Chapter 30. Is Being Natural Better?
After replying to Chae-ah's message, I continued parking the car.
Mom's birthday. Dad's birthday.
It felt strangely unfamiliar, even though it had been three years since they'd moved into this single-family home—a place I visited only two or three times a year.
"You're here?"
"Yeah, Dad. How've you been?"
"Good, good. Come on in."
Dad came out first when he heard the car pull in, greeting me warmly.
"You dressed up nice today."
"If I came casually, Mom would get mad."
"It suits you."
"Really? It's not too much?"
"If it's too much, your mom will love it even more."
Dad gave my outfit the same positive review as Chae-ah had.
It had been so long since I'd dressed up like this that even standing in front of the mirror earlier, I couldn't get used to it.
"Honey, Yui's here."
"My girl, it's been a while!"
"How've you been?"
"Oh my! You look so put-together, Yui!"
Mom came out to the entryway and seemed pretty satisfied with my appearance.
If today's star was pleased, I could endure any discomfort or unfamiliarity.
"That's my daughter. You're really doing that face justice."
"You've always said that. That I should make the most of my looks."
"Exactly. You look good like this because you're naturally pretty."
"Must be because I take after you, Mom."
"Not after Dad?"
"Uh... I got my height from him, so let's call it even?"
As we chatted and moved toward the kitchen, a rich, mouthwatering aroma grew stronger, tempting me to drool.
Soon, Mom's birthday spread—perfectly matching the scent—greeted me.
It was filled with dishes showcasing Dad's professional pride: aglio e olio, lobster butter-grilled, Camembert cheese salad, and more.
"Dad, you really went all out."
"It's your mom's birthday. Go change and come eat."
"Got it."
Dad currently worked as the owner-chef at a Western restaurant.
That's why such a lavish birthday feast welcomed me.
"It's been a while."
Back in my room changing, I kept glancing at my phone screen.
It was lunchtime now, so I figured that's when Chae-ah would message.
"No word yet. Is she doing okay?"
The lack of contact made me more anxious, somehow.
Knowing Chae-ah, she'd be bragging about her morning work and fishing for praise.
"She'll handle it fine on her own."
I was a little worried, but I trusted her skills and believed she was managing well.
"Mom, if I'm just gonna change the second I get home, why make me dress up?"
"It's nice knowing someone dressed up for my birthday."
"And that someone's just me."
"That's why it's the best. Come eat."
We sat at the table and started the meal. As always, I was busy praising Dad's irresistible flavors that kept my hands moving nonstop.
Then, a question that threw me off hit my ears.
"Yui, how's work at the company?"
It was about my "office job."
"Oh, yeah. It's going well. No issues."
"Can't believe it's been eight years already since you started there. Time flies."
"Yeah, it does."
It wasn't shame about running the adult toy store that kept me from mentioning it.
I only came home for parents' birthdays and Lunar New Year's—three times a year, total.
Those were special occasions, so dropping sudden news like that felt awkward.
Before I knew it, three years had passed.
"Shouldn't I visit your place sometime, like your aunt does?"
"Auntie's close to my apartment, but you'd have a hard time getting there, Mom. It's too far."
And hiding my toy collection would be a hassle.
-Bzzz! Bzzz!
In the middle of eating, a message from Chae-ah came in.
Just as I'd expected: a rundown of her morning accomplishments, straight-up demanding praise.
"Pfft."
"Who's texting that made you laugh like that?"
"Oh, this new employee I hired recently. She does great work but loves getting praised by me."
"Your girlfriend?"
"Pbbt! *Cough*... *Cough cough*...!"
Mom's sudden question made me snort the water I'd been sipping out my nose.
"Honey, don't spring it on her like that."
"Why not? I can ask. Her face when she read the text looked suspicious."
"It's not like that. You know I'm not dating anymore."
"Just checking. But you seem to like her a lot for it to just be boss and employee."
A lot.
That phrase lingered in my head for a long time.
Just seeing Chae-ah's texts vividly conjured what cute antics and voices she'd make.
It was enough to make me smile.
Mom was right—if it was just a boss-employee thing, my reaction was over the top. It made me reflect on my feelings for Chae-ah.
