Religious War — Lord Cock, Not Pussy Bitches (1)
In the blink of an eye, a newborn faith had swallowed Nazca whole: Hannamgyo.
And at the eye of that storm stood a Great Prophet.
"You think a fat ass alone is going to save you? The world is crawling with delicious pussy — don't you dare imagine Lord Cock is going to single you out and fuck you!"
The moment Ximena, founder of Hannamgyo, began preaching in the square, women flocked around her like a cloud. The speech was a stew of sexual harassment and female degradation so thick that any ordinary passerby might have thrown rocks — yet the women of Nazca hung on every word, entranced.
"The end is near, you bitches!!"
Because Ximena was a born con artist. Her ranting brimmed with words like "apocalypse" and "rivers of blood," and any woman who dared ask a question or pick a fight was instantly branded an empty-cunt slut.
"How are we supposed to convert overnight?"
"I never forced a thing on you, you ignorant empty-cunt whore! Insulting Lord Cock and marching straight to hell is your freedom."
"Lady Ximena, that isn't what I me—"
"—Born with a female body and you still feel no duty to serve men?! Why is it that you'll shamelessly shake your ass in front of a towering cock, yet refuse to worship the man that cock is attached to?!"
Ximena's sermons were garbage without a scrap of nutritional value. And yet every time that charismatic woman unleashed her exaggerated delivery and theatrical gestures, a fresh crop of idiots would cheer on pure impulse —
"Huh…? Maybe that woman has a point?"
—and get swept up in the mass hysteria until they swallowed the new faith whole.
Sure, you could blame the beautiful-girl patch. But if you really think about it, isn't that how every religion gets started?
God is great! Die for Him and you'll go to heaven and fuck endless virgins!
Hard to believe, but one of humanity's four major religions has lines like that written right into its scripture. The concept of a "harem ending" has over a thousand years of history behind it.
Maybe Hannamgyo is the saner one?
Still, that religion's founder was a man worth studying. At first he looked like he was racing to convert every neighboring nation at breakneck speed for a religious victory — pure fake-out. Later he lost the plot, quietly stuffing the scripture with doctrines that despised women and glorified violence… and in the end he rolled over the Middle East, Africa, and even Spain in Europe for a conquest victory.
And right now — the very moment Ximena had converted everyone — was the time to copy that "Great Prophet" of history.
Select the tenets that will define your religion.
Found a major religion and you get two free doctrines on the spot. The key is the combo. For my first doctrine, I took Holy Wrath.
+33% Combat Strength against combat units of other civilizations or city-states that follow Hannamgyo
Saving souls isn't the only useful thing a religion can do. It drifts a little from religion's original purpose, sure — but a civilization with a god in its corner gets a whole lot closer to conquest victory.
Of course the world has plenty of faiths besides Hannamgyo, and people don't change what they believe overnight. Converting Greece — a civilization that worships its own gods like Athena and Zeus — wasn't going to be a walk in the park.
"Until every pussy-bitch on this planet — not just Nazca and Hannamguk — learns some goddamn humility—"
But looking at my possessed little daughter, I felt hope. With Ximena at my side, maybe one day even those Greek bitches would stop serving some cloud-dwelling deity and start serving my Lord Cock instead. And when that day came, Holy Wrath would finally fire for real.
Still — no room for complacency.
Would Helen, a devout worshipper of Athena, just sit back and let a religion that venerates Hannam's meat pillar spread through her civilization? If I got cocky and put all my faith in the Great Prophet alone, I'd get my nose broken. Time to lock in the second doctrine.
If a Missionary is persecuted in another civilization's city, that city is immediately converted to Hannamgyo.
In the original game, "persecution" meant execution. But I'd been dropped into a world running a creampie mod, so the rules were different. Witch hunts, heresy trials — whatever form the persecution took, nobody was chopping a religious unit's head off.
Kh-hhhk… Even if you bitches lock a chastity belt on me, I still receive the blessing of God!!
In a beautiful-girl-patched world, "persecution" meant humiliation porn like that. More warlike civilizations might go further — cuffing missionaries in restraints, stuffing steel beads up their asses, the full sexual-torture package — but still.
Losing your pride as a woman still beats dying, right?
Send Martyr girls into Greece, spread Hannamgyo in a single stroke, then march my army in and unleash Holy Wrath. That was the plan. Heart racing, I confirmed both doctrines.
Strategy locked. Now all that was left was execution.
Consumed 260 Faith to produce a Missionary
Consumed 290 Faith to produce a Missionary…
I started pumping out Missionaries to spread Hannamgyo into other civilizations' cities. To stop players from mindlessly carpet-bombing the map with religion, each Missionary cost more than the last — but luckily I had the reserves to tank that penalty. Hannamguk was on excellent terms with the religious city-state of Nazca, which meant I was sitting on a friendly-state bonus.
Produce two Missionaries in Nazca and receive one free.
