Lily (2)
Lily (2)
"Ha..."
Honestly. I don't care what Stachys wears.
As long as I can meet Stachys, nothing else matters.
But his attitude of coming out in casually thrown-on clothes makes me sad.
When he comes out wearing clothes that are all frayed and yellowed like that,
it gives me the feeling that I'm not a very important person to him.
Are we really just that kind of relationship?
I would like him to anticipate meeting me just like I do,
and worry all night long the day before our meeting about what to wear, putting in that effort for me.
I know. I know this is just my own greed, but can't I be a little unreasonable and ask him to wear something just a bit prettier?
Still, since I saw him, I let out a sigh while calming my thumping heart.
Anyway, back then... I made a huge mistake.
I had no idea Stachys's scent would smell that good.
He said he smelled bad, but to me, it was no different from a drug.
I had learned from books that you even start to love the body odor of someone you like, but to think it would be to this extent...
The price of curiosity was high.
I out of my mind inhaled his scent and hugged him.
No, I almost didn't even realize that I was hugging him.
His body odor was so intense that the monumental event of hugging Stachys became like nothing.
It would be great if that scent belonged entirely to me.
It's a pity that the treaty says I can't do that.
Already right now... I missed that scent. Once I finished playing today and went back, I felt like I needed to figure out if there was a way to turn that scent into a perfume. Or secretly come to his room and steal his clothes.
But seriously, just now was dangerous.
Really, really dangerous.
Stachys saw that and... said he thought I... I... was a pervert!!
Leaving even drool shamefully behind..!
Ha, seriously, why on earth did I lose my reason...!
While waiting for Stachys to change clothes, Lily stamped her feet frantically in her mind.
She screamed kyaak kyaak inside her head.
Even though she was pretending to be fine on the outside, reality was a mess.
Once the impression of how ecstatic it was passed, she felt terribly embarrassed and regretful again, yet felt like if she hadn't experienced this, she would be losing half her life...
Amidst the complicated moments, her own cold voice tells her. Just one thing is certain.
If things keep going like this, Stachys will notice my feelings too.
When her thoughts reached that point, she suddenly felt the blood drain entirely from her face.
Right... I almost got caught. That I'm not looking at him just like a family-like younger sibling.
Pretending to treat him like family, she had narrowed the distance with Stachys.
Since they couldn't become lovers because of the Stachys Treaty, she had taken the family route as her second best option.
Because family is further than the distance of lovers, but closer than friends.
She leaned on his goodness.
Stachys even accepted her unreasonable demand to live like family.
When you think about it, even though she kept saying we're family, we're family, she still hadn't dropped the polite speech.
She should have known how sloppy and forced an excuse it was with just a little thought.
She liked him for trusting even her unnatural appearance.
But if she lost her reason like this and showed her loving side toward him, even he would start to suspect.
He would come to know.
That what she originally wanted wasn't the distance of family.
That it was the distance of lovers.
No matter how much she drew the line. Wouldn't it be so?
Should she draw the line a bit stronger so she wouldn't get caught?
Lily was a girl. In front of Stachys, she acts like a noona and acts all laid-back, but deep inside her chest lies a fragile girl.
She couldn't let him find out that she liked him.
First, it's just way too embarrassing,
Second, there's the fear of rejection,
And third, the treaty breaks.
The reason she mustn't let her feelings be discovered wasn't solely because of the treaty.
"Ha... seriously. I shouldn't keep acting like this..."
She herself knew that she kept failing to hold back and was precariously stepping on the line of the treaty.
If she makes a mistake and breaks the treaty, a Stachys War could break out among the three women over who gets to take Stachys.
Having shown such an abnormal appearance as today, could she win the war?
She couldn't be sure.
It's a war that must never happen. As long as that war doesn't happen, she can just live like this.
Meeting twice a week for work, dating a day or two outside of that, and tasting an ecstatic event like today once every few months.
