Maid Sjji-jjang (3)
I gave it some serious thought.
Sjji-jjang wasn't half bad. What if I just locked in a full Sjji-jjang RP… and vacuumed up the viewers that way? In an RP sense, I mean…!!
No haters. Sjji-jjang just loves high viewer counts. That's the RP now.
That works, right? Get flamed and it's just RP. Please respect it!! Uhihi.
But I also liked Jjang-Porty-Ham.
I wouldn't have to take legal responsibility for anything, right? I could just fire off whatever I wanted to say.
Someone talks smack at me? It's RP.
Viewers hit me with "that's bad RP," and I hit back with, "but we promised not to hold me legally responsible, yong~." Uhihi.
I liked both.
They were both RPs I was really into. So which one did I think I'd be better at… Honestly, I was a little more confident with Jjang-Porty.
But the problem was getting bored. Stick to just one thing and I get sick of it. And the ideas dry up fast.
"Before I fully commit, let me say something."
"What is it?"
"Motteok-nim. I think Jjang-ham is the right call. But I still need to practice Sjji-jjang too."
"Why?"
"You get bored doing just one, right? Gotta dual-wield and switch it up. The viewers'll get bored too. I'm sure of it. Right?"
You cannot trust the chat. Trust them and you're finished. They are, more than anyone, utterly merciless.
Make a mistake? They tear into you like wild animals.
Which is why, in moments like this, another streamer's reaction mattered more than the chat's.
"What do you two think? Opinions, please~!"
"I say just pick one. Two is greedy. Even when people do RP, they usually stick to one, right?"
"Hmm… that so? Then which one?"
"If you can hold out, Jjang-ham is the best."
"That… gets boring. Once you're a one-trick, it stops being fun."
"Having a one-trick is still better than nothing."
One-trick? No. I always had to go the creative route. Otherwise I couldn't do it. Too boring. Way too boring.
Getting past a three-day resolution was already hard. Give it time and I just didn't want to do it anymore.
My whole body would start itching and nothing would feel fun. How do you fix that? You can't fix it!!
"It gets boring. Keep doing that and it gets boring. I can't do just one."
"Even if it gets boring. Having one is still something. Plenty of people don't even have that."
"Hmm… I see."
"But of all things, Jjang-ham does have some… problematic potential."
"I see."
"Just now with the cup size thing—I genuinely thought you were a complete maniac."
I'm allowed to ask, aren't I? I was curious. What's the first thing you look at when you meet a girl? I gave her face a once-over.
Checking out the figure after that is just natural, right?
And it looked a little big. So I asked. I thought we had a bond going.
If not, my bad.
If I hurt her feelings, I'll apologize officially. Just ask.
If not, I'm filing it under pure hatemail.
"Got it. Nemmo-nim, if that made you uncomfortable at all, please demand an apology… I'll bang my head on the floor right now. I'm sorry."
Even with a promise of legal immunity already on the table, if it still went like this, Jjang-ham was going to be even harder.
That was why I needed the dual-wield.
Focusing on just one was fine. But the second it got stale, it was over.
I knew that because I'd grown. If I hadn't grown, I'd still be pushing Jjang-Porty straight through. I could only think like this because I'd grown. Uhaha.
"Ah. Nooo~ It was just surprising~"
"Ooh? Sexual harassment was surprising? You're a surprising person!!"
"Yeah~? No, that's not what I— no, yeah…"
"Want more? I've got plenty. I've got so many lines. Big bro Nemmo'll sing you a lullaby. Big bro Nemmo'll give you a little kissy-smooch. Big bro Nemmo'll give that butt a good squeeze… uhihi."
"Wow."
Motteok-nim kept letting out little gasps of awe beside me. It was that impressive? Those were the most basic lines. If that got a reaction, she looked way too soft.
I had way more impressive ones. Pull out the prepared material and she'd completely lose it. Uhihi.
"Hey, Nemmo. Instead of some instant-noodle guy, how about a man like big bro—a man like fully aged kimchi? Super tasty. Uhihi."
"Oof… sorry~"
"Big bro's a healthy man. Food-wise, uh… a vitamin. How about it? Wanna try a guy like big bro once?"
"Sss… tough one~"
"Uhihi. We'll just have to get to know each other one step at a time. This is why I meet Nemmo. Big bro only has Nemmo. Uhaha."
"…"
I'd watched How to Talk to Women multiple times at normal speed instead of 2x. Could you feel the sincerity of all that effort just so I could talk to girls?
"I worked really hard to talk to girls. You can totally feel it, right?"
"Oof… hmm… yeah…"
"Uhihi. Nice. Then I'll recharge right into Sjji-jjang mode."
"Sounds good~. That's better."
"Hahahahaha. Understood!! Then… call me Goshujin-sama once."
"Sjji-jjang!!"
"Too quiet!! Louder!!"
"Huh? You're the maid Sjji-jjang, though."
"Ah… right."
I'd briefly mistaken myself for the master. Right. In the RP, I was the maid. I had to act like a maid.
