Was I Short-Sighted?
Was I Short-Sighted?
Silence flowed inside the tent.
Kylon and I were facing each other, but as I didn't know what he wanted to say, I just tilted my head and then pressed my lips together, urging him to speak his next words.
He suddenly came and, after spending a night with Agnes, said he wanted to change his mind, as if a new wind had blown. Honestly, what could I say to him?
If I were going to nag him, I would have done it a long time ago.
Looking at him, who clearly had his own pace, it was obvious that if he decided not to do something, he wouldn't do it, no matter what I said.
But if, in the midst of all that, he asked me why I agreed so easily, what should I say to Kylon?
I had nothing to say.
So I kept my mouth shut, and perhaps because of that, Kylon also sighed and just looked at me, calculating something.
How much time had passed? Without a clock, it felt like a long time. If I went outside the tent, everyone might be getting ready for bed.
The moon was full, and the night was waning. There were definitely two women waiting to see when I would come out of the Hero's tent.
So, wanting to leave quickly, I carefully broke the silence.
"...If it bothers you, it's right not to do it."
Agnes cried, he said. It might have been because Kylon tried to force the conditioning too much. It was also possible that he skipped lines that should have been said step-by-step because he couldn't memorize all the game's scripts, or perhaps he just overheard something that was almost glossed over with "The night has passed."
So, if he heard something and his heart was greatly swayed by it, I wouldn't push him any further.
But it seemed something still lingered for Kylon, as he frowned and let out a heavy sigh.
"You, haa... What am I going to do with you?"
Hearing those words, for some reason, I felt a sigh escape me, like 'huh'.
It was a strange feeling, as he seemed to have given up on me, declared he was abandoning the conditioning strategy, yet he was still agonizing over not being able to send me home and not being able to grant my wishes.
Still, it's better than him saying, "Well, now I'll be sleeping with Linda, Agnes, and Flora, so I don't need you anymore." So, I guess I'll just say I feel good.
I couldn't bring myself to say I was okay.
Because it was no different from trampling on my desire to go home.
I was just pretending to be okay, and it was no different from giving up.
So, I gave a small nod and simply tried to leave cautiously.
"I don't know. If you find a way later, let me know..."
"Veronica."
But just as I was about to turn and leave, he called my name and stopped me.
Not expecting him to call me suddenly, I blinked a few times, then lifted my momentarily tilted gaze to look at Kylon's face.
"...Do you know how the Hero's power increases through sex?"
To his sudden question about the game's mechanics, I shrugged and asked back.
"I don't know. I haven't tried it, and wasn't it just something that happened as much as you did the conditioning?"
I was arbitrarily brought here right before the game download, so I don't know how the Hero's power increases.
I only knew that you build up favorability, then proceed to sex, and while having sex, you condition them, and in that way, you increase your power by manipulating the other heroines to your liking.
"It's not conditioning itself, but filling up the favorability score to increase power. Conditioning just allows you to fill that favorability quickly."
Kylon shook his head at my words and explained.
And then he slowly moved his lips, continuing his words.
"...Although it's inefficient and a long way around, it might still be a method."
"So, since conditioning is hard, you'll just switch to a harem route?"
"Well, something like that."
I also thought, 'What's this guy who played a conditioning game thinking?', but since I couldn't equate the characters I saw beyond the text in the game with the person I was directly facing, I ultimately just groaned and nodded.
Yes, if that's the case, then that's how it is.
Thinking that and saying 'okay', I was about to leave when Kylon stared intently at me.
"Are you... okay? The longer we take, the harder the adventure might become."
I wondered why he was staring like that, but what he spoke of was concern for me.
Hearing his voice, I felt my mind go blank.
Was it because I never dreamed he would worry about me this much?
But I was fine. I shrugged my shoulders and put on an indifferent expression.
I didn't know about the hymen's existence, but my abilities were fully intact, to the point where I was certain they had already returned.
In that fleeting moment, I found myself deep in thought.
Wait, it's going to get harder from now on?