But if the war breaks out... and by any chance she loses. Skinship like this would no longer be possible.
Would the foolishly steadfast Stachys have skinship with another woman even after getting a lover?
Probably not.
Therefore, that is... a future that must not exist.
That it's not me by Stachys's side.
Absolutely no way.
That Stachys's and my future are not headed in the same direction.
That must not happen.
Not being able to touch Stachys...
I'll go crazy.
I must be with Stachys for the rest of my life.
She took a deep breath.
She needed to calm her pounding heart before Stachys came out.
It feels like it's beating way too often...
Isn't it broken?
She had to find a way somehow.
Ha. Just when was it that it broke like this?
She traced back her memories.
Several weeks had passed since Lily admitted that she liked Stachys.
Yes, she had no choice but to admit it.
Ever since that incident, everything he did only looked good to her.
Even his comical and startled reaction to bugs was cute,
when he wiped his sweat and slightly revealed his abs, her face would burn hot,
and whenever she lay down on her bed, she couldn't sleep because of thoughts of him.
No matter what he did, he didn't look hateful to her.
However, fearing and feeling embarrassed that her feelings might be discovered, it had already been several weeks since Lily hadn't talked to him.
Although she felt like her relationship with him had drifted apart a bit, she couldn't help it.
Because if she got close, her heart felt like it would pop out, and her voice would shake so much that she couldn't converse at all.
"Lily-ssi. You're here?"
It was the day to enter the dungeon again after spending five days thinking only about him.
As always, he greeted Lily.
"Ah.... ugh.."
Muttering in an ant-like voice, Lily eventually answered by nodding her head.
Even at a reaction that might look a bit blunt, he didn't mind and greeted the other party members, the saintess Vien and the knight Rus, before starting the briefing.
"Today our party's objective is a wolf pack investigation mission. I was thinking we could take on dungeon quests now, but I saw one mission that looked a bit serious, so I temporarily postponed the dungeon quests and chose a quest to help a nearby village. Is that alright?"
"Chis-yah, do whatever you want. I'll always follow."
The knight Rus answered,
"Why don't you just do as you please?"
The saintess Vien answered, but
"..."
Lily couldn't answer and replaced her answer with a nod.
"..."
"..."
"..."
The three party members excluding Lily exchanged glances. Especially Vien and Rus exchanged lingering glances.
It was blindingly obvious why they were acting like that.
Even to Lily, her current appearance was strange.
Before the incident that happened a few weeks ago, her appearance wasn't like this.
Although she had been a bit blunt, they conversed well and frequently complimented each other, but ever since that incident, whenever Stachys spoke to her, Lily would become mute.
Stachys thought the party atmosphere was flowing strangely and asked Lily.
"Lily-ssi... um... by any chance... are you uncomfortable with me?"
"Yeees!!?? No!! No!! Not at all!!"
Without her knowing, a tremendously loud voice came out.
But she didn't want to give the impression that she hated him.
"Definitely!! Definitely not!!"
"Ah..! Um.. Is that so? Your voice seems a bit too loud, so calm down and..."
She felt her face turn bright red. She was also scared that he might start to dislike her because of her foolish behavior just now. For the first words spoken in weeks to be in such a loud voice...
She was so embarrassed she wanted to hide in a mouse hole.
"Well... uh. You seem to have changed a bit, but you must have your reasons."
"Y, yes.. There are... reasons. It's definitely not that Stachys-ssi is uncomfortable!!"
"That's right, Chis-yah. Lily-ssi says she has her reasons. Don't make things harder for Lily-ssi for no reason and let's continue the briefing first?"
At Rus's words, Stachys nodded. As Stachys's gaze shifted away from Lily, she felt her breath open up.
'But it must be just my imagination that Rus looked at me coldly, right?'
Lily thought.
"Um. Yeah. To continue, the place we're going today is a small village north from here."
"A wolf pack of unknown size has appeared near this village, and people are terrified."
