Cool Breeze and Starlit Confessions
The cool breeze blowing through the countryside reeds felt refreshing.
Zhuge Liang sat me on his knee, facing the sky, while Huang Yueying and the man settled on either side of me.
The sky of the late Han was pristine, without a trace of smoke. The stars twinkling in the Milky Way seemed to hold some profound secret, flaunting their brilliant forms.
Gazing at the moon's halo swaying in the wind, I lost myself endlessly in the moonlight.
Huang Yueying and Zhuge Liang gently stroked my hair, and only then did I snap out of my reverie, able to hear the world's voices again.
"Are you okay!!! Are you coming to?!"
"What do we do? What do we do? Does it hurt a lot? Is your stomach alright?"
I'd passed out from heatstroke, going full delirious.
"Sniff... hic..."
Why did I have to go through this in such a pathetic state?
If only I'd been born as some mighty hero like Lü Bu. No, scratch that—Lü Bu's a no-go.
If only I'd been born as a mindless rock, just rolling around tumbleweed-style.
"Is your condition really that bad?!"
"I'll fetch a physician at once!"
"Soyoung, I'm sorry! It wasn't that hot, was it! You should have said something! Said it!"
I want to live without a single thought in my head. Watching the three of them fussing over me like that, the idea suddenly hit me.
"No, it's not that bad. Sorry."
I calmly wiped my eyes with my sleeve and straightened my posture. Uncle Gongming didn't seem pleased.
"No, we should still call a physician to check you over."
"I said I'm fine? Really, I'm good now."
"How can you be so stubborn? Your body was sobbing from the pain, wasn't it?"
"Argh!!! Enough!!! I'm so full of life I couldn't die even if I wanted to, okay?!"
The man sitting beside me looked ready to bolt at any second.
Thinking about it, Uncle Gongming's a total pushover for logic. It hit me like lightning: coming up with an excuse he'd buy would be faster.
I composed myself and put on my best pitiful-nine-year-old act, twisting my body dramatically and giving him big, teary eyes.
"Well... I was just thinking of my father, and before I knew it, this girl started sobbing."
I sold out Dad. Sorry, Dad.
But you left me first, so we're even now.
"How can our little one be so deeply filial!"
Thud thud thud boom.
As Huang Yueying started making a huge fuss, the countryside atmosphere heated up. I synced my sniffles rhythmically to her strokes.
Uncle Gongming seemed moved by the emotional vibe too—his eyes looked a bit red.
"Then... wait in the outer chamber until your heart settles, and come in."
"Yes, I will."
Zhuge Liang and the man went inside the outer chamber.
Huang Yueying, who had been glaring at their retreating figures, stopped stroking my hair and breathed warmly into my right ear.
"Soyoung, you've got talent. You're better at this than I thought."
??????
*
A true gentleman keeps his distance from women and avoids indulgence in pleasures.
Studying the footsteps of ancient sages is to avoid repeating their past mistakes, and countless examples prove how dalliances with beauty ruined state affairs.
Take Dong Zhuo—even he sealed his own fate by drowning in debauchery.
Chen Soyoung, all dressed up, was a beauty that could topple kingdoms. I'd guessed as much, but her appearance was stunningly exquisite.
Her inner self matched her outward grace perfectly—how could one's heart not be drawn?
What Zhuge Liang felt for Chen Soyoung wasn't base lust, but pity.
Like a flower on a cliffside, precarious yet stubbornly closed tight, refusing to bloom. Zhuge Liang could vaguely guess at the truth clutched in that flower bud.
But he couldn't let personal feelings cloud his judgment.
Thus, Zhuge Liang steeled his heart, retreating to the outer chamber for a moment to put distance between them.
"May I come in?"
"Enter."
Chen Soyoung came in and bowed politely.
His wife seemed to have understood the child's heart well, soothing her. Now, Chen Soyoung was back to the composed girl he'd first met.
"Your body must be weary—is it alright?"
"I'm fine. But what did you wish to ask? And who is the gentleman beside you?"
"My younger brother, Jin. He was eager to meet you, so I invited him to join us. Is it inconvenient?"
"No. Hello?"
Jin stroked Chen Soyoung's hair but said nothing.
"Well then... I shall speak to you with complete candor. Will you do the same?"
"I couldn't hide it from you even if I tried."
Chen Soyoung was right.
Yet his heart went out to this child. It was right for the words to come directly from her mouth.
