Isn't That a Character?
Isn't That a Character?
I thought it would only be enjoyable. But something kept bothering me; no matter how much sex I had, no matter how much I tried to drown myself in lust, the one who kept coming to mind was Veronica, who wasn't even with me.
Where on earth is this discomfort coming from?
Wasn't I the one who desired to intertwine bodies, feel warmth, and be drenched in bodily fluids, seeking pleasure?
Because I was a woman, I couldn't have proper sex and had been repeating pseudo-sex using tools, but I was able to escape that cycle for a while, and I thought I could truly enjoy it.
A man's bodily fluids, his semen, evoked a sense of conquest, and with the conviction that I could enjoy being on top of a woman, I played with my dick as I pleased.
However, the feeling after playing around wasn't very good.
My glabellum furrowed on its own.
I trudged through the quiet inn and headed to the bathroom.
After filling the bathtub in the bathroom with water and adjusting the temperature, I immersed myself, finally feeling like I could calm down.
「Ha.」
Behind the splashing sound of water, my hollow sigh escaped.
When I played the game, the word 'Conditioning' certainly didn't sound this alluring, but now that I was doing it myself, I felt like trash.
That sensation, which I hadn't known when controlling from an observer's perspective, now came to me anew.
I know that having sex through Conditioning, taming them to suit individual preferences, helps with growth.
But the thought that I had hurt someone to gain dominance in such a sexual relationship made me feel truly strange.
No, rather than 'someone,' isn't she just a character?
No, I don't know.
I listened to her voice, saw her up close, and touched her repeatedly, but she was no different from a human.
But why do I keep thinking that all the women right in front of me are fake?
Is it because I know that the original source of this world is a game?
Or is it because I'm thinking that the present moment is too much like a dream?
Is it perhaps because this story is too far removed from reality, so I can't easily accept it and just think everyone is fake?
It was just frustrating.
Everything somehow felt like my fault.
I just kept wondering if I should go back and hold Agnes.
Should I give up on Conditioning? Can't I just fight alone?
In fact, I even wondered if I was the only one who needed to get stronger.
But that was also a very difficult task.
I know well that Linda, Agnes, and Flora themselves are strong, but when it comes down to the very end, it's almost like I'm fighting alone, so ultimately, it's right that I should get stronger.
No matter how much I pondered, the thoughts wouldn't leave my head.
And so, in the end, I just groaned and tore at my hair.
I want to give up everything and just enjoy lust here.
But I felt like even enjoying that lust wasn't allowed for me.
It's all because of Veronica.
Veronica's presence was too prominent, making me unable to give my all to anything.
If I had been alone, I would have surely been tempted by this world and just played around with my body as I pleased.
But because she exists, I'm forced to confront the fact that this world is fake.
Furthermore, I was on the verge of feeling that I had to advance towards the ending under the pretext of freeing her from this world where she had suffered.
I just want to leave Veronica alone and live immersed in this world by myself, but if I actually do that, I don't know what will happen to Veronica, so I only feel frustrated.
Chwaaaak!
Leaving the bathtub behind, which made splashing sounds as the water tried to follow my body but eventually slipped and poured out, I dried myself with a towel. To feel clean, I roughly dried my wet body, shook my head, and walked back down the hallway, only to hear a sobbing sound from beyond the door.
Hearing that it was Agnes's crying, I gritted my teeth, Eudeuk.
She's a game character, and this world is clearly far from real, but I couldn't understand why it made me feel such emotions.
Why are you doing this to me?
Clenching my fists tightly, I eventually had to make a choice.
But I had already chosen my answer, and I grabbed the doorknob and twisted it.
Beolkkeok, the door swung open, and sure enough, Agnes was there, crying on the bed with her knees hugged to her chest.
She was a Noble's Daughter, raised nobly, so it just pained my heart to think why I had made her cry like that.
After all, isn't it human nature for one's heart to soften when seeing someone who likes you cry?
「Heueut.」
「Agnes.」
Saying that, I sat down on the edge of her bed and looked at her.