"It seems people can't move around in the village. Because of that, they can't even go to the city to buy groceries, so food is running out. It seems like a more urgent situation than we thought. Many carrier pigeons with information detailing the same thing have flown in from the village."
"They say at night, wolf howling can be heard surrounding the village, and by morning, livestock are found dead? There are even speculations going around right now that those wolves might be trapping the villagers and eagerly waiting for an opportunity to devour them."
When Stachys spoke up to this point, Vien asked a question.
"...Isn't it quite a dangerous situation? Why wasn't a subjugation mission issued right away?"
"Because we don't know the scale. Dungeons are suddenly popping up in large numbers to the east, so we're already busy, and they probably don't want to move inefficiently. That's why our mission today is an investigation mission. We just need to find out how big the wolf pack is and what kind of wolves they are. Since the situation is urgent, the guild supported us with one riding horse each this time. So we can go quickly and investigate. If things go well, today's quest might even finish within today. And it's better to do that. Got it?"
"Got it."
"Yeah."
"..."
As he stood up and finished the briefing, Vien and Rus answered, but Lily couldn't.
This time it wasn't particularly because she was shy. It was because of what he said at the end.
'Huh? A riding horse? I don't know how to ride a horse...
Will he think of this as a nuisance? Will he hate me because I can't even ride a horse?
It's not like I can just not say anything.'
"Lily-ssi?"
As she didn't answer, Stachys had approached at some point and was gazing blankly at her.
Lily was flustered, not knowing what to do. Sh... Should I speak up here?
"U, uh.... um..."
"Lily-ssi, by any chance can't you ride a horse?"
But he asked as if reading her inner thoughts. Feeling her face redden, she nodded.
"Ah, as I thought. I've seen Vien and Rus ride horses, but I've never seen Lily-ssi, so I was actually getting a bit worried. Hmm. It's fine. That can happen. Ride with me."
"What?"
"Chis-yah?"
"!!"
Unlike Vien and Rus who were startled and chimed in with a word each, Lily couldn't say anything.
Of the three, she was the most shocked and struck mute.
"You said you weren't uncomfortable with me, right? Then ride behind me. Even though I look like this, I'm quite good at riding horses."
"Chis-yah, I'll let Lily-ssi ride with me."
"Y, yeah! Or leave her to me, Stachys!"
"No. You guys would be uncomfortable. As the leader, I should endure it. Now Lily-ssi, then there's nothing else, right?"
Stachys was touched by the two's proactive actions.
To care for Lily so much and be willing to endure discomfort for each other.
He thought it was a well-knit party with strong bonds among the members.
Lily once again just nodded without a word. Her heart was beating so hard her ears were ringing. Then does she go holding Stachys from behind? She imagined the future that would unfold ahead.
"No, Chis-yah. Wouldn't Lily-ssi feel more at ease riding with me, another woman?"
"T, that's right! Are you an idiot, Stachys? Let's consider Lily. How is it..?"
"No, you guys. It's partly because you would be uncomfortable, but it's also because I feel like I need to talk with Lily-ssi while going along."
Vien and Rus closed their mouths at Stachys's words. The two couldn't find a retort.
Because Lily had been acting strange lately anyway.
Vien and Rus had guessed the reason, but Stachys couldn't, so he thought he needed to have a conversation with her.
Of course, it wasn't to pry into the reasons, but just to try and make her able to talk comfortably again.
Referring to the advice Stachys had heard from his hyung the day before.
After riding for a long time and the horses seemed tired, Stachys raised his hand to signal going a bit slower.
Seeing that, Vien and Rus, following from behind, calmed their respective horses.
Dagdak dagdak.
With a steady rhythm, the horses began to walk, exhaling pu-pu breaths.
Lily was sitting behind Stachys, wrapping her arms around his waist as they went.
