Loss (2)
When Seona and Miel collapsed in the bathroom, Yurin carefully carried Seona to her own bed, laid her down gently, and pulled the covers over her.
Then she smashed the computer that had been blaring those loud moans.
With the machine destroyed, the speakers no longer poured out moans and screams — only a continuous wash of static noise.
Even so, Yurin's fists trembled violently, her rage barely contained.
Conflict and regret coiled together in her heart. The thought that her own poor judgment had nearly cost her Seona a second time. Miel's words — that Seona's mind had shattered because sex with Yurin had terrified her so deeply — drove a dagger straight into her chest.
She had no idea how to untangle this relationship. She looked down at the deeply sleeping Seona with a complicated expression. As a woman, her pride felt utterly crushed.
Miel woke to the cold touch of the floor against her skin.
The bathroom tiles were frigid enough that her whole body shivered. When she pressed her palm flat to push herself up, something slick coated her hand.
She registered the cold liquid at once, forced her scattered mind into focus, and fixed her gaze on her palm.
Red liquid soaked it thoroughly. So much had flowed that it still hadn't dried.
Still?
A sudden wrongness cut through Miel's thoughts. Chasing that unease, she dragged her throbbing head back through the moments before she blacked out — and realized the blood belonged to both Seona and herself. She began searching for Seona in a frantic panic. She had to check on her condition.
"Seona! Seona…"
Whether no one heard her or simply didn't care, the bathroom door stayed shut no matter how long she called. The pain in her head refused to fade, and Miel only cried out for Seona more desperately.
Yurin had dozed off without meaning to.
Beside her, Seona was still fast asleep. Yurin had wiped the blood from under Seona's nose so many times that the skin there had flushed red and swollen from the friction, even with wet tissues. Looking at it, she knew none of what had happened had been a dream.
Seona mumbled faintly in her sleep, then yawned. Her eyelids began to flutter — she was about to wake.
Her eyes opened and started roaming the room. Finding herself in a strange place, she startled, eyes going wide, and pushed herself upright. The moment she saw Yurin, she scrambled backward.
"Where is this…? Who are you?"
Part of Yurin wondered whether it might be better if Seona simply never remembered her — if they could start over with new memories. But the thought that another episode like this could cost her Seona entirely kept her from embracing that hope.
Seona looked as though she couldn't even hold her own memories together. Worried, Yurin took her to the bathroom where Miel was waiting.
When she opened the door, she found Miel sitting with her knees drawn up, her face a mess of tears. Catching herself, Miel scrubbed furiously at her eyes with both arms, then spoke as if nothing were wrong — as if she had known all along that Yurin would come asking about Seona's condition.
"Just hand Seona over first… I won't try anything. I only need to check on her."
Miel's tone was almost pleading.
"If you pull anything stupid, I'll lock you up in a state where you can't die and can't live. You'll never see Seona again."
Yurin glared at her, the threat delivered in a low, deliberate voice. For someone supposedly asking a favor, she was aggressive — but given everything this bitch had done, Yurin figured the reaction was more than fair.
"Fine. I really won't."
Miel said it as if she meant every word. Then, once Seona was passed into her arms, she laid a hand on Seona's head and began reading her condition.
Earlier, she hadn't been in her right mind, so she hadn't managed a clean reassembly. Far too many fragments had broken free. It was already too late to simply put them back. The only option was to shatter the mind again and rebuild it — but so much of Seona's psyche had already been ground away that even after reattachment, cracks ran everywhere. One wrong break and nothing would ever fit together again.
Miel had no choice but to erase the fragments.
The broken pieces of memory had been sleeping in Seona's unconscious. Miel swallowed every last one of them, so that the clump of memories fused inside the unconscious would never be pierced again. Most of Seona's memories would now be empty. In particular, the parts tied to Seona's happiest memories — the very framework that had been holding her mind upright — had been almost entirely ground down.
