The First World
The emotion of that day. [Loading complete: 100%.]
The black screen vanished.
Yuri's very first world was finally revealed.
“It’s… simpler than I expected?”
I’d assumed that since she’d played this world for such a long time, it would be filled with some kind of grandeur or impressive achievements. Sure, there were one or two other worlds with different concepts, but this one felt almost painfully plain. Just a single wooden house shaped like a block of tofu. And the character was wearing full iron armor. This was the kind of progress a brand-new player could knock out in two hours flat.
‘Still, the character is pretty cute.’
A small figure with short pink hair and a hoodie. Thanks to the game’s simple graphics, it was nothing more than a basic model, yet somehow it felt like a faint shadow of Yuri herself. I stared at her for a moment before shifting the camera and stepping outside the house.
“A tunnel… I wonder where the tunnel is.”
The real story had to be hidden inside it. After seeing the house and the character, I was even more certain. And sure enough, it didn’t take long before I spotted a sign. The wooden board standing beside the start of the railroad tracks seemed to be calling out to me.
How was your day today?
‘So this is what she meant by a diary. She built the path like this.’
The picture was starting to come together. Yuri had truly used this world exactly as its name suggested—as her personal diary. That explained why she’d only advanced the game far enough to lay rails, then poured everything into the tunnel. The tracks probably stretched all the way to the deepest part of it. Every day she would come here, lay down a few more rails, write her feelings on a new sign, and call it a day.
When I opened the nearby chest, my theory was confirmed beyond doubt.
Signs × 99
Rails × 66
Powered Rails × 32
Iron Pickaxes × 3
Minecarts × 5
“I’ll just borrow these for a bit, Yuri.”
I grabbed what I needed and placed a minecart on the rails. Then I climbed in, docking my character to it.
Rumble—
The cart rolled forward at a leisurely pace. Except for the occasional powered rail that kept it moving straight, it simply followed the scenery, rolling onward and onward. Eventually a beach appeared beside the tracks. Shockingly, it was the exact beach I remembered.
“Sokcho… We definitely went there as a family back when I was in fourth grade…”
I remembered playing in the sand with her, splashing around in the waves. I also remembered the tiny fireworks we set off there once night fell. But the ocean in the game was only an imitation. It felt a little hollow. The world had been set to match real-world time, so it was night here too, yet the warmth of that memory was missing. Only a pale attempt at recreating it remained.
‘I wonder what she felt every time she passed this spot?’
Was it heartbreaking? Or had the feeling worn so thin over time that it had already gone numb?
Then, at last, a massive tunnel came into view. The entrance to Yuri’s heart, decorated with torches and glowing blocks.
Meanwhile, on a clear day, Yuri was walking through the neighborhood with a bright smile. Normally, when night fell, the original personality took over, so she almost never came outside. But today was different. The fresh night air tasted so sweet after such a long time that Clear couldn’t stop her feet from moving.
Of course, the original was throwing a fit inside.
Go back! Go back right now! What the hell are you thinking?!
“I don’t listen to orders from anyone weaker than me~ If you want to go back so badly, do it yourself.”
Just as Clear said, if the original personality—Yuri—truly wanted to, she could seize control of the body anytime. But right now she was the one outside. Among all of Yuri’s many personalities, only Clear could appear in the outside world. So even if she took the body back now, she would fall into a panic attack and collapse on the sidewalk. And since Noah wasn’t around to help, she’d probably just faint on the spot. That was exactly why Clear had taken over so boldly.
Damn girl.
“You know that’s like spitting while lying down, right? Cursing at yourself~”
From the original Yuri’s perspective, Clear was nothing but annoying. At the same time, she felt a twinge of envy. After all, Clear was the embodiment of her own ideals. Maybe if she hadn’t been bullied, she would have grown up with a personality like that. A faint wish. And because Clear had taken that wish to heart, she was especially bright and honest about her feelings.
“You actually want it too, don’t you? That sticky little desire for Noah not to leave us.”
…Shut up.
“Hehe~ In the end, ‘we’ are all just fragments of you. Trust me. As you already know, this is Cloudy’s plan. It’s definitely going to work, right?”
Before she knew it, her steps had carried her to an old playground. It belonged to an aging apartment complex that would soon be demolished for redevelopment. There was a crude slide, two swings hanging from rusted chains, and a jungle gym. That was all. But Clear seemed perfectly content as she sat on one of the swings and gently rocked back and forth.
