Sounds Heard Even With Covered Ears
Sounds Heard Even With Covered Ears
Fear washes over me. It covered my body in its most grotesque and horrifying form.
The memory of a blade piercing my skin, the sensation of trembling, stained with blood, remained and became fear, and that fear, unable to be shaken off, became trauma.
I didn't want this to happen, but I feel utterly helpless about what has become of me.
With the body of a frail woman, even a man considered robust—no, even a man of the same build as me—would find it hard to win; that was the current reality.
That's why I was afraid, and the worry of not knowing when or who would attack me was driving me insane.
Who will save me? Who will come for me?
Since I can't know any of that, I'm just scared.
The metal object touching my throat choked off my breath.
I felt life draining from my body, and its erratic rhythm made my body twitch.
Gush. Gush.
What dwelled in my cooling body was convulsions,
and what they brought forth was death.
Even as I bled too much and life slowly drained away, the itch didn't disappear, but the moment life completely vanished, I could no longer feel the itch.
And then, I slowly sank.
The sensation of sinking deep into water, just like I had felt before.
Sounds grew distant as if I were underwater, and along with them, all my senses faded away.
Blackout.
And when light returned, all I saw was a sea of blood.
The wooden floor was stained with sloshing blood, but there was no metallic smell of blood.
At the same time, the blood didn't clot, remaining liquid and soaking my body.
The pure white Saintess's Robes were dyed bright red, and everything around me was also stained red.
Shaking off the dripping liquid, I, with my wet body, slowly moved and leaned my back against the wall.
Why am I doing this?
A normal person would have died, so why did I do such a thing?
I couldn't understand myself at all, so my glabellum furrowed, but without a word, the answer flashed clearly and simply through my mind.
Since I wouldn't die anyway, and because this persistent itch, this fear, felt less severe than death, it seemed I had tried to die once.
Look at this.
It feels less itchy than before, doesn't it?
I exhaled a trembling breath, and holding onto my flickering consciousness, I grabbed my bangs and swept them back as if combing them.
My wet hair soon spewed blood onto my body, which in turn re-moistened my already red-stained, drying clothes.
As I stared blankly at that sight, someone's chattering voice drifted from beyond that door, as if quite some time had passed.
Other guests' voices came and went, but the voices that sounded distinctly familiar to my ears were not entirely new; they were Kylon and Linda chattering.
-Linda, aren't you losing too much?
-Kylon is just too strong. Maybe it's because he's the Hero, so he learns quickly.
-Then, since the winner gets to do whatever they want again today...
-Eugh.
Kylon, who seemed excited at the thought of getting it on already, and Linda, who sounded like she was either enjoying it or deliberately going easy on him, made me let out a hollow laugh.
Even after hearing those voices, the crawling itch on my body had not disappeared.
"......."
Isn't it absurd?
That he saved me first, and that my body, simply because he was protecting me from the King, welcomed Kylon without even listening to me.
Isn't it truly laughable?
Honestly, even when I want to be alone, the moment I am, my body screams that I'm alone, that I'm scared because I'm alone, and begs for someone to stay by my side.
My empty eyes wandered aimlessly.
The puddle of still-wet blood created an unnecessary sense of dread.
In my hand was the blade that had emerged from my throat, a knife.
Since it wasn't itchy at this moment, there was no immediate use for the knife, so I simply tossed it aside.
The knife, rolling weakly across the floor, rolled with my blood still on it.
Clang, even after hearing that sound, there was no way to rouse my dazed mind, so I simply closed my eyes.
And soon, what I heard was moaning.
The cries of a woman, drenched in pleasure, coming from beyond the wall.
-Hoo! Ahh!
Even though I was hearing those sounds, no particular thoughts came to mind, making me wonder if I had finally lost all sensation.
There was a time when I, too, yearned to experience a life like that.
Wasn't the reason I tried to download the game precisely because I wanted to experience Kylon's life, even indirectly?
It might be obvious, but for a brief moment, the narratives of characters made of text were nothing more than mere entertainment to me.
Each character had their own story, and seeing them declare, "I am such a three-dimensional character," it was natural for that to further invigorate the indirect experience.
So I would look at it and think, "Ah, so you're that kind of character." I wanted to entice, enjoy, and then turn off the game.
But what about now?
Am I not just listening to the sounds coming from the next room?
I endured the pain, but I received neither apology nor reward for it.
-Huuuuh!
-You're nothing but a bitch!
-Ahh! Ah, a bitch, you say...
So, as I listened to those voices, my mind seemed to go blank.
I, who had merely been leaning against the wall with my legs stretched out, bent my knees and hugged them, then leaned my upper body forward and curled up.
