Zhuge Liang’s Demon Cave - 2
“Kyaaah!!!”
The scream burst from the little girl’s lips all on its own.
“Oh dear, did that hurt?”
“No, I… seriously…”
Huang Yueying had terrible habits with her hands. Turns out, the moment I got distracted, she started kneading away like the sneaky woman she was.
“Why are you doing this for real?!”
“You can’t wear hand-me-downs forever, you know? I get that you’re shy, Soyoung, but if you won’t cooperate, I have no choice but to do it this way. I’d really appreciate it if you understood that.”
“Understood my ass! I can’t live like this. Why are you making my life hell?!”
“Can’t you just close your eyes for one second and let me take your measurements? We’re short on clothes as it is—wouldn’t it be better for both of us if we did this the nice way?”
“You’ve got over twenty already!!!!”
Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet—a whole rainbow of flimsy, delicate silk threads, ten pieces; plus ten everyday outfits.
Look behind you, Lady Huang Yueying. The clothes are piled up right there.
…But is it okay to wear red out and about? Wait, is that a thing in late Han? Ah, whatever.
“Soyoung, that’s unfilial. Your mother loves you so deeply and sincerely that I have no choice but to do this. I wish you could understand my feelings.”
“Let go!!! I said let go!!!”
Whoa. Her grip was insanely strong.
The moment Huang Yueying folded my waist in half, my will to resist folded right along with it.
“Listen well. The people at the Ministry of Agriculture will look down on you and scorn you. Even once they realize how exceptional you are, most will just envy and resent you. A woman must always harbor a spirit stronger than any man’s. If you don’t want your heart to blacken and wither away, obey me quietly.”
That’s what Huang Yueying was really saying.
Heavy misogyny, huh.
I got the era’s vibe, sure.
“So… how exactly does stripping me and taking measurements—uhuhu—help with any of that?”
Huang Yueying flashed a confident smile as she undid the sash at my chest.
“I’m dressing you in armor made just for you. Isn’t that obvious, Soyoung? If a woman hones her own unique weapons, even those who hate her will come to fear her. And you… you’ve got the talent.”
?????
“My eyes never lie. You don’t have to do a thing. Just gaze down imperiously like a moonflower blooming under the moonlight. This is Huang Yueying speaking—engrave it in your heart.”
“Um… is this what I think it is?”
“Oh my, what are you saying? I’m just teaching my precious daughter how to navigate the storms she’ll face.”
“Uhuhu?”
“Ahem, maybe that’s too advanced for our little Soyoung! Then again, scum like that wouldn’t die easy anyway. I guess I jumped the gun!”
Anyway, she was definitely a wicked one.
“Even if you say that, I’ll handle myself just fine, so don’t worry. But seriously, is pinching my thigh really necessary?”
“Of course it is.”
*
After what felt like an eternity, I finally stepped outside and got a rough sense of how this place operated.
Temporarily dubbed Zhuge Liang’s Demon Cave.
It was occupied by a family of con artists, and the boss’s schemes were especially masterful.
The cave’s operating budget came mostly from donations.
One way or another, the boss had wide connections and a big name, drawing major donors who showered cash, plus a few groups hoping for a slice of that savvy in return, firing off fat stacks of gold.
The boss was a pro at scattering hot air checks. Her performance was so slick, folks would find themselves donating before they knew it, tongues wagging in awe.
This meticulously planned Ponzi scheme had ballooned thanks to viral promoters like Lord Pang Deok, and the cave’s owner lived lavishly—complete with a Marlboro Lamborghini and a personal attendant.
Then this unlikely villainess made a sudden move: a flyer circulated reading, “A Fine Send-Off for the Masses: Lady Zhuge of Nanyang Declares Support.” The markets went wild.
No clue who “Lady Zhuge of Nanyang” was, but the Jingzhou stocks tanked hard from the ripple, and somehow the cave boss scored a windfall.
The cave’s number two, Lady Huang, was humming as she mended silk, her conduct every bit as nefarious.
The Silk Road existed even in late Han, so this otherworldly fabric from halfway across the globe was priceless.
How many thousands of poor souls’ lives could one bolt of that silk save?!
Chengdu silk was real-deal physical Bitcoin… nah, more like Ethereum-level pricey.
Whatever. The number two ruthlessly shredded the silk, dooming the commoners to starve.
Ahh, such tragedy.
“My lady, is your project coming along well?”
Oh crap. I’d caught the demon cave crew mid-conspiracy.
