Zombie-Killing Female Firefighter (1)
Yesterday was a bit disappointing. I hit the ceiling. Ugh. As soon as I wake up, I fold the blanket and boot up Lara 2. Then I chug some bonsai and check YouTube comments. After that... I eat and rest while browsing cafes. I kill some time, then finally turn on the stream. Perfect. My routine's even more flawless now. It was way more fun than before. My life satisfaction shot right up. Before, it felt forced, so there were tons of days I didn't wanna do it, but I pushed through anyway because they say the driving force of self-improvement is just starting. You've gotta start something... so even folding the blanket counts. I actually do fold mine. Honestly, it didn't do much. Just felt like, "Oh, I folded the blanket?" That's it. Actually, if I don't fold it, I get this nagging feeling and my head spins. Wait, no, more than that. Right now, uh... let's eat! Eat first, then check cafes and stream. What to eat today? I open the delivery app.
Lately, I've been eating... gukbap. Gukbap... gukbap. Gukbap... jjajang. Gukbap. Gukbap... How did it turn into this? More than that, gukbap. When did I eat so much of this stuff? What's going on? Am I glitching? I seriously can't remember. What did I eat yesterday? Uh...! Gukbap. Last time? Whoa! Gukbap again? Amazing. I remember now. It really was me eating it! So what to eat today? Hmm... I spent five minutes sorting my thoughts. Five minutes is a long time—plenty to pick food. My conclusion: no need to adventure. "The usual."
I ordered the usual. Familiar taste hits different. After finishing the gukbap, I start streaming. What else do I have to do? Stream or game. Stream or game. "Guys?! Hi everyone!! What should we do today?"
I tried to find something. I put in so much effort. But I couldn't. Games that satisfy both viewers and me... hard to find that sweet spot. "It's just... if I play games, everyone leaves..."
The games I find fun? Viewers hate 'em. That's why I can't stream Lara 2... Chat goes dark the second I launch it. Trauma from the past keeps me from it. But Arena World pulls 10-15 per minute. Now? Honestly, I haven't counted precisely lately, but it's over 200. How can I game with this? Scary.
I'm not scared of horror games. Horror movies... human-made scares don't faze me. Why? Horror is fake. I know it's all illusions humans cooked up. But reality? Different story. It's real. That indescribable terror... suffocating. Gasp... gasp... I'd play chat-heavy games in a heartbeat. But most don't have chat! "Hoo..." I take a huge breath through my nose. Hold for five seconds, exhale. Repeat three times—head clears right up. "What should we do today?"
"I'm just asking for opinions...! Obviously... uh... what to do. I really dunno."
Over an hour of content brainstorming. Tons of ideas and games flew by. The one that stuck... zombie-killing game.
"Shall we? Awesome! Mods? Server? Vanilla till it's up?" Content decided. Everyone says it's fun, good vibes. Trusting my viewers, I buy and download the game. Log in done. Uh... tough. Gotta balance good and bad picks. High difficulty ahead? Fiddled with character creation. I'm a firefighter. Gotta have a story. Story's key. YouTube too. Alpha male got good reaction before. This time too. Map Muldrow? Yeah. "Hmm. I'm, uh. From Muldrow Fire Station. Female. Female's good. Female firefighter Sena here. Nice to meet ya."
Story set. Muldrow's first female firefighter. Yeah. "I'm now Muldrow's female firefighter. The first. First. Got it? Let's go put out fires!"
"No, trust me. I got this." Grounded confidence surges. Who am I? Muldrow's first female firefighter Sena. Don't you know me? Trust only me. Ignoring the crowd, I head to Muldrow. Start's confusing. No clothes, not even fire station. Born in an empty house. What the...? My fantasy story evaporates. I wanted to spawn in the station... sole survivor. Devoted firefighter. Why? Muldrow's first female one. Duty calls hard. Saving lives, cool push-ups... that vibe. But this. "Hmm... what now?"
I know tutorial from before. Not that. Environment's way off from what I imagined—what do I do? Thud. Thud thud. Door pounding? I jump, open the closet, grab random clothes.
