Prosecutor Seon-a, 9th Grade Civil Servant (1)
9th Grade Civil Servant Prosecutor Seon-a here. (1)
Now that I’ve got a manager, I can leave the chat in capable hands. “Sounds good.”
I studied my manager closely. Manager… you’re supposed to be moderating the chat right now, aren’t you? She hadn’t typed a single message in ages. I kept pulling up and closing the list of messages from the viewer who’d been promoted to manager. She really wasn’t chatting at all.
“Manager-nim, are you scared of Goroshi? Why’d you go quiet all of a sudden?”
I thought you were brave… Guess not? Are you a coward?
“Uh… that’s not it!! The person who used to spam 999 messages suddenly stopped chatting. Look. Just a minute ago she was—pfft. Oh, I see. Is that the concept? You were typing like crazy earlier. Where’d you go? Are you slacking off?”
Did you suddenly turn all serious just because your position changed? That’s kind of disappointing too. We were all like “we’re friends, we’re friends,” and now that you’re the class rep you’re acting all strict… Are you the type who ignores your friends once you get promoted?! If you’re the class rep you should be handing out hamburgers! Ah…! You did hand out subscription tickets though…!! Good class rep. But why aren’t you saying anything!!
“Did you go to sleep…? We’re about to collab… Are you sleeping instead of managing the chat?”
Huh. Right. Our stream isn’t a social room. Viewers get banned instantly if they get caught socializing. Even I’d forgotten, but the manager remembered. Is this person a college grad? Must have a long academic record.
“Wait, Manager-nim, did you graduate from university?”
“Right? You all felt it too, didn’t you? She made me feel intellectually inferior. Manager-nim, you’re a college grad, aren’t you? I’m just a high school graduate!!”
“I’m a high school graduate. I even got the perfect attendance award for three years. Do you all know how impressive a three-year perfect attendance award is?”
If you miss even one day it’s mission failed!! Everyone’s been to school, so you know. I don’t know about university though. I never went. Do universities give perfect attendance awards if you show up for four years straight? I’m genuinely curious now.
“Ah! I just thought of something. Do universities give perfect attendance awards if you don’t miss any days for four years?”
“What… is it yes or no?”
The opinions are split so I’m confused. Ugh!! Does it depend on the school? I really don’t know anything about university. Are you happy tricking people who don’t know? At this rate someone’s gonna tell me I need a passport to go to Jeju Island!! I actually believed my dad when he said if I didn’t bring my passport I’d have to come back!!
Who’s right? Hmm… Hmm. Ah!! It doesn’t matter who’s right. I’m not going to university anyway. It’s just gossip. Why do I need to know?
“I don’t know. I can’t go to university anyway.”
Since I’m not going to university anyway I’m not interested… Actually, there is one thing. Hiking. Going hiking together. I don’t really like hiking either. Back when Dad suggested it I hated it. But when he offered me allowance… I reluctantly went along. It’s annoying and irritating while you’re going, but when you think about getting allowance at the summit you start grinning. Then when you come down and get paid you’re completely happy. At first I didn’t get what was so good about hiking, but after trying it I understood. It’s really hard. And people do it for free? Hmm… Why? I wanted to experience that in college. Why on earth would anyone do it for free? I wanted to try hiking with my classmates and shout “We’ve reached the summit of Such-and-Such University’s Such-and-Such Department!!” at the top. I really wanted to know what free hiking feels like.
“I’ve got it!! Hiking. Let’s all go hiking together!!”
“What’s wrong with hiking!! We should do stuff like that too. Ah!! I’ll go hiking with Pyeong-nim later.”
Pyeong-nim is my subordinate, after all. So it’s worth going once for the company. Standing at the summit. A little refresh.
“What!! You were there?”
Speak of the tiger and it appears—right on cue.
“Let’s go hiking. Let’s go once. I’ll set up a schedule later.”
If the boss says go, you go. It’s not like I’m asking on a weekend off or anything—it’s during company hours. It’s not a bad thing. But the public opinion is terrible. Still, what can I do? For health, growth, and happiness, it has to be done.
“Don’t worry. I won’t go anywhere too high. I’ll pick a place where we can reach the summit in about an hour.”
Even if the mood is bad, I’m doing it. It’s for the company. Why are you all like this? You’re customers, not employees!! I wanted to say that but I didn’t have to. As expected, the best talent.
