Chapter 76
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 76
Chapter Title: Epilogue - Sera (3)
"Eli..."
The name slipped off the tip of my tongue. But the words that followed wouldn't come. Just moments ago, Eli had appeared in my immoral imagination in such an embarrassing way, and now that she was standing right in front of me, my mind spun as if I'd been smacked hard on the head. Eli seemed a little startled by my appearance too and froze in place, staring straight at me.
"Yeah. Hi."
"Why are you here...?"
"Just came by. It's been a while since we last saw each other. But... um..."
Unlike her usual self, Eli trailed off, biting her lower lip. Then she averted her gaze to the corner and spoke in a quiet, creeping voice.
"Were you cutting your hair?"
"Huh? Oh... yeah."
"That's why you're dressed so casually too."
"Yeah...?"
Only then did my thoughts start to clear up bit by bit. What was I doing right now? My hair was a total mess, just like Eli said, and my clothes were loose and comfortable. And... and...
"Uh..."
...
Oh god.
"N-no! Don't look!"
"Huh? Wait, Sera!"
I realized my state far too late and hurriedly shoved Eli away, slamming the door shut. But Eli tried to wedge her foot in the closing gap to get inside, letting out a pained scream.
"Talk to me... Aaaagh!"
"What... what are you doing!"
For a moment, I thought her foot might be crushed, the impact was so strong. Eli collapsed to the floor, and I jumped in shock, flinging the door open again. I rushed over in a panic, fidgeting anxiously.
"Why would you stick your foot in there!"
"No... ugh... this is way different from what I imagined... Luca made it look so easy..."
"You and him are the same? Oh god, what do we do? Can you walk? Are you okay?"
"It hurts like I'm about to die. Not that I've ever died, but... Kyaa! D-don't touch it, Sera!"
"S-sorry! But we have to take your shoe off!"
I grabbed Eli's foot on instinct, then let go, then grabbed it again, repeating the motion. In the meantime, Eli let out several screams of pain.
"Aaaah! Can't you stop that, Sera?"
"But...! Gasp. Eli. Is this... blood?"
"Yeah. Surprisingly, it's not. So calm down..."
"You don't know that! Oh my god. Come inside first. Right, you can't walk. Hold on, I'll help you."
"I never said I couldn't walk."
I dragged her in by the scruff of her neck without even listening to what she was saying. By now, I had completely forgotten about my own disheveled state. I had also forgotten that this moment—being alone together like this—was something I had longed for so desperately for so long. I firmly shut the door behind us.
"Ow ow ow..."
"That's what you get for doing something so reckless. Look at how swollen your foot is."
Once inside and with her shoe off, I could see her small, delicate foot was bright red and swollen. I even worried if the bone might be broken, but Eli forced a smile and insisted she was fine.
"I had to do it, or I might never get to see you."
"Even so. And where would I even go, Eli?"
"But you've run away from me plenty of times before."
...
She knew.
I lowered my head so Eli couldn't see my face, biting my lip. Of course she did. I'd done it more than once or twice, and the other person was Eli. Eli, who always saw through everything and came to me anyway.
That's why I'd tried so hard to hide it all this time, but she probably knew about my feelings for Luca too.
Yeah. She must have.
"Ow."
Lost in thought, I must have pressed too hard on her foot by accident, because Eli let out a small cry. The sound snapped me back to reality, and I looked up.
"Ah, sorry. I was lost in thought for a sec."
"Oh ho. So you let your guard down. Now I can't just sit still."
Eli flashed a meaningful smile and suddenly wiggled her toes to pinch the back of my hand hard. Her feet had always been surprisingly dexterous since we were kids, so the sharp pain was more intense than I'd expected.
"What? Ow!"
"Huh? Using your hands is cheating, Sera. Hands for hands. Feet for feet. Forgot?"
"Where's the rule saying that! You gonna keep being such a kid?"
"You've forgotten everything. Sigh, I guess I'm the only old lady who remembers the old days. How disappointing."
"Ahaha! Wait! That tickles! It tickles! Okay, okay, stop!"
But once the playfulness ignited, it didn't stop easily. Eli kept pinching until the back of my hand was bright red. Even when it hurt enough to bring tears to my eyes, I ended up bursting into laughter. My mood was still in the dumps, and the situation hadn't changed, but somehow Eli made me laugh anyway.
Only after a long while did we finally separate, panting for breath. We'd wrestled so much that sweat dripped everywhere, and I stopped caring what might be stuck to my body. I brushed back my newly shortened hair and let out a sigh.
"Haa... ha... you really are..."
"What? Want me to pinch more?"
"I get it. I get it."
We locked eyes again and burst into giggles. But it wasn't a very hearty laugh. The afterglow of the play faded, and we both remembered why we'd sought each other out.
"So."
Soon, a slightly more serious voice came. Eli steadied her ragged breathing and looked at me.
"So, what were you doing?"
"..."
"Can I ask?"
"..."
No, I wanted to say. But I didn't even have the courage to voice it, so I answered with silence instead. Just like always, hoping the perceptive Eli would figure it out on her own.
