Earth
“Aaaah… Aaaah…”
How hard had I worked to see this window. Just a few lines of text, but what of it.
“Uaaah… Aah…”
[Current Novel: Terraforming]
Return to Earth?
[Yes] [No]
I did it. Sure, at the end I looked less like a swimmer and more like a drowning ant… but I did it anyway.
No matter how slow the river's current in the downstream shallows, swimming upstream is a bitch. That's why it took over an hour to cover just 1km. My body was exhausted too.
“33 seconds… 34 seconds… 35 seconds…”
Brack counting out my five-minute break aloud as I lay dying on dry land. Normally, I'd be praying for a seizure or something to make time slow down… but right now, it didn't matter one bit.
“Kuhhhh…”
I didn't give a damn about what came next. With my trembling fingers, I jabbed the [Yes] button.
Right now, what I craved more than anything was rest. Not some five-minute teaser like a food court sample, but a long, leisurely feast—like a twelve-course meal that takes four hours to eat.
Unless some drop-dead gorgeous woman tempted me with “Wanna fuck?”, no one was interrupting my downtime.
Transfer initiated.
A bit dizzy. My body felt floaty, like it was lifting off. Consciousness pulled away. My eyes closed on their own as I surrendered to the weird sensation.
…
I opened my eyes. Home. Earth time: Saturday evening. No worries, just pure relaxation ahead.
“Uuuugh…”
My body was soaked in sweat and river water, the bed stank… but compared to the training camp's wooden bunks and outdoor bivouacs, it was incomparably comfy. They say the best rest is sleep. I crashed naturally onto the bed and passed out.
*
Screeech… Thud… Rattle rattle…
How long had I slept? Some noise jolted me awake. Glancing at the window, the day had changed. The clock said Sunday morning.
Rattle… Rattle rattle…
…What the hell is that?
According to the memories from the angel, I lived alone here. There shouldn't be any sounds inside the house.
“Fuck, what is it? A burglar?”
The sudden crisis right after hitting Earth had curses flying out. Cold sweat beaded up. One hand hovered over 112 on my phone—ready to hit call for the cops—the other groped for any weapon in the room.
But the annoyingly tidy space had nothing useful. The best I found was a long, sturdy bug spray can.
‘Uh… no choice, this’ll have to do… better than nothing…’
I could check the shop for weapons, but thinking of the hard-earned karma I'd saved up, I couldn't bring myself to spend it. Buy one after confirming it's a thief and dealing with them first.
Creak…
I crept silently, easing the door open without a sound. Heading toward the living room where the noise came from. As I tiptoed around the corner on my heels—
A man emerged from the living room into the hallway.
“!!”
“Oh. Hello.”
Bow.
Blue cap, blue vest, blue pants. He spotted me, bowed politely, and greeted softly.
I nearly clocked him with the bug spray in my panic. What stopped me was how calm he was for an intruder. He acted like he knew me—“Park Chanyoung”—nodded casually, then went back to mopping the floor.
Yeah. Mopping the damn floor.
“…Who are you?”
“Yes? It's Sunday?”
Sunday what? Is his name Sunday? My brain blue-screened at the incomprehensible situation.
What the fuck is going on?
Whew… calm down.
His actions didn't scream thief. No panic at seeing the homeowner, even bowed to me. I reined in the confusion and observed coolly.
Mopping the floor, cleaning the house. One hypothesis clicked.
“By any chance… are you from a cleaning service?”
“Yes, that's right. Sunday at 08:00, weekly, correct?”
“Ah… yeah…”
‘You fucking angel! You said you synced all relationships!’
Full realization hit; tension drained from my body. I snuck the bug spray—clutched like a lifeline—behind my back.
Oh yeah, the razor in the bathroom was a disposable too? No wonder the place was spotless beyond belief for that slob's house. Should've been buried in PET bottles and snack wrappers.
“Uh… I don't think I opened the door for you… how'd you get in?”
“Previously, you said you hated getting up every morning to let me in, so you gave me the passcode.”
The guy phrased it as “hated getting up every morning,” but to me it sounded like “too lazy to bother.”
Giving the passcode to a stranger because walking from bedroom to door once a week was too much… Does that idiot have a brain?
First thing after this guy leaves: change the damn passcode.
“…I'm changing the passcode today, so starting next week, please ring the doorbell.”
“Got it.”
“Yeah… then, please finish up.”
Bow.
He bowed once more, then bustled around cleaning: mopping living room and hall, dusting rooms, emptying trash. Even did the piled-up dishes.
‘…This is ridiculously convenient…’
“Oh, since you're up today, I could probably wash the bedding too. Shall I take it?”
That explained why the blanket was the only smelly thing… Guess the cleaner couldn't before.
Wait, how long since that blanket was washed? No way that beige is its original white…?
…I wish I hadn't realized that.
Urk… Nausea hit.
Hell yes to washing it. But no spare blanket? Not in my wardrobe at least…
“Any spare blankets in the house…?”
“Yes… As far as I know, there's spare bedding in the guest room.”
