This Is Why I Hate Fate
This is why I hate fate.
Even with a brief cast of Accelerated Thinking, the one thing I learned was that this body was an utterly mediocre mage.
Two circles.
In my past life, at the age of seven—which I could call my first real memory—I had already reached three circles.
That cursed family had performed some unheard-of human modification, so by then I was at five circles.
Of course, even without the modifications, my potential as a mage in my previous life had been so outstanding that I eventually became a Sage, but…
Still, for someone who had once transcended the very yardstick used to measure a mage’s level, being stuck at an inexperienced, low-grade two-circle state was heartbreaking.
If I wanted to increase my total mana, I could simply raise my rank, but with this body six circles would be the absolute limit.
Above all, there was no reason for me to become stronger. I had no plans to join a guild or the Magic Tower later, and since I had already grasped the Truth, I could wield magic of a far higher tier than what this body should have been capable of.
Honestly. When I looked at it with complete objectivity, being two-circle at fifteen wasn’t low at all. Most of the mage department freshmen entering the Academy were around that level anyway.
It only sounded low by my standards; this body was actually quite respectable, without any glaring flaws. If anything, the fact that I could handle the unique school of Ether meant I was more blessed by magic than the other students.
Still, how can a tiger that’s tasted meat go back to grazing on grass?
There was no reason to become stronger, but that didn’t mean there was any reason to stay weak, either. I would keep growing at a moderate pace without overdoing it.
Whoosh———!
With that thought in mind, I slipped the incoming fist with a clean duck.
“You fucking bastard…!!”
The tanned, blond delinquent—Gold Taeyang, as everyone called him—kept up his ferocious assault even while panting for breath.
His movements were rooted in boxing. What else could you expect from a knight department student? His physique was excellent, and his boxing form and footwork looked polished enough to suggest at least five years of training.
Especially dangerous was the combination of jab-straight-lead hook. If it landed, it was threatening enough to knock someone out for two full days of sleep.
Since I had zero confidence in enduring it with this frail mage’s body…
“With movements like that, what—are you trying to catch flies?”
I crouched, deflected left and right, or took light forward and backward steps, deliberately dodging by the narrowest margin possible.
Space-time Department 3-Circle Magic
⟨ Perception Expansion: Present Sight ⟩
His gaze, the direction his arm extended, his footwork, the next action—everything.
I expanded the amount of information I could receive within the instant called “the present.” Thanks to that, Gold Taeyang’s movements looked as if they were flowing in slow motion and I could read them perfectly. But separate from that, my actual vision still obeyed the laws of physics, so—
Space-time Department 4-Circle Magic
⟨ Domain Expansion: Time Acceleration ⟩
I accelerated my body’s time so that my physical reactions could keep up with my heightened perception.
The result?
“Fuuuuck…!!!”
I was able to dodge Gold Taeyang’s relentless barrage for a full five minutes without breaking a sweat.
Whoosh—. The hook packed with all his strength sliced uselessly through empty air.
Whether that had been his final attack or not, Gold Taeyang grabbed both knees, bowed his head, and gasped for breath.
“Giving up?”
“Huff… huff…!”
“I mean, why show off like that? Sure, you’re at the age where you want to look cool in front of girls, but you should also know when to gracefully accept that something’s impossible. Don’t you think?”
“…Yes♡.”
“…Yes♡.”
As I patted Gold Taeyang’s shoulder, the two girls with smoky makeup clasped their hands politely and nodded at my words. Behind them, two boys watched with complicated expressions, hearts practically floating in the girls’ eyes, and finally exploded in irritation.
“You’re all going to freeze to death! Fuck, aren’t you supposed to be cheering for us?!”
“But what if our oppa gets hurt while we cheer?!”
“Fuck, that bastard’s the same first-year as us!”
“If he’s handsome, he’s oppa!”
“I prefer older guys, though.”
“Kyaa~! Then I’ll call you baby!!”
“What the hell are you giggling about…!”
A sharp kick interrupted the serious moment in which I was revealing my tastes to the two girls. The pair who had been watching finally decided they couldn’t stand it anymore and charged at me together, huffing with rage.
“Haven’t you two learned anything from watching your friend? Why do you keep trying things that obviously won’t work? What, are you special forces? Do you actually believe that ‘if it doesn’t work, make it work’ nonsense?”
“Shut up!”
