I Will Become a Maid
Maid.
What a magnificent word.
Surely the most noble and beautiful word in existence—the greatest work of art the gods ever wrought after shaping this world.
To offer absolute loyalty to the master one serves; to give the children of the household boundless, unconditional love and stand as their guardian—such a sacred image is devotion itself.
Of course, real-world maids are little more than contracted housekeepers working for a paycheck. But what do I care about that?
In my heart, a maid is already a noble, selfless, and beautiful vocation. Reality can flash whatever it likes in my face; it will never be enough to stain the Maid Soul within me.
And right now, staring at the ugly, filthy spectacle before me, I could feel that Maid Soul thrashing in fury.
"All right, then! Shall we try it together, Masters?"
"Yes~!"
"The magic spell that pours love right in!"
"Be.come.de.li.cious~❤"
This was a café in Hongdae.
Thanks to Instagram and other social media, themed cafés of every kind had begun to spring up, and the boom had finally reached the point where maid cafés—once thought to exist only in Japan—were opening in Korea as well.
A friend who watched a lot of anime had suggested we go, so I'd come along, but…
"Uuung~ Watching Master eat is so nice, nya~"
"Hey! Damn Master! It's not like I made this for you or anything…!"
How could one not grieve?
This café was defiling the very identity of the maid.
A maid was supposed to keep a manor in perfect order and assist her master with dignity—how could she parade around in such revealing clothes, speaking so insolently to the one she served?!
A true maid greets her master in flawless, modest attire and aids him in every way she can. And yet these people were chatting casually with the master while he ate?!
Yes. At this very moment, this café was insulting the maid.
It bore the name of maid and yet possessed neither understanding of nor respect for what a maid truly was!
"My, Master, you don't look well at all. In times like these, I'll cast a magic spell to make you feel better. Fufufu."
"No…"
"Pardon…?"
"This is no maid!"
"Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!"
In the end, I could endure the insult no longer. I seized the table and flipped it over.
My friend and I were thrown out of the café after paying over a million won in damages.
Late night, somewhere on a street in Hongdae.
Kicked out of the café, my friend and I trudged toward the station.
"Hey, you lunatic—are you actually insane?"
"No, those bastards were insulting maids, damn it."
Ahh, the anger still wouldn't settle.
How dare they wear such a grotesque face and claim the name of maid?
No matter how hard I tried to stay calm, I could not quiet the Maid Soul raging inside me.
"I can't do this."
"Can't do what now, you bastard."
"I cannot leave that vile café alone. A million won to flip one table and smash a window? Then if I pay ten million, I can flip ten more tables!"
"You crazy son of a bitch! If you're that pissed off, just become a maid yourself!"
"What… did… you… say…?"
The words my friend had thrown out in a frantic attempt to stop me struck my skull like a bolt of lightning.
Was this how Newton felt when he watched the apple fall from the tree?
With that tremendous shock came an equally tremendous revelation.
That's it. All I had to do was become a maid myself…!
A certain maid café in Hongdae.
Today, as always, a long line of people waited outside. Some waited an hour; others as many as three. Before long, the place had earned a reputation as the finest café representing all of Hongdae.
"Seriously, oppa—you're not even a weeb. Why did you insist on coming here?"
"Haha. It's not your ordinary maid café. Just wait a little longer."
Until recently a student grinding through exams, Miyeon kept grumbling as she eyed the boyfriend who'd dragged her here.
She didn't particularly look down on otaku culture, but choosing a place like this for a Christmas date felt like a step too far. Standing in line for a maid café was simply embarrassing.
If the queue had been packed solely with hardcore otaku in anime-print clothes instead of a mix of ages and genders, she would have stormed off in a huff.
"Oh, our turn. Miyeon, you're going to be shocked once we're inside."
"A maid café is a maid café. How special can it possibly—"
Led by her boyfriend's hand, Miyeon stepped into the café still muttering—and the moment she saw what lay before her, her mouth fell open.
