Cha Seeun (1)
Inside the speeding car. Suffocating silence.
“….”
It was awkward. If dying of awkwardness were possible, this would be the exact moment.
I claimed the passenger seat and kept my head pressed to the window, pretending to have passed out so I wouldn’t actually die.
I clenched my fist against a face that kept trying to burn. The memory of myself trembling like the lead in some B-grade horror movie had come flooding back.
And the one who had pulled me out of that role was Cha Seeun, driving right beside me.
If she hadn’t appeared, I would probably still be shaking—curled up on the floor, glaring resentfully at a door that refused to lock.
I listened to the quiet that had finally settled in my chest.
‘Why did I suddenly feel better?’
It had been off for hours, so maybe not so suddenly.
Then why had I, just on the edge of sleep, gone strange in the first place?
The scenery outside the car rushed past. I, who could not step into it, already knew the answer.
I must have always been like this.
“….”
Surely that was it.
When night fell, when the world around me darkened—the moment the thought that I was alone took hold—I would be swallowed by some unknown, grotesque terror.
Cha Seeun clearly knew this side of me as well.
Otherwise, how could she have cut short my half-mad dawn?
I massaged a hand that had gone bloodless and sank into thought.
I still had no certainty that Cha Seeun was my girlfriend. But the fact that the possibility had risen meant I could afford to believe in it a little more, didn’t it?
Following the conclusion I reached in an instant, I lowered the corners of my eyes and muttered in a weak voice.
“…Thank you.”
“What?”
At the light that had just turned red, Cha Seeun took her hands off the wheel and met my gaze.
The quiet interior of the car. The sleeping city. A single word blurted out of nowhere into the awkward atmosphere.
The timing had been somewhat intentional.
I wondered if I really needed to scheme this hard, but Cha Seeun was practically holding my leash.
No amount of caution would ever be enough.
“Well…”
I closed my mouth for a moment, pretending to choose my words.
Then, as the light changed and Cha Seeun stepped on the accelerator more roughly, I spoke.
“I mean the way you’re helping me. Earlier, too.”
Trailing off, I fidgeted with the hand she had held before.
A sidelong glance. I nodded inwardly as Cha Seeun checked on me from the corner of her eye.
Good.
Even cute pets get abandoned once people decide they’re bothersome and hard to care for.
I, who wasn’t even cute, needed to try that much harder.
Whether the effort had paid off or not—Cha Seeun took me not to some remote roadside convenient for dumping, but to a luxurious officetel.
My chest fluttered a little at the thought that I had grabbed the right leash.
At least I wouldn’t have to worry about being kicked out for freeloading.
“You’ll stay here from now on.”
“We’re living together?”
At my curious question, Cha Seeun turned her back and took out a card key.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
The door lock that refused to open blared a noisy warning.
In that interval, through the neat fall of her black bob, I caught the faint flush at the tips of her ears.
Bang!
Cha Seeun roughly suppressed the lock’s resistance as if slamming it into submission.
The moment we stepped into the entrance, she suddenly whirled around to face me.
“What.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
In truth I was completely absorbed in looking around the place.
The living room that fully captured the open view from this height. Low lighting scattered like the night sky. The floor that glowed softly beneath it.
Was this really somewhere I belonged—still in hospital clothes because I had nothing else to wear?
It was luxurious without being flashy. Clean in its emptiness.
Noting that this new master had a scary personality, I swallowed the admiration that tried to escape.
“The house is really nice.”
But there was no sense of anyone living here. Enough to make you doubt whether anyone actually did.
Anyone would naturally want their own space. Yet so many things in this fine house showed no trace of having been touched, as if they had always been that way.
“You like it?”
“Yes. I do.”
A living room that resembled a hotel lounge. Two corridors branching off on either side.
Cha Seeun walked down the passage to the left and asked again.
“So you like it?”
“Yes. I like it.”
Hmm? Something about the tone felt off.
I quickly caught up to her. She was nodding slightly, expression hidden behind her bob.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
Without putting the denial into words, she opened a door.
“Use this.”
The room was large. It felt particularly larger than anywhere else.
“….”
Well, of course—because it was like a storage room with nothing that should have been there. No bed, no desk, no wardrobe.
It was literally an empty room.
‘This stingy person.’
She had the makings of a very bad owner. The kind who brings a puppy home and, instead of walks, just fills the food bowl and goes out for the night.
