Chen Soyoung's Modern Human Omnipotence Theory - 2: The Universal Human Rights Pessimist
Yongzhong residence.
"Soyoung. What the hell have you done?"
I'd barely seen Zhuge Jin lately, but the moment he spots me, he comes at me guns blazing.
He must really like me or something.
"What's up?"
"Well... there is something."
"I see."
"Wanna sit first?"
I sat. It was clearly something annoying.
They say good and bad things come all at once, and this looked straight-up bad.
"You know those carvings you made?"
"What about 'em? Want me to whittle you one?"
"It's gotten a bit complicated."
I see.
What could be so complicated? It's not like I'm taking commissions.
"You know your carvings are being used as ritual tools?"
"Couldn't care less how they're used. Survival was priority one."
"Then do you know they're ending up in Xu Chang?"
Who cares. I was about to call him out for being nosy but skipped the bickering.
"Must be trendy there."
"Trendy, yeah. The Emperor loves 'em. He's been asking around about the maker. Word's probably reached Cao Cao's ears too."
?????
"Huh?"
"They've covered for you at that teahouse you frequent, but you should keep it quiet anyway. Just old-man worry—nobody's gonna think you made them. Even if they do, they'll figure you were just the errand girl."
"What happens if they pin it on me? This isn't dangerous, right?"
"It could be."
Zhuge Jin said it oh-so-calmly, but why was my stomach twisting?
Why am I jumping to worst-case scenarios, filming a whole human drama in my head?
"How could it be dangerous? Give me an example."
"They might peg you as a spy sent by the Emperor to seize power or something."
"That's a leap."
"Sure is. But better safe than sorry, right? The Emperor's under house arrest—common knowledge. I was just in Xu Chang. Rumors are flying."
"Sounds no different from Jingzhou."
Zhuge Jin spilled it without me even prodding.
"Word is, the Emperor's using imperial rituals as cover to send secret messages out. People are dissecting hawk carvings—splitting the feathers, piecing the bones—and finding hidden meanings."
"What's 'splitting characters'?"
"Breaking down letters. They split Tian () and get Yi Da ()—'one great man.' That's the interpretation going around."
A code?
Makes sense historically.
Even under confinement, Emperor Xian tried everything—secret messages in clothes—to communicate with his ministers.
Even so... the rumors were way overblown.
"That's ridiculous. The Emperor might just want to perform a ritual. Everyone's reading too much into it."
Not my circus, not my monkeys anyway. Whatever rumors flew there, I turned on my heel.
Lots on my plate today—mountains to think about.
"Hey!"
Clueless Zhuge Jin grabbed me as I turned.
"Wait. That hawk carving—was that you too?"
His lack of tact made my lip pout, but I reined it in.
"If it was me, it'd have features. Like I said, I drew the Heavenly Sovereign on the back? But honestly, no deep thoughts—just carved it hoping it'd fly free in the sky."
Zhuge Jin ran a hand over his face.
"So the rumors are true."
The guy looked seriously worried.
I got it. I worried too about the risks of this absurd gossip.
But to me, it looked different.
"Think about it the other way. Isn't Cao Cao more likely to be keeping the Emperor locked down extra tight? Just looking for an excuse."
"Are you a genius?"
He's slowly building up to make Cao Cao Emperor instead of Prime Minister.
*
I mulled it over.
Even Lady Cai pulled strings behind her son's back like a regent. Why couldn't I wield some influence?
I had cards to play, but late Han rules cramped my style.
No official authority to step forward physically or publicly. Best move: roll the snowball toward the future.
Aim for high social status—but impossible as a woman.
Find alternatives. Insight from bantering with Ma Su.
Advise those with high status. That's doable. My path leads there.
Problem: swaying hearts is a hundred times harder than starting trouble myself.
For that, they need to see me as an equal.
As Huang Yueying said, I must hone myself.
As Master Gongming warned, resting on birthright means this late Han world devours me.
I thought all night. My mind map included my beloved father.
