Geez... Just Hold It In!! (4)

Once you've picked an ending, you finish the game properly.

That's a streamer's virtue.

Truth is, I don't keep that virtue very well. What am I supposed to do when it's hard?

Sometimes the game's boring. Sometimes it doesn't match my taste. Sometimes it just isn't easy.

But if I can do it like today… I'll get through it.

"Alright, alright, fighting!!"

Yeah. Hang in there. You're doing great. Seona is always the best!!

Aigoo. This is why habits are terrifying. I accidentally said out loud something that was supposed to stay inside my head.

But it's fine. It's not like I've never made a mistake before.

You just smooth it over when this happens.

It's all part of grinding the exp. Every self-help book hammers the same most important point.

Always think positive. That's how you grow.

"Let's do this!! Alright then… I'm going to list Haruka's good points."

What's the defining trait of a sweet person? Complimenting nonstop. Ehehe. Just you wait.

I'm about to show you the full power of my compliment spam!!

"Good point number one. She's ridiculously pretty."

Honestly, my type was the Class President. How do I put this—I like that sharp, fierce kind of look in the eyes. One-line review: I like women who are just coolly pretty.

How.ev.er. Now that Haruka is… my girl… Haruka is the prettiest.

"She's just so pretty. Yeah. And Haruka's charm isn't even about her face."

I can say this with confidence.

My girlfriend's best feature is—

"Her chest. Massive chest. She's got the kind of massive chest that could handle ten babies latching on no problem."

Where else are you going to find a woman like this!!

She's a patriot. A patriot. She deserves a national service medal.

Japan is, uh… you know. Low birthrate country. They should be handing national service medals to people like her.

Now that I'm looking… Haruka's hips were insanely wide too. She's tall to begin with, and her frame is big, so her pelvis is just absurd.

If I'm allowed to exaggerate a little, when the baby came out of her belly it would be going, "Mom, I'm out!! This is fun!! I wanna ride the slide again!!" That's how perfect her pelvis was.

I'm only realizing this now. Ha. Still not good enough, I guess.

"Whoa. Whoa."

All I could do was gasp in admiration.

This… this is why people say you only understand beauty when you look closely.

Seeing her up close, the charm started to show.

"Look at this…"

I hovered the mouse pointer over Haruka's hips.

It's not like that. It's not sexual harassment, it's a compliment.

I'm not even allowed to compliment my own girl?

"She's my girlfriend. I was complimenting my girlfriend."

I was genuinely frustrated. Why don't the viewers get what's in my heart? Ugh… they keep saying I'm being a creep, saying I'm saying nasty things.

Why can't they see the essence of it? I was honestly despairing.

"No. I can't fold here."

No. No way. I can't fold here.

I go my way. I'm the one steering this stream.

Believe in me. I'm the correct answer. Yeah!!

"I'm going to keep complimenting my girl. So my girlfriend is, you know…"

I put on a wistful BGM.

"So like… she's pretty… completely. Of course I like the Cla—no, I like the Class President more… but looking again, I think she's pretty. And on top of that her chest is insanely big. Biggest of the three, I think… She's a patriot. A patriot. How many babies is she going to save… sob sob."

I'd talked so much I had to pause and breathe for a second.

Focus… again.

"And… looking again, her hips are big too. Ehehe. Ehehe…"

A girl who's pretty just to look at. I like her. Good choice.

"The notepad?"

Out of nowhere? Why my delusion notes? Someone just dropped a hundred thousand won, so I scrolled all the way up and read it.

"Haruka… is basically XXXX-nim's full body. Choosing Haruka is pretty much the same as choosing XXXX-nim. You can just think of them as the same tier. Class President… X-nim but with big boobs. X-nim is that pretty. The only regret with X-nim is… her chest is small… but. It's not that small. But it is small. That was the only letdown… but here it's big. Minami is my friend XX-nim's full body. But just like with X-nim, she came out as the big-chest, wide-hip version. This is seriously impossible to choose. Way too hard."

I wrote this? When? This is not real.

I have never written anything like this.

"I've been remotely hacked."

I was truly wronged. For a whole hour I'd been doing something this filthy? No way that happened.

"This is ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a hack."

Yesss. I've got people on my side. It was a hack. Because if it wasn't… there's no way I would have written something like this.

"Thank you…!! I knew I'd have people on my side."

Yeah, it's the hacker's fault. I never did any of this.

Whew… thank god. I knew I'd have people on my side!!

Honestly I know the hacker thing is a stretch. But it would be nice if people played along, right? So I forced it.

The moment I ended stream, I deleted the delusion notes on the spot.

