Humans Are Insidious

Just like that.

The days had been drifting by so thoroughly ordinary, so uneventful, that they made a mockery of ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that lingering unease — and of the very existence of Assistant Manager Kim Min-seo, who'd been spouting nonsense.

"Nnngh…!"

"What now."

Things had been so calm, so unremarkably fine, that lately there hadn't been any real danger or crisis at all. Everything just ambled along at a comfortable, loafing pace.

Which apparently meant that someone needed a little hit of dopamine to break up the tedium of a life that repeated itself, day after day.

"Hnn… what should we make?"

"Do we really have to make something?"

Ah. I was not about to say the bad thing — that last night alone had been more than enough of a dopamine hit. Bring that up and I'd catch an elbow to the ribs.

"But doing the same things over and over is boring. There's no fun in it. Life just goes stale."

"I'm fine just eating on time and reading a little."

I was the type who could squeeze enough dopamine out of the small, insignificant things even in a life of pure repetition. Harin was a fundamentally different person. It was obvious just from her personality.

Of course, I couldn't deny that thanks to her, our little nest had undergone unprecedented development and grown abundant in all sorts of ways. But that restlessness of hers — the way she couldn't sit still unless she was accomplishing something — was something I couldn't quite understand.

"Oppa, your threshold is weirdly high. How can a person be like that? Look at the state of the world."

"I don't know either."

"Me neither."

Still, if you really thought about it, the world only progressed because of people like Harin. If it were populated entirely by slackers like me, we'd still be a species that farmed and fished and called it a civilization.

"Ah, maybe it's because you're an orphan."

"Hey hey hey. That's banned. Seriously banned."

So I always think it, and think it again: ending up with Harin was a stroke of divine luck. Don't forget. Repeat it. Brainwash yourself.

And so, for that reason, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Harin was pacing around the nest, inspecting every corner for anything we might need. Like someone desperately hoping a deficiency would turn up, she scrutinized this and that, making little humming sounds, then turned her head toward the next target.

"Hmmmmm…"

"The part where you're hoping a defect turns up is a little hurtful."

She started with the armory and the storage, then checked the sleeping tent, the shower, the gym, even the hearth room, inspecting everything with genuine diligence.

"Found it."

"Found what."

"My precious dopamine."

And then her eyes lit up as she pointed around at various spots, a bashful little smile on her face, nodding at me like she couldn't wait to start the overhaul.

"I have no idea what you found."

"Eheh, can my apprentice really be this dense? Look. The greenhouse, the shower, and our transportation. Those three are the biggest problems right now."

See, that's the thing. I had no idea how you'd even go about fixing those. She'd taken to calling me her apprentice, but apparently there was no curing the fundamental problem with my brain.

Anyway. According to Dr. Rin, the foremost fabrication authority of the apocalypse, the problems we currently faced were the Ultra-Mini Greenhouse, the shower, and our means of transportation. Of those, she added, the shower and the transportation were the urgent ones.

"Shall we start by remodeling the Indoor Shower Booth?"

"As you command, Dr. Rin."

"Mm-hmm. Good, good."

For the record, Harin no longer even frowned at the titles I threw at her. She'd started nodding along, looking rather pleased. Harin was being gaslit by nomenclature, basically.

Thinking that, I found myself asking her about the remodeling method without really meaning to.

"So how are we doing this."

"Well, our shower is right next to the hearth room, so we connect the water supply tank and the hot water tank with pipes, fire up the hearth to get hot water, then just drill a hole in the wall big enough for a pipe or hose to go through… should we just do it?"

Okay. I shouldn't have asked.

"Yes, Dr. Rin."

"OK. Let's do it."

Why had I even asked, when I wasn't going to understand the explanation anyway. Debtor Lee, whose desperate need to build things at all costs had long since evaporated, had reverted to full idiot mode.

The metal pipe for the coil was copper piping pulled from bathroom and kitchen walls. The heat-resistant hose was a coolant hose from a car's engine bay. The water supply tank just needed to be ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠some container of a reasonable size that happened to be lying around. The stainless steel cauldron we'd already been using to boil water got a makeover as a hot water tank — we wrapped the outside in styrofoam, bubble wrap, blankets, and plastic wrap. The pressure sprayer was one I'd picked up from the pesticide aisle during a previous scavenging run, thoroughly washed and ready to go.

"Doesn't look like much."

"Pfft… honestly, the build process won't be much either."

Unlike before, we now kept all kinds of materials and parts in the nest's storage like a general store, so we didn't even need to go out to source anything. Harin snorted a little laugh at my comment, picked up a copper pipe, and held it out to me.

"Mission. Bend this into an S-shape."

"…Me? This?"

"It's copper, so it's possible. This is a spring bender — you slide it on, brace it against your knee, and just apply pressure."

I did as Dr. Rin instructed, slid the spring bender thing on, and put my weight into bending the pipe. It bent more easily than I'd expected.

"This actually works?"

"I told you it would. S-shape, but keep both ends straight. Water goes in through the bottom hole, comes out the top. Got it?"

"Yeah, I don't get it."

