The Pirate King Who Isn't a Pirate

When I played it completely shameless, Yuka didn't dare talk back.

She'd lost two Sekibune in the blink of an eye. If Hannamguk really had three Geobukseon—

"An island nation like Japan might not even be able to catch fish anymore."

Yuka flinched at the threat, just for a second.

To my surprise, she fired right back.

"The next time you bring a fleet, Hannamu, Japan will be ready. I may have lost today, but I am not an opponent to be laughed at."

Every word out of her mouth was cold and heavy. She'd definitely nailed the ice-princess image. Even so, she couldn't hide the stiffness in her posture. She wasn't showing it openly, but inside she had to be sweating bullets.

"So… what is it you want from us, Hannamu?"

One way or another, my bluff seemed to have landed. Yuka must have been picturing a Geobukseon fleet hitting Tokyo any second, because she offered me three thousand gold and told me, in so many words, to get lost for today.

Like I'd fall for a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠half-assed performance like that. Japan might have taken a beating this time, but it was still a civilization with a lot more left to squeeze.

"Is that what you think Japan's life is worth? A measly three thousand gold?"

"You're the one who plundered Japan's coastline with Geobukseon, Hannamu. That I can only scrape together three thousand gold as the price of our lives because of your raiding… even I, the Shogun, find that regrettable."

This bitch had a way with words. A mouthy cunt like hers only shut up once you shoved a dick in it.

"You want a war, Yuka?"

"Yes. If you refuse the three thousand gold, Japan's samurai will fight until they die."

I actually flinched at the Shogun's unflinching bushido. Judging by her earlier reaction, Yuka had already conceded that Hannamguk had three Geobukseon in total, and that the Japanese navy wouldn't be beating that broken unit anytime soon—

So she'd really throw away her own civilization just to save face…?

I only laughed at how pathetic I was once I'd snapped out of it. Every civilization, every ruler, was born with a different personality and a different goal. But that didn't change the fact that Yuka was an NPC from History. Every ruler was designed to win the game.

The reason Yuka was burning her bridges right now wasn't pride—

That's just the best play Japan has right now.

I'd been fooled by how haughty her face looked.

A moment later, I pressed her on whether Japan's situation was really that bad.

"Maintaining a fleet like this costs a fortune. And piracy doesn't succeed every time. On top of that, these past few days, we've been the ones getting plundered by you, Hannamu."

"You hit Busan first. That's why I came to hit Japan, sushi girl. Let's get that straight."

"If Busan suffered… gomen…"

Yuka suddenly tucked her hair behind her ear and apologized. She had a pretty face, so the shy look was cute too. A little out of left field, but still.

"Japan starves if we don't pirate. I have to send my men out raiding, even handing out rewards I can barely afford, just so my people can eat."

Yuka started explaining Japan's current situation. She wasn't the reckless Shogun I'd taken her for.

"At first we only… resorted to piracy when the fish just wouldn't bite."

They'd researched navigation around the same time and gotten a taste of their unique unit, the Sekibune. The problem was that the piracy they'd started back then had stacked up a mountain of karmic debt.

"Japan is an island nation, Hannamu. The population keeps growing but the land stays the same, so there's never enough food."

"You could get food through trade instead of raiding, couldn't you?"

"…And what am I supposed to do when nobody will trade with Japan?"

In the end, the warmonger penalty was the problem. Once the reputation of "a country that does nothing but wage war every day" spread, civilizations that had already been raided refused to open relations with Japan, and even the ones that hadn't been hit yet wouldn't send cargo ships — image management.

So they were subsistence pirates.

Surrounded by ocean, they couldn't easily expand into food-producing land. So they had no choice but to pirate, which made them warmongers, which made everything worse. A vicious cycle.

Having laid out her circumstances, Yuka asked for my understanding.

"If three thousand gold isn't enough to satisfy a man like you, Hannamu, then you're welcome to fight me. But the Shogun and the samurai will never surrender, even if every last warrior dies."

"What, so even if Hannamguk wins, we lose?"

"Sou desu ne. The Geobukseon are superior at sea, but if you land on Japanese soil and face my samurai, you'll lose troops too, Hannamu."

Then Yuka added one last thing.

"Japan was never a resource-rich island to begin with. But if you want to take my land, I won't stop you. You might just be a dumber ruler than I gave you credit for, Hannamu."

The kind of guy who'd obsess over a hollow shell like Japan.

"……"

When Yuka finished her speech, not just the Japanese but our side went quiet too. I'd started this holding all the cards and even I was impressed, so the reaction wasn't surprising.

I had to admit it. Yuka was wearing a kimono, but the way she carried herself wasn't very sushi-girl of her. The Shogun didn't cower much even ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠in front of a stronger man.

I actually like that.

So I changed the plan. I'd originally come just to get revenge for the Busan raid, but after talking with Yuka, I decided I needed to bring her over to my side. A better strategy had just occurred to me, too.