‘How the hell do you know more about my house than me, the owner?’
Fuck. Not my fault, but embarrassing as hell. Face burning.
*
“Uwaaaah… I'm so sorry… I filtered ‘relationships’ by knowing each other's names, so this mishap… Former Park Chanyoung didn't even know the staff's name or visit time… This is prime sprawl-and-sleep o'clock…”
Not some buggy indie dev, but heaven works this sloppily? I had no clue where to start complaining; my head throbbed.
“…Can't you prevent slip-ups like this? Not the first time.”
“Well… no good solution…”
“Just copy that asshole's entire memory and give it to me?”
“Heaven has human rights laws like Earth…”
No go, huh. Fine then…
“If you're rejecting my demand, offer an alternative. Don't just say no.”
“At least this time it passed without major issues…”
“What if I'd mistaken the guy for a thief and beat him? With a weapon—aggravated assault. Even with settlement, that's jail time. My life almost got fucked just now?”
“Eeee…”
No slipping away easy. Lucky I figured it out quick, or it'd be disaster. My parallel self's probably rotting in jail right now. Time to avenge that.
“Hand it over.”
“Eeeeek!”
I stated my perfectly reasonable demand confidently. No thug extortion here—I'd win in court spotless.
No alternative? Compensate then. Right?
“Trait. Gimme.”
“Snoooort?! Nooooo!!”
Squeeeeal—!
The angel shrieked her absolute refusal. But absolutes don't exist. I got one once; no reason not twice. Having tasted Natural Healing's power, I was dying for another trait. If a general one's this good, how busted is a specialized one? Especially combat-related?
Drool-worthy.
“What's not to? Go confer like last time. I'll wait.”
“You got Natural Healing easy at first, but that took days of all-nighters up top to approve!”
Days of meetings? Felt like a second to me; thought it was quick. Heaven takes traits seriously, huh.
“That was an exception tied to your ‘wish’—total one-off! Never ever again!”
“Even if I promise no more compensation claims for future slip-ups like today?”
“…Pardon?”
I licked my lips.
Time to haggle.
“Think about it. Fix the root cause, or these issues repeat forever, red faces every time. Give me a trait now, and I swear zero complaints no matter what—even 100 or 1,000 ‘mistakes.’”
“H-hu-hundred… thousand times…”
Best card I had. Selling my future, sure—but showed how bad I wanted that trait.
My offer tempted her hard; from firm no to deep thought.
“Noooooo… still can't! First trait maybe, but second? No way!!”
Damn… even this no?
Seemed shakable more…
“C'mon…”
“Waaah! Uh… l-let me ask my senior for advice!”
“Hey! Wait—!”
And I↗ will always love you↗↗
She vanished without hearing me out. Damn, should've kept pressing—might've pried a trait loose. Regret sending her off.
Whitney Houston's “And I Will Always Love You” echoed in the air. Angel gone.
Why the song? Asked when she first appeared with it—it's her “non-startling” entrance/exit method, per our deal. Plays every time now. Her favorite tune.
Whatever, no scares = fine. Respect her taste.
She keeps promises spot-on—even bailed mid-panic with the song.
“Kid's good-hearted… but dumb as rocks…”
Say it to her face, she'll cry. Angel = good by default? Like fish in water.
And I↗ will…
“Coming back soon?”
Song again. Third time, feels familiar—like a custom ringtone for a close friend or lover. Hear it, know who's calling without looking.
“I'm back!”
Pre-departure panic gone. Her face showed none—easy to read, emotions plain. Confusion cleared.
‘Too bad.’
My emotional shake-up wasted. More pressure might've scored a trait.
Best hope: senior-advised good terms.
“So. Good answer?”
“First! Chanyoung, you tried to trick me!”
“…How?”
“Liar! Scammer! These ‘mistakes’ max five lifetime, but you said 100 or 1,000!”
Busted.
That loner's life? Rare slip-ups. She pierced my ploy just from my flustered explanation.
That senior? Way sharper. Demand a swap.
“…No lie. I really meant forgiving all future ones.”
“Eek! Scammer! Scammer! SCAMMEERRR!! Taking advantage of my panic! Not falling for it! I know everything now!!”
“…”
“Plus, aggravated assault! Settle big on-site, no police report—no jail! Even if you hit him, heaven covers settlement— you knew!!”
“Tch…”
Even that… Angels ain't all dumb.
As she said. Apologize, shove billions her way, simple contract—no report.
Contract's legal or not, its existence deters: piss off someone tossing cash like confetti? Plus repay millions received? Normal folks pass.
Failed schooling pure angel on real world.
Traits? Dead.
Had to drop it.
“Whatever… knew that, can't help it.”
Her pissed-off face was gold. Kinda sorry, but angry > smile or blank. Cheeks max-puffed, red, like chewy rice cakes.
Cute = kid-cute, obvs.
Me grinning pissed her more; she snapped.
“K-keep teasing angels, you'll get heavenly punishment!”
“Doesn't happen.”
“Uwaaaah!! Why won't you lose once?!”