Idol (1)
Rie's sudden email fiasco wrapped up without too much drama, all things considered. She'd sent a long reply that seemed to show she got what I was saying. Most of it was just apologies piled on apologies, but I'd managed to calm her down enough to put out the immediate fire.
Now, what I needed to focus on were finals and her second audition. Finals weren't a big worry—I'd made previewing and reviewing a habit. But I did have to make those summary notes I'd promised Han Seol. I'd already forgotten half of what we'd covered, so a bit of studying was in order. Still, it wasn't anything to sweat over. You pick up the knack for note-taking as you go, and I was pretty confident in my organizing skills anyway.
Which meant I could pour everything into Rie's audition right now. If she just did her usual stream, passing would be a long shot. Hell, even making it through the first round had been called a miracle for good reason. And there was a prerequisite: fix that timid side of hers. That was the core of this challenge.
I was skeptical about her pulling it off in just three weeks. People don't change easily without some kind of trigger. I'd been through it myself, and I figured most folks knew that too. So my goal was simple: help her start changing within those three weeks. That was it.
When I got to the lecture hall, I spotted my seatmate's hollow-eyed stare. Looked like she hadn't slept again—something must've been up. I walked over, set my bag down with a thud.
She turned at the noise, our eyes met, and she gave a quick, slight bow. Last time, she'd seemed on guard for some reason, but now she looked way more relaxed. Probably because of that day at the cafe. Yeah, makes sense—if you're sitting alone with someone at a cafe, not even greeting them would be awkward as hell.
I waved back like always.
"Something go down again?"
"..."
She curled up a bit at my question, like she was mulling something over hard, then cautiously spoke up.
"...Sunbae."
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something I'm curious about?"
Her words caught me off guard. I hadn't expected her to come to me for advice. Meant she was opening up, right? Couldn't help but feel a little proud—my shoulders even lifted a bit.
"Shoot."
"...Sunbae, you're super sociable, so you must have tons of friends and underclassmen who know you."
Sudden compliment? It was so out of left field that I got flustered. What was she getting at, starting like that?
"You probably text a lot too, right?"
"Eh... now and then?"
Just enough to keep relationships smooth.
"Th-then... do friends ever text all day? Like good morning greetings, or asking what they're having for lunch?"
"Hmm, doubt it. That'd feel like riding the friend-crush wave or straight-up dating territory—kinda burdensome, right? Hell, it'd probably be creepy from the jump."
"...Th-that's what it is?!"
Bam!
She slammed the desk and shot up. Good thing no one was around, or I'd have been mortified too. I cleared my throat to signal her to chill.
"Nah, friends usually just hit up for plans sometimes, or when they're bored. Even that doesn't last forever."
She sank back down, trembling with embarrassment, her shoulders slumping instantly.
"Burden... scary..."
"What's this about all of a sudden?"
"Friends... that's the thing."
You don't have any. Almost slipped out. With all the goodwill I'd built up, that would've tanked it right back to zero.
"If you wanna get close to someone, distance matters."
"Distance?"
Anyone could tell this was about her, so I decided to drop a hint.
"Think about it. If someone suddenly gets in your face, you gonna throw your arms open? Nah. So, distance. Gauge how far you are from them and approach accordingly. Everything has steps—relationships too."
"...Distance."
"Yeah. Don't rush it. Relationships build up over time. Pile too much too fast, it collapses midway, or you get greedy and overstack, and boom—back to square one."
Explaining this like it was grade-school stuff to a junior not much younger than me felt kinda embarrassing. But Han Seol tilted her head, seriously pondering, then slowly turned her gaze my way.
"So, like, right now, are you keeping enough distance from me, sunbae?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"And if I seemed okay with it, you'd get closer?"
"Probably? As long as it doesn't feel pushy."
This wasn't the kind of question you just answer straight. Saying "Nah, this is perfect" might've hurt her feelings.
She twitched her eyebrows faintly, her expression turning subtle. Made me feel like the bad guy.
"Within the bounds of permission, you said."
"Yeah, I know. I get it..."
How well did she "get it" to emphasize it twice? I let out a sigh and cracked a wry smile.
With her man-hating vibes and zero girl friends, what did she really know? It was those pushy jerks hitting on her that were the problem. How bad must her guy issues be to keep this distance from even me? Still, someone had to look out for her. Who else if not me? Girl couldn't even measure social distance without friends.
Han Seol wasn't just an annoying underclassman anymore—she was one I had to take care of, shortcomings and all. Watching her stare blankly at the blackboard, I made up my mind.
Sunbae's right. Han Seol was struck by his advice. Here she was rejecting guys on sight, yet doing the exact same thing herself. Putting herself in their shoes gave her chills.
Her first fan had helped and guided her so much that she'd gotten carried away for a bit. Now she finally regretted her mistake. She was grateful for the viewer who kept tabs on her, offering kind advice even now. And for the socially awkward sunbae who looked out for her, explaining everything from one to ten.
It stung knowing he liked her but she was ignoring it. Still, she didn't want to lose their connection. Selfish as it was, she shoved the feeling down.
Propping her chin, she glanced at him staring at the blackboard. He looked pretty reliable right now. Looking back, no guys had hit on her when she was with sunbae. Maybe they figured she was taken, but she credited him big time.
Always just taking help. Was there nothing she could do for him? What do guys even like? New worries bloomed—ones she'd never considered before. One thought scattered, sparking another, leaving her confused.
Sunbae likes me, so maybe a date? No, too much—maybe just texting? Would that make him happy?
Feelings were seeping in. Not love, but not negative either. Then she realized how gross her thinking was. Giving leeway without real interest? No different from the creeps she hated.
She shook her head, wishing those thoughts would vanish. She couldn't stand feeling so pathetic.
That's when sunbae looked her way and mouthed, What's up?
Why do you always worry about me? Why do you like me? Why someone like me?
Everyone liked her looks. But it always twisted into ugly emotions. Just sleazy types chasing her exterior.
But he was different. Sure, her looks probably factored in big, but his heart wasn't like the trash she'd known.
Maybe since meeting Jiyeon—or when that viewer started watching—her mindset had shifted. He'd shown her kindness without strings. Woken the emotions she'd locked away. Little by little, she could trust people again.
The Han Seol who'd caged herself was gone. So she'd cherish these bonds. Knowing luck like this wouldn't come twice.
Time passed like that.
Now it was time for Han Seol to climb the next step. She stared at her setup mic. Starting a stream always made her nervous. But she wouldn't back down now. She'd do this herself.
I'm not running anymore.
And as the stream went live...
Viewers: 165
"...Hic."
Her landmark stream's first words? A hiccup.