Idol (3)
Her prepared content was a talk session with viewers in a VR map. It was the worst kind of content for Han Seol right now, but the basic premise of a virtual idol came from communicating with fans. That's why Alfa had given a heads-up to all the first-round passers: try doing a stream built together with your fans. It was like a test. Just like telling each of them to solve their own riddle. That was also why Han Seol had consulted Jiyeon and started this content.
As soon as she created the room, avatars flooded in. They soon swarmed in front of her.
She lacked experience. She hadn't been at a level to do content with viewers in the first place. People had just flocked in by sheer luck. So she had no proper countermeasures in place. The crowd murmured.
"Rie, I love you!"
"Your voice is so freaking cute!"
"Be honest, you know you're gonna fail, right?"
"Just drop out voluntarily, Rie. You won't go far!"
Their words stabbed at her like sharp awls.
The chat window started heating up in response. She quickly left the room. Her hands shook from panic, and she couldn't even string words together properly. But the stream was already live, and there was no one to wait for her like that. Just as the chat was overheating, a notification chimed.
Thanks to his donations, the crowd focused on Rie shifted their attention. From suspicions about who he was to people finding the whole situation hilarious. It gave her a moment to breathe and move on to the next content.
In the past, Han Seol would have been deeply moved by it. It would have fueled her drive to stream. But now, nothing reached her. It was all empty. Nothing tangible in her grasp. Not the goals she thought she'd achieve on her own, not the fans who thought of her, not the seniors who looked out for her. Nothing stuck.
She turned on her desktop. What appeared were countless accusations and hate comments aimed at Rie. Even after the viewer participation content in the VR map flopped, everything she tried failed. Maybe the outcome was set from the start, broadcasting in an unstable state without any self-confidence.
The board with her photo was flooded with comments.
And another post was full of outright curses.
It wasn't just that. Even her inbox, which had been a space for one-on-one, was overrun with malice. From feedback twisted into insults, to sexual harassment, to criticism just for the sake of bashing. She had no allies. She was lonely. There were people supporting her, but they weren't physically there. In the end, they were just connections from the virtual world. No matter how much she wanted to lean on them, she couldn't get any closer. She wanted to fly. She had wings more beautiful than anyone's. Looks others envied, a family that wasn't poor even if not rich, the bold personality from her old days. But the wings that once lit dark paths no longer shone. No one to be her lantern. The darkness was stronger than the faint light she clung to.
'Stream start.' A word that once thrilled her. Maybe the path she could have taken. The beginning that had been a signpost for a loner like her.
'...Scary.'
It terrified her. She didn't want to click it. She just wanted to be comfortable now. It was okay not to fly. As long as she could be at ease, that would be enough. She'd dreamed too big. Dreamed of reaching the light.
"Scary..."
Everything around her was ashen; nothing could brighten her.
"Hng..."
Her breath came in gasps. Because she'd realized she was left alone. Tears that hadn't fallen in so long trailed down her cheeks.
"I... don't want this anymore..."
She clutched the fabric over her left chest. Tears overflowed. They dripped relentlessly, and there was no holding back the surging sobs. Why me of all people? Why only to me? What did I even do wrong...!
Still, time marched on. The next day, and the day after. Eventually, she moved her mouse. Not even knowing where she stood. Today, the stream started too.
Viewer count steadily increased. Proof was that within less than five minutes of going live, 200 people had gathered. But that was just surface level. The real reason viewers grew was the clips and word-of-mouth on communities. People chased amusement. Not just stream entertainment, but the primal thrill of tormenting someone. It had always been that way in the past; now Rie was just the target. Simple as that.
Rie's trembling voice tapped at my ears. It was a really subtle shake, but I'd heard it hundreds of times already, so I caught it. She was extremely anxious right now. This wasn't just nerves. It resembled the slump hakko streamers often faced. Not surprising. Facing blind hate from an anonymous mob is unbearable for normal people. She was just an ordinary person unfamiliar with this before becoming a streamer.
I hated myself for being powerless. I donated. Of course, she reacted with genuine thanks over and over, but it wasn't enough to break the situation. I tried email too. She always replied lightning-fast before, but this time it felt off. No long grateful messages, no one-minute responses.
So watching her struggle alone, I could only clench my fist. If I hadn't clipped and sent her that ad. If I hadn't become her fan. Rie wouldn't have suffered like this. But spilled water. Lamenting now changed nothing.
What I needed to do was think about what to do for her. Put negative thoughts aside for now. Figure out the best way I could.
I gripped my mouse.
The stream began. News about her had grown enough to reach Alfa's ears.
For Han Seol, it was actually a good thing. Once Alfa intervened, the blind hate dropped sharply. But viewer numbers started declining too. Baseless fires burn out quick. It had just reached that point. All she had to do was accept it. She was exhausted now.
"Yeah... I'm fine..."
After this happened to Han Seol, Jiyeon always called to comfort her.
"You sure you're really okay? Seol, if it's tough, you have to tell me."
"...I'm fine."
"My little Seol, unnie's so worried... Call me, promise?"
"Yeah. I will."
She was a good person. But that was it. Han Seol's negative mindset had long rejected kindness. She hung up and stared blankly at her monitor. It was already dawn; time for school.
'Yeah... at least focus on studies...'
Finals were coming soon. Exams had been secondary before, but priorities shifted. She grabbed Suhyeon's notes. Come to think of it, there was someone who liked her. Someone who liked a mess like me... no good reason to.
She left her room. Cold wind cooled her lingering heat. Time to sort it all out. Live realistically. Label this her immature phase and compromise with reality. Her sigh met the chill air, forming vapor. Han Seol followed the smoke that seemed about to vanish.
At the lecture hall entrance. A bag on the seat next to hers meant her senior had arrived. Whatever. Han Seol turned on her phone and started typing an email. To notify she'd take a break. And to apologize. To him, who'd held expectations for her, her one and only fan.
And then.
"...?"
An alarm rang.