“Structuring it for mass production is trickier than I thought… I know it in my head, but development’s slower than expected.”
“As long as it doesn’t wear you out. I came because I was curious about your hobby—if it makes you happy, keep at it. So… what is this thing?”
“With army rations getting heavier to haul, I’ve designed a one-wheeled cart that can handle rough mountains.”
“A one-wheeler would definitely cut down on getting stuck in mud or snagged on rocks… but can you actually make it work?”
“It’s just a concept for now. Ho ho.”
Something big was brewing in the demon cave. Number two Lady Huang was diving into the auto industry!
Instead of blowing the scam profits on luxury, she was reinvesting for even bigger extravagance.
The R&D team seemed to be just Professor Huang solo. Definitely a secret project.
Commoners couldn’t own Marlboro Lambos, so mass-producing affordable cars for the masses? Blue ocean market disruptor.
Sure, there were low-end ox carts, but those were communal village vehicles—scaling them was near impossible.
“Brother, here you are.”
Enter Zhuge Liang’s Demon Cave action captain, Lord Zhuge.
All three bigwigs together? Rare. What the hell was going down in this cave?
“Back already? What did the master say?”
“He was thrilled. Even suggested you drop by sometime.”
“Is that so? I haven’t shown my face lately, so I should make time.”
Action Captain Zhuge was clearly the fixer, bridging to other outfits. Young and fearless, no hesitation—that’s why the boss trusted him with the dirty work.
“Anyway… that’s settled. What about the other matter?”
“Handled. Bribed the thugs to grill the boss—saw it with their own eyes, so it checks out.”
“Ha! I had my doubts, but really? At that age? I’d love to see it myself.”
Lady Huang reined in the boss.
“I understand your hopes, my lord, but that talent can’t be forced by nagging.”
“If you say so, it must be true. You probably know better than I do.”
“You flatter me. But conjuring what doesn’t exist is beyond even me. That skill’s reached the pinnacle of reason—master-level. I half-doubted it myself, but our thoughts align, so you must make time…”
Their whispers were fading. What came next?
Anyway, terrifying. Action Captain Zhuge had definitely mobilized muscle to intimidate someone.
The invisible hand suppressing rivals and flexing power? Yeah.
“Brother, also…”
The trio huddled, scheming sinisterly.
“Is that right? My orders are fully carried out?”
“Yes. No loose ends.”
Seeing those two kiss up so desperately? They were plotting something heaven-defyingly evil.
“How long have you been there?”
Gah! Locked eyes with the demon.
To expose this criminal syndicate, I’d have to cross a dangerous bridge.
Armed with humanitarian zeal, I retooled my persona to smite evil.
Crossed myself over my heart and faced the demon.
“What’s with all the whispering?”
“Nothing much. You’re heading to the Ministry once you’re ready—any worries or discomforts?”
“Nope.”
“Really? No lies now.”
This was a setup. Like a go stone laid in advance for the next move.
Here, a trap for a bigger scolding later.
Zhuge Liang’s setups were packed with vibes like “Don’t lie,” “Really?,” “Sure about that?”—all screaming “You confessed your sins!”
Now deploying a double-layered pincer. Time to tense up.
“Why are you just staring?”
I’d fallen for that strategy before and paid dearly.
The demon’s terrifying power: handing me pocket pairs then slow-playing top pair to lure me in. A mental poker realm incarnate.
How do you die holding pocket aces?!
“Sniff… hic…”
“...?”
Good. The demon’s rattled.
I didn’t think every matchup with Zhuge Liang ended in my loss. I’d grown from defeat—no third time.
Recalling Huang Yueying’s advice, I opened my mouth.
“This girl is most worried, my lord. Sniff… hic… How could I possibly handle such a thing?”
Huang Yueying rushed over, beaming with satisfaction.
“How can your heart be so tender! Don’t worry, Soyoung! You’re clever—you’ll do great!”
Zhuge Liang looked pitying.
In poker, folding well is winning.
I revised my policy: if Zhuge Liang tried to bet, I’d fold every time.
The “No, don’t, please stop” strategy.
“She’s not even ten yet—how can you be so harsh, my lord?!”
“N-no, my lady! I wasn’t harsh! You know my daughter’s temperament… Were you that upset?”
“Sniff… hic… This girl is so scared. Sob sob.”
Referee Huang Yueying ruled: Chen Soyoung wins by decision.
Zhuge Liang’s face flushed red with grievance.