Drawing Ever Closer
“Mmm…”
My mind was hazy as sunlight tickled the corners of my eyes. My whole body felt stiff and sore in places.
“Ugh… ah?”
I tossed and turned in bed, then noticed the sheets clinging damply to my skin. Half-asleep, yesterday’s events came flooding back.
— Whiiirrr
— Haah… aaah~
“…Ah!”
I sat bolt upright and scanned the room. Stains still marked the bed, and a dildo lay discarded on the floor. When I climbed out from under the covers, the cool air brushing over my nipples sent a shiver racing down my spine.
“I must have… kept going until I fell asleep naked…”
I had surrendered completely to the intense pleasure, then collapsed from exhaustion without cleaning up. The room was a mess, and a sweet yet sticky scent hung faintly in the air.
“…Thank god Dad came home late…”
I stuffed the sheets and blanket into the washing machine, scrubbed the room thoroughly, and threw open the window, waiting for the cloying smell to escape.
“Why is this so stuck on…”
Dried fluids had hardened into sticky patches on the floor. As I wiped them away, last night’s memories flickered through my mind.
— Yes! Just a little more!
— More… even your breath…
In the haze of masturbation, I had been searching desperately for a warm embrace and someone’s breath against my skin.
Slap—
“You’re insane! Completely insane! Looking for a man?!”
The image of myself seeking a man while I touched myself felt strangely alien. Yet even now, some corner of my heart still remembered that sensation.
“…I have no choice but to be careful for now…”
Once the floor was clean, I picked up the dildo, its surface white and crusted. I pressed the button and it whirred to life, swelling larger. I gauged its size with my hand.
“This huge thing is supposed to go all the way in…”
According to the clerk, it was far longer and thicker than ordinary women’s toys. Judging by how only this one could make me feel anything, anything smaller would probably fall short.
“In the end… that means ordinary people won’t cut it…”
In a normal world it would be hard to find someone like that, but my situation was different.
“There’s already… one right nearby…”
The massive thing I had glimpsed at the cafe came to mind. It would probably fit me perfectly. After all, this was that kind of game…
I flinched.
“…You’re the crazy one… thinking of him first… You should be thinking about holding back!”
I whispered under my breath, trying to snap myself out of it. Deep down, though, I already knew: if I ever fell into it, I wouldn’t be able to refuse.
I finished every bit of cleaning before Dad got home. The moment I stepped outside, I ran straight into him.
“Oh~ A-yeong. Heading to your part-time job?”
“Yeah. Gotta work hard until enrollment.”
“More than that—my daughter’s dressed up pretty today, isn’t she?”
At his words I paused and looked down at my outfit. It wasn’t my usual athletic wear. Tight jeans and a V-neck T-shirt that hinted at my waistline, with a cardigan thrown over the top.
“…How is it? Does it look okay…?”
“Of course~ My daughter looks like a model.”
Dad’s praise made my shoulders lift a little. I walked toward the cafe with a more confident stride.
When I opened the cafe door, the quiet air of an empty shop greeted me.
“Alright… with a fresh mindset…”
I headed to the corner warehouse and set my bag down. The moment I changed into my uniform top, yesterday’s memories brushed past me again.
“No! Focus on work…”
I shook my head hard, shoving the thoughts away, and stepped out to the counter. That was when I felt a presence behind me.
“A-yeong, you’re here for your shift.”
Choi Deok-hun rested a hand lightly on my shoulder as he spoke. Normally I would have brushed it off immediately. Today I couldn’t.
“Euh… a… hello.”
I answered in a trembling voice, twisting my body just enough to put a little distance between us. My fingertips quivered faintly.
“Good. Let’s work hard today too.”
With that, Choi Deok-hun walked over to the coffee machine. I replayed the moment that had just happened. I had meant to be cold and firm… yet my body hadn’t moved the way I wanted.
More than that…
It looked like I was shyly avoiding him!!
My reaction just now might have come across as bashful. Was it because of yesterday’s memories? I hadn’t been able to push away that large, rough hand with cold indifference.
Really… why am I like this!
In an instant, absurd fantasies layered over one another in my head. A man’s breath. The feeling of thick arms wrapping tightly around me. Hot body heat seeping into my skin.
What… with that ugly middle-aged guy…!
I shook my head vigorously. Yet my gaze drifted unconsciously toward Choi Deok-hun. The moment he bent over to straighten his apron… the silhouette of his lower body entered my field of vision for a brief second. The large outline made my face burn. My heart pounded. I hurried to the corner of the counter and lightly slapped my cheeks.
“Get a grip, Park A-yeong. Stop thinking weird things and just work…”
I said the words, but… the silhouette I had just seen kept rising in my mind. At that size… it looked even bigger than the dildo when it was fully activated…
“…What the hell!”
I tried to stop the imagination, but it wouldn’t stop. Like a forbidden thought that only grew stronger the more I told myself not to think it.
“Excuse me a second, coming through.”
Suddenly Choi Deok-hun brushed past me. His body grazed mine from behind—a rough, solid sensation completely different from a woman’s. I held my breath. Even when I tried to pull free, it felt as if something had seized my ankle; I couldn’t move. Like I was slowly sinking into a swamp.
