Lingering Regrets and a New Opportunity

A warm, comforting sensation enveloped my entire body. With each breath, warm air flowed gently into my lungs. My body felt utterly drained of strength, and my mind drifted in a pleasant haze. It was like floating through a warm sea. So this... is death.

My final memory was of throwing myself from a building rooftop. After falling from the twentieth floor of an apartment complex, I had to be dead. I surrendered myself to that cozy feeling and exhaled softly. It's so soft... and fluffy....

Was this what people called death's embrace? After gripping a sword for the past ten years, the peace I had never once felt came to me only after dying. Somehow, the thought left a faintly bitter taste in my mouth. It really was too hard....

But none of that mattered anymore. The death I had longed for, the death I had desperately craved, had finally come for me. Death was an endless sleep. An eternal rest that would guide me into a world of perpetual dreams. The hellish days that repeated without end. My father's cold, venomous words and piercing gaze. Even the sight of myself frantically struggling because I wanted to be loved. None of it existed anymore. Because I was dead. I no longer needed to do anything. Just lose myself in an unending slumber, wrapped only in comfortable rest...

.....Huh?

As I lay there limply, a sudden sense of unease made me tilt my head. I was definitely dead. So how was I still thinking? After jumping ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠from that height, my brain should have been reduced to pulp. How is this possible...?

The moment the question rose in my mind, the foggy haze over my consciousness began to clear. Soon after, a crushing pain slammed into my skull as if trying to shatter it. The agony was so intense that I shot upright from where I lay, a groan tearing from my throat.

"Urk... ugh...!?"

It hurt too much. It felt like my skull was cracking open and its contents were spilling out. I clutched my forehead for a moment, but soon noticed something strange and frowned. The head that should have been smashed to pieces... was perfectly intact. My fingertips brushed against messy hair. No matter how I searched, there wasn't a single wound.

"......?"

That wasn't the only odd thing. An even more incomprehensible sight unfolded before my eyes. Trees stretched toward the sky like pillars holding up the heavens. Light green leaves rustled softly with every breeze. Beyond the bushes lay a vast open sky, and the fragrant scent of grass tickled my nose. Staring at it all, I muttered blankly.

"A forest...?"

Yes. It was a forest. Strangely enough, I was lying collapsed in the middle of one. Confusion, bewilderment, and alienation swirled chaotically through my head. What was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠this? Had I finally gone insane? Or had my head been destroyed in the fall, and this was the afterlife?

While I sat there in a daze, looking around, an unfamiliar mechanical sound rang in my ears.

At the same time, a blue screen floated before my eyes. It was what people commonly called a status window. Seeing it, I finally understood the situation.

"I see..."

Fuck. I had finally lost my mind.

Maybe this was just another symptom of my mental illness. After suffering from depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder, I had finally gone off the deep end. This entire situation might be nothing but a delusion, and in reality, my body was probably cooling down as a corpse. You know how it is—those life-flashes people supposedly see right before death. Maybe my brain was creating this dream through some bizarre chemical reaction.

How could I believe that? It would be far more realistic to say I had failed my suicide attempt and fallen into a coma. ...Though considering the height I fell from, even that seemed impossible. Still, it was more believable than this absurd situation.

"Shut up."

In the end, it took me quite a while to accept this reality. The status window kept insisting my condition was normal, and I kept telling it to stop spouting nonsense. It was a fierce battle with no room for compromise. In the end, I was the one who raised the white flag.

If this were a delusion or a dream, there shouldn't be any sense of pain. With that in mind, I tried breaking my pinky finger as a test. A sharp crack was followed by excruciating pain.

"Ow...!?"

At that point, I had no choice but to believe it. All five senses were responding. My mind was clear. The pain was real. Ignoring the situation at this stage would be nothing but escapism.

Always keep your mind sharp.

Never assume what you know is everything. You must read the sword path with cold precision.

My father's teachings briefly crossed my mind, but I shook my head. Even he would never have encountered a situation like this.