To take Yuka in, I made her an offer she couldn't refuse.

"…Gomen. I refuse."

"You don't even have to give me the three thousand gold. And you won't need to pay tribute going forward, either."

"Hannamu. Are you playing games with me right now, or were you always this baka?"

"I might be a dumbass. Because I'm offering to sponsor you so you can pirate to your heart's content."

Yuka's catlike eyes went wide. So did Ye-ji's. My daughter, who had no idea what her daddy was cooking up, whispered in my ear.

"Dad… that's not how you negotiate—ooh?!"

Instead of answering, I grabbed Ye-ji's pussy hard enough to burst. I wasn't about to miss this opportunity over some pregnant slave of a daughter.

A moment later, once I'd laid out the plan in more detail, Yuka nodded too. A woman who almost never showed emotion started blurting "etto…" in surprise. Even a strong woman like her turned into an obedient sushi girl if you stroked her the right way.

"Then, Hannamu-kun… will you accept Japan as your vassal?"

"Of course. As long as Yuka does as she's told."

And just like that, I scooped up a sushi girl.

Lately the Japanese girls' piracy had gone completely off the rails.

Did plunder have a peak season?

Yuka's Sekibune fleet, now twice as large as before, started hitting places they'd never gone, stripping everything in sight.

Polynesia, an island civilization sitting well off the continent. Queen Lupe wanted to throw herself into the sea over the pirate ships again today.

"Your Majesty, those bitches are back!!"

"Th-those awful women…! They hit us yesterday — what's the deal coming back today!!"

Pago Pago. The name was pretty damn cute, but you couldn't ignore where the city had been founded. The waters it sat on were a treasure chest.

Even setting aside the oil nobody could use yet, it had every resource imaginable. When Lupe first discovered Pago Pago, she hadn't handed out free crabs to her people for nothing. The waters beneath Pago Pago were a gold mine.

But having resources didn't mean anything if they kept getting stolen. No — Pago Pago wasn't even "a city that produces ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠nothing" anymore. It was just outright "a city that only ran at a loss."

"Stop…. They're just going to steal it again anyway."

"But Your Majesty, without boats we can't go out to—"

"—Let's just stay off the ocean from now on. We're short on firewood as it is, so quit building boats!"

Even the production and gold it took to pump out fishing boats felt like a waste now. Why bother when they'd just sink to the bottom of the sea tomorrow?

We're finished…

Polynesia had lost every warship in the last naval battle. Shogun Yuka being a Great Admiral was part of it, but the real problem was that there were just way too many Sekibune — a unique unit. A scale that made anyone look twice and think, is this even allowed?

Lupe, who didn't know the circumstances, just thought, wow, Japan really is a huge civilization. Of course, whether she realized it or not, Pago Pago kept getting hit.

Sometimes a little, sometimes a whole fucking lot — but the fact that they got hit every single day never changed. Pago Pago grew more desolate under the Japanese girls' raiding, and as fishing boats vanished from the sea, the population dropped below three.

"It's a ghost town… Pago Pago has become a ghost town…"

Pago Pago, which had gone from gold-mine land to Polynesia's headache in no time. Lupe spent every day wondering how to get rid of this piece of trash.

"I've always been a little too fond of cities with a beach."

That was around the time a man named Hannam showed up. The constant smirk on his face wasn't the most pleasant thing to look at, but he didn't seem like a bad person. As it turned out, he was the ruler of a civilization, and he made Lupe an offer she couldn't refuse.

"Would you transfer Pago Pago to Hannamguk?"

"What? That place has pirates— no…. You won't regret this, my lord."

Hannamguk made a measly 240 gold from dumping a single serving of breast milk, but hey, it was something.

Heheheh! What an idiot. Paying money for a city that only loses money!

Truth be told, Lupe had been ready to hand over Pago Pago even without getting paid. Once the plundering started, it was a white elephant that only cost money to maintain and repair. Holding onto Pago Pago was actually a net loss.

Lupe believed she was the one who'd come out ahead on the deal.

That is… right up until Pago Pago exploded.

By this point Lupe was screaming with injustice, but she couldn't buy back a city she'd already sold. Hannam, of course, firmly refused Polynesia's request.

"…That's ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠why holding onto Pago Pago only loses you money, haha."

"Hm. Pirates stirring up the city, you say? Well… the only ships I can see from Pago Pago are fishing boats."

Lupe looked toward the harbor too, and it really did seem that way. The dozen-odd fishing boats covering Pago Pago's coastline looked like a swarm of locusts.

Why on earth? Now that every resource buried in the city had been developed… this was supposed to be the perfect season to plunder Pago Pago.

"I really have no idea, Your Majesty…"

"Mm. I don't get it either, honestly."

Embarrassed, Lupe scratched the side of her head. There were just too many things in this world that couldn't be explained.