A maid for her master… I'd show them once. Watch closely.
"Hai!! Maid Sjji-jjang!!! Maid Sjji-jjang is… um… good at everything. Goshujin-sama, please take care of me!!"
I answered with every scrap of tension I could scrape together.
In those maid videos, everyone always maxed out their energy like that. And then later they'd hit the crash and go smoke.
But cigarettes were pure poison. Ugh. So sad.
"One million won!! This Sjji-jjang is one million. Ten million… a hundred million… won!!"
"And what do you do for that?"
"Ah! Sjji-jjang's viewers, viewers, increase!! I have a spell!! Would you like to hear it?"
"Ooh. I'm curious—do it on me. Do it while looking at me."
Motteok-nim grabbed me. I was supposed to do it for Nemmo-nim, but Motteok-nim also… still, that was fine. I was going to do it for Motteok-nim someday anyway. Call this that day.
"I'll do it!! Motteok-nim's room, viewers, swarm and gather!! A hundred. A thousand. Ten thousand, all gather and become the best!!"
"Oh!! Not bad? Got anything else?"
"I do!! One more try. Uwah!! Whoa!! This is Sjji-jjang, though. KRAAAAAAH!! Bang-bang. Boom-boom. Wheeeeeee. Thud-thud. Knock-knock. Pew-pew. Thwoooooom."
"What was that?"
"Sjji-jjang mad movie."
"Oof… yeah. Heard you loud and clear."
"Pay me."
You take the order, you pay!!
I held out my hand.
"Master has to pay. You're not thinking of eating free and running, are you?"
"Just once for free, please."
"Hmm… fine. But then you have to take one hit from Porty-Ham."
I'd been holding back so hard lately. Looking at Motteok-nim just flooded me with inspiration… I'd gotten one warning and clamped down.
But give me one chance and I'd let it all out clean.
I was genuinely confident. If I was told to do it, I could do it without hesitation.
"Oof… that's a bit much."
"Understood… nothing I can do, then. I'll put it on the ledger!!"
Three hours had already gone by.
Even a collab got stale after three hours. Cycling the same RPs over and over, I was already bored.
Whether it was Sjji-jjang or Jjang-ham, it just wasn't fun anymore.
Nothing left to say, no skits left to run—I just wanted it over.
"Collab was fun. I learned a lot."
"Learned what? You were just playing by yourself. That was a solo stream."
"Ah, and while doing that I learned. I learned everything. It was so fun I learned so much!!"
I barely remembered what I'd done yesterday. Time had just flown.
I couldn't even recall the fun parts. What mattered most was reviewing what I'd learned from good people and studying it again.
I pulled up the VOD to do a proper post-game review. Hitting play was fine.
But then I started clicking the links people had dropped in the comments, and I genuinely thought I was a lunatic.
A total lunatic. Even to my own eyes I looked insane. I'd completely gone off the rails.
If even I thought it was this bad, I needed to dial it back. I'd been a runaway train—no, worse. Like a racing car with no brakes. I really needed to cut down on the rampaging.
Whoa, boobs boobs boobs boobs. Just grab those tits. Squeeze that butt. Start with pats, then switch to squeezes. Just grab a handful.
That was still sitting in my VOD.
I couldn't even call it hatemail. It wasn't AI either. Why? Because I vaguely remembered saying it. Kgh.
Really just squeeze that butt. Then Nemmo-nim's butt is soft and squishy. Chewy and bouncy. This is my Jjang-ham RP!! You promised me legal immunity!!
I'd said that too.
I was just a maniac. How could anyone even say that? I'd fired off things no human should be able to say, one after another.
Give me viewers!! Make Seona number one!! Master!!
I'd even dropped lines that rough. Definitely insane.
Just a little shit who likes viewers. That's Yu Seona. Yu Seona loves her viewers. Yep yep. So follow me!!
Why on earth did I say that…!! I was losing it. Had I actually been drinking? I couldn't firmly answer no to that question.
I'd been that far gone.
Thanks for the viewer pump. Keep pushing it up~ Pumping up, pumping up. Sjji-jjang. Go full Sjji!! Viewers aren't going up. Hmm. One more time, Sjji-Sjji-Jjang-Jjang!!
Yeah… definitely insane.
Yu Seona, why did you do that. You idiot. This was pure, uncontrolled rampage.
"I need to reflect… Yu Seona, reflect… You're not the kind of streamer who says trashy stuff like that. You messed up."
I could look back at myself properly. I was a genuine maniac. I'd just spewed nonsense nonstop.
Today I'd show a different side of me.
I'd show them a refined, well-behaved Seona who didn't say weird things.
If I hadn't watched that VOD, I'd have been in real trouble. I'd used RP as a shield to do bad things.
"Yu Seona has changed. From today on, she's a good Yu Seona. Today's RP is Good Yu Seona. Just good. Understands everything. Takes every chat and reacts well… that kind of Yu Seona."
Yeah. Today would be different. I clenched my fist and made the vow.