"Watch? Oh, yeah." With angel viewer help, I find and equip it. But bare hands vs zombies? Scary. Need a weapon. Where? "Weapon? Weapon... no weapon. Weapon. Weapon." Panicking, I open the door. Still...
"What's that noise?"
"Already... am I dead?" I'm not dead yet. Why kill me off? I could do good. I might be a zombie pro gamer. Why now? Ha... I'll show you. "I'll show ya. I, for real... ugh, can't. I really..." This fires me up? Been a while. Can't even do this?
"Whoa! Mission thanks." Mission too? Bet they think I can't, so they dangle it. If they believed I'd win, it'd be straight donation, not mission. "I'll nail it! Not a safe bet, right?" Poke the angels and... left-top mission pops, blasts past 200k instantly. Ehehe. Nice. Gotta succeed. Just survive for the cash. Kinda scummy... but I'm a girl, so it's fine. Not sexist. But girls get a pass! Little scummy's okay! Heehee. Mission cleared already~ "Thanks everyone. I'll win it."
"Pro gamer vibes? Yup. Ehehehe, more?" Used to think pro gamer was praise. Nope, they were trolling. Sly digs like, "Ugh, doing it again? Fine, be a pro gamer~" Didn't get it, loved it... Still feels good now, less but good. Craving validation satisfied. Bliss.
"A... augh!" My Jjangbies' rebel spirit is world-class. Just let me... Jjangbies seriously. "Kill all the Jjangbies!!!!" Not venting. Just killing zombies. "All Jjangbies die!!!" I massacre every window-crawling Jjangbie. Now... chat's angels only, right? Good ones are baby angels, bad are Jjang-whatevers. I just made that up. Still coming. Thwack... thwack. Thwack. Thwack. Silently slaughter Jjangbies. Always nitpicking, fake "principled" hate... Thwack. Thwack... "Hoo! Refreshing." All incoming zombies dead. No more.
Me scared? Ehehe, were you? But! "I'm actually not scared. It's fine! Come here! Everyone come!" Yeah. I endure. Even if they hate, I hold and embrace. That's how... that's the way. "Everyone here? Okay, now... loot kitchen first. Kitchen... uh. No food. Fresh. Canned. Canned..." I crack open cans, stuff my face. "Munch. Munch. Munch..." Hunger fades... fullness sets in. Phew. Belly full. "How to relieve stress? This anxiety. It's bugging me—what to do?"
"Cigs... I've never smoked. What if I don't?" Never touched one, exaggerated but never even seen up close. Why this trial? I follow orders. Shouldn't have picked it. "Ah... cigs." Craving hits. Dying? Smoke. No choice. "Cigs... cigs... cigs..." Ransack kitchen ceiling—no luck. Why no smoker? Smoke some. Augh. Head outside. Zombies everywhere. Kill one by one, push forward. Easy. Zombie comes? Bat smash done. Too many? "Push. Push... push. Trip? Stomp. Stomp. I'm good, right? Pretty good?"
I'm better than I thought. Found my talent? This is good, yeah? "I'm good, right?" Everyone agrees. Some rebels deny to hate, but majority yes. Good enough. Majority rules. Like elections—over 50% wins. Same here. "Official. I'm good. Zombie slayer. Thud thud thud." Saying it myself? No shame. Proud. Proving it. Kill zombies one by one, advance. Zombies dumb. Stay calm, they die easy. Not hard. ...So fun. Killing zombies too fun. Base-building too fun. Really too fun. My #1 run getting stronger, still alive—love it. So so fun. So much to do, fun overload.
"Everyone... yeah... right?" Hours in, they're freaking... what? Bug? Streamed 26 hours. Too fun to end. Sleepy? Was I?... Sleep vanished sometime. Planned to end sharp if #1 died. But it doesn't. Why? 'Cause I'm too good. Blame skilled me. Heehee. Oh, just realized. This with others? Immersion insane. Survivors together? Epic. "No survivors..." Would be great. For real. "Survivors..."
"No, that's not... uh, no..." 26 hours sinks in—sleep crashes. Can't even talk. But. One thing to say. "Party up for this? Would be so fun, right?" If someone's down. "Wanna try recruiting? Together fun. Hmm." Slipped out a promise I can't keep. Words out, can't take back.
Ooh?! Lineup what!!