"It's not like that."
"Too bad. I was hoping you'd bring home a pretty girlfriend."
"Anyway, happy birthday, Mom."
"Thanks, sweetie."
"Check your phone."
"Huh? Oh my, this is too much!"
Five years ago, I'd realized something.
I didn't need to agonize over birthday gifts for my parents.
Since I didn't know their tastes perfectly, giving cash for them to buy what they wanted was the ultimate present.
And they loved that kind of gift.
"Need more if it's not enough?"
"No, this is plenty. Thank you so much."
They were happy with the amount I'd sent—arbitrarily decided, but fitting. I sighed inwardly in relief.
Anything more would've thinned my wallet too much, so I hoped they'd be satisfied here.
Politely asking was just courtesy, and luckily, they were.
"Thanks for the meal."
"Yui, go rest in your room."
"Yeah, let's go shopping later."
"Sure."
I went to my room, lay on the bed, and replied to Chae-ah's messages.
Lying in this comfy bed on a weekday, texting Chae-ah—it all felt so surreal.
Probably because it was the first time I'd left the store running without me.
"Pfft..."
Chae-ah's message brought a small laugh as I started typing a reply—but then I noticed what I'd absentmindedly entered.
[Yeah. I miss you t]
A second later, and I'd have hit send.
"This is driving me crazy."
I deleted it and sent something else instead.
The wall between us seemed to fade more with time.
It was such a natural shift I barely noticed—until suddenly I realized I was giving Chae-ah way too much leeway.
I kept reminding myself: stringing her along like this without accepting a confession was no different from playing the field. I couldn't do it.
But time passed, and before I knew it, I was doing it again.
"Yui, rested enough? Let's go shopping."
"Yeah, Mom."
Mid-thought spiral, I got dressed at Mom's call.
"I'll buy you some clothes."
"No need. Today's your day."
"That's why I get to do what I want. Honey, we're heading out."
"Have fun, Dad."
"Yeah, enjoy yourselves."
Mom rode shotgun as we headed to the department store. First up: helping her pick outfits with the money I'd given her.
"How's this?"
"Hm, something a bit brighter might be better."
"This one?"
"Yeah, that's nice."
We wandered the store like that, picking out a few pieces that suited her.
"Yui, about that employee of yours."
"Not my girlfriend."
"That's not what I meant."
"Then what?"
"You're trying hard to keep your distance, right?"
Mom had noticed from that brief moment when I'd smiled at my phone.
It was amazing she'd picked up on how I handled Chae-ah from just that.
"How'd you know?"
"Because you're my daughter."
"You still know me so well, even though I don't visit much."
"That's what parents do."
"Yeah. I'm trying, but it's not easy."
I didn't go deep into Chae-ah details, but gave a rough outline of the situation.
Maybe I'd get some solution out of it.
"If you keep enforcing that distance, won't it make her uncomfortable?"
"Really? I thought keeping it that way would make her less uncomfortable."
"How would you feel if someone you work with kept deliberately maintaining distance?"
The key was "deliberately."
Not naturally distant, but visibly efforting to keep space—that wouldn't feel good.
"Not great."
"Right? That's worlds apart from it happening naturally versus forcing it. You're doing the latter."
"Yeah."
"I think that makes things awkward."
"So, acting naturally would be better?"
"Yeah, I think so."
Acting naturally was a tough choice.
It meant giving even more leeway than now—and rejecting Chae-ah's confession anyway would make me seem selfish.
"Oh, this would look great on my daughter."
"I told you, it's fine."
"Nope, not for me. This one... this one too, and... yeah, sunglasses to match."
As the child of a former fashion designer, I was used to Mom earnestly picking clothes for me at department stores.
I tried on what she'd chosen and stood before the mirror.
As always, it suited me perfectly.
"Looks great!"
"Yeah, it does. Thanks, Mom."
"Wear it out, right?"
"That's the plan."
Mom had the staff remove the tags from the clothes and sunglasses, then headed to checkout.
Meanwhile, I lingered in front of the mirror, scanning my outfit for a while.
"Naturally..."
Mulling Mom's words, I pulled out my phone and snapped a photo.
I sent it to Chae-ah.
Just those short words with it.