When she first wrapped her arms around him, blood rushed to her head thanks to her incessantly thumping heart, making her keep feeling dizzy, but after a few hours, that calmed down a bit.
To how much it had calmed down, the trembling goat voice that used to shake in front of Stachys no longer came out.
Dagdak dagdak.
Lily relaxed her thighs and arms, which she had been tensing to avoid falling off the running horse, and enjoyed the scenery.
The sounds of nature. The smell of nature. The clear sky. Everything gave a sense of comfort.
"Um, Lily-ssi."
Lily's heart, which she thought had calmed down while slowly enjoying the breeze and scenery, thumps once again.
It was Stachys who spoke to her.
She knew they would converse since he had given a heads-up before leaving that they should talk a bit together,
but thinking that they had to converse now made her heart flutter slightly.
"..."
Lily took a deep breath so he wouldn't hear. She also swallowed hard.
However, when no answer was heard, Stachys brought up words once more.
"...Lily-ssi? By any chance, if you are nodding your head right now, I can't see it? Haha..."
Stachys spoke while playfully lifting the reins.
Whether it was because of Stachys's joke easing the atmosphere, or because his face wasn't visible, Lily felt like she could speak a little.
"...Yes."
Lily answered in an ant-crawling voice. Fortunately, her voice didn't shake.
"Um... how is party life? It seems like it's been about half a year since we've been together."
To Lily, who thought he would ask why she was acting like that lately, it was unexpected.
However, since it would be embarrassing to show a startled look, she calmed down and answered in a calm voice.
"...It's good."
"Ah, is that so? That's a relief. Well, Rus and Vien are kind, right?"
Instead of nodding, Lily opens her mouth.
"...Yes. Both of them treat me well.."
"Now that I mention it, actually, before Lily-ssi joined our party, I had a lot of worries about whether we should find a new party member or not."
"Ah.. Is that so?"
"Yes. Rus and Vien said let's go as we are, but from my perspective, our firepower looked a bit lacking. But I'm so glad Lily-ssi came. Should I say the part I was worrying about completely vanished?"
Giving her nice, light praise made her heart even more comfortable. A ticklish, floating feeling replaced the emotions that had been making her heart pound.
Breathing also became a bit easier. Her hot face just became warm.
"Rus and Vien ended up saying I was right after all. That we seem to have become a more stable party."
"..Thank you for the praise."
Stachys laughs, haha. And then closes his mouth for a moment.
The wind gently stroked Lily's cheeks. Once again, the fresh scent of nature blew in. The brief silence didn't feel awkward.
"Lily-ssi, by any chance can I ask you some personal questions? Looking at it now, it seems like I know almost nothing about you."
Lily was the type of person who took a long time to get close.
It wasn't that she didn't talk at all, but she conversed with a somewhat stiff feeling.
Perhaps because of that, Stachys didn't know all that much about her.
"Ah, if it's uncomfortable, you can say you don't like it."
"..It's fine. Go ahead and ask."
It wasn't that Lily didn't want to talk with Stachys either. Rather, she wanted to talk more, but she couldn't because she was afraid she might be hated for her strange behavior.
In other words, she had no reason to avoid a conversation like now, slightly naturally and in a calmed state.
"Huh? It's fine? Haha, well... then what should I ask first..?"
"Pardon? Did you have that many things you were curious about enough to have to worry..?"
"Hey, even so, they're nothing special questions."
Without realizing it, Lily was drawn into the conversation with him. He was too skilled at leading conversations. It was so comfortable to talk that it made her think it was funny how she used to avoid and hide from talking with him out of fear that she might say something weird to him, or get hated, or have her feelings discovered. Lily felt her heart gradually becoming more at ease.
"Now, I'll ask the first question? I haven't been able to ask until now, but how old are you?"
"...Why age?"
"I want to know if you're an older sister, younger sibling, or the same age."
"Age is a secret."
Lily, having grown comfortable, also playfully and slowly jokes a bit. There was also the fact that she just didn't want to answer the question itself.
