Even You (4)
Even in front of Caiden, Kirsi had shown a face of remorse. But the moment she stepped away from him, the anger she had buried deep inside came roaring back to life. Because of that woman from the Ice family, she had shown him a side of herself she never wanted him to see. In front of him, she had never once allowed herself to burp or yawn carelessly, yet she had revealed her wild, icy nature. Through that slip, she had earned both a scolding and his displeasure. What frustrated her most of all was that she had done nothing wrong. She had not lied. That Ice woman truly had been plotting something strange. Yet the woman had denied everything, making it seem as though Kirsi had been the one deceiving Caiden.
......But it was fine. She could forgive it all. After all, everything had worked out well in the end. She could overlook the fact that Caiden and the Ice woman had no choice but to be together during class. What mattered was that there would be no more private moments between the two of them during their free time. From now on, Caiden had promised he would come find her. The hours that would have been wasted on that Ice woman had vanished. It was a victory won through quick thinking. And she had not lied. It was true that many boys kept approaching her. It wasn’t bad enough that she felt the need to complain to Caiden about it, but it was certainly uncomfortable.
After arriving at the academy, she had quickly become aware of certain things. She seemed to be prettier than the others. Much prettier. Beautiful enough that it helped her make friends. Her silver hair that fell to her shoulders was called silky. Her face was said to resemble a cute puppy. Her personality was said to shine like sunlight. At first she had thought the compliments were merely polite gestures because of her family name, but Kirsi soon realized that eyes kept following her wherever she went. She had even begun to sense that the men who approached her had other intentions.
Fortunately, that very fact was what brought Caiden to her out of worry. As the end of class drew near, Kirsi’s legs began to bounce with anticipation. He would soon come looking for her. The knowledge that he would seek her out, rather than the other way around, filled her with far greater happiness.
“...That concludes today’s lesson.”
“Thank you!”
The moment the professor finished speaking, Kirsi gave a deep bow and bolted from the classroom. Her friends stared after her in surprise, but she paid them no mind. Logically, there was no need to rush like this. He still had to make his way here. But she wanted to. She wanted to wait for him even a little bit sooner.
****
She waited at the empty fountain, tapping her feet impatiently for only a short while. Soon nobles began pouring outside for dinner. Some faces were new, others faintly familiar. Every one of them walked along with bright smiles, conversations blooming like flowers. The sunset was slowly sinking, and birds chirped overhead. The fountain’s light spray cooled Kirsi’s face refreshingly. She gazed at the scene before her in a daze. This was the academy life she had always dreamed of. Beautiful scenery and atmosphere. Smiles spreading everywhere, full of happiness. And soon, Caiden would come find her.
Like the saying that eyes reflect the heart, in this happy moment nothing appeared ugly to her. She couldn’t understand why simply waiting for him was so enjoyable. Smiles kept slipping out uncontrollably. Kirsi periodically glanced in the direction he would come from. Even though she knew checking so often meant nothing would change, her eyes kept drifting that way. To others it probably looked as if she were shaking her head repeatedly.
As Kirsi scanned the plaza with those sweeping glances, her eyes caught a group dressed in black. And of course, she was among them.
“Sister!!”
Kirsi raised her hand high and waved. Asena’s sharp eyes turned toward her mid-conversation. She gave a brief gesture to her group before walking over.
“.....Kirsi. What are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to go see Brother?”
“Hehe, today Brother said he would come to me. Jealous?”
At Kirsi’s words, Asena’s eyes narrowed subtly.
“......Brother is coming here?”
Asena’s head turned this way and that, scanning the plaza. The strange behavior made Kirsi tilt her head.
“...Why, sister?”
“....You can’t go find Brother yourself?”
Asena asked as if worried. But she was speaking without knowing the full situation. Kirsi had no intention of backing down.
“...No. There’s a reason. I’ll explain tonight.”
“....Still. Just go to him, Kirsi.”
“I already made a promise… What if we miss each other again like the day before yesterday…”
“.....Sigh…”
Asena looked deeply dissatisfied. Kirsi found it incredibly strange.
“...Sister. What’s wrong?”
“....That…”
Asena seemed to wrestle with something for a moment, then let out a long breath.
“...Ha… Never mind. Kirsi, if any problem comes up, I won’t let it slide.”
“.....What problem?”
“....There is one. Stick right by Brother’s side. Don’t even think about leaving him. Once I get used to the student council… I’ll have time to join you for meals too. Just hold on until then.”
