Fuck Me Already
The entrenching tool.
It wasn't a proper weapon—not a spear, not an axe, not a sword. But it was a solid chunk of steel. Hit someone with a hunk of metal this heavy and you could kill them easily enough. What's more, the blade could slice through thin wood as cleanly as an axe. So a human skull—no, a zombie's skull—it could crush with room to spare.
Versatility went without saying, and its durability would outclass most weapons by a mile.
Of course, it had its drawbacks too. Unfolded, it ran only about sixty centimeters—short—and since it was designed as a shovel, the triangular grip made it pretty awkward to swing as a weapon. The handle was thin and angled besides, so a hard swing could send it spinning in your palm. But I had an item that canceled out that weakness.
These Non-slip Gloves.
Whoosh!! Whiiip!!!
No matter how hard I gripped and swung, the handle showed no intention of slipping. Which meant I didn't need two hands—one was plenty. The real question was whether I could swing the damn thing accurately.
"Kraaagh!!!"
"Kraagh!!!"
"Yeah, stay right there. Let me get some practice in."
The bars on the holding cell and the ones on the entrance door were the same width. So if I could kill the two inside, I could kill every zombie packed in front of the door the same way. The problem was I still couldn't swing the shovel accurately between the iron bars.
CLANG!!!!!
Fucking hell.
"Augh..!!!!! My hand....!!!!!"
The shock of metal striking metal traveled straight up the shaft, and my hand trembled violently. It wasn't just shaking—the pain was searing, like I'd been electrocuted.
"Kraagh!!"
"Kraaaagh!!!"
"......"
Better practice a safer way first.
I marked the width of the iron bars on a spare chair and started drilling, bringing the entrenching tool down again and again.
This is exhausting as hell.
"Huff...! Huff...!"
"Will you cut it out already?! Do you have any idea how terrifying it is watching you do that?! You're like some kind of chair serial killer..!!"
Sweat poured off me as I kept swinging the entrenching tool, and instead of thinking this should be enough, all I could think was that I needed more practice.
"......"
"Wh-what..! Why are you looking at me like that again!!"
Chairs with their backs split down the middle lay scattered everywhere. I could now aim between the iron bars and land a clean hit. But that wasn't enough.
In game terms, this place was the safe starting town. Safety was guaranteed for now—but the second I stepped outside, that guarantee vanished. So I needed more practice. Not just landing accurate strikes between the bars, but raising my weapon proficiency high enough to handle all kinds of situations.
"Hey."
"What..!"
"Throw something at me."
"What..?"
"I said throw anything."
"Anything..?"
"Yeah. Anyth—not that!!!!"
"......"
"This crazy bitch..!!"
The crazy bitch who'd been folding up the collapsible chair from the interrogation room clicked her tongue in disappointment and started scanning the room. But when she reached for a computer monitor, I stepped in and set up something to throw myself.
Crumple some tissue into a paper cup, add a little water from the cooler, give it a shake—and you've got a practice projectile that's neither too big nor too small, and won't hurt if it hits you.
"This is way too light."
"That's the point—so I don't get hurt!"
"Tch..."
"Start by throwing lightly. Height is up to you. I'll have my back turned, so before you throw—"
"Ah, sorry. I was about to call out."
Water from the soaked back of my head ran down my spine and soaked into my underwear. Looks like some education was in order.
I turned back toward the crazy bitch and started walking toward her, and immediately a paper cup packed with wet tissue came flying at me.
"D-don't come near me!! You've done worse than this to me!!!!"
"Stay right there."
"I said stay away!! Kyaaah!!!"
"I said stay put!!!"
Somehow, it turned into perfect practice. Once she started running, the crazy bitch burned through her two paper cups and started flinging whatever junk was on the desks, and I swung the entrenching tool to block or bat away every flying object. By the end we were both wiped out—and I'd somehow jacked my proficiency way up.
"Haa..! Haa..! Haa..! Haa..!"
"Hooooh...."
"W-wait! Time out for a second! Just one minute.... Oh, for fuck's—!!"
The crazy bitch scowled, scrambled to her feet, grabbed whatever was nearest, and got ready to run again—but I walked somewhere else entirely.