I gently reached out my hand, regretting having already made her cry, and thought of words to fix it.
「I'm sorry. I was inconsiderate.」
「No, no... I, Heueut.」
Forgetting that she had been speaking informally, I just faced the Agnes who had returned to her original self, and I could only sigh with a bitter taste in my mouth and groan.
「Heo,」 I exhaled, and then groaned, 「Kkeueung.」
「No.」
Saying that, I carefully reached out, grabbed one of the hands wrapped around her legs, and gently pulled.
And she didn't refuse my touch, carefully offering her hand.
I just caressed her delicate hand repeatedly, trying to comfort her.
Even though I knew that doing this would make all the Conditioning and everything else disappear, my heart softened, and I just tried to comfort her.
「...I'm sorry.」
「......」
Baseurak.
The sound of the blanket rustling was heard, and then I pulled her towards me and hugged her tightly.
On a tired morning, I opened my eyes and realized that Agnes and I had fallen asleep in the same bed.
Because Agnes was there, nestled tightly in my arms, fast asleep.
「...Eueung.」
She was a lady who wouldn't be strange to be loved by anyone, and I wondered if I was messing with such a girl as I pleased. Conversely, I also wondered if I was worrying needlessly, since it was natural for her to end up with me in the game anyway.
What's so bad about Conditioning in a game that's about Conditioning?
I thought that, but in the end, there was too big a difference between text arbitrarily seducing women and choosing options at crucial moments, and me directly recalling that text and speaking it aloud.
Conditioning, and even humiliation content, are enjoyed as vicarious satisfaction precisely because they're unlikely to happen in reality, but I suddenly realized that to actually do it, I'd have to be half out of my mind.
「Are you awake?」
「Eueung, yeah...」
I carefully brushed back the bangs of Agnes, who had opened her sleepy eyes, and gazed into her blue eyes, which showed me a faint smile with a lovely, seemingly pleased expression.
She really was beautiful.
I also wondered if I was more drawn to her because her appearance was so hard to find in reality.
She had just become an adult, showing a youthful innocence, and the atmosphere of her having just known a man for the first time gave me a strange sense of immorality.
Gaining a 'first' always adds thrill, so I savored the feeling of having taken someone's first experience in their life.
After making my body and the bed clean with Cheonggyeol Mabeop and letting out a deep sigh, Agnes, as if not wanting to get up, rustled and placed her hand on my waist.
It seemed like she was acting cute, telling me not to get up, and I felt like I might just burst out laughing, Pik.
「What's wrong?」
「...Isn't it, not time to get up yet?」
「That's true.」
I eventually decided to indulge Agnes's wish, lay back down the body I was about to raise, and hugged her.
Even as I felt this warm body temperature enveloping my entire body, this atmosphere that asserted her as a human, there was still a part of me wondering, 'Is this truly real?'
Skin touched skin, and unable to control the man's penis that had been erect since morning, I pressed it against her body and caressed her smooth back.
Agnes, startled by the dick touching her lower abdomen, opened her eyes wide and peeked into the gap between our pressed bodies, then mumbled something before slowly moving her hand downwards.
「So energetic first thing in the morning...?」
The hand that had been covering my waist caressed my thigh, and then, as if threateningly, it began to touch the dick that stood stiffly between my legs, poking my lower abdomen.
It felt poignant, as if she, who had just lost her virginity, hadn't forgotten the sadness of last night and was desperately trying not to face it again.
Could this be the heroine's struggle not to be abandoned?
「It's a physiological phenomenon.」
「Heut.」
Rather than feeling awkward, I, with my complicated feelings, just mumbled and looked into her eyes, without anything to say.
Even while lying down, she raised her head as if looking up at me, then carefully changed her position.
「I, I'll relieve it for you.」
「...You don't have to.」
「No, I'll do it.」
Saying that, Agnes laid my body down on the bed, then climbed on top of me and slowly began to sway her hips.
At that sight, I let out a sigh, 「Heo,」 and then simply grabbed her buttocks.