Then that familiar helplessness washed over me again. Had I treated Luca the same way? Tormenting him every day, picking fights for no reason, clinging stubbornly, all while hoping he'd notice my feelings. Even though there was a straightforward way to confess, I lacked the courage, so I took the long way around.
And in the end, Eli took him from me.
"..."
Again. Even with Eli right in front of me, these disgusting thoughts. Eli hadn't done anything wrong. Why did pathetic me keep blaming others?
No matter how much I scolded myself, those thoughts kept worming their way into my closed heart. Eli had stolen him, after all. No matter the process, she took him from me. My selfish heart kept embedding hateful words in my mind, and I desperately tried to shake them off. But nothing went my way. The conclusion was always one.
I was a bad person.
A rotten one who could only feel satisfied after taking everything, even from my closest friend.
That must be my true nature, I kept thinking.
"Hey, Sera."
Then Eli's voice pulled me from the depression crushing me down. She looked at me and suddenly made a strange proposal.
"Want me to cut your hair?"
"Huh?"
"You can't do it right alone. Come here. I'll do it."
"No, I..."
"It's fine."
Before I knew it, Eli had grabbed my shoulders. A warm energy spread from her palms.
"It's fine. I'll do it."
"Really, I'm okay, Eli."
"You planning to go out looking like this?"
I tried to refuse, but Eli forced me into a chair and picked up the scissors. It seemed there was no escaping, so I finally gave in and slumped my shoulders a bit.
"Fine. Fine."
"Good choice."
Eli smiled at me gently, as always, then wet her hands with water and slowly stroked my hair. Cool droplets seeped between her warm fingers, making my head feel refreshingly clear. Only once my hair was thoroughly wet did Eli start snipping with the scissors.
Snip. Snip. Snip.
The satisfying sound of scissors devouring my hair echoed. Every time Eli's gentle touch brushed my scalp, strands crumbled and fell downward. Occasionally, when she concentrated, her serious breaths would puff out softly against my nape. Her breathing, which I'd forgotten for a while, felt so nostalgic it nearly brought tears—if not for the situation, it would have lulled me to sleep like a lullaby.
But things were different now. Just moments ago—no, even now—I was harboring ridiculous jealousy toward Eli, indulging in wicked fantasies, and wishing for impossible dreams to come true. Even knowing it would hurt us all, I still clung to those stupid hopes.
Guilt spread through me. To shake it off, I spoke up needlessly.
"Hey, not showing me a mirror on purpose?"
"Yeah. Your hair's too much of a mess right now."
"You're the one messing it up. Better to rip off the bandage. Just show me."
I tossed out a joke even I couldn't laugh at. Eli would parry it somehow. But she didn't respond right away, mulling over my words. Then, in a subdued voice, she said,
"I am the one messing it up."
It was an unexpected reaction. The emotion in it was too heavy for me to bear, and I instinctively tried to turn my head.
"Eli, why so serious? It was just a joke..."
"Maybe I've been the one messing you up all along."
"No. What are you talking about?"
"Sera."
Suddenly, Eli's hand gripping my hair trembled faintly. And one word slowly slipped out.
"I'm sorry."
Something heavy lodged in my throat, and I couldn't open my mouth right away. In the end, Eli's words came again.
"I'm sorry."
"What... do you..."
"I'm sorry."
"Eli...!"
I called her name hurriedly. No. Don't take that from me too. I was supposed to apologize first. Don't steal the one thing I owe you.
"I'm sorry."
"Stop... stop it, Eli. Please."
"I'm sorry."
"Eli! Please...!"
Just as I turned to cover her mouth, a hot embrace enveloped me. Eli's presence weighed heavily on my back, my nape, my silent figure.
No, don't do this. Don't stand behind me again. You always had to hide in my lies because of me.
Even in our childhood, when I threw tantrums craving love.
Even during the academy entrance exam, when I dreamed too big.
Even in our school days, when I could reveal everything.
Even regarding Luca, whose heart was already set.
Because of my selfishness, you had to hide everything.
And you gave everything to me.
So please...
"I'm sorry, Sera."
"Please don't, Eli..."
In the end, those words slipped out again. Maybe Eli really believed it was all her fault. But it's not, Eli. It all happened because I couldn't be honest.
I could've just passed the academy on my own merit. The real genius mage was you. It was fine if others hated me as long as you were my friend. I'd liked Luca for a long time too.
I should've confessed before you did. Then none of this hurt, none of these regrets.
That's why I had to say it now. Too late, but it was something I should've said someday.
...
Silence fell suddenly. As if this was my last chance, everything around us went quiet in an instant. Still, pathetic me hesitated. I faltered, afraid to say it.
But I had to, so I opened my mouth. And pulled out the words I'd held back.
"...I'm sorry, Eli."
"Sera..."
"I'm sorry..."
For being selfish. For hurting you because of me. For making you hide your feelings for Luca because of me, and even after it all came true, for making you feel sorry toward me.