“Noah used to push me on the swing all the time. Whether the sky was clear, or it was snowing, or raining.”
Clear recalled the moment she had first split off. More precisely, she was reading the original personality’s memories from her own point of view.
“It was fascinating. Not just me, but all the others too—we simply opened our eyes and existed. Then suddenly someone started talking to us from inside.”
I thought it was ridiculous when you first called me fake.
“That makes sense though, doesn’t it? I was the one moving the body at the time. When you asked me to give it back, it was pretty dizzying.”
From my perspective, I opened my eyes and the body had been stolen. Do you have any idea how terrifying that was?
“If you knew that, you wouldn’t have been called the original personality~”
She laughed brightly and pumped her legs harder, swinging higher. Back then, even when Noah pushed her, she’d been too scared to go this high. Now the height felt endlessly low. Why had she ever been afraid of it?
“Anyway… don’t worry too much. You couldn’t ride the swing before, but once you found the courage, you managed just fine, right? What we need is change.”
“As you know, if we stay like this, our personalities will collapse and we’ll all die.”
“Rather than dying without doing anything, it’s better to cause a little trouble before we go.”
…Like how Noah came back to us?
“Yes! Just like how Noah came to us like a miracle!”
Because, like the personality that appeared on rainy days, she wasn’t satisfied with simply receiving things.
(I wonder which personality wrote ‘today.’ What kind of day’s emotion is waiting inside the tunnel?)
The minecart came to an automatic stop in front of a building that looked like a checkpoint. I thought I’d have to walk from here, but—
Clank.
The pressure plate recognized the cart and activated a circuit, switching the three-way rail.
“That’s surprising. When I played, I always had someone else handle the redstone.”
Beyond the shutter, countless circuits were busily working. Soon the rail my cart was on connected to the path leading into the first section.
‘Three sections. Come to think of it, Yuri’s in her third year of middle school now. Does that mean she made a new section every year?’
The shutter rose, and the cart began rolling into the tunnel once more. As it moved, signs passed by one after another, unfolding the emotions of those days for me.
I miss you. You'll call me when you arrive in America, right?
The date showed it was right after we had parted ways, back when Yuri was in her first year of middle school.
‘The very first sign she placed after building the tunnel was already filled with longing.’
I must have made a mistake. That kid glared at me… but it should be fine by tomorrow, right?
“This… looks like it’s right before she started getting bullied.”
Even though I knew the signs ahead would be painful, I couldn’t stop the cart. What Clear wanted was for me to face all of her emotions head-on.
I'm so confused. I apologized so many times… I even got down on my knees…
Now even the other kids are avoiding me. I don't understand why.
Even when I tell the teacher, they only scold me with words.
Why did you make me and those kids apologize together in the same room?
I want to die. I want to transfer schools. I want to tell Noah… but no. He's probably struggling in America too. I don't want to burden him.
Every time another sign flashed by, my heart tightened.
“Why… why didn’t you say anything? Suffering alone doesn’t solve anything.”
My grip on the mouse grew painfully tight. Even though I had expected the pain, the raw remnants of those emotions hit me like a wave, threatening to break me. Still, the cart kept rolling deeper. The rails continued in silence, and the sentences unfolding before me sank further and further into a dark swamp.
The bullying is getting worse. Even when I tell the teacher again, they look at me like I'm the problem now.
Outside of class time, I seem to spend the most time in the bathroom. The way people look at me is getting scarier.
My contact with Noah is slowly fading. He's the only person I have left to talk to.
Even when I want to talk, there's nothing left to say.
I want to hold on, but there's nothing left to hold onto.
I hate this. I hate growing distant like this. But the fact that I can't stop it… makes me sad.
After that sign, it seemed like no more diary entries had been written for a while. The cart passed nothing but empty rails until the next sign finally appeared. Only then did I understand why.
Dad died in an accident.
I'm sorry. I couldn't put up a sign until now because of the funeral. My mind was all over the place.
The cart rolled a little farther before coming to a complete stop. This time it wasn’t to the side, but directly in front. A huge sign stood like an iron wall, blocking the middle of the path.
I'm so confused. Have I finally gone crazy? Someone else is using my body.
It's not my imagination. It's real. Please believe me. Please please please.
“…So this is how she ended up with so many personalities.”