This was nothing like the cheap, cartoonish places from manga.
A beautiful Victorian café that called to mind nineteenth-century Europe, staffed by servers in traditional maid uniforms greeting every guest with grace.
"Welcome, Master. Thank you for honoring us with your presence on such a cold day."
The one who greeted Miyeon was a silver-haired beauty of androgynous features.
With her mysterious air, the slight lift of her skirt as she curtsied, she looked less like a maid than a princess from a film.
"I am Maid Maria. A table has just opened further inside. May I show you the way?"
"Y-yes…!"
"Haha."
Miyeon was the sort who regularly watched princess animations from a certain company famous for a giant-eared mouse. In her second year of high school she had even spent her part-time wages collecting gothic ball-jointed dolls—which was precisely why her boyfriend had brought her here.
And just as he'd predicted, Miyeon was already lost in the nineteenth-century English atmosphere unfolding before her eyes.
After seating yet another Master who had entered without fail, I swept my gaze across the café.
That vile den of harlots from last year was gone. What stood here now was a noble salon of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries recreated in full, and we were the noble maids who tended that salon and served our Masters.
Yes. No matter how many times I looked, it was truly magnificent.
This was a proper maid. This was a proper café.
While I was still absorbed in the perfect vision of a maid café, the little bell chimed and a new Master stepped through the door.
I walked toward the entrance to greet the new arrival.
"Welco—"
The sight of the Master who had just entered left me speechless.
"Maria… Maria unnie…!"
Eyes ringed with deep dark circles. Two hands trembling violently. And in those hands, a kitchen knife clenched tight.
The face was one I remembered without question.
Every guest who entered this shop was a Master of this shop. A maid who forgot a Master's face simply could not exist.
Without a doubt, that Master was Master Choi Haeun—who had visited on November 29th and ordered strawberry cake.
The face was the same, yet the heavy shadows under her eyes and the restless dart of her pupils were nothing like the girl I recalled.
"Maria unnie…! You said I was your Master…! You said you were my maid…! So why is my maid calling other people Master…?"
"Master Choi Haeun. Thank you once again for visiting our shop. It is true that I am Master Choi Haeun's maid—but I am also the maid of every person who enters this establishment."
"Sh-shut up! Unnie… Maria unnie is mine alone! I'll make sure of it!"
Shouting, Master Haeun charged at me with the knife raised.
I moved to dodge the slash on instinct—but if I dodged, the couple of Masters behind me would be in danger.
For the safety of my Masters, I had no choice but to accept the blade.
"Eh…? Why…? Maria unnie, why didn't you dodge…?"
It hurt.
I wanted to scream from the pain right then and there. I wanted to drop to my knees, clutch the wound, and cry.
But I could not.
I was not the only one suffering because of the knife that had pierced me.
I wrapped both arms around the Master who stood there gripping the knife, her face twisted in anguish.
"M-Maria unnie… why…?"
"This pain… Master must have been suffering just as much… I do not know what happened, but there must surely be a reason you have come to this…"
The Master who had visited last month had been a pure-faced girl who smiled with joy over a single small strawberry cake.
Of that girl, nothing remained in the Master before me now.
I did not know why she had twisted so far from the path.
"As one who has become a maid… I should have stopped you when you chose a wrong action… but simply stopping you would never have been enough…"
But if sacrificing this body of mine could return Master to who she once was, then I would sacrifice it without a second thought.
"Ahh, Maria unnie…! I'm… I'm sorry!"
"At last… your eyes have opened… Please… from this day forward… never lose the heart you hold now… and walk only… the right… path…"
Ahh. My eyes are closing.
As my focus faded, the pain in my stomach thinned away as though sensation itself were disappearing.
So this is how I die.
And yet, even as I died, I could not wipe the smile from my face.
Yes… this is what a maid is…
Even in death, fulfilling a maid's duty…
Even I have to admit… I'm… truly… magnificent…❤