Let's Meet Again, Cien
I kept my distance—about five steps behind her—and we walked to the vending machine together. Calling it “going together” felt like a stretch, but given the circumstances, it was the best I could do.
Hiss—
I popped open the can I’d bought and poured the drink straight into my mouth. It was the same grape juice she was sipping. When I’d asked if she wanted anything, she’d only shaken her head shyly, so I’d picked my favorite instead. Judging by the way she kept taking small, careful sips, it seemed she liked it.
So… now what?
Her eyes were clearer than before, which at least meant some progress had been made. But those same eyes were still brimming with tears, making them look impossibly bright. I couldn’t figure out exactly why she was tearing up, but that wasn’t the immediate problem.
Is this karma?
My head throbbed. Cien Lawrence. It wasn’t strange that she was here at the Academy—after all, in my previous life we’d both attended. But this… this was too much.
Just leave the kid alone…
It wasn’t something I had any right to say, considering I was the one who’d ruined her life. Even from a villain’s perspective, her situation was heartbreaking. In the world I came from, she’d devoted her entire existence to fighting me. Here, she was growing up abused. It made no sense. None at all.
But even so…
Do I even have the right to help her?
No matter how much I claimed to have turned over a new leaf, the crimes I’d committed could never be erased. Because I knew exactly what I’d done, I’d tried my best to stay out of Cien Lawrence’s sight in this life. And yet—
“I’m sorry if I’m bothering you…!!”
“…No, that’s not what I meant.”
No matter how thick-skinned or shameless I was, I couldn’t just ignore a girl who flinched in terror and apologized for something as simple as being looked at. To me, who knew how radiant Cien Lawrence could be, seeing her like this felt both alien and painful. The thought that she was now suffering the same pain I once had only made it worse.
I let out a long sigh. The conclusion was obvious. What else could you expect from a villain? Breaking my own resolutions was easier than flipping my hand.
“Can I ask your name?”
I spoke carefully, addressing her once she’d calmed down a little. Of course I already knew her name, but in this world, the two of us were meeting for the first time. Asking for her name was the most ordinary question imaginable.
“…W-why do you want to know my name?”
The girl before me was anything but ordinary right now.
This is harder than I thought.
“It’s not that big a request, is it? After all, like you said, I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here.”
“I’m sorry for asking something like that from someone like me———”
“I was actually happy you said that.”
“……Huh?”
“You showed courage. You told me how you wanted things to be between us.”
“……”
“Thank you. For holding onto me.”
I smiled gently. What she needed right now was unconditional support, warm attention, and praise that could melt the ice around her frozen heart. I recalled an old interview I’d once read in a magazine with the hero Cien Lawrence and kept wondering what she would have done, what the current her needed most.
“Can you tell me your name?”
Once again, I looked straight into her eyes and asked as gently as I could.
“…Cien.”
Her lips, which had seemed permanently sealed, finally parted.
“Cien Allensia.”
“Allensia?”
My own lips fell open in shock. The ducal house that ruled the North. A prestigious family famous for their ruthless swordsmanship. But the name I remembered was something else entirely.
A family of extreme power supremacists, every bit as insane as the Saturn family.
“…Hah.”
The moment I heard that name, everything clicked. Sein Lawrence—no, Sein Allensia. I finally understood why she had been broken.
Among those who chase power, none are sane. Strength is a fruit that can only be gained after defeating both rivals and oneself. Of course, some are born with heavenly blessings and innate power… but what I’m trying to say is this:
Even though it comes with suffering, we pursue strength because it allows us to satisfy the innate human ‘superiority complex’ through the gap in power. Superiority complex. The instinctive satisfaction of feeling above others. The ability to crush someone and do with them as you please. In a world where power is authority, the superiority one feels from possessing great strength is stronger than anyone can imagine.
That’s why families with overwhelming power have always ruled the world.
The Allensia family of the North. One of the four founding houses, their wealth, authority, and tradition formed an impregnable fortress and an ideal that everyone envied. The problem was that the wars fought inside that fortress were filthy and ugly.
Now I finally understand why she’s so terrified of me.
In a place where even trivial rivalries between siblings could easily claim dozens of lives, everyone with any connection to the family knew how fierce and cruel the Allensia succession wars were. And Cien had been thrown right into the middle of that filthy competition.
Then this place is incredibly dangerous.
This was a joint neutral zone established by agreement between the four great houses. A place that symbolized peace for all humanity. While she might have escaped the direct abuse she suffered at the main estate, her siblings would surely use their connections to attack her indirectly. Moreover, the Academy was extremely far from the Allensia main house. In a place with observers, they might restrain themselves somewhat, but here there were no watchers to monitor their rivalry. They would only push her harder, never easier. Just like the violent scene I’d witnessed at the fountain proved.