Conclusion reached.
Acquire minimum dignity.
Secure self-defense and some economic base—better than nothing.
Make myself... valuable.
I had a few cards now.
Pulled one.
Develop Soyang, build my career.
Lay my support base.
I resolved to push Father—the on-site manager in Soyang—as my foundation, steadily building influence.
Dad's generous; he'll indulge my whims.
Preliminary step: normalize Soyang.
Even if Cao Cao snatches it, no biggie.
It's barren land.
"We've arrived, young miss!"
I headed to the granary office.
To enact my plans bit by bit, more civil officials the better.
"Thanks. You worked hard today too."
At the granary office, I was different from usual.
A bit tense.
Big gulp, smaller steps.
Cracked the central office door halfway, made my pitch.
"Any... anyone wanna hear a fun story with me?!"
Asking for help takes guts, I realized.
Awkward words around people? Mortifying. Brain scrambled on what to say.
"Let's go."
Four guys echoed Shi Dao, showing interest.
Nice. Nailed my granary office networking.
They joined me willingly.
Same old crew.
Shi Dao, Choi Ju-pyeong, Meng Jian, Ma Su.
I beckoned separately; we four plus me slipped into a private room.
Pulled chairs, sat at the table—they followed suit in a row.
Meng Jian right next to me.
"Can't sleep tonight, huh?"
"Uncle Meng Jian. I'm embarrassed right now, and there are plenty of chairs—mind sitting farther?"
"...Ahem."
I kicked off with gossip on Master Gongming, then opened on Soyang operations.
Stressed the dire straits, how I couldn't fix it alone.
"The situation there's insane, okay? Can't you help? Ma Su, you're in no matter what... uh. You four—this'd make you owe me. My favors ain't cheap. Buy now."
Issued IOUs. If Master Gongming flings 'em, so can I.
Shi Dao nibbled, flicking his index finger.
"True, Gongming doesn't start pointless ventures. He planned this with all in mind."
"No backing out? Then speak. Young miss, you're scheming to develop that hellhole?"
?????
"Why's Master Gongming in this?"
"Ahem..."
The suddenly solemn vibe felt weirder.
Choi Ju-pyeong cut through the awkwardness with facts.
"Ain't just one such shithole village. Even the throne's given up on 'em."
"Right, right. Total chicken ribs."
Choi Ju-pyeong chuckled at "chicken ribs."
"Kid's got wit. Spot-on expression. Shall we devour it?"
"You'll devour it?"
"Sounds fun. Count me in. No loss for me—why not?"
Score—one down.
"Ma Su, you dodging me lately? Didn't we make up?"
"Learned that juniors stay quiet while elders speak—that's etiquette."
What to do?
Ma Su was playing it too smooth. Goosebumps.
"What's with you?"
"My talents meager, vessel small—how could I not be humble?"
????
"You sick or something?"
"Watching you taught me: even beasts deserve courtesy. How can you embrace those who've forsaken humanity?"
"Ah. He's fine."
Phew. Thought he was ill.
I patted Ma Su down once, eyed the other two.
"You two in too, right?"
"Been itching for it. I'll owe the young miss."
"Governing ain't easy. Betting on you—double payback later."
Seemed settled.
Uncle Zhao Yun just listened silently—he was already aboard.
"Then Uncle Zhao Yun, pretty please: assign folks to head to Soyang starting tomorrow?"
"I'll have my aides handle it."
A corner of my heart eased.
Tasks piled high, but chipping away would bring better days.
"So how'll you govern it? I wanna hear your intent before judging."
Uncle Shi Dao thinks deep.
I had my thoughts too, hence the pitch.
"Well, I know the lay of the land there. Plan's to set up a free-market system upholding liberal democracy—guide 'em to self-reliance."
All stared, faces screaming confusion.
"They got zilch. I'll give 'em minimal property, drill in defense of it. You'll see."
Chen Soyoung.
Cool version: raise an army in Soyang.
With my five generals under command.