That notebook was way too dangerous. I'm never showing it on stream again.

I never dreamed it would hit this hard.

I thought I'd just been scribbling nonsense. I was wrong.

"Haa… from now on I should keep it on the second monitor."

Yeah. I learned something big. I grew, didn't I? I might forget this, so I wrote it on a sticky note and stuck it to the monitor.

I grew, okay? You know that stuff is bad.

I'm not doing it anymore. I'm not!! I only did it because I didn't know. Once I know, I stop.

I'm an intellectual and a human being!!

"Mom!!"

Today is a seriously busy day. Even after stream, I've still got stuff to do.

Not so much work as having a good time.

Just thinking about going to the amusement park had my tension climbing nonstop.

If a stream going well is tension level 5… and a day with lots of donations is level 10… right now I'm at 8.

There is no one who can stop me right now. There cannot be.

I was that happy.

"Mom!!"

"What is it?"

"I'm going to the amusement park."

"With who?"

"With Tteok-nim."

"Tteok-nim…? Who's that?"

"You know… she came over before… the one with the gigantic chest."

Mom's expression went ice-cold in real time.

"You shouldn't talk like that."

"But… you know who I mean, right?"

"Still no. You'll get scolded. For real."

"Yes ma'am!! Ehehe."

If she understood from that description… yeah, people really are all the same.

"When are you coming back?"

"Um… eleven? Ten-thirty? I'm going to play until closing."

"Closing? You mean closing time…"

"Yes!! Exactly. So I'm heading out."

"Alright. Be careful."

"Got it! Salute salute…!!"

"Alright. Take lots of pictures. Be careful out there."

Huh? This isn't right. Mom? Wait? Mom's changed…!! She's changed. In the old days she would've told me to go have fun with ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠my friend and handed me allowance. Why isn't she giving me any?

She used to give me a hundred thousand won whenever this happened.

Where did my allowance go?

"Mom, my allowance."

"Allowance?"

"You always give me allowance when I go out with friends."

"Aigoo~ Our Seona has a job now. You should play with the money you earned."

"No… then what about allowance?"

"There is none. All the money Mom would give you for allowance is going into savings, so don't worry."

"But… spending it now is what makes it fun."

Mom shook her head as she spoke.

"No. You have to save a lot when you're saving."

"Hmm… okay… I'll just head out for now!!"

Mom's triple head-shake is an absolute pattern nobody can beat. Nothing I can do…?!

I grew. I actually felt it in my body just now.

Normally… I would've thrown a tantrum, going please just give me allowance…

I just let it go. Is this "growth"? Is this "composure"?

"Alright. Be careful out there. If you're going to be late, call me. Mom will come pick you up."

"Yes!! I'll go like an airplane!!"

"If you go too fast you'll get hurt."

"Then… like a turtle. Crawling along. Ehehe."

"Then you'll be late, won't you?"

"Ah!! Your logic is always incredible."

Mom's logic is always incredible. You can't win against it.

In that case. Accepting the feedback, I ran faster than a turtle and slower than a plane… going zip zip.

"I want to get there already!! Ehehe."

Thanks to Maru-nim, I'd discovered the joy of amusement parks.

Back in school, going to an amusement park just meant wandering around, looking at my phone, or sitting somewhere. Then I went once with Maru-nim.

And I realized I had to ride the attractions nonstop.

Especially… the thrill of those rides that shoot ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you up into the sky and then drop you—there's just no way to put it into words.

"Uh…"

I was about to leave, but what should I wear? First open the window. Check today's weather.

"Hmm… it's warm."

So, thin clothes? But won't it be cold by ten? What do I do? It would be so much easier if it were full winter or full summer.

Times like this are the most awkward.

If everyone else is in padding and I'm the only one in thin clothes, it feels a little uncomfortable.

Like I'm the one person outside the standard… I hate that.

What should I do… and then it hit me.

"Yes~ hello?"

"Tteok-nim. Tteok-nim."

"Yes~ I'm on my way right now."

"No!! What are you wearing? Should I dress warm? Should I dress cold?"

My tension was at level 8, so I couldn't bleed the excitement out of my body.

"Uwaah!! I don't know. I don't know!! Tell me~!!"

"Ehehehehehehe. I dressed comfortably. It's not that cold today. Just wear something light and bring one outer layer."

"Oooh!! Got it. I'll get ready super super super fast!! Ehehe."

Tension level 8. I am buzzing. I cannot control it.

"Hahahaha. Alright. I'll call you when I get there."

"Yes!! Then I'll be waiting!!"

Seona is on the move!! Just you wait. Ehehe.