Having said her piece, Asena spun around sharply. She really was like the wind. Kirsi didn’t try to stop her. After all, the meeting she had been looking forward to wasn’t with her sister, but with Caiden.
Sometimes even Kirsi found it mysterious. They were family, so why were her feelings toward her sister and her brother so different? Even though they were twins, she felt closer to Caiden. Her heart felt more tender toward him. When facing Asena, the heart-pounding feeling she got with Caiden never appeared.
While she was lost in such unimportant thoughts, her second set of visitors arrived. They were the noble young ladies Kirsi had grown close to.
“Kirsi!”
“Mary! Everyone!”
Kirsi waved warmly at Mary Bones, who led the group. Before she knew it, the girls had surrounded her.
“Kirsi, after class you ran off so quickly. We wondered where you were going, and it was just the fountain?”
Mary Bones laughed as if it were ridiculous. There was a significant gap in family status, yet Kirsi had become so sociable that she spoke comfortably with everyone.
“Hehe.”
Kirsi beamed. The noble girls surrounding her all melted at the sound of her laughter.
Kirsi proudly explained why she was waiting there.
“Actually, Brother is supposed to come today. We agreed to meet here, so I’m waiting like this.”
For a very brief moment, Kirsi felt a flicker of smugness.
“Caiden Freister?”
The moment someone spoke her brother’s name, her heart gave a heavy thud. She had thought she could simply brush it off with a casual ‘I see,’ but they were clearly showing interest in Caiden. It felt like an unexpected hook in her throat. Of course she was surprised. And that unpleasant feeling began creeping up again. It was exactly the same sensation she had felt with the Ice woman.
“....Huh? You… know Brother…?”
Kirsi asked cautiously.
“He’s a member of the Freister family, after all.”
Mary answered. The young ladies instantly began chattering among themselves, their conversation blooming like flowers. There was no time to stop them. Their interest in Caiden only grew.
‘The one who joined the Knight Department, right?’
‘I heard he’s incredibly kind and talented!’
‘Wow… Just seeing him come find Kirsi tells you everything. He seems so caring.’
‘My brother is honestly disgusting… It makes me jealous to see siblings who get along so well.’
‘I… I heard his body is incredible too…’
Even a noble lady who was usually too shy to speak joined the conversation. Kirsi felt her expression gradually hardening. Something was wrong. She tried to change the subject.
“Th-that’s enough. Where were you all headed?”
“We were thinking of eating and then taking a walk.”
“Really? Ahaha… so-sounds fun.”
“Want to come with us, Kirsi?”
“Um. I’m fine.”
Kirsi watched their expressions and spoke awkwardly.
“..Um.. I feel like I’ve taken up too much of your time. You should go ahead. I think I’ll need to stay a little longer… Hehe.”
She wanted them gone before Caiden arrived. It was pure instinct. Anxiety was rising inside her.
“Kirsi!!”
At that moment, the voice she loved most yet least wanted to hear right now rang out. It came from far away.
“...Ah…”
Kirsi bit her lip and turned toward Caiden, who was calling her name. He waved as he approached. Why did he look so handsome today of all days? It wasn’t the refined charm of a nobleman, but a rugged, masculine appeal. Kirsi’s heart, which knew little of such things, began racing again. His hair was damp with sweat from intense training. Feeling hot, he had removed his academy uniform and approached wearing only a white undershirt. The fabric clung to him, revealing every line of muscle. Did he only look this magnificent in her eyes?
Kirsi checked the reactions around her. And once again, displeasure washed over her. No one could tear their eyes away from him. They swallowed dryly, slightly lowering their heads while blinking rapidly and stealing glances. The chattering young ladies from before had vanished. Every one of them was now pretending to be modest and refined.
“Kirsi!”
He called her again. Kirsi ran to him and threw herself into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his body and held him tightly in front of everyone, as if refusing to let anyone take him.
“I’m covered in sweat and dust, Kirsi. Don’t cling to me.”
Caiden’s hands gently pushed at her shoulders. The more he pushed, the tighter she held on. Just as he said, the scent of his body was strong. To her, it was an intoxicatingly addictive smell. A masculine scent that matched his appearance. She felt the difference between their genders all over again.
Caiden eventually gave up trying to push her away and began whispering in her ear. Kirsi felt her ears burn crimson.
“.....So…. where are those boys?”
“...Huh?”
Kirsi whispered back from within his embrace.
“No, I need to put those boys in their place first so they won’t dare cling to you.”
He spoke such cute words in a completely serious voice. Kirsi forgot about the young ladies behind her and smiled the familiar smile she always wore with him.