And at fifteen, she’s just about reached the age where the real succession battles begin.
Allensia. Just knowing the name was enough for me to vividly imagine the humiliation, terror, and violence she must have endured.
“…You must hate me, right?”
And worse than even my imagination, both her body and mind were completely worn down.
“…I’m sorry.”
She bowed her head and apologized to me. I couldn’t understand why she thought I would hate her, or what exactly she was apologizing for. But I had a rough idea. I shouldn’t have been born, but I was. Everything goes wrong because of me. I’d once wallowed in that same absurd self-loathing.
“Cien. Can you look me in the eyes?”
For now, I needed to do something about that personality of hers. Setting aside how heartbreaking it was, seeing the woman who had once tried every possible way to kill me acting like this still felt jarring every single time.
“My… eyes?”
She cautiously lifted her head and looked somewhere around my chin. The moment our eyes were about to meet, she flinched and whipped her head to the side.
“……”
I could do this all day. I stared at her with that exact unspoken message, and like a frightened kitten, she eventually peeked up at me with trembling eyes.
“Thank you.”
Villain’s specialty: shamelessness. She turned her eyes away slightly at my bold expression of gratitude, but soon looked back at me again. This was the first time in my life I’d ever been so grateful to say thank you.
“Then let’s start by clearing up the misunderstanding Sein is carrying.”
“Misunderstanding…?”
“I don’t hate you.”
I pointed at myself, then turned my wrist to point at her. A sentence so simple even a child could understand it.
“……?”
She tilted her head in confusion, so I repeated myself.
“I. Don’t. Hate. You.”
This time I drew a big X with both hands to make it extra clear.
“…Hweh?”
She let out a strange sound as both her eyes went perfectly round.
“Think about it. If I hated you, I wouldn’t have pulled you out of there with me. I wouldn’t have said I’d make you happy. And I definitely wouldn’t have bought you grape juice. I wouldn’t have given you grape juice at all.”
Yes. The most important part was the grape juice. I was the kind of person who needed one glass of grape juice a day, yet I was so broke that I’d have to quit drinking it entirely in a week. And yet I—someone who had never once shown goodwill to another person—had given away my entire daily ration just to talk to her.
Ha. This is way beyond turning over a new leaf.
A sense of pride at having performed a good deed welled up inside me, and a smile spread across my face without me realizing it. In that spirit, I downed the remaining half of the grape juice in one go.
“Grape juice really is the truth.”
“…Pardon?”
“Ah, just talking to myself.”
I waved my hand lightly, stood up, and tossed the empty can into the trash. Then I turned back to look at her.
“Anyway. You understand now that I don’t hate you, right?”
“……W-well, that is…”
“Pfft. It’s fine. Just the fact that you even considered the possibility that I might not hate you means a lot to me.”
I gave a hearty laugh as I watched her hesitate, mumbling. Fifteen years old. I didn’t know exactly how long she’d been abused, but her extreme wariness made it clear that she had completely closed her heart. No ordinary person could get a single word out of her. After all, until I’d shown up, she’d been taking hits from those delinquents like a lifeless doll.
Her once-cloudy purple eyes now held a faint spark of life. She was still passive, but she was making a steady effort to answer me. All of this had happened in just a single day. It was more than enough—it was a lavish gift. I was grateful beyond words.
“I enjoyed talking with you today.”
“……”
“If you’re okay with it, I’d like to talk like this again next time. Would that be alright?”
I hadn’t really asked expecting an answer. Even if she says no, I’ll still come find her anyway. This question was purely formal. My actions were already decided; she simply had to accept them. A very villainous mindset. That said, I had no intention of forcing my way closer and tormenting her if she truly disliked it. I would only approach as much as she allowed, just like today. That much should be morally acceptable, right?
…Or was it?
Now that I thought about it, being a villain made it hard to judge where that line was. I’d claimed to have turned over a new leaf, yet here I was, seriously contemplating whether it was right to approach someone who didn’t want me to—when her small voice interrupted my thoughts.
“…W-will you really talk with me again?”
She looked up at me like a baby bird staring at its mother who had brought back food. Seeing her eyes shimmer with tears yet still hold such expectation, I couldn’t help but laugh helplessly.
If only I’d had the courage to take the hand you offered me back then.
The self-loathing of reflecting on a useless past, the guilt of having shaken off her hand and doomed her to misfortune.
And the strange joy of seeing an expression of pure innocence on her face that I had never witnessed before.
“Answering a question with another question—I’ll take that as you agreeing from now on.”
“Let’s meet again, Cien.”
It was a smile complicated in more ways than one.