I Could Escape the Itch
I Could Escape the Itch
As I sat in the dining hall for breakfast, Kylon returned from somewhere and handed me something.
I cautiously moved my sleep-deprived, hollow eyes to look at it, and soon realized it was a medicine bottle.
"...Why are you giving this to me?"
"It's a Stamina Potion."
"Thank you. I'll take it."
So Kylon is the one who looks out for me, after all.
It was a small glass bottle, about the size of a yogurt drink, but since it was a Stamina Potion from a game, its effects were excellent.
I watched the cap pop open, then gulped it down and let out a sigh, careful not to attract anyone else's attention.
Though I couldn't see it in numbers, I definitely felt a bit of my fatigue disappear, and my slightly dim vision seemed to brighten.
After letting out a sigh and regaining my composure, things I hadn't paid attention to before began to catch my eye.
But no matter how much I pulled myself together, the moans lingering in my head didn't go away.
I don't have a hobby of peeking, and I didn't actually see anything, but hearing the sounds of sex from the next room made self-loathing wash over me.
Especially if it wasn't some complete stranger, but a comrade in my party.
Of course, I don't know them well enough to care, but even if it's an adult game, isn't it too easy for someone to be conquered in just three days?
No, maybe it's just the rapid favorability score increase possible in an adult game.
Clutching my throbbing head, I glanced at Linda, who was picking at her food as if embarrassed, and then at Kylon, who was drinking water with an empty plate in front of him, as if nothing had happened.
More than this atmosphere, I was uncomfortable with the situation where I, as the Saintess, was keeping my distance from others and couldn't even speak freely.
Of course, it had been a while since I'd talked to people, but if this was a world where anonymity was guaranteed, there was nothing I couldn't say.
Even today, after eating tasteless food, I wasn't in a good mood.
It was just that, little by little, my interest in this world had been waning.
I was dragged here against my will, subjected to torture disguised as research for immortality, and adapting to a woman's body was difficult. After forming a party, I was the only one on the outside, and the Hero-nim kept jerking off to me, and now he was outright fucking other women, making me wonder if there was any real meaning to all this.
Of course, I had to go back.
Back to that time when I hated the outside world and my room was my entire universe.
Wandering around in a place like this didn't suit my temperament.
After leaving the dining hall and everyone was packing their belongings, I realized I had nothing, so I cautiously spoke to Kylon.
"...Hero-nim, I'm sorry, but could I ask you a favor?"
Conscious of the others' gazes, I spoke in the most Saintess-like tone I could manage, and Kylon naturally nodded, looking at me.
"Yes, of course. What is it?"
"I want to have my own belongings too..."
"......?"
His expression subtly shifted at my reply.
It seemed to be a look that said, 'You have my Inventory, do you really need your own stuff?'
Of course, there was nothing I could say to that, but Agnes, Flora, and Linda all carried their own clothes and useful items separately, so I envied the advantage of not needing the Hero-nim's permission.
So, wanting my own bag, I didn't back down and just stared at Kylon's face.
Kylon then scanned his surroundings once, and perhaps finding it awkward to refuse, he grumbled before finally nodding.
"Alright. Where should we go?"
"Ah, I need to buy a bag first."
I felt a little sorry for the others, but it was something I really wanted, so I couldn't help it.
Instead of heading straight to our destination, I took a detour to a general store, bought a bag I could use, and simultaneously acquired five empty glass bottles with the allowance Kylon had given me.
The clinking glass bottles were round but had flat bottoms, truly resembling potion bottles.
At the same time, I also got a small knife so I wouldn't need Kylon's permission.
Even if I was a Saintess, did it make sense to have no weapon at all?
After all the shopping was done, we moved again, heading to another place.
To find the quest for the special item obtainable in this village.
From what Kylon had vaguely told me, this village apparently required a gem to awaken the Holy Sword.
Awakening the Holy Sword as we passed through villages and simultaneously collecting conditioning tools was the goal of this game, so it seemed convenient not to deviate from that quest line.
Wait, so the Black Market that sold Hypnosis Tools before wasn't just not opening, but it didn't open because I hadn't completed the quest?
Recalling the memory of my past struggles, I suddenly felt a surge of anger and wanted to say something to Kylon, but there were too many eyes watching, and thinking about it, Kylon had only played the game once, so I just gave up and let out an invisible sigh.
After hearing about the incident in this village and receiving the quest, Kylon made a troubled expression, then scratched the back of his head and looked at the party before speaking.
"...Lately, a giant bug that's been gnawing at this forest has appeared."
"Ugh, I hate bugs..."
