Why Is My Body Like This?
Why is my body like this?
I was pretty sure I'd gotten addicted to the community app.
And for good reason — ever since that day, I hadn't gone a single hour without opening Bamboo Grove and hitting refresh.
None of the posts were particularly meaningful. Just short little bits of humor, the kind I'd already grown used to, written purely to be consumed and forgotten.
But that alone was more than enough to hook me.
After all, I was a total loner with zero friends I could actually message. Conversations with Bamboo Grove's anonymous users were my only real outlet for talking to anyone.
"Hehe."
Even now, with the start of the semester less than two days away, I was still glued to my phone.
And there was one more reason I'd grown so fond of Bamboo Grove.
Whenever I ran into something I didn't know, I could just post a question like that and the anonymous users would kindly fill me in.
Thanks, my anonymous friends.
After offering a silent word of gratitude to those nameless companions, I searched for the nearest store to buy some underwear.
As the post made clear, I'd decided to go pick up a few sets.
Honestly, when I was just hanging around at home, I barely noticed any discomfort without a bra. But the last time I went outside, it got pretty uncomfortable and tiring.
…It hadn't even been that long since I'd become a woman, and already the traces of having been a man were fading away. Something about that left a bitter taste.
The closest place was a shopping mall near the subway station. Close enough to walk there in no time, so I headed out right away.
A short while later, I arrived at the mall and spotted the lingerie shop I'd searched for, nestled among the women's clothing stores.
"…"
But actually walking inside wasn't so easy.
Beyond the glass storefront, women's lingerie in dazzling colors and decorations hung on mannequins, all facing my way.
Surely they don't only sell flashy stuff like that… right?
Doing my best to ignore the heat creeping into my face, I stepped into the store.
"Welcome!"
A female employee approached with a bright greeting.
"Ah, um, so…"
"How can I help you?"
"Um… could you maybe measure my underwear size for me…?"
At that, the employee asked me to wait a moment and went to fetch a measuring tape.
That was when Anon 2's advice from earlier came back to me. She'd said you had to take your clothes off for the measurement, right?
Following that advice, I peeled off my outer layer before she returned and grabbed the hem of my T-shirt with both hands.
But… was I really supposed to strip right here?
Through the glass windows at the front, plenty of people were walking by. If I took it off here, they'd definitely see everything…
While I was still fretting over it, the employee came back with the measuring tape in hand.
"Please follow me."
With that, she stepped into one of the fitting rooms.
Of course you measure inside. I almost turned into some exhibitionist.
I followed her into the fitting room, and she closed the door behind us.
"Could you take off your top for me?"
I nodded at her words and once again took hold of the hem of my shirt.
And then just… stood there.
"…Miss?"
"Ah, well…"
Baring my bare skin in front of a stranger was far more embarrassing than I'd expected.
Okay. Don't think weird thoughts. You're just getting your size measured, that's all.
Steeling myself, I pulled my hands straight up.
My chest, which had been tugged upward along with the fabric, dropped back down under gravity with a soft bounce.
"…"
Damn it, this was so humiliating. No matter how many times I told myself it was just a measurement, my burning face refused to cool down.
Did everyone else just do this like it was nothing?
Afraid that looking at the employee's face would only make me more embarrassed, I squeezed my eyes shut.
Park Hyein, an employee at the lingerie shop, had met all kinds of customers during her time working there.
And of every customer she'd ever seen, she could say without hesitation that this one was the most beautiful. Cha Yerin was stunning.
And right now, that same young woman stood before Hyein with her top off, eyes squeezed tightly shut and her face flushed red.
She was so mortified that her fingertips trembled slightly, and Hyein could almost feel the heat radiating from those flushed cheeks.
…Now I'm starting to feel weird about this too.
Still, she focused on the job, pulling out a length of measuring tape and leaning in slightly to wrap it once around Cha Yerin's body.
—A flinch.