“This is exactly the harm of bad education, you know? Back in the day those knight bastards kept saying ‘if it doesn’t work, make it work’ while training, and look how these guys turned out.”
“Fuck. You’re not leaving today until that dog-shit face of yours is smashed in. Got it…?!”
“Sigh. This teacher was hoping you’d realize it on your own…”
Bang—. I blocked the low kick by pressing my foot against the attacker’s shin, then shoved hard. The moment he lost his balance—
Crash———!
I snatched his head with my right hand and slammed it straight into the ground.
The sound was sickening—impossible to tell whether the stone tiles or his skull had cracked—but these guys were knight department students famous for being tough as nails.
“At your age it’ll heal if you just lick it, so don’t come whining about hospital bills later. I’ll count the lesson fee as paid with that.”
“Hiiik…!”
“Oh, right. You—go slam your own head in.”
I ignored the remaining boy who was staring at me in terror, turned, and grabbed the girl who was still sitting on the ground. The two delinquent girls nearby tried to block me in a panic.
“You’ll step aside, won’t you?”
“…Yes♡.”
“…Okay♡.”
When I smiled lightly they blushed shyly and let go.
Handsome guys really do rule.
“I’m sorry.”
I gently wrapped her limp wrist, pulled her close, and draped an arm around her shoulders. She still offered no resistance.
Just how thoroughly conditioned to violence was she that she could go completely limp like a doll?
She seemed even worse off than I had imagined, and it pained me, but the priority was to get her out of here and treat her.
“That bastard—?!”
As expected from young knight department students, our Gold Taeyang had already recovered his stamina. It was obvious he would swing at me without warning, so I kicked his abdomen first. Another horrible cracking sound rang out, but I didn’t even look back as I left the garden with the silver-haired girl.
I collapsed onto a bench.
My head tilted toward the sky, and my breath exploded out as if it had been waiting for the chance.
“Those bastards really fight dirty…”
The injured girl.
Going to the infirmary to treat her was the natural course of action. Knowing that, they had stationed their friends all along the path.
I wanted to sweep every last one of them aside, and honestly I could have, but… causing trouble before the semester even started wouldn’t do me any favors.
Above all, when I tried to head to the infirmary the child had refused fiercely, saying she didn’t need to go, that she would heal soon anyway.
That put me in a difficult position as someone who wanted to help. No matter how famous martial-world people were for their regenerative abilities, there was no way injuries from that kind of beating would heal in just a few minutes.
———That was what I had thought three minutes ago.
“……”
I turned my head just a fraction to look beside me.
The silver-haired girl sat with her head deeply bowed.
She looked about 160 centimeters tall. Everyone knew girls this age were at the tail end of their growth spurts and that martial-world DNA produced superior physiques. It was also undeniable that I was shorter than average for my age.
…Kids these days really are tall.
The roughly five-centimeter difference suddenly made me worry that my growth might have already stopped, but the important thing right now was this child’s condition.
She really does seem fully healed.
The swelling in her cheek had gone down, and the torn skin was not only free of wounds but so clean and white that not even a single pore was visible. Just as she had said, every injury had healed in mere minutes.
Phoenix emblem on the shoulder. Navy tie.
Knight department. Same first-year as me.
In other words, this child had been suffering horrific bullying even before the semester had officially begun.
It really doesn’t make sense.
Whatever the reason for the ostracism and violence, it could never be justified, so there was no point thinking about it… but the child’s reaction to violence was equally abnormal.
The scarred face visible through her disheveled hair, the lifeless eyes, the heavily hunched shoulders, the deeply bowed head, the emaciated frame—having both driven others to the brink and been driven there myself, I knew exactly what this reaction meant.
Severe abuse and violence. A complete absence of warmth from anyone. Days so dark that neither hope nor even death could be wished for.
This child had been trapped in deep darkness for a very long time. Even now, sitting here with me.
Ha. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick.
I clicked my tongue inwardly so the child wouldn’t be startled and swallowed my rage.
The Seton family.
The psychopathic clan that had ruined my life. Mad mages who viewed people as nothing more than experimental subjects or tools required to reach the Truth, committing every inhuman experiment imaginable.
Just remembering the biological experiments they had performed on me still made my chest ache, stole my breath, and sent pain so intense I wanted to die coursing through my entire body.
And yet this child must have gone through the same thing.