It was Flora who reacted to the mention of bugs.
Behind Flora, who clearly looked disgusted, Agnes's expression hardened, while Linda looked at Kylon as if it didn't matter.
Honestly, I also felt a slight aversion to bugs—no, a strong aversion—so I didn't particularly want to get involved in the fight.
But what about my body's constitution?
If I already feel that my safety isn't guaranteed due to trauma, if the pain of someone digging into my body again comes to mind, my body starts to itch.
And then, even if I didn't want to, I would self-harm.
Even this morning, Kylon seemed happy after having sex with Linda, but then seeing me in my hollow state, he looked apologetic and flustered, didn't he?
When will this self-harm, which quickly stains my white clothes red whenever I feel a little anxious, ever stop?
Because of this damned body's trauma, which makes me depend on it against my will, I couldn't not follow.
I guess I have to go after all. As I carefully let out a deep breath with that thought, Kylon also mumbled, as if understanding my feelings.
"This monster might be a bit strong, so let's prepare thoroughly before we go."
"Okay!"
Agnes and Flora tilted their heads at Linda's voice, which sounded like she was happy with anything Kylon said, but it was less like her usual cheerful self and more like a deeper, more affectionate display between her and Kylon.
Realizing this, I glanced at Linda, then looked at Kylon.
Wow, she's really fallen for him.
I inwardly marveled, thinking that he made her cry so much yesterday, and now he'd finally succeeded in conquering her.
Well, considering this is a corruption game and she's still in the girlfriend position without being corrupted, it could be seen as just a story about raising favorability so far, but that was clearly temporary.
As things progressed, there would be a Linda who would submit, obey Kylon, and follow him like a master.
The thought that she would be the first bitch to wag her tail for Kylon made me shake my head as I looked at her.
At times like this, I always envied the Hero-nim's body.
Of course, if I were just wandering around without knowing the strategy or how to clear the game, it would be a bit troublesome, but if someone knowledgeable were helping me, couldn't I have enjoyed this situation in my own way?
After realizing that there was nothing in this seemingly monochrome world that could capture my interest, I was simply doing my best to leave this world and return to my room.
To do that, I had to fulfill my role as the Saintess effectively.
I spent the entire day today shopping for weapons.
Soon the sun set, and after a mediocre dinner, I was once again given a private room.
Kylon and Linda were out training again today. And Agnes and Flora were probably chatting in the room across the way.
And I, sitting alone on my bed, idly scratched my neck and laid out the glass bottles I had bought earlier with Kylon's help.
Many, yet few.
The ambiguous number five lay before me, and I carefully pulled out the knife I had secretly bought behind Kylon's back.
If I was going to be dragged into a world like this, I wished I had just woken up as Kylon and enjoyed it.
That was my honest feeling. I didn't want to live a dependent life with this kind of trauma.
I liked it when someone depended on me, but I didn't want to depend on others due to trauma.
But what's done is done.
It was enviable, but something I couldn't wish for beyond that.
To go back, I would simply continue my work silently for one dream.
Clink.
I placed an empty potion bottle in front of me and set its cap aside.
Then I rolled up my sleeve and placed my hand over it. And I noticed the streaks of blood on my fingernails, from where it had dug into my neck.
Blood usually clots when exposed to oxygen, but when the King experimented on my body before, my blood didn't clot.
So, knowing that my blood was different from others, I tightly gripped the knife I had bought secretly from the Hero-nim in my right hand.
Despite being a Saintess, as a Saintess.
Being irreligious, I had no faith, and because I didn't know how to use my powers, I couldn't prove my usefulness except by self-harming like this.
Still, Kylon said it was difficult, and that the Saintess's powers were needed in the early stages, so I couldn't ignore his words. This was what I had to do.
Since I couldn't use the Saintess's powers, I had to do it this way.
It had been a long time since Kylon had left, and my body seemed to be looking for him, tickling and crying out on its own.
And I just endured the more intense pain that would quell that suffering.
"Ugh...!"
With resolve, my right hand tightened, and at that moment, the blade dug into my right wrist over the empty potion bottle.
My body jolted with a thud of pain, but the blood gushing out quickly filled the potion bottle, splattering everywhere.
The act finally ended after repeating it several times.
The floor of my room in the inn was a pool of blood, and my clothes and body were stained with it, but it was fine.
But there was one thing that wasn't fine.
It itched.
Even after tearing at my wrist with the knife, the sensation of centipedes and bugs crawling on my body intensified.
So, with trembling hands, I plunged the knife into my neck.
"Keheuk."
While I was briefly dead, my body could escape the itch.