Life's Benefactor?
So I debuted in high society because they told me to network…
…and now I had a direct line to the imperial family.
Great. Business as usual.
Yeah.
Now that it had come to this, I was starting to feel weirdly reassured.
It already blew up once. It wouldn't blow up a second time… right?
Besides, Elise had originally been my employee anyway.
It wasn't like I'd made some brand-new connection, was it?
So didn't that mean I'd finally succeeded at doing absolutely nothing this time?!
With that, my self-justification was complete.
Haha.
Alright. Time to eat to my heart's content.
I'd come all the way to a banquet and spent the whole time just sipping drinks.
Having "dodged the bullet" once, I felt confident. Of course, Elise, who'd been treated as the sacrificial lightning rod, would probably be sad about it…
But that was just how the world worked.
"Looks like there's a lot of good stuff."
Every delicacy under the sun was gathered in the banquet hall. A few people were already carving or plating food onto their own dishes. And then my eyes locked onto…
Something that looked like an enormous chicken.
Is this some kind of turkey?
I cannot resist Big Chicken.
A massive bird roasted to a perfect golden brown. True to its bulk, the legs alone were several times the size of a regular chicken drumstick.
I can just take the legs, right?
I casually checked the people around me. Meat dishes seemed fair game—you just sliced off what you wanted and walked away. This "turkey" was probably the same.
So taking only the legs should be fine, right?
I really cannot resist turkey legs.
Ah, screw it. I'm taking them. If someone wants to curse me out, let them.
If you're afraid of getting flak, you can never become a true "resting youth." You have to be able to loaf around shamelessly even while people point fingers at you.
With that philosophy in mind, I boldly tore both legs clean off the bird.
Ahh. This was what they called playing both sides.
The kind of pure evil only a heartless psychopath could commit.
"Ohh. You know what you're doing."
"Excuse me?"
And then—
Just as I was glancing around after committing my heinous crime,
a man suddenly spoke to me.
He sported a magnificent Kaiser mustache that curled upward with style.
"As expected, a cockatrice's real charm is in the legs. That tender thigh meat, the juices packed inside, the chewy skin… I pity anyone who doesn't understand the appeal of the leg."
"Ah, right."
"Haha. Meeting someone who knows how to eat meat properly puts me in a good mood."
Uh… is this him giving me grief for taking both legs?
Is this how nobles talk?!
He seemed to really love legs…
Should I offer him one?
Yeah, grabbing both drumsticks had been too greedy after all.
Feeling awkward, I held one out.
"…Would you like one?"
"Ohh! Thank you! A toast to your generosity!"
"Ah, yes. Cheers."
This guy's overacting was intense.
He lifted his cockatrice leg; I lifted mine, and we both tore into them.
Skin that was chewy yet lightly crisp,
tender leg meat bursting with juices…
Ahh. This flavor—
It's king-sized, so it tastes king-delicious!
Aaaah, it's so fucking good…!
"Khhhk—."
"Huh?"
And then a dreadful sound came from beside me.
The mustached uncle who'd taken my drumstick had gone blue in the face, unable to even manage a proper choke.
"Holy shit."
Wait. Is he choking?
Did food just get stuck in this guy's throat?
And of all things, on the food I handed him?
Fuck. They're not going to think I tried to assassinate him, are they?
First the undeserved praise, now the undeserved hate?
"Excuse me for a moment!"
My body moved before my brain could catch up.
I stepped behind him, slid my arms under his armpits, and placed both hands between his solar plexus and navel. One hand clenched into a fist ready to drive upward under the breastbone; the other covered the fist.
Then I compressed his abdomen with all the force I could muster.
The Heimlich maneuver.
An emergency first-aid technique I'd learned on Earth in my previous life.
This world didn't have anything like it.
"Kehek!"
After a few attempts, the man finally expelled the food.
Breath returning in ragged gasps, he coughed repeatedly while I wiped cold sweat with my sleeve and let out a long sigh of relief.
Whew. Almost became an assassin there.
I didn't know who this man was, but…
Anyone attending this banquet had to be someone important.
If that someone had died after accepting a cockatrice leg from me?
The situation would have gotten spectacularly awkward.
I want to be a resting youth, not a criminal!
Sure, if I just gritted my teeth and did a little prison time, Father might give up on handing me the merchant group… but I didn't want to go that far.
Besides, prison was basically forced labor to begin with, wasn't it?
"Whew. Thank you. You saved my life."
"Ah, yes."