Right, the guy who used to fill up favorability with conditioning sex now says he'll slowly build power with pure love sex—no, harem sex. It became clear to me that the growth of both the Hero's power and the heroines' powers would naturally slow down.
If that's the case, will I be in danger more often from now on?
Is that why Kylon is worrying so much?
As I was seriously pondering, Kylon let out a 'hmm' sound, then cautiously opened his mouth.
"...If we encounter monsters on the road, there's nothing we can do, but for essential quests or when entering dungeons, would you mind staying in a safe place for a while? Since you've lost your powers anyway, your trauma should also be less."
Kylon seemed to have thought a lot about various things before speaking, but upon hearing his words, I felt my mind go blank.
Among the thoughts that turned white like a blank sheet, the first one that came to mind was, "No."
Now that my powers had returned, my trauma was back to exactly what it was before.
Yes, a state where I would tremble with anxiety if I wasn't sure Kylon would protect me nearby.
A state where I might have to return beyond that iron gate again.
Should I just accept that?
How should I react here to get through this properly?
Should I tell him the truth, that my abilities have actually returned, and follow him? If I did that, he might say, "Then let's try piercing it one more time," or he might even assault my body, claiming that just piercing the hymen with a finger wasn't enough.
But if I didn't say anything out of fear, he would likely choose to separate me from difficult situations and fight with a clear conscience.
In fact, if he considered me a hindrance, he might even abandon me.
After much deliberation, I felt the clinking sensation of the rosary in my sleeve.
The rosary was so large, with five decades, that I had wrapped it around my wrist several times to wear it as a bracelet. The moment I remembered it, a good idea seemed to strike me, so I subtly curved my lips upward and racked my brain to appeal my usefulness.
In the end, no matter what, I had to appeal my usefulness. To avoid being abandoned, to avoid being left behind, I had to do all sorts of crazy things.
Thinking that, I took out the rosary from my wrist and showed it.
"They say I can use my powers again if I just pray properly."
The rosary I casually tossed between Kylon and me created silence.
Kylon looked at it, thinking, 'What is this?', then stared silently. Perhaps sensing it was something used in a Cathedral, he let out a 'hmm' sound.
Then he immediately looked at me with suspicious eyes.
"Who told you that?"
"Th-the Bishop-nim."
Startled for a moment, I stammered a bit, but it was still okay.
It's possible to use power through prayer, meaning if I just properly exude faith.
As someone who was irreligious, I couldn't suddenly believe in God extremely, but if I gradually borrowed God's power, I might genuinely come to believe in God.
But contrary to my hopes, Kylon poked at something I hadn't expected.
"No, that's not right. Isn't it strange that you can borrow God's power after losing your hymen? You've also lost the Power of a Saint, so there's no way..."
No, it wasn't that I hadn't thought of it; it was more like, 'Was I just too short-sighted?'
Wait, wasn't it that everyone could borrow power just by praying?
Wouldn't he just dismiss me as useless then? No, more than that, I had to pray he wouldn't immediately press me about whether my powers had returned.
Maybe it would be better to just let it go for now and then throw a tantrum to follow him when the time comes.
As I thought that, feeling the cold sweat trickling down my back, Kylon spoke softly.
"Well, since he couldn't imagine you'd lost your hymen, he probably said you could use your power through prayer. It won't work."
"Haha... Is that so?"
I thought I had averted the crisis with a bitter laugh, but...
Kylon's voice soon came, cold.
"By the way, I have a question... How did you prove you were a Saintess?"
Damn it, bringing up the Bishop-nim was a mistake in itself.
When I met the Bishop-nim, Kylon had just sat there blankly, and everything he knew was what I told him. So it wasn't unreasonable for him to be curious about what happened when I went into the room with the Bishop-nim back then.
As I swallowed hard, Kylon's gaze changed.
"Wait a minute, you..."
And then the words followed.
"...Take it off."
In the oppressive atmosphere, I could only stare at him with a terrified expression.
But he continued to stare at me, showing no sign of backing down.