Even as she explained, Harin grabbed two shelves of suitable height and set them up next to the hearth. On the slightly taller shelf went the reasonably sized container she'd dubbed the water supply tank. On the opposite side, the cauldron she'd designated the insulated hot water tank. Once those were in place, she connected a thoroughly cleaned hose to a hole she'd already drilled.

The thought of a proper shower must have been motivating her — she was humming under her breath, knocking out the build at a rapid clip. I finished bending the copper pipe into an S and held it out to her.

"Done."

"Oh, nice work."

Harin took the S-shaped copper pipe I'd handed her, stuck her head into the hearth to get the angle right, and set it in place.

"Wire."

"Yes ma'am."

I handed over the wire immediately as ordered, and Harin used it to lock the pipe in place so it wouldn't shift. Both ends of the pipe stuck out past the hearth's opening, while the S-curved sections were secured inside at a position that wouldn't quite touch the fire.

"I'll connect this hose, so can you connect that one? Just bind the joint tight with wire."

"Me?"

I had the distinct feeling my role had expanded compared to before. She used to just dump the grunt work and assistant duties on me, but maybe she'd developed some actual faith after I'd built a repeater and a bicycle generator.

"Yes, you. Why do you keep asking back. When I say jump, you jump."

"…Yes. Captain Rin."

Harin shot me a look like a disappointed company commander, then went back to her own work. So I watched what she was doing and connected the hose to the end of the pipe the same way.

"Is this right?"

"Yep, that's right~"

"You didn't even look. How would you know."

"I'm sure you did it fine. You're my apprentice, after all."

You should put your faith in things that deserve it, but, well. If she started screaming later that our hot water tank was fucked, that was not my problem.

And with that, the hot water tank installation was more or less done. Next up: drilling a hole in the wall and giving the Indoor Shower Booth a makeover.

"You drill the hole in this wall, and I'll work on remodeling the shower booth."

"How big?"

"Same diameter as the hose connected to the hot water tank."

She assigned me the wall-drilling mission and headed into the next room.

A drill whined to life. Whiiiiirrrrr— krrrk-krrrk-krrrk—

"Hmph."

She'd said the build method was simple and easy, so I had no idea why I was drilling through walls and dealing with all this bullshit. I spent a good long while drilling into the wall, and finally, through the hole I'd made, I could see Harin.

Hm. So this is a peephole.

Harin had set a tall shelf next to the shower booth tent she'd prepared, and now she seemed to be reinforcing the inside of the tent. I fed the hot water tank hose straight through the peephole and went around to the next room.

"Done?"

"Yeah, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠almost!"

A quick look showed she'd wrapped extra bubble wrap inside the tent for more insulation. Inside the rubber basin laid at the bottom of the shower booth, she'd placed a pallet. She'd also drilled a hole in the bottom of the basin and connected a hose to make a wastewater drain. The hose led toward the outer wall, so it looked like she'd set it up so we wouldn't have to dump the shower wastewater ourselves.

"Should I drill a hole in the outer wall too?"

"Excellent instincts! Proceed immediately!"

Whiiiiirrr— krrrk-krrrk—

I drilled a small hole in the outer wall where the end of the hose met it. The diameter was a perfect fit. As for the problem of wastewater freezing and clogging the hole — Dr. Rin would figure that out herself.

While I was drilling, Harin attached a faucet to the end of the hose we'd run through the peephole. She tightened it down firmly, then stood up and spoke.

"I think that's more or less done?"

"Hmph. Has it actually been improved? Compared to your previous masterpieces, this one looks a little… underwhelming, Professor."

"Yes. Shut up, pour cold water in the tank, and light the hearth."

"Yes ma'am."

My commentary was cut off with a knife-edge look. I ran straight to the hearth.

Honestly, I didn't really get it. According to Harin, natural convection between the cold water and the hot water meant that even without a pump, the cold water would heat up in the pipe from the hearth's fire, and the heated water would rise and move into the hot water tank. I lacked both the knowledge and the intelligence to understand that. I'd only memorized the process of building the generator and the repeater. I was a human being woefully unequipped to actually understand any of it.

Anyway. The boiled hot water traveled through the peephole into the shower, and Harin opened the faucet she'd installed to fill the pressure sprayer's large tank.

"Want me to pump more?"

"No… that's enoughhh…"

We moved the filled pressure sprayer onto the shelf we'd set up in advance, and as I pumped the hell out of it from outside, a languid moan of pure bliss drifted from within — like she was tasting paradise. A fairly strong stream of water was spraying from the pressure sprayer's head. The soapy wastewater flowed straight outside through the hose connected to the rubber basin.

"So this is heaven…"

"You can't die yet, Dr. Rin. Even if you go, please overhaul the transportation and the greenhouse first."

And I was cracking dumb jokes as hard as I could to calm down the little guy, who was only getting bigger. The little guy, who got furiously worked up every time Harin took a shower, was a real handful.

"Bad words. Minus ten points."

"I'm actually curious — what's my score at now? Should I go clean the bathroom?"

"Nope. You may not."

Good boy. I get it, so please just calm down.