A moment later the man approached, dabbing at his sweat. For someone who'd just brushed death, his expression was remarkably bright.
He looked ready to cause another incident any second.
I sighed and offered some advice.
"Be careful when you eat for the rest of the evening. And maybe get checked by a priest or a doctor just in case. Don't push yourself just because you feel fine right now."
"How kind of you! Might I ask your name?"
"Otto Lothringen."
"Lothringen! Do you happen to know Miss Lise?"
"Huh? Ah, she's my older sister."
"Ohh! I knew it!"
What. He was one of Sis's acquaintances?
"I'm Luigi! Friends who know me call me Green-Hat Luigi."
"Is your older brother's name Mario, by any chance?"
"Pardon? I'm an only child!"
"Ah, I see."
So not those famous plumbers, then.
"I was wondering how to repay this life debt, but if you're a Lothringen, this will be simple. Haha."
"Huh? Oh, you don't have to call it a debt or anything…"
"I'll have every military procurement proposal the Lothringens submitted re-examined from the start—favorably, of course!"
"Excuse me?"
What business? Military procurement?
I thought he was just Sis's acquaintance?
"Um, I'm not sure I understand what you mean…"
"Ah, right. I'm the Vice Minister of the Imperial Department of Defense and National Security."
"…Come again?"
"The Minister focuses on political affairs, so for all practical purposes I control the defense budget. Haha!"
"Uh… yes?"
Ah. So he was that important?
But is it okay for someone like that to meddle in military contracts as a personal favor?
Isn't this basically defense corruption?
Can you just half-ass national security like that?
"Th-that's very kind of you, but wouldn't personal relationships interfering with military contracts cause problems…?"
"What are you talking about? You're my life-saving benefactor—of course I have to repay you!"
Ah. I miscalculated.
The very idea that private feelings had no place in state affairs didn't even exist in his head.
These imperial bureaucrats were completely insane.
Then again, in a world where bribes were normal, maybe this was normal too.
"I'll speak to my subordinates the moment the banquet ends!"
"Actually, I'm fine without—"
"No, wait! Even enjoying the banquet feels like a waste of time! I'll go right now! Haha!"
And just like that, he was gone.
I was going to lose my mind.
"…Nom."
I blankly tore into the remaining cockatrice leg.
It was delicious.
But is this even turkey?
Earlier he'd said "cocka…" something.
"Ah. Someone already took all the cockatrice legs…"
Right. Cockatrice.
Elise stood there holding an empty plate, looking ready to cry.
Unlucky girl.
"Kyaha! So little brother saved General Luigi's life at the banquet, huh?"
"No, it wasn't that big a—"
"I heard an assassin tried to poison General Luigi at the banquet and you noticed and stopped it?"
"That is genuinely not what happened."
If it had been an assassination, I would have been the assassin.
I was the one who'd handed him the drumstick.
"Anyway, little brother."
"Yeah, Sis."
"From now on, you're the head of our merchant group's military procurement division."
"…Come again?"
"You'll be reporting to the company for the next few months, so get ready! Oh, and I already told Father, so don't worry about that."
No. Why am I the head of military procurement?
"I don't know the first thing about military contracts."
"You'll learn!"
"No, why me when we have actual experts—"
"Come on, come on. Right now the Department of Defense is a free pass the moment they hear your name!"
"Then just lend them the name."
"Trust is life in military procurement! If the person in charge never shows his face, the working-level staff get ridiculously picky. This kind of work has to be done on the ground!"
No! I don't want to work!
"W-well, I still have to manage the Kissinger Merchant Group…"
"Uh-huh. And?"
"And work at the Cave Merchant Group has piled up so much I really need to get over there…"
"Ahh, I see."
Liselotte nodded as if she understood perfectly.
Did my sincerity get through?
As expected of big sis Liselotte.
Only the eldest sister truly understands her little brother's heart!
"A week should be enough, right?"
"Huh?"
Liselotte… what are you saying?
"I'll give you one week. Finish everything and come back within the week. Got it?"
"No, a week is way too short."
"Ah. If you think about all the prep work, you probably need to wrap it up in five days, right?"
"I'll take the week."
KRAAAAAH!
Why does the amount of work keep increasing?!
"Kehehe. Little brother, let's work hard together from now on and really sync up, okay?"
"Can't I just ride on your back instead…?"
"I can at least give you a princess carry!"
"Um. That might be a bit…"
My sister scooped me up in one smooth motion.
Huh. Cozier than I expected.