"Pardon? It's a secret already?"
"You shouldn't ask a woman her age."
"Then just let me know if you're older or younger than me. I'm 22 years old."
"..."
She's younger, Lily thought. But she still didn't want to tell him.
Poke, she jabs his side a bit boldly.
"Ugh! Ah, you startled me!"
Whether because she knew he was younger, or because of his startled reaction, his appearance came across as cute.
"Anyway, I won't tell you."
"Is that so? Aww, too bad. Well then, the next question..."
"Can I ask a question too?"
Lily asks Stachys. Since he had asked about her, she thought it was an opportunity to learn more about him as well. Because ever since that incident, she had become curious about him, and she thought it would be a bit unfair if only Lily was the one receiving questions.
Stachys grinned while sitting on the horse. He felt the conversation going well, thinking 'As expected, it's hyung's advice'. His hyung had told him to put a thick plate of iron on his face and say whatever he wanted to do. And whenever he followed his hyung's words, just like always, his worries melted away like magic.
"Of course, Lily-ssi. Then shall we exchange questions one by one?"
"Yes. Let's do that. Then I'll ask my first question too?"
"Go ahead."
.
.
.
.
Quite a bit of time had passed since they started riding horses. The horses also evenly exhaled their rough breaths. The sun had shifted a bit too, making it feel like in a few more hours it would become evening twilight. However, only the voices of Lily and Stachys still continued.
"Stop lying a bit, Stachys!"
"It's real, it's really real."
"Huhu, you're good at saying funny things too."
Lily had now regained her old appearance. No, rather, she looked even better than before. The somewhat blunt her now spoke steadily. Vitality returned to her eyes. Overall, she gave a much more vibrant impression.
"Now, Stachys? Then ten... was it the fourteenth? I'll ask a question?"
"Yes, go ahea-whoops"
The horse stepped on a stone and stumbled slightly. Lily, who was behind, also got startled and hugged Stachys's waist. Whether from being startled by the horse shaking, or from hugging Stachys, her heart pounded.
The feeling of tightly gripping his waist in the morning versus hugging his waist after having a conversation all day long was different.
If in the morning it was mostly because she was embarrassed that her heart raced, now that they had talked and he had become a bit more comfortable, her heart thumped because of a slightly more tender, slightly more gloomy emotion rather than embarrassment.
She wanted to grab his waist a bit deeper.
The sensation in her palms seemed to keep getting more sensitive.
Taking advantage of the situation, Lily impulsively tried to press her chest firmly against his back.
Realizing shortly after how embarrassing a thought that was, she blushed.
All these emotions, feelings, and impulses were a first.
"Lily-ssi, are you okay?"
"Y... yes. I was a bit startled?"
"I'm sorry."
"What is there to be sorry about, Stachys."
Stachys calmed the startled horse. And after a moment of silence, he laughed.
"Why are you laughing?"
"No. It's just that Lily-ssi seems to have returned to her original self."
"...So? Do you hate it?"
"That's why I'm glad. Anyway, let's continue. What was your question?"
"...."
He's happy, so I'm happy too.
Anyway, so the question I was going to ask...
Ah. There's just something I suddenly became curious about.
....Can I ask it? Lily found it harder to voice that question than she thought. She couldn't even know the reason why.
"..Um..."
"Pardon? Go ahead and ask."
"It's a question with no meaning at all...?"
She added an excuse for no reason. She was embarrassed, and so she wanted to beat around the bush, but this time she didn't back down. Having exchanged questions and answers all day long, asking anything wouldn't be strange. So Lily thought she shouldn't miss the current situation.
'It's natural. It's something I can just ask.'
She consoled herself.
"What is it that you're hesitating so much."
"...Well, you see.."
"...?"
"Uhm.. By, by any chance.. a girlfriend-"
"Chis-yah. It looks like we've arrived."
Rus cut her off.