Adjusting After the Return (5)
"...The shoulder. Yes. Just the shoulder."
Once I forced myself to calm down, the heat that had just barely begun to surge through me dulled a little.
Right. Get a grip. It’s nothing.
It was exactly the same as when Kang Juhyuk and I had traveled alone inside the Gate.
Even then my body had been heating up, but I hadn’t lost my head this badly.
At least I could handle it for a day or so back then.
Because I’d had sex. Because I knew what that sensation was.
That sense of fulfillment as my body warmed and filled, making me sensitive and expectant—nothing more than that.
With my permission, Shin Jaecheol laid a hand on my shoulder, his touch more cautious than before.
Very lightly.
Ah.
I flinched back anyway.
Just because a man had touched me. Because even through the hoodie, I could feel the roughness of his hand.
Heat rose, and that sensation drilled through my skin and sank toward my lower abdomen.
It was like my cunt was receiving the signal, not my brain.
Crackle—mana coursed through me like electricity and swept over my body.
And yet, despite the signal reading far more sensitive places than a simple touch, I felt no emotion from that mana at all.
More precisely, my body—my instincts—didn’t react. It meant I wasn’t interested.
"...A formidable power."
"What?"
"No, no. I had heard of it, but to think it was this strong. Even among S-class hunters, it is exceptional."
Yeah. If you understand, then be careful.
I’m not someone you can do whatever you want with.
I’m not a woman you can rush at and rape just because you feel like it.
Be wary. Be afraid. Even if you have no such intentions.
I growled inwardly to protect myself.
How pathetic.
How was this any different from a little dog barking at humans because it was scared?
It knew it was weak, and still it wouldn’t change its attitude.
"At first, I thought it might be something like a succubus’s curse."
"...I’m not a woman."
"I know that, but I couldn’t help being wary of that beauty. The moment I saw you, I erected a mental barrier to suppress my lust and spread a mana sensor as well, yet there was no reaction. It seems my assumption was mistaken."
The succubus’s curse.
The mark carved into the body.
A curse that made its victim more beautiful—yet transformed them into a being that preyed upon another’s lust.
There had been many survivors rescued from beyond the Gate with those marks on them, and for a time it had become a major social issue.
But that kind of curse never gave the victim a moment of rest.
There was no point where they suddenly “came to their senses.”
It literally just meant nonstop sex.
A curse that took mana from the partner through intercourse and transmitted it back to the curse’s master.
It also scattered seductive mana around the surroundings, casting fascination over others.
It was such a dangerous, powerful curse that only those with very poor resistance were truly affected by it.
Even B-class hunters could fend it off with their own resistance.
Besides, the mark might make someone “beautiful,” but it didn’t change their sex.
From the beginning, there had been no way such a mark could be carved onto an S-class hunter like me. And even if it had, I would have remained male.
That being was not some lowly creature like a succubus.
It wasn’t something that carved a mark simply to feed on others.
It only wanted offspring. That was why it created offspring. This was an entirely different matter.
"However, the body I scanned was not changed through mana. This is... quite literally akin to metamorphosis. It would be impossible to dispel it with magic or a curse and return you to your original form."
In other words, it was permanent.
If it had been a magical alteration or a change brought on by a curse, there would be traces of mana, and it could be reverted to its original shape.
But this had no such traces—instead, it meant the genes themselves had changed, just like an insect’s growth into a different stage.
So that method was blocked.
Still, there was one thing to be relieved about: unlike a mark of lust, this didn’t seem to radiate any power that lured people in.
Of course, just this face alone could probably make every straight man in the world go stiff.
But at least it wasn’t the kind of thing that provoked rape all by itself.
Thinking of that made Kang Juhyuk seem even more like a piece of trash. What a fucking lunatic.
No matter how openly I’d been exposing my cunt and touching myself, he’d still gone ahead and pounced?
...Anyway, what a fucking lunatic.
Still, this wasn’t over.
I still had more methods in mind.
Forcing down the last scraps of unease, I brought out the next one.
"So you’re saying I can’t just break the curse and go back to my original form, because this isn’t actually a curse. Fine. I figured as much."
"Mm. Regrettable."
"Then cast a transformation spell on me. I just need to be male. Ah! If we’re at it, maybe make me a little better-looking too?"
"Transformation magic is not permanent. I could cast a spell to turn you into a man, but keeping it going would not be free."
Ah.
So the old man was a merchant.
Of course he wouldn’t do that.
No matter how much money I had, I couldn’t just buy a mage’s permanent service, paying for him to stay by my side indefinitely and maintain the spell.
"Then make a mark on me. You know, like that. I’ve seen hunters with tattoos on their bodies—spells carved and maintained with their own mana. A scroll? A grimoire?"
"That would be magic wielded through one’s own mana, and the efficiency would be abysmal. It would consume two or three times the mana of a professional mage using the same spell."
"I don’t care about that. You scanned my body, didn’t you? Does it look like I’m short on mana?"
"...I suppose not. There seems to be no end to it. Still, before creating a mark, I shall attempt to alter you first. After that, I’ll design the mark accordingly, so take it to a workshop and have it engraved on your body—or made into a scroll."
"Yeah, sure. Sounds good."
Getting a tattoo was out of the question.
Nothing as trivial as a knife was going into my body.
But if I had a magic scroll made and carried it with me, then I could live as a man.
Besides, mana wasn’t something I lacked. Quite the opposite—I had mana spilling out everywhere. It was that endless, nearly infinite mana that made me immortal in the first place.