I gritted my teeth and asked with the brightest smile I could manage.
“Is this originally the guest room?”
Instead of answering, Cha Seeun kept looking around the room. She seemed to be searching for something, so I waited quietly.
Eventually she turned and gestured to me.
“Seen enough? Let’s go.”
“Where?”
I lightly followed her arbitrary lead past the living room.
This time down the right corridor. At the end, the room we faced held a large bed, unlike before.
Cha Seeun lightly undid the buttons of her suit jacket and asked.
“Want to wash first?”
“…Excuse me?”
Wondering if I had misheard, I looked back. She wordlessly shrugged off the jacket. Under the white shirt, certain curves were especially pronounced.
I looked without thinking, then hurriedly shook my head.
“Um, we’re going too fast… no, I mean not that I’m fast. I only just met Seeun—”
“Seeun?”
A low voice repeating the name. At the same time her eyes sharpened, I hurriedly changed course.
“S-Seeun…?”
This time her lips pressed into a straight line. No matter how I looked at it, the reaction was not positive.
“Seeun noona!”
A slight cold sweat ran down.
Scary. The eyes fixed on me, opposite the slowly rising corners of her mouth. If using that pretty face to look terrifying was a talent, it was definitely a talent.
“Call me Seeun.”
Whether permission or forgiveness, she accepted only that form of address and disappeared into the bathroom.
I stared blankly at the door, then snapped back to myself at the sound of water that soon began.
‘This… how far have we gone as a couple?’
No—at this rate, is there even further to go?
Sitting on the floor, I unconsciously clutched my collar tight.
Could it be, could it be…?
In my head the scattered puzzle pieces found their places and locked together.
Not answering about living together because it was obvious? The empty room with no furniture. Bringing me straight to the bedroom. The shower. Then what remains is—
“Even so, right away like this?”
With someone who has no memories? Me who just got discharged? No matter how urgent the desire, this is too fast!
I covered my face with both hands.
I can’t. My head won’t turn anymore.
Perhaps what I needed now wasn’t logic or thought, but resolve.
I swallowed deep breaths as if steadying a shaking heart. Once wasn’t enough, so several times. Only then did the bathroom door open.
A faint fragrance, followed by rising steam.
When I raised my head, what appeared before me was Cha Seeun, her figure fully revealed by the moisture still clinging to her.
The contours of her curves that even a suit couldn’t hide were clear, so my gaze was stolen of its own accord.
“Done looking?”
For saying it so casually, Cha Seeun lightly covered her chest with both hands.
“….”
I also lowered my head and passed by her.
When I closed the door, the lingering scent brushed my nose.
I threw off the hospital gown and raised my cast-wrapped left arm high. I received the pouring hot water with my whole body.
I stayed like that for a long while, then wiped myself down when I decided the time had come. Very thoroughly.
After drying off and opening the door, a change of clothes lay neatly waiting.
“…?”
Pajamas. And ones with a cute little character drawn on them.
‘Quite the taste.’
Too distinctive to have been grabbed at random.
When I put them on and stepped out, Cha Seeun was sitting at the edge of the bed looking at me.
“You’re not a kid. Why do you like that kind of thing?”
“…Me?”
“That’s your taste.”
It was absurd. If you’re going to lie, at least make it plausible.
“You don’t remember?”
But I had no words to retort. Who would believe a guy who can’t even remember if he said no?
Besides, if not these, I had nothing to wear but the hospital gown.
“Come here.”
Cha Seeun lightly tapped the side of the bed with a fingertip.
I patted my racing heart once and approached boldly. A body that had already decided to throw away pride and everything else.
If you’re going to cross the line, you have to cross it all the way. Hesitating is weirder.
The moment Cha Seeun called me into the bedroom, the next step after washing couldn’t have been clearer.
“Huh?”
I wordlessly pulled Cha Seeun into an embrace. The temperature of her body heat against mine.
Slowly, from her shoulders down to her waist, I stroked her back with only a thin layer of fabric between us.
And the pure white skin radiating heat. The gaze looking up at me. Relying on instinct, I slowly lowered my head.
A faint sweetness lingered on the lips that met mine.
But for some reason, at her wavering pupils, I gently pulled away.
I felt that something was wrong.
“Um… were we not that kind of couple?”
Cha Seeun didn’t answer. Instead, after steadying a breath more disordered than usual, she fiddled with the lips that had touched with a fingertip.
“It wasn’t to this extent.”