"I have ties to Master Sima Hui, and thus his friends. Do you remember the three men from when we first met?"
"Yes. Sima Hui and Yuan Zhi, I think."
"You remember them after just overhearing once. My friend Xu Yuan Zhi sought office from Cao Cao and went to Xu Chang, but has now returned here. Do you know why?"
"Well, didn't that Sima Hui guy say he'd rot away in some county forever? He must not have been satisfied either."
"This time, your insight is off. Though, stories from Jingzhou about me or Sima Hui trickle in, but not much about Yuan Zhi."
"So what's the reason?"
"I heard it as a joke, and we haven't even met."
Only Yuan Zhi himself knows the truth, but since he said it, for now, that's the story.
"Yeah. I think Cao Cao regrets it."
"Ha! What makes you think that?"
"He's an outstanding man, right? If he's close enough to drink privately with you, Teacher, you wouldn't bring this up to me out of nowhere."
"Your perceptiveness is no trifle. I bring this up because this Yuan Zhi, on Master Sima Hui's recommendation, just left Yangyang yesterday."
Chen Soyoung's face flickered for a moment.
"Ah... I see. Yuan Zhi left on Sima Hui's recommendation... Why tell me this?"
"I hurriedly sent a letter to Yuan Zhi and had him escort your father, Lord Cheonma. That's why I said you won't see your father for a while."
"No!! Teacherriiim!! Please, please, please, pleeease!!!"
Chen Soyoung started hopping around in place. Her filial piety ran so deep that she fretted terribly over her father setting out on a long journey.
"Don't worry so. Yuan Zhi is exceptionally bright and could rise to commandery administrator. I trust him, so I introduced your father—understand my intent."
"But! But!!! My dad isn't cut out for that, I keep telling you! Teacher, do you know how many times I've said this? I'm going insane here! My brain's melting! I can't even guess what mess Dad'll get dragged into! Please! Can you hear me?!"
Why does she belittle her father so? Is that the bond holding her back?
If so, he needed to hear the answer from her himself.
"I've decided to speak to you candidly. Thus, I'll confess the truth. I investigated your background—the collector coveting your carving was suspicious. So I suspected your father was Cao Cao's spy."
Chen Soyoung made a baffled face and wailed.
"What? Do I have child dementia or something, Teacher? I don't get it. Cao Cao's spy? My dad? What's the world coming to? Cao Cao's spy? Ha. My dad? He loves gambling? Loves booze? Doesn't work? Just a total bum, I tell you?"
"Is that so?"
"Yes. And he's a bit clueless with people? Too kind, always getting taken advantage of? Goes berserk if anyone messes with me? Drinks and cries my name every night? That... even if he's a fool, my one and only ally in this world... that person..."
Chen Soyoung's words trailed off as she hung her head. Teardrops reflected in her cheekbones glimmered in the lamplight.
"Is your father such a man?"
"Yes. So please drop it. He's lowly and unlearned, but not bad. Let me bear all the blame."
Looking to the heavens at Chen Soyoung's words,
'The Western Seven Stars align with the moon, a formation to drive away ghosts.'
Heaven's will urged it, so with his white feather fan half-covering his face, he pressed for an answer.
"Is there no lie in your words? Speak the truth. Is your father innocent?"
"My father has no sin. Cao Cao's spy? What crime is there in living kindly?"
"Look me straight in the eye. No lies?"
"Yes. How did 'Cao Cao's spy' even come up? My father has no sin!!"
Her gaze didn't waver, her breathing steady, her body unshaking.
This mirrored how she presented her thoughts to Master Sima Hui—surely the truth.
That was enough. That settled it.
"Your words ring true. Your father is innocent. Since you confessed truthfully to me, I'll do the same. Your father's innocence clears you of sin too."
"...My sin?"
"Didn't your father join the Yellow Turbans? And you knew it."
Chen Soyoung's face drained white. Unable to meet his eyes, she trembled pitifully.
"I know there's no lie in your words, so I promise not to suspect your father anymore. Don't suffer over it. Your father has no sin."
"Sniff... hic..."
Overwhelmed, Chen Soyoung wept for a long while. Deeply moved that her father's sins were atoned.
Jin clenched his fist in agreement with the private talk, then handed Chen Soyoung a handkerchief.
"Soyoung. You've borne your father's sins all this time—how much you've suffered."
"Borne... together?"
"It's over now. We've bared our hearts today—we're in the same boat."
Chen Soyoung wept even longer.