In fact, I might even be able to keep it up permanently. So what if I only turned back into a woman when I slept? I just wouldn’t sleep.
Thinking that way, the hand Shin Jaecheol had placed on my shoulder suddenly felt almost affectionate.
Touch me more, more! Turn me back to my original body... no, wait—if we’re at it, make me a better-looking man!
Once I became a man, I’d be freed from this fucking womb, this cunt. Maybe my instincts would calm down a bit, too.
Or maybe he could tell me to take a woman instead? If so, I could live with that. As long as I used contraception properly, it’d be fine.
If I ran out of condoms, I’d tell him to take the morning-after pill.
Already, I was thinking about going out and playing around as a man.
Let’s go catch some women. Ride out on a motorbike and head to a club.
Throw some woman who wants a burning, reckless night onto a bed, and have real sex—not that amateur bullshit Kang Juhyuk had given me.
Car, money, body, the prestige of being an S-class hunter. The women who liked one-night stands would want to try it at least once.
Who wouldn’t want to be fucked for twelve straight hours at least once? I could do that.
As long as I could somehow bury the memory of that ejaculation inside me, it wouldn’t matter.
I’d fuck until I forgot. If I kept at it, I’d forget. I would!
With that thought, I waited.
I waited while forcing myself to think as positively as possible.
I waited.
I waited.
—And then.
Shin Jaecheol’s face, while he kept his hand on my body and poured out mana, began to break into a heavy sweat.
It felt as if he were endlessly feeding mana into me.
His mana jabbed at my body.
Like a cup of water splashed into an ocean.
Yet it made no difference at all to that ocean.
A tiny child running straight at a giant.
No matter how hard he charged, he was only thrown back.
That went on for several minutes.
Shin Jaecheol tried a few more times to force his mana into my body.
But like an immune response killing germs, the mana within me blocked it.
A sense of foreboding pressed down on me.
No... it doesn’t work? No, but still.
He said he was a mage on par with an S-class, didn’t he?
It must be something different. This is just part of the process, right?
I refused to lose hope and kept waiting.
But that hope was extinguished before long.
"...What is this?"
"Um. When exactly is this transformation supposed to happen?"
"...Impossible. Your body... that physique, it does not change. Absolutely not."
"No, you said you were going to try. You said you’d make a mark."
"I’m sorry. I never expected the resistance to be this strong. More precisely, I never expected it to be this exclusive."
So my feeling had been right all along?
My Blessing was blocking the intrusion of mana.
A shield that protected everything from external attack.
That shield was identifying outside magic as an enemy and shutting it out.
Like an autoimmune disease, even though I wanted it, my Blessing rejected it.
"Your immortality is blocking the intrusion of my mana. No matter how I try to get in, it is like pouring a cup of water into the ocean. Do I look like I’m trying to make a fool of you?"
I’m asking because it sure fucking looked that way, asshole.
What, are you kidding me right now? You’re supposedly the best mage in Korea outside the Association, and you can’t even cast a simple transformation spell on me? You can’t even turn me into a man?
I have to keep using this body? Forever?
...A bead of sweat ran down my back.
Reality slapped me in the face.
My mind, which had forced itself to stay optimistic, was dragged back into reality in an instant.
"I tried to force it, but the resistance is far too strong. Literally, too strong. This is no longer in the realm of living beings. It feels like the sun maintaining itself, like a planet simply remaining where it is. To transform you would be like carving the moon out of the sky and turning it into a star."
"Th-then what about something else? No, anything. There has to be something, right!?"
"Including all such things, it would still fall under transformation, under change. No single living thing can take hold of a planet and bend it to its will."
Fuck.
Don’t explain that you can’t do it in such a roundabout way.
Just say you can’t, asshole!
Useless piece of shit.
My evaluation of Shin Jaecheol kept falling further and further inside me.
Why the hell was the Association recommending some bastard like this?
But I also knew the truth.
Shin Jaecheol was a brilliant mage. The Association wasn’t stupid. It didn’t trust people without reason.
This only meant that no mage at all could pierce my Blessing.
No mage would ever be able to transform me.
"...Fuck."
Despairing.
Even change was impossible.
Every one of the few methods I had was being shattered.
And now the only thing left was...
That ridiculous method of entering the void and meeting that thing—nothing but that?
"If that body was the price of such power... then thanks to it, haven’t you risen to the peak as an S-class hunter? It’s unfortunate, but wouldn’t it be better to adapt and accept it?"
"Adapt? Fuck you. Are you done?"
Adapt to what?
To becoming some sex-crazed bitch?
That memory of Kang Juhyuk ejaculating inside me was still flashing through my head.
It kept coming back.
No matter what I did, about twenty percent of my thoughts turned to sex.
The bliss of climax, the pleasure, the happiness, the ecstasy—all of it kept slamming into my skull.
If I adapted to something like this, I’d become a baby factory in no time.
Not some ordinary child, but that insane alien organism endlessly expanding the number of “that thing’s” daughters.
How was that any different from dying? Chae Eunho would be completely gone, and only Chae Eunha would remain.
What a fucking easy thing to say.
Why don’t you go try it yourself?
Fuck.
Useless bastard.
I snapped out the curse and got to my feet.
I didn’t want to spend even one more second in the same place as this fucking bastard.
At least he had the decency not to ask for payment.
I stormed straight out of the house, got into my car, and drove back home.
I wanted a drink. I wanted to get drunk. I wanted to lose my head.
The whiskey, the wine, whatever else I had stacked up at home—
I was going to empty all of it tonight and shove it down my throat.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck!