Mid-Rank Angel Anzelli's Grave Dilemma
Mid-rank angel Anzelli on Earth had fallen into a profound dilemma.
Until now, Anzelli had planned to build her relationship with Chanyoung slowly and steadily—by human standards, at least. For a divine being like her, who lived an immortal life, the pace of their progressing bond was already blisteringly fast. And for Anzelli, a complete novice who had never even dated before, proactively suggesting a massage had been... an act of monumental courage, the boldest move of her entire life.
"Ugh... what should I do? Sh-should I get even bolder here...? No, somehow that feels..."
She still wasn't fully accustomed to the nightly skinship that stemmed from that daring action in the past. Now, she was lost in deep thought: should she accelerate things further?
The reason for Anzelli's impatience was simple.
"In just a few days, my junior is moving in here completely... Ahh! I've totally forgotten about it until now!"
She had suddenly remembered the existence of a third party—someone besides herself and Chanyoung. Even someone as sharp-minded as Anzelli couldn't help but have her vision narrow when the thrill of first love came knocking.
First love. It was truly her first love. Not some forced affection, but genuine emotion that had bloomed from her heart.
Anzelli had realized this just a few days ago. It wasn't back when she'd first suggested the massage. Those feelings... in her mind, they had been fake.
In any case, once her junior started living in Chanyoung's house, it would be hard to advance their relationship any further. If they were already together, it wouldn't matter if her junior saw. But having someone witness the process of them getting together brought Anzelli a whole different level of embarrassment.
It was like how people proudly tell friends they have a lover, but rarely admit to someone they're just crushing on—unless pushed.
The handover her junior had been assigned was already complete. Now, their boss just needed to confirm it and approve the personnel change, and she could move in as early as tomorrow.
Time was running out. Anzelli needed to make a decision.
"Grrrr..."
Whether she agonized or not, time marched on relentlessly. Evening turned to night, and the time for their usual skinship arrived.
In the end, Anzelli opened Chanyoung's door without reaching a conclusion.
Knock knock knock!
"Come in."
Creeeak... click.
She'd received massages several times now, so it would've been fine to lie on the bed beforehand, but Chanyoung always waited at the door whenever she knocked, ready to greet her with a gentle smile and guide her inside.
Anzelli loved those small gestures of consideration.
"Anzelli? Did something good happen?"
"Yeah. It's nothing."
Anzelli tried to suppress the corners of her mouth that had unconsciously lifted, then realized there was no need to hide it in front of Chanyoung and let herself smile freely.
She had always believed that anyone smiling—man or woman—looked beautiful. Chanyoung was surely no exception. If smiling made her even a little more beautiful in his eyes, there was no reason to hold back.
Instead of jumping straight into the massage, Anzelli and Chanyoung chatted lightly first. Talking with him was always a joy.
Is it because our chats are fun that I like Chanyoung, or do I like Chanyoung so our chats are fun?
The former didn't fit—times without chatting with him were enjoyable too. The latter didn't either—their first conversation had been delightful from the start.
What did it matter now? Distinguishing between them? If this moment was happy, that was enough.
At this rate, today would be like yesterday. No major relationship progress, but she could savor the heart-fluttering skinship. Half regretful, half relieved, Anzelli prepared to begin the massage.
"Hey, Anzelli?"
"Yeah?"
But today was a little different from yesterday.
"Can I give you a massage today?"
This time, Chanyoung approached Anzelli.
*I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but Anzelli seemed in high spirits today. So I made a bold proposal: how about I give her the massage this time?
"Me...? You, Chanyoung?"
"Yeah. I want to massage you, Anzelli."
If I'd hesitated even a little or trailed off, it would've looked suspicious, like I had ulterior motives. I stated it as confidently and clearly as possible.
Anzelli swallowed once after hearing me, her ears turning faintly red.
...Her ears were red?
Blushing meant she was at least aware I was a man to her. A very good sign.
"...If it's a request... sure..."
She murmured it while slightly lowering her head, almost crawling the words out. Instead of replying, I took her hand and led her to the bed.
Rather than laying her down, I had her sit. I sat cross-legged on the floor in front of her, facing her on the edge of the bed.
"I'll start with your feet?"
...A nod.
My first target was Anzelli's feet. The extremities are the farthest from the core, so they're the least resistant to touch. Paradoxically, though, they rarely get gentle stimulation, making them highly sensitive. They're used only to the intense pressure of bearing the body's weight.
Smooth...
I gently grasped Anzelli's foot. It was so small my one hand could cup it entirely. But treating it like delicate whipped cream cake, I held it carefully with both hands.
Anzelli stared at me blankly, her expression dreamlike, as if lost in a fantasy.
Squeeze.
Squeeze.
"Ah...!"
I pushed upward lightly without much pressure. The ticklish sensation seemed to snap her back a bit.
I lowered my gaze to her foot. Pressing hard under the pretense of a real massage would've been idiotic. The point was to make her conscious of my touch. Light pressure on the sole, like easing tension, was enough.
"..."
Squeeze.
Squeeze.
Minutes passed as I focused on gently massaging her dainty, beautiful foot. Just touching it was intoxicating enough to give me a foot fetish I never had before.
Come to think of it, Anzelli hadn't reacted in minutes. I looked up at her face.
"..."
"Anzelli?"
"Huh? Oh!"
She'd been staring vacantly at my hands on her foot, mouth slightly agape. My call refocused her eyes.
I couldn't help but be startled by her face. It wasn't just her ears—her entire face was flushed crimson.
Since when...?
Anyone but a total blockhead would get it from that look. Anzelli already liked me.
"Anzelli, your face is red."
"Ah?! D-don't look!"
She jolted at my words, covering her face with her arms. I just watched her silently.
For a brief moment, I pondered wordlessly. But I made my decision.
To draw out her feelings for me.
Smooth...
"Eek?! Ah?!"
I stood, pulled the sitting Anzelli into a hug on the bed. Her face buried into my chest.
Now in direct contact with me, she'd be hyper-aware. But not seeing my face might make it less embarrassing.
Sometimes, facing the one you like is more mortifying than embracing them. This was exactly that moment.
Wh-what... are you..."
"I'll listen."
"Wh-what?!"
"Say it now."
"...Hngh!..."
I omitted the subject, but she understood. I gently stroked her hair to help her calm, following its flow so as not to mess it up.
I felt her rigid body in my arms gradually relax over time. I waited quietly for her to settle and speak.
Smooth...
Stroke...
Stroke...
Smooth...
...
"Hoo... haa... Ch-Chanyoung...?"
Ten long minutes passed. Anzelli took deep breaths to steady herself, but her voice still trembled. Even so, she spoke.
"Yeah."
"...You know? You match my ideal type from way back almost perfectly."
"Ideal type... that's surprising."
"It surprised me too. The first human I met being my ideal... At first, I thought since he fit my type, I could force myself to love him just to experience romance I'd never known. Love had always intrigued me..."
"Force it?"
"Yeah... I figured if a good guy showed up, putting in effort to fall for him would let me feel love. Actually, before turning back time, I had feelings for you and thought it was love."
"All past tense."
"Because it wasn't love. Just my delusion. Everything until now... wasn't love."
"..."
"Love is... more... anxious... indecisive... wanting to reach out but..."
"Scared to get close?"
A small nod. Smooth... Anzelli in my arms nodded faintly. Her slender arms wrapped around my waist. She was hugging me back.
We held each other like that for a moment.
"Real love... is really... scary... I'm scared... If you reject me... it'd be... so terrifying..."
Squeeze.
She tightened her arms, pulling me closer, as if pleading not to push her away. This little angel was afraid—of the words that might end our talk.
But Anzelli was strong. She steeled herself with a deep breath and said to me:
- Huuuup!
"I like you, Chanyoung. As a woman likes a man."
"To be honest, I only realized my feelings a few days ago. I don't even know the clear reason I fell for you."
"Because you work so dazzlingly hard? Touched by your little considerations for me? Because our personalities mesh so well it's always fun together...?"
"...Honestly, none of that. Even without those merits, I couldn't be sure I wouldn't fall for you."
"If those were the reasons, then right now, just you stroking my hair would be reason enough. They're just excuses people slap on."
"I like you. Just... like you. That's certain. I like you, Chanyoung."
"Compared to others or my junior, you've treated me so much better. And now, you're holding me like this."
"Is this just my delusion? Or... does it mean I'm special to you too, Chanyoung?"
Anzelli fell silent after that, waiting for my response. Afraid. Or hopeful.
'...'
Angels were closer to humans than gods, emotionally speaking. Imperfect. They got angry, sad, flustered, fell in love. Lied? Of course. Baek Hamin's handler angel had deceived him for performance metrics, after all.
So it was possible. To nudge Anzelli a step away from goodness.
I'd once said that if the gains justified it, I was ready to become trash anytime.
My instinct told me: now was the time.
"Anzelli."
"...Yeah."
I spoke a lie. Wounding the heart she'd opened to me.
"I already have a lover."