“You’re fine with it? See? I knew it. Let’s go in the spring. It’s too cold now, so… we’ll go once in spring.”
Of course we’re not going now. It’s cold. Who hikes in the cold? We should just stay home. I meant we’d go when the weather warms up. Whether I’ll actually remember is another question. If I remember, we’ll go. If not… I’ll forget and go whenever I remember again.
Looking at the time… Wow!! I feel like I talked about a lot of stuff productively. Time to head to the collab, right?
“Anyway, yeah. I’m heading to the collab now!!”
The game was simple. Four animals sat around a round table playing Russian roulette. But there was an added psychological element—you could check whether the other person was bluffing or not. If a K came out, you had to verify if the opponent had played the K correctly. If you guessed right, they shot themselves in the head. If you were wrong, you shot yourself. Each person had six chances, but since it was Russian roulette you could die immediately or fill all six… It was 100% luck.
“Hello everyone!! Wait, Seon-a-nim…!!”
“Yes?”
I arrived five minutes early, but only Maem-nim was there. The moment I joined, Maem-nim spoke to me.
“You called her Merona-nim, right? No, it was Marumotddeok-nim.”
“Yes, Merona-nim.”
“No… There is no Merona-nim. The person you’re talking about is Marumotddeok-nim.”
“Yes. That’s right.”
Merona-nim or Moddeok-nim, they’re synonyms… What’s the problem? Her chest is huge like a melon… so the nickname became Merona. What’s wrong with that?
“Merona-nim’s chest is literally the size of a melon.”
“Ack!!!! No. Hahaha. Stop!! Don’t say things like that!! She’s not even here… That’s sexual harassment!!”
“Sexual harassment? Facts can’t be sexual harassment, Maem-nim.”
“Huh? No. No, it’s not. It’s not.”
“Your attempts to appeal with your own assets… don’t work on me.”
Is she trying to appeal with her own assets like that? I don’t know anything about that. Hmph. I know nothing. I don’t even know what breasts are. She knows how to make beef broth. The old me wouldn’t have known. But the current me is different. I’m someone who watches Raming’s beef broth-making method every day. Raming does the same thing to us. Like, sexual…? 19? Breasts are 19? Honestly I don’t get it. Anyway, whenever that comes up I just pretend to be mature. Pretend to be an innocent beauty who knows nothing. Eek.
“I’ve grown so much that I can see through those kinds of appeals right away. My broths have grown a lot too… so I know all about that ‘eek, innocent beauty’ concept. Haven’t you seen Raming’s video? There’s one called ‘How to Make Grown-Up Broth.’ Watch it. You can grow too, Maem-nim. You can’t keep making broth the old way. That system’s outdated now.”
“Ehehehehe. When did I ever make broth? When!!”
“Just now!!”
Counterargument. A perfect counterargument. She’s giggling while making broth again? Did she think I wouldn’t notice!! The grown-up Seon-a is truly scary. She even sees through this? Wow, I surprised myself. If I had to compare it, right now it’s like I passed the 9th grade civil servant exam and became a prosecutor. Yeah. I know everything I need to know. The 5th grade exam is really hard—it’s called the administrative exam, right? I know!! The bar exam is for picking lawyers now. Once you pass the civil service exam you become 5th grade for judges and 9th grade for prosecutors. So I did the 9th grade one. Are there 5th grade prosecutors too? Hmm, probably? Anyway, it’s a civil servant!! Probably.
“Genius idiot high school graduate three-year perfect attendance prosecutor (not the sword kind) Yoo Seon-a, 9th grade civil servant. Mwahahaha. Mwahahaha.”
“Hihihihihi. No. Seon-a-nim, seriously. Hihihih.”
“Maem-nim. See you in court. Mwahahaha.”
“Me? Why? Hihihihi.”
“You made broth and lied saying you didn’t. Lying is a serious crime. Mwahahaha.”
I’m going to prove that you made broth. I’ll go through it point by point and find you guilty!! Just wait. 9th grade civil servant Prosecutor Yoo Seon-a is coming!!
“Hello? 9th grade civil servant Prosecutor Yoo Seon-a here. Heh, all the evidence is out.”
Without realizing it, I burst out laughing so hard my stomach hurt. It’s so cool!! Super cool. Me, I’m taking down the bad guys. Hehe.