While I sat there clutching my throbbing hand in a daze, another blue window appeared.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

I had already killed myself. What was there to protect? Besides, I had experienced the pain of broken bones plenty of times in my previous life. It was a sensation I never got used to no matter how many times I felt it... but thanks to that, I could perceive this situation as reality more clearly. It was fine.

"It's just one finger."

I stared at the status window, which was muttering to itself. I no longer thought this was a dream or delusion. That didn't mean I wasn't bewildered by the current situation, though.

"A status window... like the ones from those novels."

I tapped the translucent screen. Stark font flickered across it. The name that had been emphasized repeatedly—Raiden Lisite. It was a name I knew very well. He was one of the characters from the novel I had loved most.

"Possession, huh..."

The outline was starting to take shape. It was probably the same as those common stories in novels. The classic tale where the protagonist, facing death, receives a new opportunity through possession. A popular, crowd-pleasing beginning. The only difference between those characters and me was...

"...Why did I get dragged into something like this again?"

I didn't have even the slightest will to live anymore. The dream I had cherished my entire life had crumbled. I had been abandoned by the person I wanted to be loved by. Everyone who had treated me kindly had ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠met their ruin because of me.

"I didn't need an opportunity like this."

I had simply been too exhausted. I only wanted to disappear quietly. Yet even death itself had been denied to me. Just how much more did I have to break and suffer before I could find peace?

The sorrow buried deep inside me began to seep out. Lethargy, despair, emptiness. All of it approached me as if it had physical form. The violent emotions struck my face and strangled my throat, but I didn't resist. Yes. Break my neck again, just like this. So that this hateful breathing and the noise of the world would no longer reach my ears. So that the curtain would fall on the stage of my life.

"......"

Swallowed by depression, I quietly closed my eyes. Then I stuck my tongue out. The first suicide was hard, but the second shouldn't be. I comforted myself with that thought. The moment my teeth moved to sever the thread of life once more—

The blue window that appeared without fail stopped me. I tried to close it in irritation, but the content inside made it impossible to ignore.

"Wish...? What I want...?"

The words slipped out unconsciously. As if answering, the status window ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠displayed a new message.

What kind of nonsense was this now? As I clutched my throbbing head, still reeling from the depression, the status window seized the moment and fired off words like a machine gun.

You are the owner of a rare kind of misfortune.

As you can see from the current situation, this system possesses absolute power.

It can save the life that was nothing but loneliness and farewells.

"......"

I didn't like it. I hated how it prattled on about my life as if it understood anything. The pain I had to endure. The despair and loneliness I had to face. The people I loved who I had to let go. The blue window that spoke of hope without knowing any of it was repulsive. But what I hated even more than that was...

"Really...?"

The way I was staring at the screen as if spellbound. My attitude resembled a pathetic mutt begging for food on the street. Even when hunger and fear had swallowed my entire being, I still couldn't let go of that thin thread of hope. A pitiful, foolish creature.

"Will you... really grant it...?"

What was I even expecting? I thought I had given up all thirst for happiness after that day. Apparently I hadn't. The sickeningly sweet aftertaste of that dream shook my reason. The longing I had hidden beneath resignation lifted its head once more.

"...Please."

Give it to me. A life without tears. A life without violence or contempt. A life without loss or deficiency. A life where I can toss and turn in bed every night with excitement for the next day. A life where I don't have to struggle to be loved by someone. That kind of life.

"...Give it to me."

"I'll do it."

I spoke urgently before the system could finish. I felt like the opportunity would vanish if I didn't answer quickly. I was completely desperate.

"Three years, four years, it doesn't matter... just give me the chance."

I had already rolled through hell for ten years. Adding another three wouldn't change much. I would still be unhappy. I would still live surrounded by mental illness and obsession. But if hope waited at the end of that darkness, I was willing to sell my soul without hesitation. So, even if it was a scam, I'd give it one more try.

I immediately moved my finger toward the [Yes] button. The moment my fingertip touched the glass-like surface, the screen flashed brilliantly, and radiant light flooded the surroundings.

Welcome back!