“Brother, did you come looking this cool on purpose because of that?”
“Huh? Do I look decent today?”
“Yes. You look really cool.”
“Hehe… Truth is, I did prepare a little. Tried to show off the muscles better.”
Kirsi giggled and covered her mouth. Whispering together like this felt just like when they were children, sharing secrets under the blankets. It was possible because his embrace was as wide and warm as a winter quilt. Feeling that, Kirsi unconsciously swallowed, overwhelmed by how dependable he felt.
....But she wasn’t the only one.
‘Wow… He really is handsome…’
‘…He seems incredibly reliable.’
‘I’m so jealous of Kirsi…’
Once again. Voices that shattered the peace. Kirsi woke from her sweet dream. She looked around. It seemed Caiden had heard them too; his head was already turning in that direction.
‘Kyaa! He’s looking this way!’
The murmuring grew louder. Caiden raised his hand as if to greet them, but Kirsi snatched it down before he could.
“...Huh?”
Leaving Caiden’s surprised reaction behind, she grabbed his wrist and pulled him along.
“I-I’m hungry! Brother, let’s go quickly!”
There was a brief moment of resistance, but Caiden soon followed where she led. Even on the way to the dining hall, Kirsi began noticing something she hadn’t before. She had to keep glancing around, scanning her surroundings.
“Were you that hungry?”
Caiden asked, but Kirsi was too busy watching the attention around them to answer. Suddenly Asena’s advice came to mind. The warning not to leave his side even for a moment.
‘Was this why she told me not to leave Brother?’
She wondered. ‘…Huh? Then does sister feel the same discomfort in these situations?’
Kirsi stopped walking and looked back at Caiden. His sweat-slicked hair made her heart tremble. If Asena had predicted this, then she should follow her advice. She should be the one going to find him. The promise from yesterday would have to be broken. She disliked the Ice family woman, but she hated the idea of so many other women looking at Caiden even more. Without realizing it, Kirsi began weighing her options.
“Br-Brother.”
“Yes?”
“I’ve been thinking. There are too many people at the fountain, don’t you think?”
“Hmm… Yeah, your friends were quite numerous.”
“Right. Now that I’ve tried it, I understand. It would be better if I went to find you like before. It’s too complicated this way.”
Caiden stroked his chin.
“…You want to do that?”
“Yes.”
Kirsi answered with firm conviction. She thought this would calm the problem that had erupted. At least until she entered the classroom the next day.
....
The following day, the moment Kirsi stepped into the classroom she felt a sticky interest thick in the air. It was directed at her, yet it didn’t truly want her. The atmosphere was spreading from the noble young ladies at its center. Kirsi felt an inexplicable anxiety. It was intuition. She could tell this interest was aimed at Caiden Freister, who had shown himself yesterday. Her brother. Asena was not yet in the classroom.
Kirsi pretended not to notice the attention and deliberately gave off an unapproachable aura. Normally she would enter with a bright greeting and chatter away. Today, however, she simply walked in quietly and sat at her desk without a word. Perhaps because of the atmosphere, even the women who had prepared to approach her hesitated once more. The only one who carefully crossed the barrier Kirsi had created was Mary Bones.
“....Kirsi, is something wrong?”
“Ah......”
“....Are you feeling ill…?”
“....No. I’m just feeling a bit down.”
At Kirsi’s answer, Mary glanced at the young ladies standing behind her. One of them wore an openly disappointed expression. Kirsi didn’t like it. She could guess exactly why. They had wanted to ask about Caiden through her, but now that chance had disappeared. Kirsi was not used to stress of this level. While living in the Freister castle, thanks to Caiden, her days had always been fun. For several years she had not felt this kind of dirty emotion. There had been times she sulked when Caiden didn’t hug her or forgot his goodnight kiss on her forehead, but it had been a long time since she felt this bad.
Kirsi felt an urge to say something harsh. But… after the incident a few days ago, she knew what would happen. Even though Caiden wasn’t present, if she caused a scene here it would naturally reach his ears. Then she would fail to keep her promise not to show him an ugly side… and earning his hatred would be the next step. Besides, Kirsi knew no actual incident had occurred to justify her anger. It was simply that her mood had turned foul for no clear reason. She had no choice but to endure it alone.
“Mary… I’ll rest my head on the desk until class starts.”
“Ah, okay…! Rest well, Kirsi.”
Kirsi laid her arms on the desk and buried her face. She didn’t want to speak with anyone right now. She knew what they were curious about, and she had no desire to tell them anything. So although she pretended to sleep, their whispering voices kept reaching her.