The beauty I could call the greatest among everyone I had ever seen. A pitiful being who could do nothing by herself. The child was like a marionette born solely to be hated.
“Huu…”
I took a deep breath and suppressed my anger as much as possible.
This too must be part of the story dictated by fate. As someone who had been victimized by fate myself, the thought that the child would have to suffer the same pain made one corner of my heart sting sharply.
I wanted to help her.
But what exactly did “helping” mean?
I knew it was a stupid question. Yet even knowing that, I couldn’t stop repeating it—because the villain I had been had never once helped anyone.
But staying still like this doesn’t make sense either…
The growing impatience made me unconsciously tap my thigh with my index finger. Maybe I should just use magic and spend three hours seriously thinking it over. As I was genuinely considering that—
If it were her———.
Suddenly the face of the most righteous and kind person I knew came to mind. The finger tapping my thigh stopped.
If it were her. She would definitely…
I recalled what she had done for me. I carefully remembered the hand she had tried to offer me—the hand I had ultimately pushed away.
I recalled it. I remembered it.
I could do it. I could make it happen.
A faint tension took hold of my body.
Please take my hand.
Had she extended her hand to me with this same feeling?
Imagining her heart now, I slowly parted my lips.
“Thank you. For trusting me.”
“———.”
“Thanks to you, I was able to escape safely.”
I turned to face her. My gaze was gentle so it wouldn’t feel burdensome. My expression was the brightest smile I could manage. And I used the warmest voice I could produce.
“My name is Rain. I’m in the magic department and I’m fifteen. Oh, I’m the same first-year as you.”
“……”
“I know. That me speaking to you like this might be a huge burden for you. That if you had just taken a little more beating they would have backed off on their own, but because I intervened for no reason, they might harass you even harder tomorrow.”
I recalled the emotions I had felt back then. I understood what she must be feeling right now.
“If you resent me, that’s fine. I can accept it. Because this wasn’t the situation you wanted. You never once asked to be saved, even up until the moment I took your hand and left that place.”
“……”
“That’s right. I’m a selfish person. I have to do what must be done, and I have to take what I want… a very self-centered person.”
I wasn’t looking for an answer. I wasn’t asking her to look at me. That was why I continued the monologue meant for only one person—a conversation that would never echo back.
“So everything that will happen from now on stems from my selfishness.”
What I had needed back then. What she needed now.
“I’ll make you a happy person. Until those lips of yours can say that you are happy.”
Warmth.
“Until then, I’ll be your one and only ally.”
Because all she needed was the warmth that could melt a heart frozen solid. Because warmth alone would have been enough.
“———.”
An awkward silence settled. It felt as if time itself had stopped.
I had revealed the sincerity I wanted to convey and, at the same time, wanted to hear, yet she remained with her head deeply bowed… showing no reaction at all.
It hurts more than I expected.
Did she, whose sincerity never reached her, feel the same stinging pain I felt now?
But what hurt most of all was my own helplessness—the fact that I could only watch myself suffering with head bowed, never knowing how to cry out loud or how to take the hand someone offered. Never able to find the wounds even after they formed.
Did your heart ache as painfully as mine does now?
“…You must be thirsty after all that running. I’ll go to the vending machine and quickly buy drinks. …Would orange juice be okay?”
There was no answer.
With a faint, bitter smile I rose from the bench.
“I’ll be right back.”
Hoping she would remain here.
That was the exact moment I stood up, wishing so in my heart.
“…Please don’t go.”
A pitiful voice that made my heart stop.
Just hearing it told me everything—how afraid she was, how tense she was, how much she was trembling, how much courage it had taken.
I reflexively turned at the voice that kept me from taking another step.
“…Huh?”
I couldn’t believe my eyes.
The gray hair, glossy enough to ripple like waves, had been mussed by violence. The purple eyes that could shine like amethysts had been clouded by negative emotions and lost their light.
Unfortunately, the girl was so breathtakingly beautiful that even her broken appearance made one forget to breathe.
———Like an idiot, I hadn’t recognized her.
“…Please, don’t go.”
Gray hair and purple eyes. A beauty unmatched by anyone. Knowing that only one person in the entire world could possess all those traits—
“Being alone… scares me…”
I had failed to recognize the girl in front of me even after seeing that singular, unique feature.
“…I’m begging you. Please, please stay by my side…”
Sien Lawrence.
She was crying.
“———.”
This is why I hate fate.
Like crazy.