Countless qualifiers were needed, but I held back, fearing they might dilute my sincerity. I condensed it all into one word, pouring my whole heart into it clearly.
"I'm sorry, Eli."
"..."
I bowed my head, and freshly cut red strands tumbled down, pattering onto the back of my hand. Amid the cascade like red rain, Eli couldn't speak. Instead, she hugged me with all her strength.
"I'm sorry."
Even as her arms tightened around my neck, choking me, I said it once more. This time, I wrapped my hands gently around her arms and spoke.
"And congratulations on your wedding."
"...Yeah."
"That's what I wanted to say."
When we reunite after sharing our hearts, there's always an awkward air. Eye contact brings back that embarrassing moment. But Eli had a talent for smoothing it over.
"Your haircut looks so pretty."
"Is that praising me? Or your skills?"
"A pretty model makes the stylist shine. Of course, it wouldn't be this pretty without me."
"I know."
I smiled genuinely and ran my hand over my neatly trimmed hair. Losing the hair I'd grown for so long felt a bit empty, but it was incredibly refreshing too. No, really cool.
"But seriously, Sera. It looks really pretty."
"Thanks. Though not as pretty as you."
"Aw, come on."
"I mean it. Can't be prettier than the bride-to-be."
I said it without any ulterior motive. But Eli's expression darkened a little.
"...You really don't want to see him?"
"Yeah."
"For real?"
"I'm really fine."
Because my lingering feelings haven't fully vanished yet.
Just cutting my hair and finally speaking my mind won't make years of emotions disappear in an instant. Honestly, I'm scared that if I see him again, my pathetic feelings will resurface. So, better not to meet at all.
"Later. When I've really made it big, then we'll meet again."
"Made it big? Are you thinking of leaving the village?"
"Of course. You're leaving too, right? No point staying in a village without you guys."
"Where to? Decided?"
"Hm... not sure. But I want to leave the Haim region at least. And study magic more seriously. Curious how far I can go without you."
Eli stared blankly at me, then nodded. She might have wanted to hold me back. Since I might go far away. But she didn't. Eli was always the smartest.
"You'll do great."
"I hope so."
I bared my honest heart without lies. All the falsehoods I'd spun that day scattered with my hair, and so did the ones I'd tell in the future.
"Got it."
Eli took a deep breath in and out, then threw herself at me. Her embrace, always seeming so much bigger than mine, felt strangely small today.
"Still, you have to visit once a year, okay?"
"Obviously."
"Even if you can't visit, at least write letters?"
"I'm more worried you won't reply."
"You know I would."
Her small hands clutched my back tightly. I'd forgotten, but Eli needed love just as much as I did. She just knew exactly how much she could handle.
I hugged her with all my strength. And once more, I spoke those words. No need to wonder if they were lies. Because from now on, I could only speak the truth.
"Congratulations on your wedding, Eli."
"...Yeah."
"And thank you."
"For what?"
"Everything."
So very much.
We held each other long after sharing our hearts, the scent of mint wafting naturally. A fresh aroma spread over the red locks flowing before my eyes, and a cool autumn breeze began to blow gently...
...
...
...
"Miss Sera."
"Ah, yes!"
Lost in old memories, I jolted and looked up. The kindly old professor smiled warmly.
"Nervous?"
I might have denied it and bluffed in the past. But not anymore. I knew lying brought no gain.
"Yes. Very nervous."
He burst into laughter at my honesty. Waving his hand, he continued.
"Nervous? This is just a formality. You know that."
"Still, facing the chancellor."
"I'm just a professor too. Same as you. No, Professor Sera now, I suppose."
Professor Sera. The words caught in my throat. Tension flooded my body, stiffening even my fingertips.
"You're the youngest professor in our academy's history. Congratulations, Professor Sera."
"Ah... y-yes. Thank you!"
Too nervous, my voice cracked. The chancellor tried to stifle his chuckles and went on.
"Of course, you won't teach students right away. After some training and getting used to academy life, you'll take the podium. It won't take long, so relax."
"Yes. I know."
"The students are excited, actually. No idea where they heard, but they're already making up nicknames. Want to hear one?"
"No, Chancellor. I'll pass. It'd be too embarrassing."
"Fair enough."
He nodded with a playful grin. His benevolent smile revealed his character.
"Alright. That wraps up the interview. Touring the facilities again would be more helpful than chatting with me."
"Ah, yes. Understood. It was a pleasure, Chancellor."
"The pleasure was mine, Professor Sera."
I bowed stiffly and turned toward the door with tense steps. Just as I was leaving, the chancellor called out.
"Oh, and Professor Sera."
"Yes?"
"From now on, call me Professor Heide instead of Chancellor. I'm still new to the position myself, so it feels awkward."
"Yes, Professor Heide."
Only then did a genuine smile bloom on my face. The tension melted away in an instant.
I turned back with much lighter steps. My short hair swayed slightly, tickling my cheek. The familiar sensation brought back old memories once more.
I should write a letter today. It'd only been a week since the last one, but the affection between us could handle it. The first line would be the same as always.
Hello, Eli. And Luca.