The Wish I Want to Fulfill With You
I hurried toward the playground where Yuri would be.
The one with nothing but a swing, a slide, and a jungle gym.
"Just as I thought—this is the place! Yuri! Yuuuri—!"
At the very top of the jungle gym.
Golden hair fluttered in the breeze, catching the moonlight and glowing.
She was reaching toward the sky, whispering something like a soliloquy.
The moment she noticed me, she turned her head and flashed a bright, clear smile.
I smiled back at her and tried to slow my steps, but—
"...?"
Yuri closed her eyes and tilted her body as if bidding farewell.
She shouldn't do that.
She would fall.
It was quite high, even for a middle-schooler.
No matter how strong Clear's physical abilities were, hitting the ground at that angle would be—
But the Yuri with the Clear personality didn't stop.
She seemed to speak once more to the personality inside her, then flung herself forward.
"Fuck... seriously!"
I had just witnessed the wreckage of Yuri's past.
And now, the instant I showed up, she was throwing herself from a height?
This time, I was truly furious with her.
Even so, my body was already surging toward her with everything it had.
I can catch her.
I must catch her.
I won't miss this time.
In this life, I will protect her no matter what.
"Reach—!!"
I kicked off the sandy playground floor and launched into a full slide.
Her hair had already shifted from gold to a pink bob, and just before she hit the ground—
Shaaah!
I caught Yuri in my arms by the narrowest of margins.
Of course, I hadn't given a single thought to controlling my speed when I dove.
Crash!!!!
My body slammed into the railing of the swing area beside the jungle gym.
It stopped me, sure, but the pain was excruciating.
"Ugh... what the hell kind of midnight suffering is this?"
"Noah...?"
The original Yuri looked up at me, eyes wide.
To reassure her, I caught my breath and smiled.
"Hey, Yuri. Honestly, I don't even know where to start. So if you'll let me borrow a corny old line... it's a beautiful moonlit night."
The completely mismatched, cringeworthy line made Yuri burst into a small snort of laughter.
She immediately clapped both hands over her mouth, but it was too late.
One way or another, I really do think my childhood friend is wonderful.
There were so many things I wanted to say, a whole lecture prepared.
Yet the moment I saw that smile, every bit of poison in my heart melted away.
Yuri cautiously reached out and brushed my cheek.
Softly. Tenderly.
"...Really? Sorry, I wouldn't know, Noah."
"That's cold. You could at least lie and say it's beautiful~"
"Hehe. But... right now, wrapped in your arms like this, I can't see the moon at all. Your worried face is already making my head spin..."
I couldn't hold back anymore and pulled her even closer.
She flinched in surprise for a second, then wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me tight.
I stroked her pink hair and grumbled with just a hint of complaint.
"I was worried."
"Yeah."
"I was really worried."
"Hehe..."
"More than anyone else."
"I'm happy, Noah."
"I was so worried I couldn't see anything else."
"That's dangerous. You'll fall over."
"You're quick to call me out on it. Anyway, I was worried, Yuri."
"...Thank you."
"So just let me hold you like this a little longer."
"I didn't know you could be this spoiled, Noah."
"Disappointed?"
"It's actually what I hoped for. I never liked being the only one always leaning on you."
She whispered and tightened her arms around my neck.
Strangely, it didn't feel stifling at all.
Because simply being able to meet her like this was enough to put my heart at ease.
We stayed like that for a while, holding each other until the warmth between us settled.
When our breaths had quietly mingled and our heartbeats slowly returned to their normal rhythm, Yuri—still not looking away from me—spoke shyly.
"...Noah. About the diary in the game. Did you read all of it?"
"...Yeah. It didn't feel right to skim through it halfway. I'm sorry."
She chuckled softly and shook her head.
"Clear told you to look at it. She's more honest than any of the other personalities. So honestly, I wanted you to see it too. You don't need to apologize."
"I feel responsible. If I hadn't lost contact that day..."
Yuri pressed a finger to my lips.
Accompanied by a faint smile that said it wasn't like that at all.
"That's one thing, this is another. It just... happened that way, Noah. And you've come back to me again, haven't you?"
"Aren't you acting a little too fine with everything?"
"You're right. I'm putting up a front. You saw through the feelings I poured into those words, didn't you, Noah?"
I nodded.
Even though the text had been written calmly, the heart behind it had been festering and ready to burst.
"I was afraid it would burden the childhood friend I'd finally met again. Afraid you'd push me away instead. That's why I put up the front."