And after burying my face in my knees, I covered my ears.
If I listen to these sounds, self-loathing and resentment burst forth.
If I don't listen to the sounds, this fear and itchiness flow over me, so what should I do?
I don't want to live in such agony anymore, so why must I live this kind of life?
What on earth was the reason I had to wake up in this body?
Moaning and trembling, my eyes fell upon a red Potion, gently radiating warmth, placed before me on the puddle of blood.
A single Recovery Potion made from my blood, which had no metallic smell.
It was a glass bottle, but because blood had been splattered on its surface a few times, I could see red liquid beaded on it.
I, who had been staring at it, bit my trembling lips tightly and lowered my head once more.
-Hngh! Aang! Aah!
-You liked this, didn't you?
-Keck, hngh, kkeueuk!
There's no escaping the sounds that reach me even when I cover my ears.
Should I envy Kylon, be jealous of him, resent him, or be grateful to him? I didn't know any of it; I merely listened to their cries of pleasure.
May the moon wax and wane.
May the sun slowly greet tomorrow.
Chirp, chirp.
The chirping that announced the dawn echoed in my head.
And after that, as my dazed mind awakened, I realized.
The fact that I had stayed up all night, unable to sleep, listening to the moans and cries of pleasure from the man and woman throughout the night.
I reached out with a trembling hand and roughly wiped the blood off the knife, which I had carelessly tossed aside, onto my clothes.
The thought crossed my mind that the blade might be damaged, but fortunately, the blood flowing from my body seemed to be different from others', and perhaps because of that, the knife's edge didn't seem to be damaged.
I lowered my weary gaze, and glancing at where the knife's sheath was, a leather sheath, unstained by blood, came into view.
I was exhausted.
I hadn't really done anything, yet it was almost entirely due to my own trauma, me freaking out alone and getting exhausted alone.
Perhaps because of that, I just felt depressed.
Helplessness washed over me, and since I had no strength in my body, I even worried about what would happen if I ended up being a nuisance to the other party members today.
Thinking that showing myself in this state to others wouldn't be a good situation, I looked around.
But cruelly, among the things given to me, there were no spare clothes.
That said, going to find Kylon, it was clear Linda would be sleeping next to him, so I was afraid to knock on the door of the next room for no reason.
Even if they slept and woke up at set times like in a game, they might wake up early depending on my actions, so in the end, I was just facing a bleak morning.
"...Ugh."
Because I had stabbed my throat, and because I had stayed up all night again, my hoarse voice scraped against my rough throat and burst out like a moan.
The completely dried blood had stiffened my clothes, making movement uncomfortable, but enduring that, when I finally managed to get up, my limbs felt shaky.
I held my throbbing head and tried to steady my wavering vision, but it seemed that staying up all night with open eyes, doing nothing, had been a great shock both physically and mentally, as my body hardly obeyed me.
After slowly walking out, leaning my hand on the wall, I picked up the blood-made Potions that were on the now-dry floor, one by one, and put them into my intact bag, then put the knife in as well.
Although it was stained with blood, should I consider it fortunate that there was no metallic smell of blood?
Unable to understand anything at all, I let out a moan, then swallowed hard and headed for the door.
And so, I went out, and headed towards the room next door where Kylon and Linda were likely having happy dreams, and cautiously raised my hand.
After deliberating for several minutes whether to knock on the door or not, the thought that it would be awkward if someone woke up and saw me in the morning came to mind, so I quickly made a decision and moved my hand.
Tap, tap, tap.
The clear sound of knocking on the door reached my ears, and I also heard rustling sounds from beyond the door.
-...Who is it?
It was Kylon's voice.
Still, I felt relieved that Kylon had woken up early.
If it had been Linda, she might have looked at my presence in this situation with displeasure.
I didn't want to, but I might be misunderstood, and I wanted no part in a fight over 'stealing Kylon' or anything like that, so I let out a sigh of relief and cautiously spoke.
Just in case Linda had also woken up.
"It's me, Veronica. Hero-nim, do you have a moment?"
-Alright.
When I spoke softly, neither too high nor too low, Kylon immediately accepted my request without asking anything further.
...Wait, what would Kylon say if he saw me like this?
The Saintess's Robes, which should have been pure white, were now dyed bright red to the point where there was almost no white left, so I also worried about startling him, thinking he might be horrified.
But it wasn't as if I could greet him naked, so I simply made a bitter expression and went into my room.
The moment I entered the room, I heard Kylon come out into the hallway and follow me into my room.
The moment the closed door opened again, Kylon's stern expression turned towards me.