‘Wasn’t he incredibly kind?’
‘How can someone be like that even to his own sister…?’
Kirsi squeezed her eyes shut tighter. No matter what they said, she would not react. If she endured just a little longer, this moment would pass and the excitement about Caiden would die down.
‘It’s my first time realizing a knight could be that cool… Our family only has old men, so I didn’t know.’
‘His body was amazing…’
But once the nobles’ conversation had burst open, it refused to stop. Kirsi clenched her fists tightly. They were praising Caiden… something that should feel good to hear, yet she hated it.
‘I wish someone would cherish me that much too…’
‘…I’m jealous of Lady Kirsi…’
“.....”
Kirsi tossed and turned. It was too uncomfortable. She prayed for class to begin soon.
‘……I want to date Caiden.’
Someone whispered from within the crowd.
-Thud!
Kirsi’s knee slammed into the desk. Everyone’s heads turned toward the sound. At some point she had sat up straight and was now staring at the women with fierce, predatory eyes. The friendly Kirsi had disappeared. In her place was the giant serpent of the Freister family. Everyone couldn’t help but feel afraid. It was as if a predator that had been toying with its prey had finally revealed its true nature. The air froze with tension. Even Mary swallowed hard.
But soon Kirsi broke into a bright smile. A few oblivious nobles let out sighs of relief, yet the quicker ones kept their guard up.
“What are you all talking about, girls?”
The woman who had claimed to be in a bad mood was gone. Kirsi jumped into the group with her usual cheerfulness. She could endure it no longer. They all looked like thieves to her now. She knew they held no malice. In fact, it was the opposite. Their excessive goodwill was the problem. Why did they keep showing interest? Why did they keep coveting? The words “I want to date him” were the most ridiculous thing Kirsi had ever heard in her life. Because.
......Because….
.......
‘Yes. Brother isn’t interested in such things, so what are you all thinking, talking about dating him?’
Kirsi began crafting a reason. Otherwise she wouldn’t be able to hold back her anger. For a brief second she imagined the woman before her becoming Caiden’s lover. Caiden, who always hugged her, would instead embrace this woman. His gentle words would change direction and flow toward someone else.
“....Wow…”
It was so repulsive that an exclamation slipped out unconsciously. She had never felt such intense hatred before. It was horrifically terrible. Suddenly aware of the eyes on her, she quickly fixed her expression. Among the stiffened young ladies, Mary was the first to speak.
“Ah, well… Brother Caiden is so—”
‘It should be Lord Caiden. Who are you to call him Brother?’
Even Mary’s words, which would normally have pleased her, now grated on Kirsi’s nerves. She didn’t show it.
“—so cool… We were just talking about that.”
Kirsi kept her smile fixed in place and endured the unpleasant words. Her mind spun rapidly. How should she handle this? What Kirsi wanted was clear. She didn’t want them showing any more interest in Caiden. She didn’t want them coming near him. She didn’t want them coveting him.
She considered her options. Should she warn them? Tell them not to pay him attention anymore? No. There was no justification, and it would only look strange. Even though the Freister family was powerful, issuing a warning in front of everyone—an act of abusing power—would only create backlash. Then should she ask them gently? Say that Caiden had things to focus on so they should leave him alone? That wouldn’t work either. A soft approach seemed unlikely to completely quell the commotion.
Only one method remained. A way that wouldn’t ruin her relationships with them while extinguishing their interest in Caiden. Fortunately, they still knew almost nothing about him. They were nothing more than flies drawn to the faintest glimmer of light among his many charms. At this level, she could crush them simply by covering that light with her palm.
“I…. I didn’t say anything bad! Really. I was only thinking that he was cool.”
Mary spoke as if making an excuse.
“Really?”
Kirsi opened her mouth. Since her goal was so clear, acting was easy.
“Hehe. You think Brother is cool?”
Kirsi asked the noble ladies standing behind Mary.
“Yes….”
One noblewoman nodded with flushed cheeks. Kirsi stared at her for a long moment, then—
“.....Pfft—”
She burst into loud laughter as if she had heard the funniest joke in the world. Everyone looked at her in shock. Laughing wasn’t difficult. The idea that the woman before her wanted to take her place was simply too ridiculous. The notion of wanting to win Caiden’s favor was absurd. After laughing for quite some time, Kirsi lowered her voice to a whisper.
“Haha… How amusing. But that’s because you don’t know Brother’s true self.”