"Even now...?"
Yuri answered with a sorrowful look while still gazing at me.
Faced with those eyes, I didn't know what to say.
The whole way to the playground, I'd promised myself I would say one thing for certain.
Let's try meeting with the doctor again.
Dissociative identity disorder is, after all, a mental illness.
Simply offering emotional stability from beside her wouldn't be enough.
In stories, characters overcome it with courage or love or some emotional power, but reality doesn't work that way.
It would be nonsense to ignore the option of professional help from a doctor when it's available.
But... bringing up the hospital right now feels awkward.
She had just opened her heart. If I mentioned the hospital now, wouldn't the warmth between us freeze over?
"Noah."
As if sensing my hesitation, she spoke first.
"Yeah...?"
"You have something to tell me, don't you?"
"Don't you know me too well?"
"Because Noah can't lie~"
She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek against mine.
Then she smiled shyly again.
"You're the one who did it first, and now you're making that face?"
"Hehe. You know it's your turn now, right? It's okay—say everything~"
Aha. It was Yuri's clumsy way of being considerate.
She'd done something embarrassing, so now it was my turn—an unspoken gesture of fairness.
Then I had to find my courage too.
To her, whose face was flushed yet still fixed on me, I said:
"Yuri. It's only been two weeks since we met again... but one earnest wish has already taken root inside me."
"What wish? I hope it involves me, hee."
"It feels weird to make a selfish wish here, doesn't it~"
"Hehe, I'm fine with it. Even if this short time with you turns out to be nothing more than a fleeting dream, I've already received so much."
She really was a childhood friend who never let me lower my guard.
I almost lost the initiative again and ended up blurting out my desires.
Still... this is one wish I truly want to fulfill with you.
"Yuri. I want to go to the same high school as you."
"I want us to be in the same class, sit at the same desk, and share the same school days together."
My one and only childhood friend couldn't speak.
She simply stared with wide eyes, hands covering her mouth, face turning bright red like a ripe tomato.
Even then, her gaze never left me.
...Wait, I haven't even gotten to the main point about seeing a doctor yet.
It was an accident. Swept up in the atmosphere and impulse, I'd gone and done it.
"...That sounded exactly like a confession. Sorry, Noah. I don't know how to answer... aww..."
"No, no. Actually this is—"
"Huh? Actually this is?"
Yuri's eyes sharpened in an instant.
Her expression warned me to handle this carefully.
It was packed with the message that if I had been toying with her heart, I'd better take full responsibility.
"...It's not a lie. But what I meant was, to make that possible, you should try receiving mental treatment again."
I told her honestly.
Just as Yuri said, I was never any good at lying.
"Tsk. So mean. Noah, you dullard. Blockhead. Stubborn mule. Blockhead."
"Could you not say 'blockhead' twice as much? My grandfather is bald, so it's a genuine crisis for me."
She puffed out her cheeks—twice as big as when she usually sulked.
I almost poked them out of habit, but that would only make her sulk for real.
"But... even if you offer it, I can't eat it! You're openly scooping up naked gimbap on a spoon, feeding it to me, and even moving my chin up and down! All I have to do is swallow!"
"You know the reason, don't you, Yuri? Even if you ate it now, you wouldn't be able to truly savor it."
Honestly, if I confessed right now, we could become lovers in an instant.
So what? It would only be an empty relationship with nothing inside.
I believe that truly loving someone precious is like building a tower, one stone at a time.
Stacking each day's memories like small pebbles, and even when cracks appear, holding each other and fitting them back together.
A tower completed through that process wouldn't shake no matter what came.
Right now, we were in the stage of repairing the tower that had shattered during those three lost years.
If I carelessly placed the final piece on top without a solid foundation, it would collapse like a game of Jenga.
"I want to experience everything with you, Yuri. That's why I can't afford to lose this life."
"Noah..."
Unlike a rag like Jeong Ha-rin, I didn't just want physical pleasure.
Maybe she's the type who only does that once they're dating? Then let's date. Should we start from today?
Screw that.
The excitement you can only feel before dating.
Even the clumsy, awkward, ticklish emotions passing back and forth between us—I wanted to share every precious fragment with Yuri.
I stroked her hair and looked into her eyes.
"So... yeah. One step at a time. I'll walk beside you. It'd be a shame to just flirt at home like this, wouldn't it?"
Didn't someone once say that love isn't about facing each other, but about looking in the same direction together?
That's all I want with Yuri.
Until the very end, side by side.