The moment Park Hyein's cool fingers touched Cha Yerin's overheated skin, Yerin's whole body gave a sharp shudder.
"Hic…"
At the sound, Park Hyein looked up and found Cha Yerin staring into empty space, one hand clamped over her mouth.
"Um… are you all right, miss?"
"Y-yes! I'm fine…!"
Saying that with a face that looked anything but fine wasn't exactly convincing.
By this point, even Park Hyein could tell something was off.
Is she… into girls?
She'd had customers who got embarrassed about showing their bodies before. Most of those people were simply shy about the act of being seen.
But in Hyein's judgment, this customer's reaction didn't quite fit that category.
If she had to put it into words… it was embarrassment mixed with a little bit of arousal.
Park Hyein had never once questioned her own sexuality, but looking at Cha Yerin, she thought she might need to seriously reconsider.
Why is my body like this?
Something was wrong with me.
I know this might be hard to believe given how I look right now, but I am not a pervert. Seriously.
I have zero interest in showing my body off to other people.
And yet my body kept heating up — so artificially it felt like I'd been dropped into some crude, third-rate visual novel's steamy heroine event scene.
In other words, regardless of what I actually wanted, my body just kept reacting on its own.
"Nnh…"
Every time the employee's hands made contact, some mortifying little sound slipped out of my mouth.
Please, please don't let her have noticed. If she did, I might actually die of embarrassment.
How much longer was this measurement going to take…?
.
.
.
After what felt like ten minutes but was probably one, the employee put the measuring tape away and spoke.
"Ahem… your underbust is about a 70, and the cup looks like an E. At that size, you must have been pretty uncomfortable without a bra."
"…An E cup?"
That was bigger than I'd expected.
"And it looks like you came in without any underwear on. Would it be all right if I recommended a few options?"
"Yes, please."
She stepped out of the fitting room, then came back carrying several sets.
"If this is your first purchase, it's best to start with something comfortable."
Saying so, she handed me a plain black set and stepped back outside.
"Try it on and let me know."
I stared down at the pair of fabric pieces in my hands.
…How do you even put this on?
First I slid my arms through the shoulder straps. That much I understood. But how were you supposed to fasten the hooks in the back?
I reached both hands behind me, grabbed the hooks on either side, and tried to clasp them together — but the hooks wouldn't catch, and the shoulder straps kept sliding down.
"Urgh…!"
After a few more failed attempts, I gave up and cracked the fitting room door open just a sliver.
Poking my head out, I called to the employee.
"Um… how do you put on a bra…?"
"Ah, just a moment. I'll help you."
She came back into the fitting room and stood behind me.
Oh no. My face is going to turn red again.
.
.
.
Contrary to my worries, it was over so quickly this time that nothing particularly eventful happened.
I turned my head toward the mirror and found a woman looking back at me, wearing a clean, simple black bra.
This face and body were seriously cheating. It was just a plain bra with no special decorations, and yet on a pretty person it somehow looked extraordinary.
I was still standing there admiring myself in the mirror when the employee spoke up.
"And for the bottom…"
In her hand was the black pair of panties I still hadn't tried on.
"I'll put those on at home by myself…!"
"Understood. How's the bra? Nothing pinching or uncomfortable?"
"No, it feels fine. I like how clean the design is, too. I'll take about four of these!"
Something about my answer seemed to leave the employee a little disappointed.
"You're going to get them all in the same design? How about picking up at least one like this?"
She pulled out a set from behind her.
It was the flashy, lace-trimmed kind I'd spotted through the window before coming in. The color was the same black, but the design was anything but ordinary.
"No, that's a bit…"
"It would look so good on you, though. How about just trying it on?"
When I refused a second time, she didn't push any further. Still, she kept glancing longingly at that ornate set, as if she couldn't quite let it go.
But no matter what, I couldn't put that on. If I did, I was sure I'd feel like I'd lost something precious.