What little remained couldn't be left as it was, so Miel began planting new memories to rebuild the framework. It was a little selfish, but she filled it with memories of herself: that she was Seona's girlfriend, that the two of them were already married. To make that framework solid, memories with her would be essential — which meant Yurin would have no way to stop her from having sex with Seona. She kept that sly calculation carefully hidden as she worked.
In the end, everything Yurin had feared was coming true — but Yurin would never know. She would have no choice but to take Miel's word for it. You couldn't argue with an expert.
Then Miel began assembling, one by one, the memories she had swallowed. What she had been forced to devour in order to fix Seona was the very thing that had held Seona's mind together: her happiest moments.
Memories of her parents.
When Miel finished the memory work, Seona's expression eased considerably. Realizing that Miel was her wife, she found herself wondering why she had ever forgotten — though it didn't seem particularly important. The touch of the hand that had just been resting on her head had felt good, after all.
But that fragile hope lasted only a moment.
The iron collar around Miel's neck, chain dangling from it. And the unknown woman who had brought her here. No matter how hard she thought, she couldn't remember how she had ended up in this place. On top of that, something about the woman made her want to keep her distance. Just looking at her filled Seona with a nameless fear.
"So what happened?"
The woman asked Miel.
"When her mind collapsed, a pretty big chunk of Seona's memories disappeared. Especially the ones that were holding her psyche together… far too many of them."
The words hit Yurin hard. Her face went pale.
"So the memories of the days Seona and I spent together are gone?"
"You crazy bitch. How many times do I have to tell you that what you and Seona shared was trauma?"
Watching the two of them snarl at each other as if they might come to blows any second, Seona figured they must know each other. They didn't look like they got along, though. The atmosphere was so charged that fists seemed ready to fly — if she so much as asked whether they were friends, even as a joke, she was sure they'd explode.
Miel went on, perfectly casual.
"What's holding Seona's mind together now is mostly the memories of the days she spent with me. There's no way to keep her stable except by living with me. If you want her fully settled, I have to be here."
"The crazy bitch is you. Why the hell would anything she did with you be a good memory? You brainwashed her, you deceived her, and now you've brainwashed her again, haven't you? Admit it, you psycho."
Miel felt a twinge of guilt, but she answered as if she hadn't.
"Think whatever you want. What are you going to do if you leave her alone and one day her mind collapses and she dies?"
Honestly, this fight was one Miel was always going to win. An amateur couldn't beat an expert. If Seona's mind really did collapse and kill her, Yurin would have no way to stop it.
"Ugh… fucking hell… I can't even kill you… So what the hell are we supposed to do now?"
Yurin's mouth had gotten rough from her years as a Hunter; the curses kept coming.
"We just live normally, the way Seona and I did back in the Demon Realm."
"Including sex with you?"
Yurin stared at Miel with a look that said she might beat her to death on the spot. Miel flinched a little under that pressure, but she wasn't about to give up sex with Seona. She answered with full confidence.
"Of course. With me — her wife!"
"Ah!! Fuck!!"
The blunt confirmation left Yurin so choked with frustration that she swore and kicked the bathroom wall. The blow landed hard enough to crack several tiles with a loud crash.
Seona and Miel both flinched and clung to each other, trembling. Miel knew perfectly well what this bitch was capable of when she lost control. This was the same woman who had once tried to smash Miel's head into a wall and kill her.
"Hah… hah…"
After a few deep breaths, Yurin seemed to settle enough to speak.
"So how long until she's fully stable?"
She was asking when Seona's mind would finally settle.
"Well, I'm pretty good at this, so it won't take that long… About three years?"
The words made Yurin feel as if her breath had been punched out of her. Having to watch her man live with another woman — in her own house — for three whole years was a living hell. And Seona didn't even recognize her. No — she was actively wary of her.
Yurin turned the problem over and over in her mind until a workable idea began to take shape. She couldn't stop Miel from having sex with Seona. But what if, every so often, she covered Seona's eyes and climbed on top of her in Miel's place? She had videos like that among her collection; Seona would never know the difference.
Yurin looked at Seona with a sly expression, then turned her gaze back to Miel.
She was going to need Miel's absolute cooperation.