Straight to the front of the holding cell.
"Kraaaagh!!!"
"Kraaagh!!!"
"......"
I stared hard at the zombie I'd failed to kill earlier. Then I raised the arm hanging limp at my side and swung with everything I had.
Screeech!!
An ugly metallic scrape rang out, but the searing pain from before didn't come. Something else did.
CRACK!!!
The blade punched into the zombie's forehead, carving through flesh and shattering bone—a filthy, nauseating sensation.
"Ah...."
"......"
At the soft gasp behind me, I turned my head. The crazy bitch had come to watch, her eyes wild as she backed away. I stared at her, then yanked the entrenching tool free from the zombie's slack forehead.
"Want to play tag again?"
"....KYAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"
"What a chicken."
Watching the crazy bitch scramble for cover inside an office with nowhere to hide, a wave of relief washed over me. Thank god. She hadn't seen this.
Tremble-tremble-tremble-tremble....!!!!
The harder I clenched the entrenching tool, the worse the shaking got. I'd already been through this once, and still I couldn't calm down. When I'd beaten someone to death with an earthenware pot, the dominant feeling had been that I'd knocked something down. Now...
"Kraagh!! Kraaagh!!"
"......"
I'd killed it. That was all I felt—the sensation of murdering a large living thing. But.
I grabbed my violently shaking right arm with my left hand and forced it still. This was only the beginning.
"Don't worry. I'll kill you soon enough too."
"KRAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!"
A moment later my right arm stopped trembling, swung again, and the last zombie locked in the holding cell crumpled to the floor.
Which left only these.
"Kraagh!!!"
"Kraaaagh!!!"
"Kraagh!!"
"Kraaa!!"
"Kraagh!!!"
"Kraaaagh!!!"
"Kraagh!!"
"Kraaaaagh!!"
The ones packed against the door leading to the hallway.
"Hoo...."
I closed my eyes for a moment and steadied my breathing. And when I opened them again—
THUNK!!!!
Blood sprayed up between the entrenching tool buried in a forehead and filled both my eyes.
The daily routine was simple enough.
Breakfast was cup ramen scavenged from the office.
"Sluuurp!!!"
You had to eat a solid breakfast if you wanted to make it through the day.
"Kraaagh!!!"
"Would you quit coming already."
After breakfast, I'd bang the entrenching tool against the iron bars connected to the hallway to lure the zombies in. Then I'd kill them. When my right arm overloaded and I couldn't swing anymore, I'd duck out of sight and wait for the gathered zombies to scatter.
Clunk-clunk-clunk..!!
Once they dispersed, I'd remove the latch hanging on the bars, drag the piled corpses into the office, and heave them out the window. You had to clear them out or the zombies would just stick to the bars and you couldn't kill any more. Plus it kept the stench of rotting bodies from filling the room.
"Urgh..!!"
O Jihye puffed out her cheeks every time like she was about to puke—though she never actually did—and still helped in her own way. She hated touching zombie corpses with a passion, but she hated the stench of neglected ones even more. That was why she'd been the first to haul out the two zombies that had died inside the holding cell, beating me to it.
"I seriously hate this..! When the hell can we get out of here?!"
"Until we can leave safely."
"Shiiit...! Then why do you keep hanging me out there!!!!"
Sometimes we did this too—hanging O Jihye out the window to lure zombies. The point was to secure safety for after we escaped the police station. Calling in every zombie to kill them all was absurd, of course, but it still made things a little safer.
But today would be the last of it. The food we'd found in the office was almost gone. Two days at most. We had to get out before then, while we still had decent energy and weren't starving, so we could find somewhere safe or scavenge more food.
"Good work."
"A ton of them came this time..! Like a hundred!"
"Don't exaggerate. Nowhere near that. Twenty at most."
"W-whatever..!! How much longer do we have to keep doing this..."
"Today's the last day."
"The last..? So we're leaving now?? Going home??"
"Home, she says."
"Then where are we going?!!"
"Somewhere safe with food. And why are you even asking? You coming with me?"
"Huh..?"
"I might decide to fuck you whenever I feel like it. You still want to come with me?"
"Th-that's...! O-of course not...."