The legendary two-for-one special. No wonder I was feeling divine.
Before long I'd recruited six Missionary girls to preach Hannamgyo's transcendent ideology — and with three freebies stacked on top, the total hit nine. Every last one of them had chests swollen so full it was obvious Lord Cock's gospel had left a deep impression.
Hannamgyo's Missionaries introduced themselves with something approaching clerical dignity.
"Cock is superior to pussy. That is the law of the universe."
"When a man with a cock gets angry, a bitch must strip and offer up her tits! There's a reason a woman's milk jugs are so soft, you know."
"If you cum in my pussy, I'll get pregnant on the spot… If you cum in my mouth, I'll swallow immediately… Even if you cum on my face, I just have to rub it i—"
Girls whose fertile seasons had hit every bit as hard as our Great Prophet's. Ximena, however, was less than impressed.
"That level of resolve won't cut it for missionary work, you empty-cunt sluts!"
If all they had to do was wander into another city and go, "Hey, wanna try a blowjob?" then the current level of heat might have been enough. But every girl we'd just recruited was destined to go beyond Missionary — straight into Martyr. So Great Prophet Ximena put them through a far harsher sexual education.
"Our merciful, cock-bearing god who never rests from packing our wombs full of seed — for Hannam, you must not refuse even the abuse of your own pussy. Understood?"
"Yes, Great Prophet! Even if our pussies tear open, we will serve Hannam!"
"Greek girls are all stubborn bitches. No matter how hard you preach, they won't grasp how great Lord Cock is. Those ignorant whores might even brand you — Lord Cock's own messengers — as heretics, and try to ram spears into your pussies and asses. You're all ready for that, right?"
"Those holes will one day be spread open on Hannam's massive cock until they become caves anyway! A few white-horse bitches poking us with spears aren't going to pop a hymen!"
Even knowing I'd founded this religion myself, listening to them still sent a chill crawling up my spine. But it was also true that their shameless bitch-in-heat display made my heart pound.
With girls like these on the job, even Greece…
…would lose its native faith for good. Looking at Hannamgyo's beautiful-girl Martyrs, that fantasy kept rising unbidden.
Argos — a Greek city blessed with fertile land and a vast sea. Aside from the reserve troops Helen had mustered a few months back for the war against Hannamguk, the place had been peaceful. Now a storm was tearing through it.
"Citizens of Argos, it is time to wake up! You should be on your knees serving Hannam the Virile — and instead you're worshipping this pussy-bitch?!"
The Heraion, said to be the holiest temple in all of Argos. In a sanctuary meant to honor the Greek goddess Hera, some big-assed bitch was spewing filthy words. Naturally, Hera's faithful were not amused.
"Kyaaak!! I'm only preaching the word of the great Hannam, people of Argos… mmph?!"
"I'll seal that mouth-pussy of yours so you never spew that filth in Lady Hera's temple again, you barbarian slut!"
Enraged by the Missionary's area-of-effect aggro, the women of Argos decided that today's offering to Hera would not be a pig — it would be this Hannam-whore. And so the vicious sexual torture began.
"Where's this 'Hannam' you keep yapping about, huh? Puhaha!"
The beautiful Missionary from Nazca took womb-punch after womb-punch from Argive fists. Before long she was forced to bite down on her own panties while white-horse bitches pinched her clit and nipples without rest.
Slrrrk…
She didn't want to get turned on — but with her most sensitive spots being fingered raw, pussy juice ran down her thighs in thick streams. Caught between pleasure and humiliation, two sensations that had no business mixing, the Missionary's whole body shuddered — and the citizens of Argos piled on the mockery.
"Heeheehee! This is what you get for desecrating Lady Hera — this shameful humiliation! Tsk. Getting this worked up just because another woman touches your cunt… you savage fuck-sleeve."
And then, right as the Missionary's eyes rolled back in orgasm —
"……."
A miracle no one could believe unfolded before them.
Flames suddenly roared up from the temple altar, twisting into a shape so grotesque it defied description: Hannam pinning Hera, goddess of Olympus, and railing her from behind.
Aaahn! Not my husband… not even a god — and you're taking my pussyyy?! I don't wanna get pregnant on this pathetic cock—!!
Hera, you're a goddess and you're getting fucked doggy-style? That hole should be sucking on Zeus's cock — why is it swallowing my glans and drooling pussy spit?
The bitches of Argos took this impossible vision as a divine revelation. Eyes finally opened to the new faith, they no longer tried to fist the Nazca Missionary's pussy.
A Missionary of Hannamguk is gang-raped in the temple of the heretical goddess Hera and becomes a Martyr!
Her eyes may have been flipped back in orgasm… but the newly minted Martyr radiated a holy aura all the same.
Hannamgyo becomes the dominant religion of the city of Argos!
And so the curtain rose on the religious war between Olympus and Hannam.