respond. I just blinked like an idiot. At this rate I was going to have to be careful even thinking in front of her.
“Second. I actually drive pretty carefully most of the time. Curious why?”
“…A little.”
“It’s nothing special. First time I got behind the wheel I drove like a maniac and Mom chewed me out so bad I thought I was going to die.”
Was Irina’s mother an S-rank ability user too? I thought back, but the answer that came up was a firm no. Both her parents were naturalized foreigners. If either of them had been S-rank, both their home country and Korea would have lost their minds over it.
“You said we were going to the Academy, right?”
“Yes.”
“That’s weird. I asked those suits earlier and they said you were on vacation.”
When the hell had she run a background check? The woman worked fast.
“They even said it was paid leave. Upper management signed off on it and everything.”
“That’s right.”
“And you’re still going in even though they’re offering paid time off? Are you insane?”
She was calling me crazy, but honestly I had no comeback. Even I had to admit that refusing paid vacation to go to work was the behavior of a madman. If the people currently dying for a break heard about my situation, I was confident they’d curse me out while begging me to hand the leave over.
“Is it because of her?”
“Who?”
“Stop pretending you don’t know. That girl who giggles and fawns all over you, Seojin oppa.”
“Suhyun.”
Crack—
I could have sworn I heard something break. I glanced over and saw the steering wheel she was gripping had crumpled slightly. It wasn’t made of clay, yet it had deformed under her grip. It was a fresh reminder that yes, she really was a crazy woman.
“You’re even using her name so casually now. It’s extremely, extremely annoying to listen to.”
“…Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little?”
“Why would I be? Did you already forget how you rejected me not that long ago? Me, a lifelong singleton who still somehow has an iron wall, remember?”
Could she please stop with the virgin talk already? It wasn’t even gaslighting—at this point I was starting to wonder if I really had been single since birth.
“Wait, hold on. Was that actually a serious confession?”
“Wow, look at this guy. What, did you think I was joking?”
“Yes. Obviously I thought it was a joke.”
Irina stared at me with an expression of pure disbelief. Then she turned her head completely, locking her eyes on me instead of the road.
“No, no! Eyes front! The car—the car!”
The light had changed and the vehicle ahead suddenly slammed on its brakes. Sure, there was a safe following distance, but Irina wasn’t even looking forward! At this rate we were going to—
Screeech—
…And yet we didn’t crash. Did this woman have eyes on the side of her head too?
“You’re honestly hilarious. You really thought I was joking?”
“I mean… yeah, honestly. You kept messing with me the whole time, and…”
“So you assumed the confession was just another prank. Like you were scolding me by pretending to confess?”
I found myself nodding before I could stop. Irina let out a long sigh and stepped on the accelerator in time with the light. Her gaze, I should note, was still glued exclusively to me.
“I really am a crazy bitch. I’m not going to deny that. But even I have limits. I wouldn’t use myself as the punchline of a joke. Besides, I’m a woman, you know?”
She was definitely a woman. That was why she was a crazy bitch and not a crazy bastard.
“....”
After that Irina stayed quiet and focused on driving for a while. Thankfully she turned her head back toward the road. The suffocating pressure eased off just a little.
Just a little.
I checked our surroundings to see how far we still had to go. The scenery was starting to look familiar—we were almost there. If we took a left up ahead, got on the main road, and kept going we would—
Whoosh—
“Irina?”
“What?”
“You’re not supposed to turn right here. This road doesn’t lead to the Academy, it…”
“We’re not going to the Academy.”
What was she talking about? She had definitely said she was taking me there earlier.
“Are you kidnapping me?”
“Kidnapping? Why would you use such a grim word?”
“Then where exactly are we going?”
“Before that, you need to pay the fare. We’ve been driving for almost forty minutes.”
“…How much?”
“Money? Don’t worry about it. Do you have any idea how rich I am? I’m probably rotting in cash.”
Any other person saying that would sound ridiculous, but this was Irina. An S-rank ability user. The strongest in Korea. The support funds and rewards that came with that title were astronomical. The phrase rotting in cash was probably literal.
“Then what do you want?”
“I spent forty minutes of my time, so you can give me forty minutes of yours. For me.”
“What are you…”
“I’m asking you out on a date. Are you really that dense?”
At the word date I reflexively looked at her. I wanted to see if she was laughing like last time. I half-expected the Crazy Yellow Bitch to cackle and say it was all a prank.
Damn it. She’s not laughing.
She could at least laugh right now. It would be perfect if she suddenly burst out with “Did you actually get your hopes up? That’s why you’re still a virgin!” I’d be annoyed, sure, but I could laugh it off.
“You said we’d have dinner together and then went completely silent.”
Instead of laughter, Irina dumped a pile of grumbling in my lap.
“You think I don’t have guys chasing after me? They’re so annoying.”
“That’s a hundred percent lie. Who the hell would bother you?”
Unless they had a death wish.
“Just answer me. Forty minutes of your time in exchange for the taxi fare. You in?”
“And if I say no?”
“Then I guess I’ll have to take cash. Hmm… four hundred million should do it?”
“Let’s go on a date.”
Irina looked at me again like I was ridiculous. After acting like I would never agree, the second money came up I folded instantly.
What do you want from me? Four hundred million isn’t some random dog’s name.
Even as a joke, an S-rank’s time was probably worth that much. If Irina had spent those forty minutes doing something more productive, she could have easily earned four billion instead. And knowing her, she would absolutely collect. Spending forty minutes with her was the far better option.
“Unbelievable.”
Irina grumbled, but the corners of her mouth were secretly curving upward. Watching her, a question suddenly popped into my head. I had a feeling asking would only hurt me. I knew I’d probably get another “virgin” comment in response. Still, this felt like the right moment.
“Can I ask you something, Irina?”
“As long as it’s not weird.”
She threw my own answer from last time right back at me. The fact that she even remembered it was honestly a little creepy.
“Why are you doing this? I don’t understand why you keep acting this way toward me.”
“That’s a strange question. A grown woman asks a grown man out on a date. Does it need some deeper meaning? I’m doing it because I like you, Seojin. Are you really a virgin?”
“I was hoping for a more serious answer.”
“And you think I was joking?”
After that Irina kept muttering under her breath. A few minutes later we stopped at another red light.
“…Seojin oppa, you think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
The sudden question almost made me answer yes on reflex. If her voice and expression hadn’t been so serious, I probably would have.
“That’s…”
“Why are you hesitating? I am crazy. Yeah, I know. I know I’m a crazy bitch. I know I’m out of my mind. I cause accidents, act before I think, do things that make people wonder if I’m a hero or a villain. I’m a crazy bitch. There, I admit it!”
At least she was self-aware. Some people never admit they’re insane even when it’s obvious.
“But here’s the thing, Seojin oppa. You might call it nonsense, but—”
Tap, tap. Her fingers drummed lightly on the steering wheel as she continued.
“I had to go crazy. If I stop moving, stop causing trouble, stop fighting… it feels like this heart of mine will just stop. That’s why I run around acting like a maniac.”
“What are you…”
“I’m a monster, you know. A monster no one can handle. Other people can’t deal with me.”
I felt her gaze land on me again. The faint madness, the excessive interest that usually sparkled in her eyes was gone. Instead, those blue irises held something far more complex as they drew closer.
“But you, Seojin oppa… I think you might be able to handle a monster like me. You seem like the kind of person who could make a monster like me feel at least a little bit human.”