The End of a Blade
The golden sunset that once illuminated the world had finally set. In its place remained only the darkness that hungered for the sun’s faint afterimage. I stood there, gazing at the sky draped in the veil of night.
Whoooosh... The winter wind brushed against my cheek. The biting chill made me shiver for a moment. My legs, dangling in empty air, trembled faintly. I took a short breath to drive away the cold, and through the hazy vapor of my exhale, the city’s nightscape came into view.
Countless lights danced beautifully. And within them, countless people were probably dancing with joy. I stared blankly at the scene, feeling a complicated swirl of emotions.
“......”
This view would be my last. The thought brought a strangely hollow feeling. Of course, it was probably just my imagination. Emotions had been erased from me long ago.
I lowered my gaze slightly to look beneath my feet. There, an unfathomable height of empty space stared back at me.
‘.....If I fall from here, I should die in one go.’
A twenty-story high-rise building. Even though it was my first time climbing to a place like this, my heart felt strangely numb. No — it even felt peaceful.
“This really is the end now...”
It was a feeling of relief. As fierce as the wind that embraced me. I staggered for a moment at the dizzyingly high view, then let out a long breath and closed my eyes.
In the quieting darkness behind my eyelids, fragments of the past flickered by.
“......”
My life had been like a single blade. A sword sharpened to its limit, radiating a precarious brilliance. A doll that knew no emotion. A doll without a self. A puppet that lived each day trapped in brutal training and rigid schedules.
The one who had pushed me into that life was my father.
—Become the best. If you are truly my son.
On the day I turned twelve, that was what he said. A former world-class kendo athlete, he wanted his son to reach the very top as well. It was the kind of common parental greed one might dismiss as ordinary… but there was something deeply twisted about it.
The beatings that followed every mistake. The abuse carried out under the guise of sparring. The cold, venomous words hurled at me whenever I collapsed from exhaustion. My father used every method imaginable to throw me into suffering.
—Pathetic… Is this all you can do?
Every day was hell. Dozens of times a day, I wished for death. I carried out my schedule drowning in self-loathing and utter exhaustion. Yet even in that life, I endured. I kept living.
I told myself that everything my father did to me was for my own good. Because he loved me. Because he loved me, that’s why. I repeated it like a mantra to comfort myself.
‘If I become the best in the world, Father will smile at me again… right?’
Clinging to that single thought, I survived hell. I carved myself down, cut myself apart, and tortured myself — all while cherishing the faint hope of one day seeing a smile on his lips.
But it didn’t take long to realize that had all been nothing more than a delusion.
Selected as a national representative and standing proudly as Korea’s top kendo athlete, I advanced toward the world championships. There were no worthy opponents. Compared to the time I had endured, my rivals felt far too soft and lukewarm.
I kept winning, reaching out desperately toward a goal that seemed almost within reach. And after overcoming every obstacle, I finally stood in the world championship final.
Until the moment I stepped into the arena, I had been filled with joy.
‘At last, I can repay Father’s love.’
With that faint smile on my face, I stepped onto the final stage. My heart raced at the thought that the ten-year-long dream I had held since I was twelve was finally coming true. A dream I had poured everything into. A dream I had pursued solely for my father.
On that final stage meant to bring my dream to its conclusion…
…I was utterly, miserably defeated.
I couldn’t land a single blow on my opponent. I lost by an absurd score of ten to zero.
—It was a good match. I look forward to seeing more of you in the future.
I still remember the look in my opponent’s eyes as we shook hands after the match. It was a gaze of pity, as if looking down on something infinitely weaker than himself. It felt like my entire life had been denied.
But my misfortune didn’t end there.
I stumbled into the locker room, still wearing my mask, and there stood my father. He glared at me with eyes full of contempt. After a long silence, he spoke only one sentence.
—I don’t understand.
His voice was cold, like he was appraising an object, completely devoid of warmth. With those words, he turned and left the locker room.
I reflexively reached out toward his retreating back. But I couldn’t touch him. He never once looked back as he walked down the corridor.
Staring at the emptiness left before me, I let out a hollow murmur.
Why… Why are you leaving?
I dreamed for ten years for you. I lived for ten years for your greed. So why am I being thrown away so pathetically now…?
‘I still believed that you loved me.’
It had all been my misunderstanding. Father had never loved me.
Watching his cold back, I collapsed. I sat there in a daze, tears streaming down my face. I had lived my entire life for him — only to realize far too late that it had all been a false delusion.
My life had been denied. Everything I had done until now had been meaningless. I felt like an arrow that had lost its direction.
I wanted to let go of everything. I wanted to disappear.
And so I climbed the stairs. And now I stood here.
“.....It’ll be okay. Really.”
I murmured to myself in a pitiful voice, as if trying to offer comfort. A contradictory mix of fear and anticipation surged through me in time with my heartbeat.
[World Kendo No. 2, National Team Athlete. Suicide by jumping from building rooftop...]
[Known to have suffered from depression. Shock...]
By tomorrow morning, articles like these would probably fill a corner of the newspapers. After living a life built on lies and delusion, I would fall to my death and be erased from the world, accompanied by people’s cheap pity.
“......”
I quietly released the railing I had been gripping. My body, which had been precariously hanging on, was thrown into the empty air.
A horrifying sense of speed and a strangely comforting sensation of floating enveloped me. Through my spinning vision, the rapidly approaching ground came into view. I quietly closed my eyes.
And I prayed. Please, let it not hurt. And let everything end with this.
‘Still… it’s a little scary after all......’
—THUD!!
That was my last moment. All I remembered was a powerful impact and the sound of the crash ringing in my ears.
. . .
Yes. I definitely should have died like that.
You have possessed Raiden Lisite, the eldest son of the Duke of Lisite!
Welcome back!
What the hell is this…?