Even while working at the cafe, my body kept brushing against Choi Deok-hun’s. Every contact made me flinch. Keeping my distance the way I used to was growing harder and harder.
“Euh…”
I tried to focus on the work, yet Choi Deok-hun kept entering my field of vision.
No… just work.
I gave a small shake of my head, steeling myself.
“Excuse me?”
A customer’s voice reached me. In that same instant, Choi Deok-hun’s thick arm brushed past my waist.
“…!”
“Excuse me!”
“Ah! Yes… I’m sorry. What did you say?”
When I snapped back to reality, the customer in front of me was glaring.
“If I call you, you answer and take the order! What are you even doing right now?”
“I… I’m sorry. Could you please order again?”
“Seriously, what is this?!”
I could only stamp my feet in place, at a complete loss. Then Choi Deok-hun stepped up from behind and addressed the customer.
“I’m sorry, sir. This one’s only just started working here. How can I help you?”
“I was trying to order a drink and a dessert to go with it.”
Choi Deok-hun handled the service smoothly, as if nothing had happened. I slipped quietly away in the gap.
“This is driving me crazy…”
Maybe it was because the cafe was small. I was already on edge, and constantly bumping into Choi Deok-hun made concentration harder by the minute.
Ding~
“A-yeong~ We’re here.”
“Hi~”
The door opened and Se-yeong and Hui-yeong walked in. As always, they took a seat in the corner. Se-yeong set her bag down and came up to the counter.
“Those two look good together, don’t they?”
I flinched at the voice and looked at the pair. Hui-yeong was beaming, and Se-yeong looked bright as well. Compared to them, I…
“…Yeong-ah…”
I still couldn’t get my head straight and was acting like this…
“A-yeong?”
“Huh?”
“We’re trying to order.”
“Uh… uh?! Americano… was it?”
Se-yeong smiled as she spoke.
“Hui-yeong wants a regular iced latte. I’ll take a lemonade.”
I fumbled with the POS machine. Latte, lemonade… Making mistakes even in front of Se-yeong suddenly made me feel so pathetic. If this was how it was going to be, I would have been better off taking the day off.
“You okay? You don’t look so good today.”
“Ah? No… I just can’t concentrate…”
Se-yeong nodded, then went back to her seat and chatted happily with Hui-yeong. I stole a glance at them. My repeated mistakes had left me shrinking in on myself, and seeing them only made the contrast sharper; I felt even smaller.
“A-yeong, you really can’t focus today, can you?”
Choi Deok-hun came up beside me. His breath brushed lightly against me.
“Yes… it’s a little… hard…”
“Then go to the back and take it easy organizing the stock. I’ll handle things out here.”
He said it and turned toward the counter. I nodded and stepped back. In that moment his thick forearms and legs entered my vision. And then…
“No… don’t think about it.”
I shook my head hard and hurried toward the warehouse.
Inside the warehouse I sorted items one by one, but my heart refused to settle. Yesterday’s memories. Choi Deok-hun’s figure. The string of mistakes I had made today. And Se-yeong and Hui-yeong laughing together. Thoughts tangled and spun inside my head.
“…What should I do…”
I crouched in the corner of the warehouse and stared blankly at the floor for a while. I had no idea how much time had passed.
“A-yeong! We need to close the cafe.”
Choi Deok-hun’s voice called from outside. I jumped and checked my phone. It really was closing time. I scrambled to my feet and went out. The shop was already empty of customers.
“Where’s Se-yeong?”
At my question Choi Deok-hun paused briefly.
“…They left together a little while ago.”
His words brought back the image of the two of them laughing side by side. They had looked so happy. I lowered my head a little.
“I’m… sorry for making so many mistakes today…”
Choi Deok-hun answered evenly.
“It’s fine. If you’re not feeling well, that can happen. Take tomorrow off and come back starting Wednesday.”
He said it and began wiping down the tables with a cloth. I headed for the sink to finish the remaining dishes, but he stopped me.
“You look exhausted today, so go home early and rest. I’ll finish the rest and lock up.”
“Thank you.”
I bowed weakly and headed for the changing room. Inside, I set my bag down and leaned against the wall for a moment, catching my breath with my body sagging.
“Haa… maybe I’ll feel better after some rest…”
I soothed myself and changed out of my uniform top. I brushed back hair that was a little damp with sweat and drew a deep breath.
“Huuup… haa…”
Then Choi Deok-hun’s face rose unbidden in my mind—the way he had stepped in and handled the customers for me today.
“…I can just say thank you, right?”
I settled my thoughts and reached for the changing-room door. At that exact moment—
“A-yeong, good work today.”
Choi Deok-hun’s voice came from the entrance to the changing room. I flinched slightly and stepped out. In his hand was a small piece of chocolate.
“Here… something sweet should help a little.”
He held the chocolate out casually. I hesitated a moment, then took it.
“Thank you… for today.”
He gave a light nod and went back to cleaning the shop. I opened the cafe door and stepped outside. Cool air touched my face. As I walked home I replayed everything that had happened today. My head was a complete mess.
“Today… maybe I’ll just jog lightly through the park before heading in…”
Hoping to clear my tangled thoughts, I turned my steps toward the park.