Honestly, after a few days with O Jihye, the urge for sex had climbed pretty high. Her personality was a nightmare, but her legs were long enough to pass for a model's, and her face was on the pretty side. But the stamina it'd take wasn't worth spending. Using that energy to kill one more zombie raised my odds of staying alive.
"You're... starting again..?"
"Have to. And you should start thinking too."
"About what..?"
"Where you'll go once we leave. Ideally, get used to killing those things before we walk out of here. From now on, you'll have to do it yourself—not me. If you want to survive alone."
"......"
I left O Jihye standing there, worry written all over her face, and went back to the iron bars.
Clang- clang- clang- clang-
The sound of the entrenching tool striking iron slowly drew them in again.
"Kraaaagh!!!!"
"Kraaagh!!!"
"Kraaaa!!"
"Kraaaaagh!!!"
"Pretty thick today."
To wrap up the day, I drove the entrenching tool into the forehead of yet another of the endlessly swarming zombies.
Hoo.... I'm so fucking sick of this.
What the hell..?
Why does this feel so good?
"Aaaah..."
A sound slipped out of me on its own as I forced my heavy eyelids open. Sensation sharpened a little more, and sounds I hadn't been hearing came through.
"Slurp..! Mmph..! Mmph...! Slurp....!"
"Aaaah...!"
"Mmm..? Mmm??"
On the blanket spread across the floor, O Jihye had my cock in her mouth between my spread legs, staring up at me with round eyes.
"I-is this a dream..?"
For a dream, it's way too vivid.
Especially the thick pull of her sucking, the slide of her tongue and lips.
"Oooh..!"
"Haa.. haa.. you awake..?"
"......"
"Wh-what... why are you staring like that..."
Looking embarrassed, O Jihye wiped the spit from around her mouth with the back of her hand and gave my thigh a light touch.
This is a dream?
This vivid?
Of course it wasn't a dream.
"You... what the hell are you doing right now..?"
"What am I doing.. it's been standing up this whole time.. looked like it was hurting...."
"What kind of bullshit is that?!! You crazy bitch..!"
"Ha..!! Hey! You think I'm doing this because I want to?! And when a girl like me does this for you, shouldn't you just be happy about it?!"
"Bullshit..! Who the hell does this without asking permission..!!"
"Oh, that's rich..! Where was all this when you were moaning about how good it felt..!!"
"When did I?!!"
"Whatever. I'm finishing what I started."
"W-wait a second!"
"What now?!"
"No—why are you doing this all of a sudden!!!"
"That is...."
O Jihye kept rolling her glistening lips inward, then shot me a sidelong glance and yanked her T-shirt down so hard it stretched. The neck hole dropped all the way to her elbows. Which meant one of her fairly decent tits was on full display—but th-this wasn't the point!!
"Wh-what are you doing?! Pull that back up right now!"
"Why....?"
"What do you mean why?! Because I have no intention of doing it with you!"
"So.... why..? You've been saying you want to fuck me every single day!!"
"That was just talk to make you listen!"
"What..?"
"Listen carefully. I have no intention of having sex with you. Got it?"
"......"
The shock must have hit hard—her wide eyes lost focus. She stared blankly at me for a moment, then, as if something had short-circuited, she started laughing.
"Ha.. haha... hahahaha!!"
"Why is this crazy bitch laughing like a maniac..."
"......"
This time her eyes locked onto my face with perfect focus, narrowing to slits as she glared daggers at me.
"You have no intention of doing it with me..? You?? With me???"
"What are you even saying..!"
"Ha.. my pride is wounded..! Look again properly! Me! O Jihye!! Where else are you going to find a girl like me to have sex with?!! Get your head on straight!"
"You get your head on straight!!! I swear I'll fucking—"
"Fine. Fuck me."
"N-no! That was a slip of the tongue! It's just stuck in my mouth—"
"Fuck me."
"I'm not fucking you!"
"I said fuck me, you son of a bitch!!!!!"
"Just go the hell to sleep! You crazy bitch!!!!"
And so, in the middle of the night, O Jihye and I ended up playing tag—a game of tag between the one trying to get fucked and the one refusing to do the fucking.